Sunday, December 19, 2021

Divorcing an Abusive Husband (What Every Woman Needs to Know)

Few situations in marriage can leave you feeling more powerless and afraid than being in an abusive relationship with your husband.

It is not a situation that happens overnight.  Abuse is a gradual process that goes down a long and dangerous slope and creates far-reaching emotional, physical and financial consequences.

There are steps an abused wife can take to escape, but these take planning and effort while still trying to manage the day-to-day minefields of an abusive marriage.

Recognizing the signs of abuse, understanding the motivations of the abuser and why an abused wife continues to stay in a marriage are all keys to a greater awareness that must be reckoned with as part of the process.

 I’m a domestic violence advocate not a therapist but if I can put my therapist hat on for a moment, let’s go back to an abuser being a little boy and maybe at some point in his life finding that he felt totally powerless.

Perhaps he had one parent or another or both of them that were abusive, and he felt that the world was not a safe place and he felt that a loss of control threatened his very existence.

This may have been followed at some point in his life where he decided he was never going to feel powerless again. The stage is now set as an adult for him to decide he is never going to feel powerless or a loss of control again.

I said before, that abuse is a learned behavior. They often learn at the master’s knee. If you talk to any one of the 1,400 women I worked with, in most cases, you’ll find that with their partners, one of their parents was incredibly abusive growing up. Sometimes he is born different—with an apparent lack of empathy. More often it gets drummed out of him.

1 comment :

  1. And how does the Jewish woman receive a gett?


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