Thursday, May 12, 2016

Where is Torah Justice for Frum Divorced Fathers?

Guest post by Menachem B.

"Do not pervert justice" (Leviticus 19:15). 

"The judge who perverts justice is called an unjust person, hateful and detested, doomed to destruction, and an abomination." (Rashi on Leviticus 19:15).

"Orthodox" Feminist activists often love to proclaim their support for alleged "Justice" and "Gender Equality" in regards to Jewish women.  

But the double standards and hypocrisy of the Orthodox Feminist activists are blatant. 

If one examines the marriage/divorce policies of these activists, it is clear they are not promoting halachic divorce practices or halachic justice. 

Rather the Orthodox Feminist activists are promoting blatant double standards of female power, privilege, and control over males. 

The double standards promoted by these activists are in fact major causes of the alleged "agunot crisis" that the Orthodox Feminist activists constantly protest! 

Here are some critical questions that need to be asked to the Orthodox Feminist activists:

1. ANTI-MALE PRENUPS: Why does the standard US Modern Orthodox prenup empower a Jewish wife to force a Jewish divorce on her husband for any reason using massive financial penalties, while Jewish husbands are not allowed any such option of forcing a Jewish divorce on their wives?

2. FEMALE GET REFUSAL ALLOWED: Why does the JOFA Guide to Jewish Divorce explicitly allow female Get refusal under some circumstances, while Get refusal by Jewish husbands is adamantly opposed by Orthodox Feminist activists who characterize it as evil, cruel, and unacceptable? 

3. FAKE SEIRUVIM AGAINST MEN: Why are alleged "seiruvim" against Jewish men constantly publicized on Orthodox Feminist websites (such as the ORA and Jewish Press sites), even when the husbands are in compliance with halacha? 

4. SEIRUVIM AGAINST WOMEN IGNORED: Why are valid seiruvim against Jewish women very rarely or else never publicized in the Orthodox Feminist media, even when the women have committed major violations of halacha? 

5. PROTESTS ONLY AGAINST MEN: Why are alleged male Get refusers (including men compliant with halacha) often subjected to protests, public shaming, sanctions, etc. by Orthodox Feminist activists (such as ORA), while female Get refusers, female halacha violators, female mosrim, and female parental alienators are almost never subjected to any protests, public shaming, or sanctions? 

6. ONLY HUSBANDS MUST CONCEDE: In typical divorce conflicts, why do the Orthodox Feminist "rabbis" and activists demand that the husband comply with his wife's demands, including demands for a Get, while almost never demanding that the wife reciprocate by respecting the husband's halachic rights, including respecting the husband's rights to parent his children?

7. EVERY WIFE AN INNOCENT AGUNAH: Why do Orthodox Feminist "rabbis", activists, and media often rush to label any woman in a divorce conflict as an innocent oppressed "agunah" worthy of public support, regardless of her halachic compliance, regardless of her halachic right to a Get, and regardless of any severe transgressions she committed against her husband?  

8. EVERY HUSBAND GUILTY: Why do Orthodox Feminist "rabbis", activists and media, when discussing divorce conflicts, often misrepresent halacha and facts to portray Jewish husbands as evil oppressors of their wives?

9. ANNULMENTS FOR WOMEN ONLY ALLOWED: Why do Orthodox Feminist "rabbis" and activists often extend full recognition to halachically invalid "marriage annulments" obtained by Jewish women, while usually refusing to recognize halachically valid heter meah rabbanim obtained by Jewish men?

10. CRUEL TREATMENT OF FATHERS IGNORED: Why do Orthodox Feminist "rabbis" and activists almost completely ignore the desperate plight of divorced Jewish fathers, many of whom are virtual agunim who have been alienated from or denied access to their children, or were financially crushed in non-Jewish courts, or were booted out of their homes on fake domestic violence charges? 

Its time to start focusing some significant efforts on restoring halachic justice and halachic rights for frum divorced fathers. 

Without halachic rights for Jewish men it may be impossible to preserve Jewish families and resolve the agunot-agunim problems.


  1. “Where is Torah Justice for Frum Divorced Fathers?”

    Let me add. In NYS courts we can ask where is federal law justice for divorced fathers?

    I quote my May 11, 2016 letter to the NYS Court of Appeals:

    3.In my letter yesterday I requested: “I'm asking here that the NYS Court of Appeals issue a similar order freezing my TIAA pension, especially prohibiting TIAA paying 55% to Susan, until the NYS Court of Appeals fully deals with the matter.”

    4.Surely, the NYS Court of Appeals will follow ERISA rules. The Judge Rigler 100% freeze order February 1994, which was left intact until Judge Rigler's October 1997 QDRO, violated the ERISA rule that 55% is the max a court could alienate a person from his pension. Let the NYS Court of Appeals now issue an interim order freezing 55% of my pension, the 55% that TIAA currently pays Susan.

    5.The NYS courts and TIAA were high-handed with me. I turned to the federal courts, but Judge Sand made it clear, that federal courts cannot intervene. Only the NYS Court of Appeals can intervene, to enforce ERISA. ERISA is an act of US Congress that a person's pension is sacred. Congress made it illegal to 100% alienate a person from his own pension.

  2. Fight fire with fire, Ka'asher zamam la'asot. You must put the feet of these feminist Anti-Torah, Anti-Halacha rabbis so called Gedolim to the fire and expose them for what they are. They are not above the Torah and cannot do away with it, by having menedele Prods doing their dirty work with Mafia tactics. We the People need Nachshon ben Aminodov's taking them to task and create a Dedicated Organization lehachzir atoro leyoshno as it was meant to be. It might take a Citifield's mass gathering to undo these Treifene works they have developed throughout the years. All these devices and gadgets that you blame to be the churban are nothing but diversions of the real problems. It is 'You' proclaiming Kol Kore's - are the problem. Our children you are mafkir to the notorious mushchosim hayeduim leshimtza and give them haven in Israel to be Mechapeh, our botim beYisrael you destruct by inventing false heteirim and mafkir our Yakirei bnei yisrael robbing them blind of their lifelong toil and their children. Your are matir eishes ish lashuk for nezid adashim and bring adrelemusya and Gilui Arayos baolam. You bring in mamzerim beYisroel and make a mockery of Kedushes Yisroel veKodhso. Oy no lanu ki chotonu! This is mamash a Holocaust. Have you no shame? have you no decency?

    We have some ehrliche yidden that have been fighting tooth and nail solo in exposes that brought on destruction to Taharas haKodesh of Beis Yisrael manufacturing Mamzerim wholesale Bikhal Hashem, of which is to be brought up to the next level to outdo the Meharsei haDas just because they can. Rabbi Shternbuch Shli"ta asked us all to PROTEST more and B"H we did until it came to light that they were matir eishes ish lashuk by megaleh ponim baTorah shelo Kehalacha with fake siruvim, hired goons Anshei Bliya'al with gvar Alim tactics and at the end they were exposed to what they are. Even as of today and as of now they did not undo the nevolo beYisrael telling the culprits to depart by declaring it publicly. They yet also have to ask mechila of the Nirdaf publicly. The ORA Knufya has to be dismantled and put to Justice, hen beDinei Yisrael vehen beDinei deMalchusse. All those involved must be publicized, all the supporters must be exposed along with their strong arm tactics even it reaches all the way to the top. They also must resign their posts velo yehei esek imahem just like the Mikva peepers and their so called rabiners lemineihem. This whole den of snakes is rotten to the core. Something is rotten right here in the backyard and in the front yard and smells all over the world ad lev haShamayim. The Torah is not up for sale, not for $60,000 and not for kol kessef vezohov shebaolam. We must bring back ruach Yisroel Sovo with Anshei Emes sonei botza, only thusly can we prevail.

  3. Education. Students from the youngest age must be taught the Torah-true Halachos of the relationship between husband and wife. Once upon a time students learned these things from the example of their parents, grandparents, extended family, and community. Now high school girls are dragged to ORA rallies. I know. I was at a rally where it happened and took it on myself to engage the students in a discussion.

  4. Sorry to say, but the questions in this article are almost silly. One could ask similar types of questions against PETA, Planned Parenthood, Woman of the wall, reform rabbis and other such types of groups and organizations, Jewish and not.
    These are all liberal radical (feminist) groups who have their own agendas nothing to do with any real and consistent principles. For the Jewish related of these types of groups Halacha is nice if it agrees with me. If not, then let's change Halacha.

  5. Until you find a Beis Din yoser begodol bechochmo uvminyan, you have no prayer. torah lechud, vepolitics lechud. Let them first change their prayers to shelo osani ish, then we see. Besides, vezos hatorah lo tehe muchlefes, and megaleh ponim batorah shelo kahalacha will not apply. See mendele schmendrik prod yochiach.

  6. Let us start with some basic corrections of fact. First, the prenup of the BDA (I assume that is what you are referring to) does not empower a wife to force her husband to give a get or impose penalties under any circumstances. It empowers the beit din to do so if they consider it warranted. It also permits a husband to summon his wife to the beit din, and binds both of them to the decision by the beit din.

    Second, as I suspect Mr. Aronoff knows, ERISA protects a spouse's share of the other spouse's pension earned during the marriage, and does not permit a divorcing spouse to unilaterally remove his or her ex-spouse as a beneficiary. It requires a waiver from the ex-spouse. (For that matter, it also doesn't permit an employee who is not divorcing to remove his or her spouse without a waiver.) Federal Courts of Appeal have differed as to what extent and under what circumstances a waiver entered into as part of a divorce settlement is valid.

  7. Mike, stop trying to bamboozle us. The standard BDA prenup requires the husband to pay a penalty of $150 per day if "domestic residence" ceases " for whatever reasons" and as long as he remains "married according to Jewish law". Meaning that the wife can walk out of the marriage at any time and the husband must pay her $4500 per month until he gives a Get, in addition to "spousal support" which presumably includes child support.

    The alleged "mezonos" payments imposed on the husband by the standard MO prenups are a halachic farce as pointed out by various halachic authorities. Shulchan Aruch, Evan HaEzer 70 rules that a Jewish husband does not owe mezonos to his wife if she has left him. That is exactly the situation the MO prenups are designed for.

    The MO prenups enforce feminist gender privilege using legal means. The only purpose of these prenups is to grant a Jewish wife a special privilege not granted to her by halacha, and not granted by halacha to her husband either - ie the ability to arbitrarily divorce her husband at any time.

  8. Mike, my understanding is that there is no alimony in halacha. Therefore a wife who seizes her husband's income in court is committing gezailah d'oraisa. If you and your ORA knufya want to allow wives to seize their husband's income using Federal law, then we must also rely on Federal law in regards to the Jewish Get. Meaning that Mr. Aronoff should never have been obligated to provide his ex-wife a Get since Federal law cannot entangle itself in religious matters according to the Constitution.

  9. The prenup authorizes the BDA to require the husband to give his wife a divorce. The BDA believes a husband is required to give his wife a Get virtually anytime she wants it. Even if halacha doesn't require it. So, effectively, the prenup empowers Get-on-demand from the wife.

  10. Politically IncorrectMay 13, 2016 at 7:55 PM

    Good, Menachem, somebody has to keep these questions from dying. ...not just those who live them....

  11. “Where is Torah Justice for Frum Divorced Fathers?” Thanks, Menachem, for this excellent guest post. Thanks for your further comment to Mike:

    “Mike, my understanding is that there is no alimony in halacha. Therefore a wife who seizes her husband's income using civil courts is committing gezailah d'oraisa. If you and your ORA knufya want to allow wives to seize their husband's income using Federal law, then we must also rely on Federal law in regards to the Jewish Get. Meaning that Mr. Aronoff should never have been obligated to provide his ex-wife a Get since Federal law cannot entangle itself in religious matters according to the Constitution.”

    My lawyer, when I had one over 10 years ago, told me that, ultimately, the NYS courts will penalize TIAA $10 million. On the internet I see that Susan is behind the pre-nups. I trust that Yeshiva U. and MO etc will be disassociating themselves from forced gets and pre-nups, now that Mendel Epstein et al are in jail.


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