XOJANE I can’t imagine what the victim at the center of the Weberman trial is feeling right now as the jury has finally returned, finding the Satmar Hasidic leader guilty on 59 counts of sexual abuse of a minor. And I know her situation was completely different from mine, but here's what we have in common:
We were both victims of sexual abuse in the Hasidic community. We were both molested by trusted counselors we were brought to because we were rebellious children. We both experienced shame at the hands of the so-called “modesty committees,” formed to regulate people’s masturbation practices, and we will both never be the same.
But I did not prosecute my predator. That’s because of the complicated, maddening, perhaps "Stockholm Syndrome"-like relationship I have with my abuser.
I was born to a Hasidic family in Brooklyn, the fourth child of 12. My father is a Rebbe. Not a Rabbi, a Rebbe. Yes, there's a difference between the two.
A Rabbi is a nobody. Anybody who studies the Bible and Talmud can be a Rabbi. In fact, even if you haven't studied shit, no one can stop you from calling yourself Rabbi Jane. But a Rebbe is different. He is a spiritual leader, someone with a direct line to God, a holy man. The Rabbi is the guy you ask if the milk is kosher. The Rebbe is the guy you ask to ask God whether you should have heart surgery.
My mother is a Rebbetzin. The woman whose godly job is to deliver food, clean clothes and babies. When all that is done -- and by "that" I mean once the babies have been delivered -- her job is to keep them quiet and at bay so the Rebbe can have his alone time with God and talk about the meaning of life.
We were both victims of sexual abuse in the Hasidic community. We were both molested by trusted counselors we were brought to because we were rebellious children. We both experienced shame at the hands of the so-called “modesty committees,” formed to regulate people’s masturbation practices, and we will both never be the same.
But I did not prosecute my predator. That’s because of the complicated, maddening, perhaps "Stockholm Syndrome"-like relationship I have with my abuser.
I was born to a Hasidic family in Brooklyn, the fourth child of 12. My father is a Rebbe. Not a Rabbi, a Rebbe. Yes, there's a difference between the two.
A Rabbi is a nobody. Anybody who studies the Bible and Talmud can be a Rabbi. In fact, even if you haven't studied shit, no one can stop you from calling yourself Rabbi Jane. But a Rebbe is different. He is a spiritual leader, someone with a direct line to God, a holy man. The Rabbi is the guy you ask if the milk is kosher. The Rebbe is the guy you ask to ask God whether you should have heart surgery.
My mother is a Rebbetzin. The woman whose godly job is to deliver food, clean clothes and babies. When all that is done -- and by "that" I mean once the babies have been delivered -- her job is to keep them quiet and at bay so the Rebbe can have his alone time with God and talk about the meaning of life.
why won't he name him?
ReplyDeleteCheck out the link in the beginning of the article, it has the full letter and name and is worth a read.
ReplyDeleteAnyone notice this little bit of krumkeit here:
ReplyDeleteA Rabbi is a nobody. Anybody who studies the Bible and Talmud can be a Rabbi. In fact, even if you haven't studied s--t, no one can stop you from calling yourself Rabbi Jane. But a Rebbe is different. He is a spiritual leader, someone with a direct line to God, a holy man. The Rabbi is the guy you ask if the milk is kosher. The Rebbe is the guy you ask to ask God whether you should have heart surgery.
Makes one glad to be a Litvak.
Me too!
DeleteIt is too late to be effective. If there was somebody to talk to when he was young and frum, his words would be accepted. But one who is not frum now, and we don't know what he is doing with his life, we cannot just read an article and believe that somebody is hideously evil. That is the shame that things were not done right at the right time and maybe that is something that cannot be easily remedied. Only the above person knows what he should do. And he has to think clearly about his ability to do something legal and meaningful instead of dropping manure that people may or may not believe.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is too late to be effective, since the same problems still persist. It shows they are structural.
DeleteWhy should we believe the author of that article is a liar? He does not even describe the person as "hideously evil", but gives a quite nunaced picture with many grey-tones.
You do not seem to be aware that it might take some time for a victim of abuse to even realise they were abused, especially when the abuser is otherwise a nice person, helps them, gives the warmth, etc. An aunt of the girl who brought Weberman to trial said she, too, was abused (not by Weberman), and she kept returning "because (the abuser) was a nice man".
I know of someone who was fondled by her father all through her childhood (no penetration), and she realised only at age 30+ that this was abuse and had a negative impact on the development of her sexuality. When confronted with this, the father showed his true manipulative nature, played victim (very much the way Weberman did), and got support of most family members (very much the way Weberman got support from his group).
I recognize him.He is a grown man now.He has really capitalized on his leaving Hasidism .I wonder why some of these people act like crybabies .I believe that he is a victim .Having said that why doesn't he take justice into his own hands in some way.This man has given so many interviews .He has been interviewed on German television as well .Mostly about leaving Yiddishkeit .It is easier to be frei and blame somebody else.Not impressed .
ReplyDeleteLUZER TWERSKI
ReplyDeleteLuzer Twerski indeed stated, in the Village Voice, that his molester was David Greenfeld. Seperately from any action of Luzer, Greenfeld who was teaching in Moshalu Yeshiva in BP agreed in writing never to teach again. IT is posted in my blog along with an account of his arrest in another episode. Others have confirmed aspects of Luzer's account of molesting from things reported before he was OTD.
ReplyDeleteI think it is absurd not to believe an abuse victim who is OTD. Most were frum children when they were molested but the terrible communal pressures forclosed reporting to police until they were adults. Such was the case with Leah Weingarten daughter of Yisroel Moshe Weingarten. She did report it while still frum. She shared it with other choshuv rabbonim in the intervening years while she was still frum before she married a chasidish bochur. But of course no one went to police. She did not turn him in to hurt frumkeit. She did it because she had younger sibs who were to her understanding (and mine) being molested. She even went to her father and said I will not report you if you turn over the children to the mother (who was and is a chasidish woman). But yisroel moshe said no. Then she went to the FBI and he got arrested, convicted, and then sentenced to 30 years. When the frum word stops harassing, villifying, stigmatizing and torturing those who testify against menuvalim, Rabbi David Eisensohn, you will not have to rely as much on OTD witnesses to prosecute menuvalim to protect children. Right now, OTD witnesses are rescuing many frum children from horrible fates.
Besides, what happens if a frum yid rapes a gentile child. Should the relevant evidence be excluded unless there are frum witnesses. Should you trust that man around your community's children because he only raped a gentile and thus the witnesses were gentile.
Let the frum world embrace and protect those brave enough to testify and be subjected to degrading cross-examination and then it could choose to ignore OTD witnesses. Right now that policy is a prescription for the farce in Satmar. Weberman probably abused a 100 girls. Over ten are already known.They have talked to me, Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz, Mrs. Pearl Engelman, Mrs Judy (Henchy) Genut (from an old important malachim family), the Brooklyn DA, both Satmar Rebbes and others. But only one did the work of Nachshon and stepped forward. The other victims do not approve of the witnesses religious choices. But she is their hero. They sat there in court and cried. They hugged her and cried with her. Yet Satmar has the incredible chutzpah to scream bilbul.
It is shameful that only a few yechidim and the RCA have come out in support of the victim.