Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ropshitzer:Explaining shelo asani isha - to his wife

The Ropshitzer Rebbetzin was an intelligent, educated woman who was not at all reluctant to challenge her husband in matters of halacha or Chasidus. One day, she asked him to explain the meaning of the daily brocho shelo asani isha where men bless Hashem for not having been created as women. What disturbed her particularly was the notion that that there were many ignorant, boorish men who had no knowledge of the Torah, but who apparently were given the opportunity each day when saying this brocho to arrogantly claim that they were "better" than women, all women, even a woman such as she. who was so obviously on a higher spiritual and educational level than they. The Ropshitzer assured her that she needn't feel inferior to any of these men by virtue of this brocho. When each man says shelo asani isha in the morning, the woman he is referring to as the object of his gratitude is none other than his own wife. While he may feel somewhat superior to her when uttering those words, upon further introspection he will realize that he is offering thanks for not having been the wife, with a spouse such as he.
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9 comments :

  1. AnonymousJune 24, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    You can't really take this as more than a cute answer, surely?

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    1. Daas TorahJune 24, 2012 at 4:41 PM

      Some people probably consider this to be a genuine answer

      Delete
    2. AbeJune 24, 2012 at 5:22 PM

      In a nutshell, the Ropshitzer is telling him to be humble even though he is greater.

      Delete
  2. Jersey GirlJune 24, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    He is sitting in shul while she is cooking, cleaning, dealing with the children, etc. Do we really have to wonder why any man is thankful not to be a woman? Especially if he is sitting and learning and she is working in addition to everything else.

    The only time I wonder about shelo asani isha is when it is 0 degrees out and the man has to go to shul while his wife gets to stay inside the nice warm house.

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  3. MarkJune 24, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I saw this in print many years ago in the name of R Yehosuah Leib Diskin.

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  4. yeshayaJune 24, 2012 at 6:31 PM

    This is a nice interpretation, but I think the original explanation (that men have more miztvos) should suffice. Shelo Asani Isha is not a statement of superiority -- it is a statement of gratitude for being required in quantitatively more mitzvos. This is a good thing for men to do because it enhances appreciation of each opportunity to do a mitzvah, rather than feeling weighed down by them (as many men might be inclined to do, particularly at the beginning of shacharit on a day they are tired). It does not mean men are "greater" -- even if women are responsible for fewer mitzvos, that does not mean they have fewer opportunities to perform mitzvos and other maasim tovim such as bestowing kindness. After all, "everything is in accordance with the preponderance of deeds." (Avos).

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  5. LazerAJune 25, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    I was once giving a class for non-Orthodox adults on the brocha of shelo asani isha (part of an ongoing series on birchos hashachar). Of course, I was a bit nervous going in, given the sensitivity of the topic, and I was discussing the various ways the brocha is understood. In any event, one lady, about my age, early thirties at the time, says, "It seems pretty simple to me. It is easier to be a man than to be a woman. Of course they should be grateful."

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    1. AJune 25, 2012 at 5:09 PM

      Easier being a housewife than being a 50 hour/week working man? Nice apologetics.

      Delete
  6. new p'shatJune 25, 2012 at 8:58 PM

    Its one thing to be frum, a frummi, a modernah, a leftist or a brisker etc. But to be the wife of a brisker, frummi or moderna etc that takes a lot of energy and a lot 'out of her'.(kosher my chickens - hold my hand in the street - uncover the front of your hair - wear bullet proof stocking with a seam etc).
    Sheloy asani isha - I'm crazy - for me its easy, but for the her - its hell.

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