sb's comment "World of Geirim - IV Seeing both sides":
DT: "Before addressing your other points could you explain your positive response to these posts while Michal and Gioret have viewed them asattacks on them?"
I don't know what to explain. You seem nterested in the truth and exploring tough issues in a sensitive andhonest way.
DT: "Would you mind writing a post about this?
Describe a little about your background. What your expectations were?What possible solutions do you see?
If in fact this is somethingwhich you think is painful but understandable - do you think it should be mentioned clearly to prospective conversion candidates?"
Inthe interest of anonymity, I don't know if I would write a whole post. If you could give me guidelines on how to write a post without givingaway who I am, I could do it.
I'll post a bit here, and I'll keep it vague: My background is that my father is Jewish, mother not. I have learned for quite a few years in 3 yeshivas, the last two "mainstream," in both Israel and the US.
I didn't really have anyexpectations. I realized that the Torah is true and I realized that things might be difficult but it didn't matter.
As for the last two questions, I can't suggest solutions since I don't understand the problem. I have never heard a cogent answer as to why being a convert,or a bt, is considered such a bad thing in terms of shidduchim. The thing is that most (all?) ffb families would take a far less accomplished fbb over a far more accomplished ger/bt. From this it seems that it is some sort of intrinsic issue. This doesn’t make sense to meand I’m still trying to figure it out or hear an answer from someone.
Maybe it’s the Gemara you referenced in Berachos (and also in Arvei Pesachim) about not marrying a giyores, along with the b’nei niddahissue for BT’s? I just have a hard time believing that everyone knows those gemaras and that they are so makpid about them…Sometimes I think maybe it has to do with a "What will my friends/family think" type of thing, but that seems too shallow for many of the people and it doesn't really explain it.
MT: “Didn't you tell me you were a BT, is there two "SB"s?”
I may have said that. I use BT sometimes as a blanket term for a person that didn’t grow up religious. Also, my father is Jewish and I actually thought I was Jewish growing up – reform Hebrew school etc – before I found out at some point that I wasn’t, so it feels like a technicality to me anyhow. I guess it wasn’t really technically correct, though. (Although if we are nitpicking the word "ba’al t’shuva" is not really correct for bts either.)