Rabbi Grylak's problematic editorial "The Wise will keep silent"

 Update 10/29/13 Mishpacha "How Was That Red Line Crossed?"

Unfortunately Rabbi Grylak has failed miserably to follow his own advice in the editorial that I criticized below.   In his latest editorial at the above link he accuses Nati Grossman of incitement against Rav Steinman with the result he was physically attacked. This outrageous slander is a clear example of someone throwing gasoline on a fire - while proclaiming he is only trying to reduce the fighting. I was told that there will be a lawsuit against Rabbi Grylak as a result of his accusations.

 He writes in the above editorial

Of course, that the deranged individual who burst into Rav Aharon Leib Steiman’s home and attacked him will be presented by the enemies of Rav Steinman (yes, the 100-year-old sage has enemies that go beyond the far-reaching dispute over the leadership of the chareidi community) as a bizarre, mentally unstable individual who acted independently. They will certainly argue, in their own defense, that an entire community cannot be indicted for the actions of a single individual. They will certainly claim that this man does not represent the community of voters who threw their support behind the alternative “Eitz” chareidi party. And I agree with them. Heaven forbid that real bnei Torah could think of committing such a dreadful act. But at the same time, he is not a person suffering from a psychological illness. Rather, he is a person who has been incited to violence. [...]

 My friends, despite the litany of accusations and curses that have been hurled against Rav Steinman, we cannot blame the Eitz voters for this travesty. But there is one person who cannot escape responsibility, one man who has made it his mission in life to besmirch Rav Aharon Leib Steinman’s name. Over the years, he has led a campaign against the gadol hador in various ways and with an assortment of strategies. This past year, he crossed all red lines with a series of slanderous pashkevilim and pamphlets, reaching a nadir that has never been seen in the history of disputes between the gedolei hador. He was totally focused on his goal of defaming this person, this man whose word is heeded by the majority of the Torah world, this man who is a bulwark of support for so many of us, the gadol whose exclusive counsel was sought by Rav Elyashiv ztz”l. [...]

 Yet my successor at Yated, Nati Grossman, made sure to constantly attack anyone who didn’t march to his beat. That is part of his nature. But in his most recent battle, he has sunk to unprecedented depths, to the point that a single avreich, who was affected by his incitement and taken in by his slander and lies, simply got up and committed the unthinkable. May Hashem have mercy on us, on all of us, on the entire Jewish people.

update Kikar Shabbat

התגובה של נתי גרוסמן

פנינו לנתי גרוסמן כדי לקבל את תגובתו לדברים שפורסמו ב'משפחה', אך הוא בחר לחזור אלינו באמצעות פרקליטו, עו"ד אורי הברמן, שמאיים בהגשת תביעת דיבה תוך שהוא מציין במכתבו כי האשמות נגד גרוסמן נועדו להשפילו בעיני הבריות, לעשותו מטרה לשנאה, לבוז וללעג בקרב הציבור החרדי.

עו"ד הברמן מוסיף וקובע במכתבו כי "מעשיו של התוקף נעשו על רקע חוליו הנפשי ועל רקע זה בלבד", ומציין כי "התוקף מוכר כאחד ממעריציו של רה"י הגראי"ל שטיינמן ונמנה בין תומכי יהדות התורה, כך שאין המדובר בתוצר של הסתה".

"אין זה ראוי", מוסיף עו"ד הברמן, "לנסות ולקשור בין מעשה תקיפה על רקע נפשי ובין מרשנו ואין זה ראוי להמשיך לדוש ולהרבות את צערם של בני הציבור ובני משפחתו של התוקף כשזהו הרקע האמיתי של מעשיו". כראיה לטענתו, שטרם הובררה אף בבית המשפט, מצרף עו"ד הברמן מכתב שלטענתו נכתב על-ידי משפחתו של התוקף שמבהירים כי מדובר ב"חולשה נפשית".

עו"ד הברמן מוסיף וכותב כי ייחוס הדברים לגרוסמן, "מעיד, אם נתבטא בלשון מנומסת, על חוסר העמקה וחוסר היכרות עם דעותיו ופועלו. הרב גרוסמן, מעולם לא נקט בפגיעה כלשהיא, בכתיבתו, בפועלו ובכל דרך אחרת, בגדולי התורה ובזקני הדור בכלל ובכלל זה ברה"י הגראי"ל שטיינמן".

 ============================
 Update see Chareidi World continues to self-destruct    The following is from an editorial that Rabbi Grylak wrote for the Oct 23, 2013 Mishapacha - "The Wise Will Keep Silent". It is in regards to the harsh words that major rabbis said about each other in the recent elections in Israel. Click here for the full text

I found it troubling because he is saying don't act based on what the gedolim are saying. If one major rabbi calls another one a heretic or Amalek  - are the followers of the one critized supposed to remain silent?!  If the gadol you follow makes these criticisms - doesn't this mean that you are to view the person he criticizes differently and act differently towards him?  If Rabbi Grylak is acknowledging the validity of what the gedolim are saying - then how can he tell people not to act on what the gedolim say? Clearly the gedolim said it because that is what they think and they want their followers to take the same view. As far as I know no significant rabbinic leader has said to ignore what gedolim say - so on what authority is Rabbi Grylak saying this? On the other hand if Rabbi Grylak  feels the gedolim are wrong to speak this way - then why doesn't he say that so? In short I find his editorial position unacceptable.
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Those in the Torah camp who think they have to take sides in the most recent machlokes - thereby disparaging talmidei chachamim - would do well to remember the fate of those who fanned the flames of the most famous dispute that threatened to tear apart the Torah world two and a half centuries ago. 

Those aware of the raging machlokes over the leadership of the Torah community in Eretz Yisrael might be realizing the irreparable spiritual damage being inflicted on our society in its wake. There is no need to rehash the details of a conflagration that has pitted bochur against bochur, but suffice to say that machlokes is not an exclusively Israeli phenomenon, and even an insular split all too easily spreads across continents. So permit me to share with my overseas readers a story that vividly illustrates the tragic and devastating consequences of machlokes - a story I heard in my own youth and makes me shiver to this day. [...]

It is well-known that in the 18th century there was a deep rift between two Torah giants, Rav Yaakov Emden, also known as the Yaavetz, and Rav Yehonasan Eibeschitz. Rav Yehudah Leib Maiman, author of Sarei Hamei'ah, described the bitter, poisonous fruits of that machlokes. He writes that he was once honored with a visit by Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, who wished to avail himself of Rav Maiman's extensive library. As he passed over the shelves of sifrei halachah, he saw that two volumes, Kereti Upeleti by Rav Yehonasan and Mor U'Ketziah by the Yaavetz, stood side by side. His face lit up, and turning to Rav Maiman, he exclaimed, "If this machlokes had been confined only to the inner circle of followers of these two giants of our nation, who were crowned with the glory of the holy and pure, then surely these two geonim would have made peace in their lifetime. But unfortunately, the Satan succeeded in getting the rank and file involved, people of lesser caliber, whose only intention was to provoke a fight, and these people injected poison into the disagreement and expanded the rift." 

Then Rav Kook, with an air of heartbreak, told Rav Maimon the following: "I heard this story from my father-in-law, the tzaddik Rav Eliyahu Dovid Rabinowitz-Teumim, the rav of Yerushalayim, about the sad end of one of those who dishonored Rav Yehonasan:" Rav Kook told his host. "It is a chilling story that underscores the warning of our Sages: Be careful of their glowing coals, lest you be burned, for their bite is the bite of a fox, their sting is the sting of a scorpion, and their hiss is the hiss of a venomous snake ... 

"[... A woman related that she was the daughter of the] apostate who authored a book called Nesivos Olam [not to be confused with the holy book by the Maharal of the same name], a libelous attack on Torah Judaism and its alleged hatred of Christianity [...]"[Eventually]This man did indeed return to his people  [...the following is what he told his daughter]

[...]My father was among those who stood at the side of Rav Yaakov Emden and instigated the war against Rav Yehonasan Eibeschitz, the rav of Altona. Many of the venomous attacks against Rav Yehonasan were written by my father, who was very gifted with words. In fact the book Akitzas Akrav (Altona 5513), which is full of scathing words and mockery against Rav Yehonasan and which is attributed to the Yaavetz himself, was actually written by my father. He finished writing it on the day of my bris, and the joy in our home was redoubled. All the guests saw it as a good omen and predicted a shining future for me. And my father told me that the Yaavetz gave both him and me this brachah: "May your newborn son merit to be raised in the spirit of the sefer you've just completed, and like you, may he too oppose the views and teachings of that man (i.e., Rav Yehonasan) -who calls himself the av beis din of Altona

"'And now you see [...]that the brachah of the Yaavetz, along with the hope and belief of Rav Yehonasan was  fulfilled in me [....] I have sinned and done damage beyond repair, and where am I now going?'[...] 

Yes, a frightening tale. Is there anything to add? 

Only this: Hamaskil ba'eis hahi yidom. One who is wise will be silent at such a time. Very silent.

Pediatricians: No More than 2 Hours Screen-Time Daily for Kids

Scientific American    Children should be limited to less than two hours of entertainment-based screen time per day, and shouldn't have TVs or Internet access in their bedrooms, according to new guidelines from pediatricians.

The new policy statement was released by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) today (Oct. 28) in the journal Pediatrics.

The average 8-year-old spends eight hours a day using various forms of media, and teenagers often surpass 11 hours of media consumption daily, according to the authors of the AAP statement. More than three quarters of teenagers have cell phones, and teens ages 13 to 17 send an average of 3,364 texts per month. 

Several studies have linked high media consumption with poor health outcomes. For example, children with TVs in their bedrooms are more likely to be obese. [...]

In addition to limiting all entertainment screen time — including TV, the Internet and various smart devices — to less than two hours daily, the guidelines recommend children under age 2 get no screen time. [...]

Children shouldn't have Internet access or televisions in their rooms, because that makes it too hard for parents to monitor kids' media use, Strasburger said.

"If you have a 14-year-old son and he has an Internet connection in his bedroom, I guarantee you, he's looking at pornography," Strasburger told LiveScience.[...]

The Talmud: Why has a Jewish law book become so popular?

BBC   When someone asked Einstein, shortly before his death, what he would do differently if he could live his life again, he replied without hesitation: "I would study the Talmud."

It contains the foundations of Halakha - the religious laws that dictate all aspects of life for observant Jews from when they wake in the morning to when they go to sleep at night. Every imaginable topic is covered, from architecture to trapping mice. To a greater extent than the other main Jewish holy book, the Torah, the Talmud is a practical book about how to live. [...]

When the commuters of Long Island struggle over a difficult passage of Talmud, they know that tens of thousands of Jews all over the world are on the same page. And when he travels abroad, Eliezer Cohen can usually find a local group to continue his studies. On one trip to Jerusalem, he even encountered a man who, like him, taught the daily reading on his way to work (although on a bus, rather than a train). [...]

Sandusky abuse settlement costs Penn State over $100 million

Fox News      Penn State has announced that it is paying $59.7 million to 26 young men to settle claims of child sexual abuse at the hands of former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky.

The university said it had concluded negotiations that have lasted about a year. [...]

Penn State has spent more than $50 million on other costs related to the Sandusky scandal, including lawyers' fees, public relations expenses, and adoption of new policies and procedures related to children and sexual abuse complaints. [...]

Tractate Shkalim and the Chassidic/Misnagdim Divide

Five Towns Jewish Times By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

As students of Jewish history know, Jews have lived under three very different groups of Christians.  When the Roman Empire fell in 476 CE, Christianity was soon to split in half.  The Byzantine Empire which lasted another thousand years after the fall of Rome developed into the Eastern Orthodox church. The Roman Catholic Church also developed independently and soon began to wield significant temporal power as well.   Only in the latter sixteenth century did a non-Catholic third type of Christianity emerge from the western change, inspired by Martin Luther.  Jews, for centuries a weak minority in the exile, have had to navigate their way between these three different types of Christianity.

THE PRINTINGS OF SHAS

In the mid-sixteenth century, the Roman Catholic Church set its eyes upon blocking the Talmud and began its program of systematically burning copies of it.  Notwithstanding the technological advances brought about by Guttenberg and his press, the printing of Shas was limited and curtailed.

But the Torah Jew would not give up.

Jews were aware that in the Byzantine Empire, the Talmud could still be printed and they utilized the Shas that their Byzantine brethren were printing in the presses of Salonika and Constantinople.  Soon though, opportunity opened when Polish kings defied the hand of the Polish Church, and the Shas was allowed to be published in the city of Cracow.  It was published twice, and unedited by the Catholic Church’s censors – in 1602-1605 and 1616-1620.  The Chmielnicki massacres soon took place, but within the next century a further edition of the Talmud was published in Amsterdam. Two more editions were printed in Germany, now that the Germanic lands were no longer under the control of the Catholic Church.

THE SLAVUTA SHAS
Jewish history and Jewish Talmudic study continued to flow.  The Chassidic movement was born, and soon the Pale of Settlement developed.  A new edition of Shas was to emerge. The Slavuta press founded by a son of Rav Pinchas of Koretz, a prominent Talmid of the Baal Shem Tov, at the turn of the century in the Ukraine, arose.  His name was Rabbi Moshe Shapira and three editions of the Talmud ensued. Rav Pinchas Koretz was a descendant of the Megaleh Amukos, and his son too was steeped in in-depth study of the Talmud.  Slavuta was in the Ukraine between the Chasidic capitals of Lvov and Kiev.  Rabbi Shapira’s printing of the Talmud Bavli in Slavuta also included the Yerushalmi’s tractate Shkalim in 14 pages.  Shkalim is the only tractate missing in the Bavli.  The Slavuta edition was wildly popular, among a large population of fervently observant Russian Jews. A Litvish press, however, emerged in Lita.  The Romm Press soon published the Vilna Shas, and a fierce competition developed.  The Shapira’s claimed that the Romm printing house was in violation of Hasagas G’vul.  They had received a Rabbinically approved special license to be the sole publishers of the Talmud for 25 years.  Rabbonim on both sides issued rulings and letters.  The competition was to last for well over a century, even past the life span of the original Slavuta printing house.  Oh, and by the way, the Romm edition had 21 Blatt for tractate Shkalim. How did the Slavuta Press close?  A worker in the printing house, a bookbinder was found dead by the Russian authorities. It is said that this bookbinder had reported to the Russian authorities that the printing house had printed material that the government had not sanctioned. There are two versions – one has it that he was found hanging in the Shul in Slavuta, by apparent suicide.  Another version has it that he had fallen in the Slavuta Press and hit his head and died. Regardless, the Shapira’s were taken into custody and tortured severely by the Russians. 

[As a parenthetic note, the Steipler Gaon once related to a friend of this author that the bookbinder who had hung himself was the son of a once childless couple who had received a bracha from a certain Tzaddik to have children.  Ironically, the Steipler pointed out, the person who was informed upon by the bookbinder was the grandson of that Tzaddik!]

In 1836, the Czarist government closed all Jewish printing houses in Russia save two:  One in Vilna and one in Zhitomir.  The Shapira children and nephews rented the printing house in Zhitomir and were back in business by 1847 completing the printing of Shas in 1864. Romm completed another edition two years later, in 1866. The competition was in high gear.

THE BIRTH OF AGUDAH

In the early 20^th century, after Germany had conquered sections of Poland from Russia, the German government asked some of its German Jewish citizens for advice and assistance in now to administer such sections as Warsaw, now under German control.  One such expert was Ludwig Haas, a Reform Jew and member of the German Reichstag who had succeeded in doing away with traditional Jewish education and implementing far-reaching reforms in education in his hometown of Baden Germany.  

The Polish Rabbis were very concerned and reached out to the Orthodox Jews of Germany for advice and help.  Somehow, the German government appointed to Orthodox Jewish experts two assist them, Rabbi Dr. Pinchas Cohn and Rabbi Emanuel Carlebach.  These two individuals, litvaks, reached out to Polish Jewry and helped them organize.  

Thus, Agudath Israel in Poland, started by two litvisha Jews in Germany and backed by the Gerrer Rebbe and others, was born.  Agudath Israel of Poland was a remarkable experiment.  It combined the organizational and logistical talent of German Jewry – decidedly Litvish with the masses of voters that Chassidish Jewry would bring to the table.  

Soon Agudath Israel of Poland morphed into a political party in the newly formed Second Republic of Poland.  It began to take an active role in ensuring that the secularization processes that existed in Russia and in Germany did not develop in Poland too.  The Knessiah  Gedolah held in Vienna, Austria, featured an idea by a cousin of the Shapiras, an idea embraced by none other than the Chofetz Chaim himself.

Rav Meir Shapiro introduced the idea of Daf Yomi.  And in its initial form, it too included tractate Shkalim.  But which version?  Would the Agudah sponsored program adopt the litvisha Romm version of 21 blatt, or the Chassidish version of 14 blatt?

At first the answer would seem to be obvious.  Poland was teeming with burgeoning numbers of Chassidic Jews.  The founder of the Daf Yomi, Rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Chochmei Lublin, was a cousin of the Slavuta/Zhitomir owners.  So, yes, the Daf Yomi had 14 blatt allotted for Shkalim. Of that, there was no question.

But soon, the Nazis y”sh devastated Poland, wiping out more than 90 percent of Polish Jewry - more so than in any other country.  

A half century after the very first Knessiah Gedolah had passed.  Polish Jewry was no more.  The once mighty Yeshiva of Chachmei Lubin was now gone, and its building was used by the medical school in Lublin, Poland.  

And tractate Shkalim?  

In an era before the Artscroll Schottenstein and the Mesivta Gemorah, 14 blatt was just too much.  In 1975, after seven cycles, the Daf Yomi commission of Agudah, I am told with the approval of the Chassidish Gedolim, changed Shkalim to 21 blatt. 

Slavuta had lost its final battle.

The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@gmail.com

Rashi claims that gossiper was given a meal if he was believed?!

Rashi asserts that a gossiper was given a meal as acknowledgement that what he said was believed. He bases this on Targum. However Ramban and Maharal reject this assertion and claim that Rashi is based on a mistaken reading of Targum.

Rashi(Vayikra 19:16): Do not spread gossip – ...The Targum says our verse should be understood in Aramaic as "you shall not eat the food of winking" (lo saychul kurtzin). We find this understanding in Daniel (3:8), "And they ate their food of winking concerning the Jews [i.e., they informed against the Jews]. And in Berachos (58a), "He ate the food of winking concerning him to the king's palace" [i.e., he informed against him to the king]. The reason that "eating the food of winking" is understood as lashon harah apparently is because it was the practice in those days for the gossip or slanderer to eat something in the house of the one who listened to him as a sign that his words had been accepted as true. This symbolic meal was called "achilas kurtzin" where "kurtzin" is referring to an unfaithful man who winks with his eyes (Mishlei 6:13). That is because it is typical of gossipers to wink with their eyes to the listener and thereby indicating that he is speaking in a negative manner about someone so that others who might overhear the conversation will not realize what he is saying.

רמב"ן (יט:טז) לא תלך רכיל בעמך -ואין במה שפירש בתרגום הזה טעם או ריח, כי השומע מן הרכיל לא ישבע לו שיאמין דבריו ולא יתן לו אות ומופת, גם המלשין עבד אל אדוניו לא יבטיחנו האדון שישמע אליו, ומה טעם לאכילה הזאת. ונבוכדנאצר בהודאת [בהוראת] הצדיקים עשה מה שעשה, לא האכילם למלשינים ולא נשבע להם, וגם לא האמין להם אבל שאל הצדא שדרך מישך וגו' (דניאל ג יד), וצוה שישתחוו מכאן ואילך והיה מעביר על מה שעברו. ודריוש לא היה מאכיל לו למלשיני דניאל רק לענה וראש, וכתוב בהן די אכלו קרצוהי די דניאל. ואפילו אם אמת הדבר שיעשה כן בזמנים ההם, אחר שהכתוב אמר "לא תלך רכיל בעמך" למה יזכיר אונקלוס מנהג השטות ההוא ואין לאזהרה ענין בו:

אבל עיקר לשון הארמית בכאן איננו אלא לשון השמעת קול, והוא מורגל בדברי חכמים (ב"ב ה א), ועיזא לאו אכלויי מכלו ליה ולאו גברא בעי לאכלויי, ותרגום יונתן קרא בגרון (ישעיה נח א), אכלי, ושרק לו מקצה הארץ (שם ה כו), ויכלי ליה, וינהום עליו כנהמת ים (שם שם ל), ויכלי עליהון, וכן במקומות רבים. והנה הוא לשון כל משמיע קול שיודיע חפצו בלא חתוך מלות, ולכן יאמר כן בצועק לעזים הנכנסות בשדה ויתרגם כן השורק והנוהם והצועק. ודרך הרכילים לבא ברבים או לפני המושל וינהמו בגרונם ויקרצו בעיניהם לרמוז כי שמעו דברים עד שיפצרו בהם ויגידו אותן, על כן נקראים אוכלי קורצין, נוהמים ברמזים:

ואונקלוס תרגם רכילות ענינו, וכן שמו בלשון הארמית, ולא חשש לפרש לשון הכתוב וכן דרכו תמיד, כי להבין הענין הוא מתכוין. אבל בלשון הקודש היו קורין אותם "הולכי רכיל", מן אבקת רוכל (שה"ש ג ו), רכלתך (יחזקאל כו יב), כי הרוכל הולך כל היום קונה מכאן ומכאן והולך ומוכר במקומות אחרים בכאן ובכאן, כמו שמזכירין חכמים (מעשרות פ"ב מ"ג) רוכלין המחזירין בעיירות. וזה טעם "בעמך", כי הוא הולך ברבים. ולהבדיל בין שניהם, היה שם זה "רוכל" פועל, ושם זה "רכיל" שם תואר בעצמו כמו סריס נזיר, ירמוז השם כי בנפשו הוא ועליו תשוב:

                                        
[מהר"ל (גור אריה ויקרא יט:טז) :לג] לאכול בבית המקבל הלעטה וכו'. דברים אלו, שאין בהם טעם, כבר השיג הרמב"ן עליו. ולפי דעתי, מה שתרגם אונקלוס 'לא תוכל קורצין', רוצה לומר שלא ימדוד לחבירו פורעניות, כי 'תוכל' הוא לשון מדידה בלשון תרגום, כמו שכתב הרמב"ן ז"ל בפרשת תרומה אצל "קשותיו ומנקיותיו" (שמות כה, כט) , והוא נמצא לרוב, 'לכי תיכול עליה כורא דמלחא' (שבת ריש ד.) . ו'קורצין' מלשון כריתה, כי בעלי רכיל המגידים לרעיהם רע על אחר, הרי הם ממלאים ומשלימים המדה עד שיביאו לו פורעניות, כי דרך בני אדם להיות מצוי ריב ביניהם, והרכיל הוא שמודד המדה עד שהיא מליאה, ואז הריב בא על ידיו, כן נראה לי:

Yair Lapid: Talk about anti-Semitism in Hungarian parliament

Self Esteem or Self Compassion

Guest post from Allan Katz   Self Esteem or Self Compassion 

It is generally accepted that a negative self esteem and self concept gets in the way of a person dealing with setbacks and failure, but the research shows that also high self esteem does not buy very much and can be very problematic. Despite the  Self Esteem research    the belief in ' self esteem ' is so engrained. Teachers and parents are told to praise and compliment kids and help their   ' self –esteem ' by reflecting on all their positive attributes. So why is ' self esteem ' problematic and what can be done instead to foster success?

The problem with fostering self esteem with praise is not because kids are over –praised or don't deserve praise – it is praise itself. Praise is a way of getting kids to experience success as a reward and esteeming of the self. Instead kids should experience success and failure as information they need to make changes or   become even   more successful. The problem with self esteem is the focus on the 'self'.

The SDT  Self Determination theory talks about 2 types of self esteem. Contingent self esteem is experienced by people who are preoccupied with questions of worth and self esteem and are strongly motivated by the desire to appear worthy to self and others. Their worth is seen as dependent on ' achievement ' and appearing in certain ways. Whether such individuals come away with positive or negative conclusions, the very fact that one's self esteem is in question, suggests a psychological vulnerability. Non- contingent self esteem characterizes people for whom self-esteem is not a concern or issue. Success and failure is experienced as information and does not implicate self –worth, even when they lead to a reevaluation of their actions and efforts. These people experience themselves on a fundamental level as worthy of esteem and love.

The psychologist Eric Fromm talks about 2 types of people -   the ' To have '  people whose self worth and esteem depends on their 'having' .It leads to people being overly attached to possessions, achievements , and relationships. ' To be '  people focus on how they experience the world rather than on having.

'To have'  people view the 'self' as an 'object' which needs to be appraised , judged and evaluated, and the more positive , the better. In contrast SDT and religion see the Self as a process where a person makes meaning of experiences and integrates and assimilates them into his personality.

The research shared by Kelly Mcgonigal describes what helps people to deal with setbacks and change and what gets in the way.The first experiment she shares deals with people who are dieting and are invited to participate in an experiment testing the effects of food on mood. Each person chooses their favorite donut, eats the whole donut and is given a big glass of water which leaves them with a full and uncomfortable feeling. This triggered feeling of guilt amongst the dieters. The question was would the feelings of guilt help dieters resist subsequent temptations?   In order to test this, the dieters were given a ' taste experiment '  - to choose their favorite candy and eat as much as they needed to in order to evaluate the taste of the candy. One of the test groups was exposed to the following message. In a very by the way fashion , they were given a 3 point message -  they were made aware of their guilt feelings of previously indulging in the donuts , they were told that it is human to error , it does not say  that there is something wrong with you , everybody indulgences here and there and thirdly – so don't be hard on yourself. The group that was exposed to the   message calling for self-compassion ate 40% of what the group who were not exposed   to the self- compassion message ate. People who are hard on themselves and have guilt feelings end up despairing, saying I can never change and what the heck and then indulgence even more.

In another study shared by  Heidi Grant Halvorson  participants who failed an initial test were given a chance to improve their scores. One group were encouraged to boost their self –esteem by affirming and validating positive qualities. Another group was encouraged to exercise self –compassion and not to be hard on  themselves. Those who took a self-compassionate view of their earlier failure studied 25% longer and scored higher on a second test, than the participants who focused on bolstering their self-esteem.

Self compassion is effective because it is non-evaluative. It allows people to look at their mistakes and flaws with kindness and understanding. People then focus on the self as a process and not as an object. You don't judge   yourself harshly nor feel the need to defensively focus on all your positive qualities in order to protect your self-esteem. Setbacks and mistakes are part of being human and essential to the learning process. When the focus is on the process, rather than achievement, the journey rather than the destination you are more likely to be more accurate in assessing your abilities and coming up with a better plan which will help you reach your destination.

People who view the self as an object react by saying ' How could "I"  ( capital I )  do that ?  have feelings of guilt and shame which get in the way, while people who said '  How could I do THAT, did not focus on the self but on their  actions and were successful in changing.

The problem with sin is not the sin itself  but what happens afterwards – not getting up and repenting. The evil inclination encourages guilt feelings as a person feels that this is the beginning of the repentance process. But these feelings end up causing despair and hopelessness which gets in the way of recovery. The verse proverbs 24:15 says that   7 times a saint falls and then he gets up. The failure is not in the falling , but not getting up.

Self compassion leads to higher levels of personal well-being, optimism and happiness less anxiety and depression.

Mindfulness and promoting the needs of autonomy, competence and relatedness help people and kids focus on the self as process.

 Mindfulness is an open non-judgmental awareness of what is happening in the present. Self esteeming and the focus on ME are just   mental constructions of the mind. In mindfulness and SDT there is no fixed concept of the self to protect or enhance, all facts are friendly and inform one's experiences and behaviors.

According to SDT, people with low self esteem are lacking in supports for and satisfactions of one or more of the basic needs of autonomy (= self direction not independence), competence and relatedness. They don't feel worthy as they are missing a sense of love, authenticity, or effectiveness. People with high contingent self esteem seek behaviors that support and reassure them that they are worthy in their eyes and others.

The paradox of self esteem of self –esteem ' If you need it , you don't have it and if you have it , you don't need it .

Rav Eliashiv: Reliability of psakim said in his name

Due to the recent discussion regarding the reliability of teshuvos said in Rav Eliashiv's name, I just noticed the following on Seforim Blog

47. ר' דוד אריה מורגנשטרן, פתחי דעת, הלכות נדה, [הלכות נדה לפרטיהן עם מקורות הדינים והכרעות הפוקסקים, ובו נתבררו בהרחבה צדדי המציאות וההלכה בנידונים רבים], 397 עמודים.

"Worth noting is the introduction of this work where the author, Rabbi Morgenstern one of Rav Elyahsiv's main students, talks about being careful about relying on the Pesakyim quoted in the name of R Elyahsiv in various recent works."

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   Rav Eliashiv - Kovetz Teshuvos from Hashakdan 

Sabbath observant meter keeps water flowing 24/7

Times of Israel   Smart metering – the ability to constantly monitor usage 24/7 – has come to the ultra-Orthodox town of Bnei Brak in central Israel. But those meters take a rest on Shabbat, thanks to an Israeli water tech company, Arad Technologies. 

“Our ‘glatt [super-kosher] water meter’ overcomes the problem of a smart water meter operating on Shabbat,” said Tal Tzur, VP Software & IT at Arad. “It allows us to install modern equipment in ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods to help save water, prevent leaks, and save money for residents.” 

It also alleviated a situation, said Tzur, in which residents of places like Jerusalem’s Mea Shearim neighborhood, Safed, and Bnei Brak were planning to do without tap water on Shabbat in order to avoid violating the sanctity of the holy day.

While water metering sounds like an old-tech industry, it is actually on the leading edge of technology. With wifi connections and GPS chips built into meters, servers can now gobble up endless reams of data about water usage. While in the old days, the water company would send out a meter-reader to see how much water a household or business used, smart monitoring technology allows the water utility to keep a constant eye out on water usage.

“Water is more expensive than ever, and ensuring a steady supply of clean water is more of a challenge, as populations grow and industry expands,” Arad vice president Rami Ziv told The Times of Israel on the sidelines of a huge WaTec (Water Technology and Environment Control) exhibition in Tel Aviv this week. “Smart metering is an important way to get water usage under control.”

With a smart meter installed at a water facility, a utility can keep an eye on field installations and get an alert if water usage goes above a certain level. The same holds true for a home user; if water usage seems too high, the utility can contact the customer and ask them if a faucet was left on accidentally, or help to uncover an unknown leak. Smart meters can also detect if someone is tampering with the water infrastructure – illegally tapping into it in order to steal water, for example.[...]

Project Innocent Heart - Dov Hikind has provided them with $950 K to fight abuse - who are they?

NY Daily News    Assemblyman Dov Hikind has quietly steered nearly $1 million in state cash to a little known orthodox Jewish group aiming to combat child abuse throughout Brooklyn’s black hat enclaves.

The controversial pol tapped Project Innocent Heart [Innocent heart website] — a Far Rockaway based organization headed by Rabbi Moshe Bak — to teach Hasidim about keeping kids safe from pedophiles, kidnappers and other criminals, according to a source with knowledge of the deal.

It's been four years since Hikind scored the $950,000 payout from the state’s Office of Family and Children's Services.

The money was first requested to fund Shomrei Yeldainu — Hebrew for “Guardians of our Children” — which nonprofit Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty was going to run.

Hikind wouldn’t return calls explaining what happened to Shomrei or why Project Innocent Heart ended up with the dough.

Met Council — whose revered executive director William Rapfogel was arrested last month in an elaborate kickback scheme — said plans were being finalized. [...]

Child safety advocates argued Project Innocent Heart is too small and too new to tackle the multigenerational, deep-rooted fear within Jewish communities involving reporting crimes to police.

“There are reputable established organizations out there,” said Ben Hirsch, a co-founder of Survivors for Justice.

Kolko case: Halachic basis of the father's actions against Kolko

Click for Original Hebrew


The injustice done to a Lakewood Talmid Chachom acting against a pedophile

Israel and Saudi Arabia – Foes or Friends?

5 Towns Jewish Times   Saudi Arabia is the second to largest country in the entire Arab world. It has a population of approximately twenty seven million people, and geographically, is to the south of Jordan which is directly to the south of Israel. Although Saudi Arabia, along with the other Arab states, have officially been at war with Israel since 1948, there are areas where it has been becoming mutually beneficial for the under cover collaboration of Israel and Saudi Arabia. This collaboration would be extremely fascinating because Saudi Arabia is home to Islam’s two holiest places, Mecca and Medina, therefore being integral to all Muslims who as a general rule hate Israel and the Jews!   [...]

In conclusion, although externally Saudi Arabia and Israel appear to still be at war with each other, really they may maintain a hidden alliance, created because of common strategic needs. As we can observe from Israel and Saudi Arabia’s recent work to achieve the common goal of installing the new Egyptian regime, their collaborative efforts could achieve great successes. What would happen to the entire Middle East if Israel and Saudi Arabia ever became allied outwardly! With Saudi Arabia’s wealth and Israel’s political persuasiveness and potent military ability, they would be able to change the entire Middle Eastern region!  

Wife claims abuse and wants a divorce: How does a beis din respond?

ChanaRachel's comment on "Sefer on forced gittin - with haskamos of major ra...":

I'd like to look at the case study (the woman named Sandie) provided in the link cited above by Rabbi Eidensohn Jewish Action Magazine Spring 1998

Let's say that Sandie decides that she can no longer live with the abuse and asks for a divorce. Her husband refuses. They go to beit din.

What would be the response and halachic analysis by:
1- An RCA beit din in the US?
2- A Rabbanut beit din in Israel
3- A Hareidi beit din following the shitot of the above book?
4- How would each Rabbi Eidelsohn analyze the case?

Sandie's Story

Sandie* is a 45-year-old mother of four beautiful children, ages 10, 14, 15 and 22. She works as a school administrator and is highly regarded by staff and parents alike for her professionalism and sensitivity to the children's needs. Her husband David owns a successful business that caters to the growing Jewish population in their neighborhood. He is on the board of their synagogue, attends a Daf Yomi shiur every morning, and is well known as someone who is always willing to help out when a need arises in the community.

Sandie's greatest joy is a new grandchild, their first. Her greatest shame is that, unbeknownst to any of her friends, Sandie's husband abuses her. Some of her most painful moments have been at events when she and her husband were being honored for their community activities; it's all she can do to keep smiling when people tell her how wonderful her husband is, and how lucky she is to be married to him.

Sometimes Sandie has a hard time believing what really happens at home. When David comes home at night, she scans his face to see what kind of evening it's going to be. If he's in a "good" mood, he might generously say, "Forget what you've made for dinner. Let's all go out to eat!" On a "bad" night, she hustles the children into their rooms and tells them to do their homework alone because, "Abba needs it nice and quiet tonight." 

On nights like that, she knows that it won't take much to send him into a rage -- throwing dishes, screaming at her, slamming his fists into the walls, calling her names, accusing her of infidelity, or threatening to divorce her and take the children with him. Although he has shoved her and pulled her hair in the past, he has never hit her or broken any bones. Sometimes he yells at the kids too, but more often he spoils them and tells them that their mother is "too strict." He used to apologize and bring her gifts after a fight; but that never happens anymore.

Over the years, she's tried many ways to fix her marriage. She suggested couples' counseling several times, but David refused to go, saying that all their problems are her fault. She's spoken to rabbis and counselors, most of whom told her to leave him, but they couldn't tell her how she was supposed to support her children on her own. Others told her that he "just has a bad temper," and that she must avoid doing things that "push his buttons." Part of the reason Sandie went back to work was to build up a nest egg for herself, but David insists that she deposit her check directly into his bank account.

She's spent many nights crying, agonizing over the person her husband has become and wondering what she's done wrong. She feels so ashamed that she hasn't been able to keep shalom bayis in her home that she has rarely tried to tell anyone else. When she has hinted at problems, people say she must be exaggerating. She actually has few friends anymore, as David doesn't trust her to see people on her own. He insists they do everything as a couple.

The most recent incident was over the fact that she bought new shoes for their youngest child without asking David first. He kept her awake until 4:30 a.m. yelling about how she can't handle money, and how careless and lazy she is. (He gives her an "allowance" every motzei Shabbos to cover food, gasoline, clothing, school supplies and household expenses: the amount depends on whether she's been "good" that week, but it's never more than $200 for everything.)

For some reason, this fight was the last straw for her. She realized that he wasn't ever going to change; and she didn't want her children to grow up thinking this was normal behavior. That week she saw a card at the mikvah advertising a hotline for abused Orthodox women. When she called, the counselor really listened -- and made her feel that someone finally understood. But she didn't tell her what to do. Sandie had hoped the hotline would give her an answer, but by the end of the conversation, she realized that she was going to have to make some hard decisions for herself. She did feel better, however, after they worked out a safety plan in case things got worse again. The counselor gave her the names of some therapists, a battered women's support group, and a rabbi who would believe her, and told her she could call back any time she wanted to talk some more.

Sandie decided to start with the rabbi, and called to make an appointment. Although she was hesitant at first to give details, he seemed to understand what she meant by a "bad temper." He assured her that he would not endanger her by telling her husband she had come to him, and he set about helping her evaluate her options within a halachic framework. He also suggested that it would be a good idea for her to talk to a domestic violence counselor. 

At this point, after a few visits with the rabbi, Sandie doesn't yet know if she'll stay with David or ask for a divorce: she feels there are pros and cons either way, and she wants to make sure she does the right thing for her children. She does feel, however, that she has finally opened her eyes and is on her way to making things better for herself and for them. She feels hopeful for the first time in years.

* Sandie's case history was provided by NISHMA, a program for Orthodox battered women in Los Angeles. All names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

Suggestions for improvement in Gittin - Can we all agree?

I am making these comments into a separate post - focusing on how to improve the situation.

Dovid EidensohnOctober 24, 2013 at 9:17 PM

Is there any focus on our future, where all who agree with the major poskim and the Shulchan Aruch will not be able to marry the products of invalid divorces from the followers of Kotler and company? And if there is a great war in Israel between the rabbonut and gedolim about divorces, what does that mean? Are we thinking and talking about that, or are there more important issues?

PloniOctober 24, 2013 at 10:57 PM

R' Dovid:

I'm imagining that the identifying the "products" of these Gittin would require some sort of registry run by people that have the Gedolim's CLEAR stamp of approval.

That's a tough call, because as the author states, Sincere Batei Dinim are afraid to come out in the open against the Rabbanut, because they need the Rabbanut's אישור on Gittin.

How about dealing with "low lying fruit", first:

Let's get some publicity, articles.. ads etc publicizing a simple, logical truism:

1) No Rov or Bais Din can issue a Psak affecting the rights of any party in issues of בין אדם לחבירו without A) hearing both בעלי דין when they are both present together and B) without seriously attempting to ascertain the facts, unless the Baalei Din are מקבל קנין of their free will for a פשרה that states otherwise.

2) Any Baal Din has a right to ask מהיכן דנתני, where he feels an issue of bias may crop up.

3) Any Baal Din has a right to record the proceedings of Bais Din, where he feels there is an issue of bias.

Even if we assume that Epstein/Walmark can explain away lots of things: They care for עגונות; as Rabbi's they feel entitled to the opinion that גט מעושה is okay in the cases they dealt with; they took money because they have families to support...

....Perhaps the most blatant travesty in the saga is the lack of due diligence on their part: Namely, the fact that they never heard "the other side of the story". After all, there are ALWAYS two sides to every story!

How can Epstein/Walmark claim entitlement to the opinion that גט מעושה is okay in the cases they dealt with IF THEY OBVIOUSLY NEVER MET THE FICTITIOUS HUSBAND?

I think most of Kllal Yisroel - across the board - could empathize with these arguments.

I think that if we stay focused on things that most of Kllal Yisroel CAN agree with, we'll BS"D accomplish MUCH more..

Maybe afterwards - once people are warmed up - you'll BS"D have support going forward....

What Motivates Internet Trolls?

ABC News    A White House national security aide, with access to the country's foremost policy makers and closely guarded secrets, blew it all for the chance to write racy, inflammatory and mean-spirited messages on Twitter. 

Jofi Joseph, a director in the non-proliferation section of the National Security Staff at the White House, was fired after it was revealed that he was anonymously taunting senior administration officials, mocking politicians from both parties, and criticizing the policies he was helping to develop. 

Under the handle @natsecwonk, he also revealed internal government information. In short, he was a troll.[...]

But why write spiteful things online if there are real-life consequences? What motivates trolls like Joseph?[...]

"Cyber-psychologists often talk about the disinhibition affect. People do and say things online that they wouldn't do in real life," said John Suler, a cyber-psychologist at Rider University in New Jersey. In cyberspace, the face-to-face cues people rely on to curb inappropriate behavior is missing.[...]

But anonymity alone does not breed trolls, said Claire Hardaker, a professor at Lancaster University in England who studies Internet troublemakers. Trolls often have some sort of personal grudge, she said [...]

Weberman's victim's husband receives death threat

NYPost  The husband of the brave Orthodox Jewish teen whose testimony helped convict the once-prominent Jewish counselor who sexually abused her is receiving death threats, The Post has learned.

“I know my Jewish rights . . . I am allowed to kill you and that [is] what I am going to do,” a thuggish coward posted Monday on the Facebook page of Boorey Deutsch, husband of imprisoned perv Nechemya Weberman’s now-18-year-old victim.

“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU WITH IN THE NEXT THREE YEARS you may be stronger than one thousand satmar people but not stronger than a gun bullet,” the posting raged.

The Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office is investigating the threat, spokeswoman Mia Goldberg confirmed.

Rabbi Shteinman Attacked at Home by Chareidi man

Arutz 7    A red line was crossed Tuesday night in intra-hareidi political rivalry when a man in his 20s broke into the home of Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman, who is 99 years old, and physically attacked him.

The incident took place as votes in the municipal elections were still being counted nationwide, and while Rabbi Shteinman was preparing a Torah lesson he intended to give Wednesday. It is seen as being connected to the municipal elections, in which the faction that follows Rabbi Shteinman received 8 seats on the Jerusalem Municipal Council, but Rabbi Shteinman's favored candidate for mayor, Moshe Lion, lost.

Sources in Rabbi Shteinman's home said that the attacker apparently entered through a window. He approached the rabbi, held him with both hands and began to shake him vigorously, while verbally insulting him and saying he had come "to get revenge."

Upon hearing the commotion in the rabbi's room, his assistants and followers quickly entered the room and held the down the attacker until police came and arrested him.

The rabbi is reportedly not feeling well after the attack, and his doctor is conducting a series of tests to determine how badly he was hurt.

The ultra-Orthodox seamstress who determined the fate of Jewish women

Haaretz   Schenirer wrote of the dissonance in the community, as "Carolin": 

“And as we pass through the days before the High Holy Days...fathers and sons travel, and thus they are drawn to Ger, to Belz, to Alexander, to Bobov, to all those places that had been made citadels of conceited religious life, dominated by the figure of the rebbe’s personality. 

“And we stay at home, the wives, daughters, and the little ones. We have an empty festival. It is bare of Jewish intellectual content. The women have never learned anything about the spiritual meaning that is concentrated within a Jewish festival. The mother goes to the synagogue, but the services echo faintly into the fenced and boarded-off women’s galleries. There is much crying by elderly women. The young girls look at them as though they belong to a different century. Youth and the desire to live a full life shoot up violently in the strong-willed young personalities. Outside the synagogues, the young girls stay chattering; they walk away from the synagogue where their mothers pour out their vague and heavy feelings. They leave behind them the wailing of the older generation and follow the urge for freedom and self-expression. Further and further from the synagogue they go, further away, to the dancing, tempting light of a fleeting joy.”[...]

Of course, a century later in Orthodox girls’ schools, no one taught us about Schenirer’s secular studies. Nor did anyone tell us about the testimonies that those who knew her have given since, stories which would fit all too awkwardly into a hagiography: that she had been married previously at an early age but soon afterwards got divorced (some say her husband was not religious enough for her, others claim it was childlessness which drove them apart), that she studied the Mishna in the original Hebrew without Yiddish translation, that her lectures were attended both by men and women. 

After Schenirer’s death, religious leaders went to great lengths to describe Schenirer as a "modest, pious woman." As Shoshanah Bechhofer writes in her 2005 dissertation on the subject, a “movement that represents change [in] a religious community that reveres tradition” must “celebrate its innovator without celebrating the idea of innovation”. And so, it was decided that, if ambition contradicts the traditional ideal of female piety, Sarah Schenirer’s memory would have to evolve first and foremost as a paragonof modesty, a modern-day redeemer of the daughters of Israel. And so, she has become today exactly what she once mourned in her diary: a woman wrapped in shawls rather than words, a perfectionist in “clothing the body” but not so much in clothing the seeds of the soul - or the mind, for that matter.[...]

Jewish Community Watch: Shh...Don't report abuse?

Minyan as a way to politically strengthen the Land of Israel

Guest post: The following is not a typical post for this blog. As the author states, she is not presenting a halachic view but a political one touching on the mitzva of yishuv haaretz.

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Why the Minyan?

It takes ten men to say certain prayers in shul. Yet no member of a minyan has a duty to attend. Why, then, opt in to this essential expression of Jewish community? It all goes back to the spies on whom the size of this religious -- and, in many ways, political -- quorum is designed.

In preparation to claim the promised land, chieftains of each tribe were dispatched to "see what kind of land it is, and the people who inhabit it; are they strong or weak? Are there few or many?" Ten of the 12 spies gave reports so discouraging that the people considered dissolving their nation in favor of returning to slavery in Egypt.

Those ten fearmongers were excised and our nation survived the episode. But, today, if the tables were turned, and enemies peered over our shul walls to discover the strength of Am Yisröel, would those spies run in fear or find our Beit Knessets all but abandoned?

My recent visit to the old city of Akko, recounted in Gather the Jews last week, suggests the latter. http://www.gatherthejews.com/2013/10/importance-of-a-minyan-in-akko/ Granted, rock-solid communities of faithful men abound around the world. But, what if Jews stopped to consider that their presence at a minyan constituted not just an act of group worship but a political statement, too? Our houses of prayer might brim daily to overflowing with platoons of tefillin-wearing chieftains.

Where no halakhic authority exists on the point, who am I to say whether HaShem wants you consistently in a minyan? What I do know is that people take their cues from leaders. And where ten leaders cannot take the time to convene daily in defense of their nation, what can any of the rest of us be expected to pledge toward its survival?

Lisette Garcia, J.D., is a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) consultant in Washington, D.C. She attends Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, a 15-minute walk from the U.S. Capitol.

Alleged Modi'in Illit child molester arrested

JPost   Modi’in Illit Police have arrested a 20-year-old resident of Bnei Brak suspected of involvement in attacks on several victims, including a sexual assault on a nine-year-old boy.

Police noted that the victim’s father went to his rabbi and asked whether or not he should notify authorities of the alleged abuse. The rabbi told the man to go to police immediately, and he filed the complaint on Tuesday.

The child told police that he was on his way back home from school when he asked a young man to help him cross the street. The boy said the man then asked him to come with him to a nearby building, underneath a synagogue, where he sexually assaulted him.[...]

Police in Modi’in Illit are now calling on residents to come forward if they know of additional children the suspect assaulted.

Freund succeeds in bringing in 900 more non-Jewish Bnei Menashe

JPost   Following last week’s cabinet decision to allow the immigration of nearly 900 members of the Indian Bnei Menashe community to Israel, Michael Freund, the founder and chairman of the Shavei Israel organization that lobbied for their aliya, told The Jerusalem Post that he wishes to see the entire community come to Israel soon.

“Our goal is to bring all the remaining members of the Bnei Menashe community here to Israel as quickly as possible,” Freund said during a telephone interview on Thursday. [...]

While the Chief Rabbinate does not consider the Bnei Menashe to be Jewish according to Halacha, the members of the community consider themselves to be of Jewish ancestry and “committed Zionists and observant Jews” whose goal “is to return to the land of their ancestors,” Freund remarked. [..]

According to Freund, last week’s cabinet decision allows 200 Bnei Menashe to be brought by the end of the year, 400 in 2014 and another 300 in 2015. All of the immigrants will be housed in a private absorption center run by Shavei Israel and will then be settled around the country. [...]

Why rabbis are typically not competent to deal with abuse cases

Guest Post from Rabbi Yehoshua Kaganoff: This is a letter written several years ago which was sent in response to an article in the Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society.

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Rabbi Alfred Cohen, Editor

RJJ Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society

5 Fox Lane

Spring Valley, NY 10977

Chol Hamoed Succos, 5771

Dear Rabbi Cohen,

I appreciate the voluminous amount of research and effort that you invested in composing your recent article, “Judging Transgression in the Absence of Witnesses”. However, I was considerably dismayed over several fundamental omissions of very critical dimensions that impact dramatically on the outcome determinations and guidance that was necessary to convey to your readership and others under their influence.

Probably the most effective and efficient means of demonstrating the deficient aspects of the article is to critique the 3 case-studies that you cited as examples on pages 45-47 of your article.

In regards to the first case, you state that you feel that the authority figures acted in laudatory fashion.

Unfortunately, that is grossly incorrect. Nowhere is it mentioned that in the initial confrontation (“the quiet, discreet one”) that the rabbis in charge stipulated that the “rebbe” needed to submit to specialized psychological testing and treatment and that his engagement in the treatment protocols needs to be corroborated and verified. Nor was it mentioned that in the interim his movements need to be constantly (electronically) monitored and that the monitoring would only be discontinued after receiving a “clean report” from the supervising therapist.

The “rabbis in charge” were completely unaware of the compulsive, addictive nature of pedophility. Nor were they aware of the extent of the injury and damage caused to the victim of molestation.

Therefore, even though they may have (perhaps) protected the children of the yeshiva, they did nothing to protect the children of the community at large. As is well documented and known, a pedophile’s verbal assurances are of absolutely no value; Nor are threats of punishment! The disease (and indeed, a disease it is!) is a compulsion that he cannot rationally control and it was only a matter of time before he would victimize another child.

The rabbis in charge, either out of neglectful ignorance or arrogance, ignored the medical scientific research on this condition and blundered egregiously. They did not discharge their responsibility of Lo Sa’amod Al Dam Re’echo. The subsequent victim’s trauma (“….not abiding by the terms of the agreement.”) is their full responsibility. “Kol Dmei Achicho Tzoakim Eilai!”. Yodenu Shofchu es HaDom Hazeh!”      

              

This is very precisely a case of “Holcho Chamorcho, Tarfon”.

And likewise the public denouncement thereafter, was also a consequent miscarriage of justice. They never gave the perpetrator a proper chance at therapy to modify his psychological issues which underlie his disease. They basically set him up for failure and the subsequent public degradation.

This is not laudatory at all!

Similarly in the case of the Hebrew school teacher that you cited as case study #2, The Rosh Yeshiva perhaps protected the children in school. How these same children were to be protected off school premises remains mystifying. The nature of the disease is that if one avenue of sating the craving is denied, then the addict finds another avenue to “soothe” the compulsion.

And exactly how was the Shul Rabbi going to protect the children in the Shul? Was he to appoint (discreetly, of course) a shomer to watch the teacher’s every action? Anyone who works in the field of addictions knows that it is absurd and impossible to expect another person to control externally the addict from engaging in his “drug of choice”.  And what about the children in the rest of community? Again there was no interim electronic monitoring to keep the community safe. And there was no   mandated treatment with corroboratable compliance to ascertain that the perpetrator was engaged in the therapeutic process. All of these follies lay the groundwork for a subsequent disaster to happen.

Your referencing and comparing of these first 2 cases to your third case study of a Monsey butcher is a total non-sequitor. Even if we suspect the butcher of the compulsion of Kleptomania, at most he is endangering people’s money. The Maacholos Asuros factor is clearly an “Ones Rachmono Patrei” on the part of the customers and every responsible rov and rebbi will exonerate the consumers. Even the “Timtum HaLev” aspect, if indeed it applies at all, is removed by some Teshuva on the part of the consumers – please see endnote for elaboration. In no way does this compare to the severe emotional trauma and physical damage caused by molestation! A molester is a true Rodef in every sense of the word as borne out by the research.

Until such time as Rosh Yeshivos, Rabonim and Dayonim educate themselves in the following areas:

            1 – The compulsion dimension of Pedophilia; it is not a case of yitzra b’yodo – that he can contain his “own   evil urgings”…..

             2 – The extensive damage done to the victims….; 

          3 – That this is not a case of “judging transgression”; but preventing profound injury by a public menace (Rodef)…

A parent or other responsible adult has no other recourse than to go to the secular authorities and/or to the media, to protect his own children and those of others. And this is, indeed, mandated by Halocho!

If you would like, for your convenience I can send to you the corroboratory Teshuvos, Mareh Mekomos and resource material that is available upon these matters.

I believe it behooves you to recall the article as being half information and therefore inaccurate and misleading.

A Guten Moed v’Simchas HaChag

Sincerely,

Rabbi Kaganoff

PS – concerning Timtum Halev:

1) Droshos HaRan(#11) posits that a person who commits an Aveira but did so because he followed the Psak of Torah Authority does not suffer Timtum HaLev. In the cited butcher case, the consumers were following a very reliable Rav HaMachshir.

2) Even if we would disregard the Droshos HaRan, the Timtum HaLev is at most a Hezek SheAino Nikar, which is only a Hezek m’d’Rabbonon – NOT m’dOiraisah (Oruch HaShulchon CM 386:8).

3) Even if we suspect that the consumers ate Chelev, which would precipitate upon them a Chiyuv Korbon (Chatos or Oshom Tolui) to atone and rectify the damage, the cost of the animal would be only a monetary damage on the part of the butcher (Garmi – Oruch HaShulchon 368:11). 

And whether it be in a time when Korbonos can or cannot be brought, Teshuva accomplishes the requisite rectification as per Rambam, Teshuva 1:1 ; 3 and 7:4,6-8 

Feeling high and mighty gives us license to accept dubious dough

Scientific American  It may be satisfying to think back on good deeds. But beware: studies suggest these rosy recollections can prime us for future behaviors that are actually less ethical. When reassured of our rock-solid morality, it seems, we give ourselves more leeway in ethically slippery situations—a phenomenon dubbed “moral licensing.” In a recent example, California researchers found that individuals who had just written about a past good deed—such as helping a troubled friend or doing charitable work—worked harder for dough from an ethically iffy source. [...]