Sunday, September 21, 2014

Schlesinger Twins: Chabad finally dip their toe into the Schlesinger case

Guest post by Ari Steingold
I was amazed to read the "ask the Rabbi" column in "The Jewish News" this week: http://www.jewishnews.co.uk/ (to read the full newspaper, click on the right-hand column)

Finally, we see UK Chabad dipping their toe into the water. It should be no surprise to anyone familiar with Chabad culture that they have arrived late (there has already been public endorsements from Chief Rabbi Mirvis, Manchester Beth Din, etc...) but nevertheless it is very noteworthy.

Rabbi Schochet is a highly influential spokesperson within Chabad circles, and his unprompted passing reference to the Schlesinger case is more significant than it first seems. He brings Beth Alexander as a reference point, as if to recognize that her case in Vienna is an example of a clear injustice that is beyond debate.

I sincerely hope, now that there is public acknowledgement from senior and respected Chabad hierarchy, that a proper and thorough representation will be made to Biderman, and that the twins will soon be reunited with their mother once again.


------
Dear Rabbi,
I'm involved in a nasty custody battle with my ex-husband. He has the majority custody of the children until the finances are sorted and the divorce is final. Is there a halachic position on this? Does Judaism acknowledge the rights of one parent over another?
- Name Withheld

Dear 'NW',
Judaism sanctions common sense and what is in the best interest of the children. With the exception of extenuating circumstances, it is obvious it is the best interest of the children to enjoy shared love from both parents, which can be experienced only when there is shared access.

Once case which has made headlines in the national press is that of Beth Alexander in Vienna. I don't know the circumstances that led to a judge denying her the basic rights as a mother, or the thinking of a court that doesn't sanction the husband for constantly cancelling the already-sporadic visitation rights granted to her. But notwithstanding the courts, I would have thought the husband would want the best for his children and all responsible parents must surely want their children to experience the love that only a mother can give.

Tell your ex-husband he should park his spite and bury his hate and not use your kids as battering rams against you. If he loves them and wants them to have a stable future and be able to form loving and lasting relationships in their own lives, he should do the right thing and grant equal access.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Rabbi Pinto Agrees to Plea Bargain Agreement in Police Bribery case

Arutz 7   Rabbi Yosef Yoshiyahu Pinto, head of the 'Shuvu Yisrael' sect, signed a plea bargain agreement on Wednesday that attributes to him crimes of bribery, attempted bribery and disruption of proceedings.

The State Attorney's Office is expected to demand a one year prison sentence against the controversial rabbi.

As part of the plea agreement Rabbi Pinto would serve as a state witness against former police Maj. Gen. Menashe Arbiv, who is to be investigated on suspicion of receiving benefits.

Earlier this year, the Attorney General's Office stated it would file an indictment against Rabbi Pinto for allegedly attempting to bribe senior police officer Ephraim Bracha with $200,000 for information about a pending police investigation into the Hazon Yeshaya charity organization, which Pinto headed. 

Bracha immediately reported the incident to his superiors, prompting a separate investigation against Rabbi Pinto himself. 

That investigation revealed that Rabbi Pinto allegedly tried to bribe several other officers for information about the case against Hazon Yeshaya. The charity, which was supposed to have provided millions of dollars to Holocaust survivors and ran a popular soup kitchen and volunteer network in Jerusalem, closed in 2012 under allegations of fraud. [...]

David Horowitz: Chilling Exchange With Muslim Student



Rivky Stein and Yoel Weiss: Using Quantum Physics to explain why the beis din is phony - to eLamdan

eLamdan is having great trouble understanding why the beis din is phony according to halacha and reality. He has failed to grasp the obvious after being repeatedly shown the facts and the halacha. Therefore I am posting this comment by Egleh Arifeh as an attempt to elevate the level of discourse with eLamdan. eLamdan is clearly an intelligent and learned person - but he obviously has a strong psychological need to believe that Rivky Stein can do no wrong which is preventing him from seeing the clear reality that the beis din is phony.


Update Sept 17 see comments

* NEW and IMPROVED*
- Appended addendum
Vehinei od leBatata

"Yoel asked for proof the dayanim were real."
[...]


Guest post by Egleh Arifeh

* NEW and IMPROVED* - addendum

These phantom dayanim seem to be Quarks known as the G-d particle that can be at two different places at the same time, no need to ride on gmalim haporchim ba'avir.

Such shlichus, even malochim cannot provide. The alleged Rabbi that went to Israel, while sitting there shiva, sat in as a dayan in mill basin as well. The only difficulty he had is how to compromise with the time difference. Does he hold the time mimakom sheyotso misham, or while in Rome do as the Romans?

As far as Abeles goes, as you stated:
"He probably isn't a dayan... he just happens to have the same name as the actualdayan. This proves nothing in particular."
 ...since only the names are Quarks.

The only mystery that still remains is, where is the real Abeles dayan?

eLamdan • a day ago
"Video says exactly what the article said... two of three rabbis were there. What am I missing here?" 
 Sechel for one, and plenty of it.

Some scientists are looking for a super Quark, one that can be at three different places at the same time. One entity can be a clown, buffoon and a fool at three different places at the same time. I think I just discovered one, and have the proof to show for it.
******************************
* NEW and IMPROVED! *
******************************
Furthermore, if the Abeles that signed the Hazmonos and siruv as an alleged dayan, of which is NOT the Abeles that affirmed in the affidavit then he is not a Dayan and disassociated himself totally of having anything to do with this affair, we then have some questions.

1) Who IS the third Dayan?
2) IS there anyone that can affirm who he is?
3) What is his real name?
4) Was he present on 10th of Av?
5) Did anyone confirm his presence?
6) If not, why not?
7) Did anyone announce, inform, that he might NOT appear?
8) Did anyone announce that in lieu of Taub and Abeles (the supposed ben gilo Abeles) who WILL appear, and is just as well fully able to function and qualified in executing both, lifting the cherem and performing a Get.
9) If not, why not?
10) Mr. Weiss has the inalienable right to pose the condition of having the presence of the three alleged original dayanim, not so the Dayanim, they MUST be present and burden of proof is upon them to show in good faith that they CAN lift the alleged cherem. Less than that, it is nothing more then a moishav leitsim.
11) Why haven't we heard from this alleged Beis Din and alleged Dayonim the following day and after, that since Mr. Weiss did not appear on his appointed calendar day and designated time, therefore,... blah blah blah... and such and such, Huh? Just vanish without a trace? Less (beis) Din, veLess Dayan, veless AbeLess, velo klum. What happened to Taub? Orve Porach? Uporach lo ish haemes? This alleged Beis Din, was it castles made in sand or made of ice? So much for the 'forshpeiz'. I can go on and on, hazman yichle, veheim lo yichlu, vechaval al hazman!

Houston! They've got a problem. And lots of it.

And to you my friend adon lamdenLess and adon angemachts, you have no clue whether your coming or going. After all this, you have not presented even ONE fact, other than hypothesizing, throwing in a monkey wrench, questioning one question with another, such as "veyesh lehakshos bedoichek" something that you don't find in bechol chelkei hatorah, doubletalk, Dzsigan and Shumacher talk, without taking a stand or position one way or another. You just don't seem to get it. Al ken my friend, yofeh shtikosayich midiburayich, as the good book says, gam evil machrish - lechochom yechoshev. That is all I have to say.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Rifky Stein & Yoel Weiss: Israel Farkash - "coordinator" of Mill Basin Beis Din - breaking news

Allegations have been made that the court records are referring to Israel Farkash of the Beis Din. Arrested September 15 for an incident on September 10.



Abuse: Is hitting a child with a stick considered abuse in America?

NBC News    The indictment of Vikings running back Adrian Peterson for allegedly using a wooden "switch" to punish his 4-year-old son has put a spotlight on corporal punishment. Though on the downswing in the United States, physical discipline is still common in homes and schools and spanking, in particular, is widely supported. Here's a snapshot of the situation: 

AT HOME: Corporal punishment is technically legal in all 50 states. Statutes vary from state to state but generally say that the physical punishment must be reasonable or not excessive, although Delaware passed a law in 2012 that said it couldn't cause any injury or pain. Proposed legislative bans in several states have failed to pass, and courts have generally upheld parents' right to spank. This summer, New York's second highest court ruled that it was "reasonable use of force" for a father to use his open hand to hit an 8-year-old boy who had cursed. 

AT SCHOOL: Nineteen states allow corporal punishment in public and private schools. Federal data collected for 2009, the most recent available, estimates 184,527 students without disabilities were physically disciplined in schools across the country that year. The numbers reveal boys are more likely than girls to receive corporal punishment, and it was disproportionately applied to blacks.[...]

Rivky Stein and Yoel Weiss: 2nd Video of 10th of Av - Where is the Beis Din?



Monday, September 15, 2014

Rabbi Fred Todd - co-defendant with convicted fraudster Eliyahu Weinstein - confesses to Facebook & other fraud

update: 9/15/14 - Guest Post-  Yeshivat Pirchei Shoshanim owes its students some honest answers. 

Thirteen years ago, Rabbi Fishel Todd started an ambitious program through the auspices of the Pirchei Shoshanim organization.  Namely a smicha program for those that did not grow up in Torah centers, as well a curriculum to learn for the Israeli Rabbinut exams for those with a more normal learning background.  

To do this he brought together an impressive group of Rabbanim.  Rav Don Channan, musmach of Rav Azran of the Eidah, Rabbinut, Rav Deri, Rav Messas, and Rav Ovadia Yosef.  Rav Dovid Ostroff, musmach of Rav S.Z. Auerbach, Rav Halberstam, Rabbanut, Rav Goldberg, Rav Meir Shtern and Rav Shternbuch.  There was Rav Ezra Bloch musmach of Rav S.Z Auerbach, Rav Shach and Rav Kotler.  Rav Shalom Gold of Jerusalem, Rav Yitzchak Tzvi Oshinski ect... and the list of impressive Chareidi Rabbanim continues to go on.  The program quickly received endorsement of some prominent Rabbinic figures such as Rav Ezriel Auerbach, Rav Ovadia Yosef, and Rav Lau.

Under this umbrella the program grew, expanded, spawned Kollelim in Brooklyn, Lakewood, Philadelphia, Toronto, Dallas, Las Vegas, LA, Beit Shemesh and Jerusalem.  They have taught thousands of students, awarded hundreds of smichas, and sponsored dozens of chaplains to the US military.  A kashrut organization was started, serving odd places in Eastern Europe that even provided chassidishe shechitah.  That was all in the first ten years.
Then two years ago the first rumblings of trouble began.  Accusations of fraud arose against Rabbi Fishel Todd.  Moral turpitude that simply does not belong in a Rosh Yeshiva.  As the accusations proved more substantial the Vaad HaRabbanim of the Yeshiva asked Rav Fishel Todd to step down.  He did not.  As a result many of the great Rabbanim that started with the Pirchei Shoshanim program were quietly "laid off".  Now their Rabbinic staff is a shadow of its formal self.

Then last week Rav Fishel Todd plead guilty in US Federal court, as part of a plea deal that would keep him from further prosecution surrounding that particular fraud.  Meanwhile accusations have arisen of another alleged fraud against Ball State University, as there are accusations arising of him allegedly giving out fake smichas.

In the midst of this there are many questions that need to be answered.  What is the future of Yeshivat Pirchei Shoshanim, if any?  What about the various alumni, now serving as Rabbanim around the world based on their YPS Smicha?  What of the various chaplains that they have endorsed?

Unfortunately the students of Yeshivat Pirchei Shoshanim have been left in the dark.  Not a single message has gone out explaining what has happened, what is happening, or what the future holds.  For those who have Smicha from them this is obviously a great fear.  With the accusations arising of allegedly giving fake smicha's will their own continue to have any worth?  For those who are simply using their materials to augment their normal Kollel learning to prepare for the Rabbanut exams, considering the price of their progams, the question remains will they continue or has their monetary investment been lost?

It seems clear that Pirchei owes its students some answers.  The Rabbinical staff, including, perhaps even especially, those that left, owe their students some answers.  Leaving them in the lurch is simply not Derech Eretz, it is not the way Rabbanim with stacks of Smichas from prominent Chareidi Gedolim should act.  The splash damage from this could very well be incredible.
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Asbury Park Press An Ocean County attorney Tuesday admitted his role in a scheme that defrauded investors in connection with a Facebook IPO and several real estate deals, according to Paul J. Fishman, the U.S. Attorney for New Jersey.

Fred Todd, 61, of Lakewood, pleaded guilty before U.S. District Judge Joel A. Pisano in federal court to an information charging him with one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and one count of transacting in criminal proceeds.

Todd is an attorney with offices in Seaside Heights and Los Angeles. His two co-defendants, Eliyahu Weinstein, 39, of Lakewood, and Aaron Glucksman, 41, of Brooklyn, New York, already pleaded guilty to charges related to their roles in the scheme.


Weinstein, already convicted and sentenced to 22 years in prison in a separate Ponzi scheme, pleaded guilty on Sept. 3 to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud, one count of committing wire fraud while on pretrial release, and one count of money laundering. He is scheduled to be sentenced on Dec. 15. [...]
=================================================
For more background on Rabbi Todd's role in selecting military chaplains see Lakewood Scoop    and as coordinator of a major semicha program see Lakewood Scoop 



Additional information is found on   Zoominfo
Rabbi Fishel Todd Esq. is a well renown international Tax Attorney a member of the California Bar and Senior Partner of Todd, Ferentz, Edelstein and Hugo with offices in California, Boston, New York, Baltimore and Florida. He is the founder and International Executive Director of Yeshiva Pirchei Shoshanim and the owner of shemayisrael.com, one of the most popular jewish websites in the world.
Rabbi Todd as well is the founder of the Shulchan Aruch Project which encompasses thousands of students from around the world. Many of these students have gone on to achieve Smicha with Yeshiva Pirchei Shoshanim. These now Rabbanim have earned positions throughout the entire planet. Encompassed in these milestone projects is the commentary on Shulchan Aruch which provides the engine that powers the Pirchei Shoshanim and the Shema Yisrael Torah Network. The commentary includes the areas of Issur V'Heter, Shabbos, Eruvin, Choshen Mishpat, Kiddushin and many more other areas too numerous to mention.
Rabbi Todd whose parents were holocaust survivors and saw to it that despite the horrors that they lived through they were insistent on sending him to a Jewish school in the then small town of Lakewood, NJ where there was one such school. From there Rabbi Todd learned and graduated from the honors program at Boston College which armed him with a formal secular learning that disciplined him to not only prepare for the hardest Bar Exam in the country but gave him the English skills to become the senior English Editor of Yeshiva Pirchei Shoshanim. That same structure provided the basis of the skeleton by which Yeshiva Pirchei Shoshanim rests today.
In 2006, the United States Department of Defense appointed Rabbi Todd an endorser of Jewish Chaplains to the United States Military. In an amazingly short span of time Rabbi Todd along with his Yeshiva Pirchei Shoshanim staff have endorsed over 25 Chaplains to all branches of the Military including the Army, Navy and Air Force. As Director of Chaplaincy services Pirchei Shoshanim's entrance to the military scene has caused a virtual revolution in how the entire Military views and treats Torah observant Chaplains today. The founding rabbinical leader of the project was HaRav HaGaon Leibel Berenbaum ZT"L. Prior to his untimely passing in 1995, R' Leibel ZT"L was able to take his prize Talmid, R' Fishel and mold him into perhaps one of the greatest of those who spread the Torah throughout the world. Rabbi Todd who divides his time between the Israel based headquarters of Pirchei Shoshanim, California and Lakewood is married to the former Einat Feld, whose father the late Shlomo Feld a''h also a holocaust survivor was of the greatest architect's in Israel. Included was his greatest project Boys Town in Jerusalem which he designed under the watchful eye of its founder HaRav Lenchner who himself was a student of the Chofetz Chaim and son in law of Shraga Feivel Mendelovitz. Rabbi Todd along with Rabbi Lankry have set their sights and creativity on spreading Shulchan Aruch to all the High School and College students in the Country.
Rabbi Fishel Todd ...
www.shemayisrael.com, 10 Dec 2012 [cached]
Rabbi Fishel Todd
Legal Credits Course
www.legalcredits.com, 21 Sept 2006 [cached]
The senior editor of the program is Rabbi Fishel Todd who is an Ordained Rabbi and a member of the California Bar with over 20 years of legal experience.

R Eliezer Berland - arrested and released in Holland - fighting extradition to Israel

Arutz7   Authorities in Holland released Rabbi Eliezer Berland last week, but his passport has been confiscated, pending a decision on his extradition back to Israel. He was arrested at Amsterdam Airport on September 11 at the request of Israeli authorities. 

Berland, the founder and head of the Shuvu Banim community located in the Old City of Jerusalem, is suspected of a number of sexual assaults against women. He has been considered a fugitive since fleeing Israel two years ago, when allegations first surfaced and he was asked to come in for questioning. The arrest in Amsterdam was made at the request of the Israeli State Attorney's international department, using a warrant, issued by police unit Lahav 433, through Interpol. 

"I have no clue. It's all rumors spread over the past ten years," Rabbi Berland stated to Channel 10 news. "No proof exists. The police (in Amsterdam) released me and told me that that all complaints against me had no foundation and no basis." 

Disregarding the pending extradition, Rabbi Berland proclaimed, "I'm finished with the land of Israel. It is a country of Hamas for me." [...]

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

After 14 years, Israeli woman wins religious divorce - from homosexual husband

update - just added Igros Moshe (E.H IV 113) regarding the need for a get if husband is a homosexual

Times of Israel   Ashkenazic Chief Rabbi David Lau intervened to help a woman obtain a religious divorce after a 14-year wait.

The woman discovered 14 years ago that her husband was having a homosexual relationship with a Filipino caregiver. The woman immediately filed for divorce in the Jerusalem Rabbinical Court.

The Supreme Rabbinical Court then attempted to broker a deal under which the husband would agree to the divorce if she paid him 18 percent of a jointly owned apartment. The woman refused, according to The Jerusalem Post, insisting that she should not have to buy a bill of divorce from her husband.

In a hearing of the Supreme Rabbinical Court last week, Lau, who sat on the panel, over five hours convinced the husband to drop his claim to part of the apartment and to grant the bill of the get if the wife dropped her claim in Family Court. [...]



שו"ת אגרות משה אבן העזר חלק ד סימן קיג

מי שלאחר נישואיו נודע שהוא שטוף במשכב זכר אם הוא מק"ט =מקח טעות=.

י' סיון תשל"ח מע"כ ידידי הרה"ג מוהר"ר שמואל טובי' שטערן.

הנה ראיתי את כל קונטרסו במה שרוצה כתר"ה לחלק בין דורות אלו לדורות הקדמונים ממה שרואין שהנשים בדורות אלו מקפידין עוד יותר במומין דהאיש ממה שמקפידין האנשים במומי הנשים, הנה אף ששייך לומר סברא כזו קשה לעשות מעשה כי הרי גם בזמן הגמ' מצינו דהנשים לא היו מתרצות אלא למי שהחשיבוהו להגון להן כדאשכחן בכמה מקומות, כהא דבכתובות דף כ"ב ע"א שהיתה נאמנת האשה שאמרה לאיזה בני אדם שקפצו עליה לקדשה ואמרה א"א אני ואח"כ עמדה וקידשה את עצמה שהאמינו לה באמתלא שלאלו שאמרה בתחלה א"א אני היה זה שקר משום שלא רצתה להנשא להן שהיו אינם מהוגנים ולאיש זה שנתקדשה הוא הגון, ואם חזקה הוא שהאשה בכל דהו ניחא לה לא היו מאמינים לה, דהא לא משמע שאנשים שלא רצתה בהם היו גרועין כאלו שאף סתם אשה לא היתה רוצה דלאנשים כאלו לא היתה צריכה לשקר ולומר שהיא א"א אלא לא היתה בושה לומר להם שאינה רוצית בהן אלא ודאי שהיו אנשים חשובין בעצם והיתה חוששת שאינשי מכיריה וקרוביה ישתדלו לפייסה שתנשא לאחד מהן או הם עצמם יפצרו בה עד שתתרצה, ומ"מ היתה נאמנת שהוא רק מחמת שלא לכל אדם אשה רוצה להתקדש אף שלפי דעת אינשי היו הגונים לה, וגם משמע שעבר הרבה זמן עד שנתקדשה למי שהיתה סבורה שהוא הגון לה וחפצה והיה לה לחוש שיעבור זמן יותר גדול ומ"מ לא רצתה לינשא לאלו שרצו בה, אך אפשר לדחות דאשה זו שהיתה גדולה בנוי שאני שלכן האמינו לה שלא רצתה בהן משום שהיה ברור לה שיזדמן מי שירצה בה איש כזה שגם היא תרצה בו ביותר ותאמר שזה הגון לה, ומה שליכא חלוק לכל הדינים שהוא מטעם דר"ל דטב למיתב טן דו הוא משום לא פלוג ולא ניתן הדבר לשיעורין ורק לענין אמתלא זו שייך לחלק משום דכל אמתלא אינה שוה לכל הנשים ובהכרח מיפלגו כל אחת באמתלא השייך לה.

אבל הא א"ר יהודה אמר רב ואמרי לה ר"א אסור לאדם שיקדש את בתו כשהיא קטנה עד שתגדל ותאמר בפלוני אני רוצה כדאיתא בקידושין דף מ"א ע"א, והרי האב ברובא דרובא פעמים מקדש את בתו לראוי והגון לה ומ"מ אסרו מטעם דשמא אם היתה גדולה לא היתה מתרצית, ואם הנשים היו בזמן ההוא מתרצות בבעל כ"ד לא היה שייך לאסור להאב לקדש את בתו בשביל איזה חשש רחוק, אלא ודאי גם בזמנם רוב הנשים לא היו מתקדשות אלא למי שחושבות שהוא יותר טוב להן אך מ"מ היו נמצאות איזה נשי שהיו מתרצות אף לבעל כ"ד, שלכן כשעשתה שליח לקדש אף כשלא ראתהו לא חיישינן שמא תחזור בה וליכא איסורא מחשש שמא יתגנה עליה כדכתבו שם התוס' דהרי חזינן שהיא מן המיעוט שלא קפדי כל כך, וכן הוא בקידושין דף ז' ע"א דאשה ניחא לה להתקדש בקנין כל דהוא דלכן לא היינו יודעין מדמקודשת בתן מנה לפלוני ואקדש אני לך ובתן מנה לפלוני ואקדש אני לו ובהילך מנה ואקדש אני לך גם בקנין כסף דשדה שג"כ הוא משום דאמרה בעצמה זה, אבל באמת תמוה שם מה שמביא הגמ' הא דר"ל דברור לנו אדרבה שרובא דרובא נשי לא איכפת להו במה שמקדשין אותה, ומפורש ברמ"א אה"ע סימן ל"א סעי' ב' גם נוהגין לכסות פני הכלות הצנועות ואינן מקפידות במה מקדש אותן שא"כ אין זה מהא דר"ל דטב למיתב טן דו שכשרות וצנועות שאין מקפידות במה מקדשין אותן מקפידות שלא לינשא אלא להגון להן, ובלא זה הא אף מדינא דגמרא חייב אדם ליתן נדוניא לבתו כדי שיקפצו עליה ואף עני המשיא את בתו תנן בכתובות דף ס"ז ע"א דלא יפחות לה מחמשים זוז ואף מכיס של צדקה אין פוחתין מחמשים זוז וכשיש להאב הוא עישור נכסים וגם מצדקה מוסיפין כשיש בכיס שא"כ ודאי אם לא היה דין התורה שצריך כסף לקנין קידושין לא היתה אף אשה אחת שתרצה שיתנו לה כסף שאף דינר אינו כלום נגד הנדוניא והוצאות החתונה ורק מגזה"כ הוא נותן לה כסף והיא מקבלת הכסף, ורק מאחר שחייבה התורה שיתן לה כסף יש שמקפידות מצד כבוד בעלמא שיתן לה דבר השוה הרבה וע"ז כתב הרמ"א שכשרות וצנועות לא יקפידו על זה, וא"כ אף בלא דר"ל ידוע שכל עשיית הקידושין בכסף הוא רק משום שצריך קנין ולא מפני שהאשה אינה רוצה להתקדש ולכן ברור שאם רוצה להתקדש במה שיתן לפלוני ובהנאה דקבלת אדם חשוב מקודשת אבל במכירת שדה שכל הענין הוא בשביל קבלת כסף לא היינו יודעין ובהכרח צריך לומר דליותר פשיטותא הביא הגמ' מהא דר"ל ועדיין צע"ק בזה.

אך מצינו שלהתגרש לא ניחא לנשי כל כך בהא דמזכה גט במקום קטטה ביבמות דף קי"ח ע"ב, וכן לטעמא דרבא בכתובות דף ע"ה ע"א איכא חלוק דהאיש מקפיד שלא יאסר בקרובות דאשה חשובה והאשה לא איכפת לה אם תאסר בקרובים דאדם החשוב משום דקפידא זו להניח בעל זה בשביל קפידא על בעל זה שלא נזהר בנדרים אף שהתירם מחמת שתאסר לשנים ושלשה אינשי שלא ידוע לה שהם ירצו בה, והאיש שג"כ אין טעם שיניח אשה חשובה זו בשביל ספק שתים ושלש נשי דיאסר בהן דאפשר שהן לא יתרצו להנשא לו שצריך לומר שהוא מגאות האיש שחושב שודאי יתרצו, הגאוה כזו ליכא לנשי שחוששות יותר לשמא לא ירצו בה מכפי האיש, אבל בעצם גם בזמנם היו רוב נשי מקפידות מלינשא אלא לאנשים שחושבות שהם הגונים להן, אבל מ"מ חששו יותר בנשי שיותר מתרצות מבאינשי א"כ גם בזה"ז אין לסמוך לומר שנשתנה.

אבל לענין נ"ד כיון שמצינו שבמום גדול הוא בעצם מקח טעות גם באשה כדבארתי באג"מ חאה"ע ח"א סימן ע"ט וסימן פ' מסתבר שזה דהבעל הוא שטוף במשכב זכור שהוא התועבה היותר גדולה והמאוס ביותר והוא דבר גנאי לכל המשפחה, וכ"ש שיהיה זה גנאי ביותר לאשתו אם בעלה בוחר יותר במשכב המאוס הזה תחת משכב אשתו הוא ודאי קידושי טעות וברור לן ששום אשה לא היתה מתרצית להנשא לאדם מנוול ומאוס ובזוי כזה, ואם תיכף כשנודעת מזה הלכה ממנו מסתבר שאם אי אפשר להשיג גט ממנו יש להתירה מדין קידושי טעות, אך אם אפשר להשיג גט צריך להשתדל בכל מאי דאפשר להשיג גט כשר, דהא אם אינו שטוף בזה אלא שנזדמן איזה פעם מצד שתקפו יצרו אולי אין להחשיב זה לקידושי טעות אף שהוא רשע גמור גם בשביל פעם אחת ויש שיטעו לדמות להחשיב גם זה קידושי טעות, אבל אם הוא שטוף בזה שיותר נהנה ממשכב זכור ממשכב נשים הוא ודאי קידושי טעות, אבל כל זה אם הלכה ממנו תיכף אבל אם שהתה אצלו אף אחר שנודעת אז קשה לבטל הקידושין. ואם בא זה מענין שטות מאחר שהוא שלא כדרך הטבע ודאי הוא מום דכיון שהוא מצד שטות עלול לעוד שטותים, אבל בעצם הוא מצד רשעות וניוול שג"כ הוא טעות כדלעיל.

והנני ידידו, משה פיינשטיין.