Sunday, August 13, 2023

R. Sternbuch 5:344 - Harchakos of R. Tam


Rav Sternbuch Proposal for Harchachos 5 344

12 comments :

  1. So we are supposed to just accept that the Torah supposedly enable husbands to abuse its authority to victimize these women?

    Doesn't jive with any sort of metahalachic considerations I can imagine.

    We are supposed to just accept that objections to someone acting in this manner can render a get invalid and subsequent innocent offspring are possibly mamzerim? Where supposed to accept that this sort of status can be the result not of two adults engaging in inherently repugnant behavior but rather because someone who didn't want to live with this woman anymore but only wanted to make her life difficult (or his personal hand better) was under peer presure to do the right thin?

    We're supposed to believe that halachah cannot distinguish between coercing someone to separate from his wife when he doesn't want to and peer presure on someone who doesn't want to be married but doesn't want to allow his wife to marry someone else?

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  2. great question, Yirmiahu...

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  3. I solved the worst Agunah cases in Monsey years ago in my youth. Most of the Agunah issues are the result of bad mistakes because the community did not take things in hand immediately when things started failing. And even afterwards, when the community gets involved, wonderful things can happen. All I hear is about changing the Torah, but doing what we should be doing, changing the things that produce frustration in life and in family and in marriage, we hear nothing.

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    1. Your response seems a little cryptic. If your advocating that early involvement can bring about reconcilliation, yasher koach v'hatzlachah. Certainly or first and foremost goal in preventing the modern style agunah cases is to improve marriage. But if you are speaking about situations where the marriage will be disolved I don't see how there is a substantive difference even if the peer presure is more low key.

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    2. One thing that would help tremendously, I would think, is a pre-nup -- yet it seems to be off the table completely...

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  4. "Thus one should not make it easy to split up a couple even if they don’t have children and surely if the do have children."

    Is this the reason why frum rabbonim send battered wives back to their husbands? Like, wait and see?

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    1. batmelech your comments are disgusting. This is your last warning

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    2. This was a serious question with no denigrating after-thoughts....

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  5. anonymous comments are not published

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  6. Geeez, all I did was forget to enter my name! I was just saying that Batmelech's statements don't seem disrespectful -- at least the ones I see.

    btw, here is a link I just got. It is a video done by some Japanese thanking others for helping them during their recent natural disaster. especially moving are the references and video to/of Israel. You can even see a kipah or two...

    Contrast that with the lack of gratitude so many have towards Israel -- truly disgusting!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=SS-sWdAQsYg&vq=medium

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  7. Yirmayohu,
    I worked with Agunah cases that many people had tried and failed. I got the community involved. We worked hard, and we succeeded. There was no hate anywhere when it was over. This is the power of the community when everyone wants to solve the issue. Today we have an army for women, ORA, and people on the other side for men, and what can you expect? This is a guarantor of violence and chilil haShem, and woe to the children and even the couple.

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  8. WADR to Rav Shternbuch (and unlike instances when that cliche is used I actually mean it), ostracization doesn't work in a world where the recalcitrant husband can always find a community that either supports his side of the story or doesn't really care.

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