https://mishpacha.com/were-only-addressing-half-the-problem/
The first assumption about abuse in the Jewish community was that the
abuse ran in only one direction, and female perpetrators and male
victims of domestic abuse were virtually nonexistent. Prominent Jewish
writers, echoed by many others in the field, asserted that 95 percent of
victims of physical abuse in a marriage are women and only 5 percent
are men — a 16:1 ratio.
However, this belief turned out not to be substantiated, as study
after study has shown that women are perpetrators of domestic abuse at
rates comparable to men. Furthermore, the belief that patriarchal views
explained most instances of domestic abuse turned out to be false. Many
of the most rigorous studies suggest that other factors, such as
individual personality characteristics, impulse control, and life
stressors have much more to do with domestic violence than do
patriarchal beliefs of men in society.
For too long the Jewish community has denied the painful reality of
male domestic abuse victims and the catastrophic outcomes — for the men
as well as their children — that the abuse inflicts. Unfortunately, some
men turn to alcohol or substance abuse. Some struggle with suicidality.
These maladaptive responses to their anguish tend to feed negative
stigmas that our society has toward men, who instead deserve compassion
as victims of domestic abuse.
The Jewish community can do better. It must do better. The effects of
domestic abuse, whether the victim is a woman or a man, can be
catastrophic, and ignoring this reality costs families and communities
dearly. Over the past 30 years, the Jewish community has done an
incredible job of addressing half of this problem. The time has come to
stop ignoring the other half.
