Adultery: Kosher style? Defense of Kotzker Rebbe

Alshich (Tehilim 51:7): Behold in sin I was formed – From the time it decreed that I should be born by means of the sin of Lot’s daughter who had an incestual relation with her father which is disgusting and terrible sin – but that is how I was formed. As it says in Bereishis Rabbah (50:16), “I found Dovid My servant” where was he found? In Sedom. And in sin my mother conceived me - that is referring to Ruth who is referred to as mother as it says in Bava Basra (91b)... she was the mother of the Davidic monarchy. From the time when she got the idea of lying at the feet of Boaz which was the sin of chilul Hashem as we see in Ruth Rabbah (6:1) that Boaz prayed that no one would know that she came to the threshing floor. And You G‑d did not consider it bad since You knew the motivation was good....

Devarim (05:17): You shall not kill. Nor shall you commit adultery. Nor shall you steal. Nor shall you bear false witness against your neighbor.

Bamidbar Rabbah (09:43): Our Rabbis said: When a woman is secluded with her husband and is engaged in intercourse with him, and at the same time her heart is with another man whom she has seen on the road, there is no adultery greater than this.\

 Chazon Ish (Igros Kodesh #01): It is important to note that our Sages are not saying to love one's wife with the natural love that man is attracted to a woman but rather to love her with the love that friends have for each other - as someone he knows and has a covenant with him and that they are partners in many things and each one helps and receives help from the other. In addition the love he feels for her should also come from gratitude. He needs to have the clear image in his mind that if he had not gotten a wife and would have remained alone and isolated - how much suffering and pain he would have from this. But now that he has a wife his life is in place and functioning. The significance of gratitude is immeasurably important. This type of love is what our Sages say a man is obligated to have towards his wife. And again this love does not come from the lust a man has for a woman at all but from one of the good attributes which he is obligated to have. He needs to have this type of love and feeling towards her when he strives to cause her rejoicing at the time of intercourse and well as before and afterwards. Such a relationship is not disgusting – chas v'shalom – but rather it is a mitzva. In fact he should conduct himself in this manner even if he were not obligated by the Torah and surely now that the Torah does obligated it - as we mentioned before.

 Kotzker Rebbe (Emes v’Emuna p635):The biblical prohibition on adultery included relations with one’s own wife if they involved sexual desire.

 Rambam (Yesodei HaTorah 5:9): A man who lusts after a particular woman and is dying because of this lust and the doctors say that there is no other cure except for him to have intercourse with her – it is better to let him die even if she is unmarried. Even to speak with her when she is behind a fence is not something we tell him to do. He should die rather than speak to her from behind a fence. Jewish girls should not be freely available because this will lead to a licentious attitude to sex.

Rashi (Tehilim 51:7): Behold I was formed in transgression – So how could I not sin. The basis of my being formed was my parents sexual intercourse and through intercourse it is possible to be involved in a number of transgression. And alternative explanation, my principle formation was from male and female – both of them are full of sins. However there are other interpretive readings to this verse and they do not conform to the subject matter of the verse.

Rashi (Mishlei 9:17): Stolen water is sweet – The pleasure from intercourse with an unmarried woman is not the same as adultery with a married woman. 

 Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 25:10): A man should not have intercourse with his wife and be thinking about another woman – even if both are his wives

 Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 157:2) A person who has strong desire to commit adultery it is better to have intercourse with his own wife and imagine it is the other woman – nevertheless he needs to repent for his desire to sin (Taz)

 Taz (Y.D. 157:10) Rema states that a person who has strong desire to commit adultery it is better to have intercourse with his own wife and imagine it is the other woman – this is obvious nevertheless he needs to repent this act since he had intention to sin as we see in Kiddushin 81) that Rav Chiya repented this for the rest of his life. 

 Tehilim (051:07):. Behold, I was shaped in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.

 Vayikra (20:10): And the man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

 Vayikra Rabbah (14:05) In sin I was formed (Tehilim 51:7)… Dovid said before G-d, did my father actually have intent to have me or was he was he focused on his own pleasure? Obviously it was for pleasure because when they finished, my father and mother both turned their faces away from each other.

Yalkut HaMakiri Tehilim (118 28): Tehilim (51:7) Behold I was born in sin. Yishai was separated from his wife for three years. After three years he had a pretty maid servant that he lusted for. He said to the slave, ”My daughter; I prepared myself for you tonight to free you.” The slave went to his wife, “ “Save yourself and the soul of your husband from Hell. ”She replied, “What is happening? ”The slave told her everything. She replied, “My daughter what can I do since he hasn’t touched me for three years?. Go prepare yourself and so will I” And she did. That evening, the slave got up and extinguished the candle. and closed the door. The wife entered and the slave left. The wife was with her husband the whole night and became pregnant with Dovid. Because of his strong passion for the slave Dovid was born very ruddy compared to his brothers. His brothers wanted to kill him seeing that he was red {a sign of adultery]. However their father told them to leave him alone so instead of killing him they treated him instead as a slave and shepherd.

 Zohar (01:8a) Domeh ascended before the Creator, and said: “Master of the world, 'Master of the universe, in the Torah it says of "the man that commits adultery with another man's wife...the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death"' (Vayikra 20:10). Furthermore, it is written, "Moreover, you shall not lie carnally with your neighbor's wife, to defile yourself with her" (Vayikra 18:20). So what is to become of David, who has profaned his organ (of the holy covenant by committing a sexually immoral act)? G-d said to him, "David is righteous! And the holy covenant remains intact, because it is known to Me that Bathsheba was assigned to him since the day the world was created