Thursday, August 21, 2014

A satire about Yerachmiel Lopin of the blog Frum Follies – “Who was that masked man?”

[Of course you shouldn't take seriously anything I say here because I don’t mean anything I write here. Besides Yerachmiel is a good sport and I am suffering from a slow news day.]

Many years ago in the infamous social jungle of Williamsburg Brooklyn – home to many criminals and perverts as well as chassidic rebbes - a baby was born without anybody realizing his awesome significance for Mankind. There were no omens from heaven – such as a violent hurricane - nor were there any indications on earth – such as a rebbe forgetting to ask for a gift for a bracha. Of course this concealment of the earthshaking significance of the event was totally necessary and appropriate because of what we now know regarding the man we know as Yerachmiel Lopin.

As is true of the 36 righteous tzadikim – this baby was a true nistar. He seemed average in every way to his family, friends and teachers. What separated him from the others was his tremendous desire to be somebody. He wanted to have vast power and be recognized for his influence on the course of human events. 

Unfortunately his understanding of morality and right and wrong had been frozen at the level of a 6 year old. He has always viewed everything in black and white terms because he could not understand nuance or the interaction of complex moral factors. This was the result of a singular event that occurred when he was walking with his father in Williamsburg one summer evening. They stepped off the curb in the middle of the block to cross the street. He heard an incredible cry of “gevald from one of the biggest tzadikim in Williamsburg. Yerachmiel was totally shaken to his inner core and suffered post traumatic syndrome from that abusive shout. He and his father jumped back on to the sidewalk where they were sternly lectured about the incredible evil which is released into the world by even seemingly minor crimes such as J-walking. He never recovered from that experience and as a direct result - never advanced to the cognitive and moral understanding of an adult.

As he grew up two major factors dominated his life – 1) he lost interest in Yiddishkeit while retaining a nostalgia for it 2) He developed a great desire to be looked up to and to influence the world. The desire with being a great and important man was unfortunately combined with a fear of being criticized and being hurt. How could he possibly influence the world while remaining vulnerable to be hurt and criticized?

The answer came to him one day when he was secretly watching Superman on his neighbor’s television.  He realized he needed a secret identity like Superman so he adopted a false identity “Yerachmiel Lopin”. Then while he was watching Perry Mason the next day, he learned that if he was careful with his vocabulary he was safe from lawsuits. He learned that one should always say “This is just a satire”, “It is alleged”, “some people claim” , "if  despite strong evidence to the contrary X happened" or “it can be inferred that”. He also learned that one should always hide behind authorities by citing them or attributing his understanding to an authority - even though these authorities never said what he claimed. Thus, “it says in Shulchan Aruch” or “Mary Murphy 18 time Emmy winner alleged” [a really good expression because it combined “alleged” with “an authority”. Finally he discovered - that in America – most of what is published on a blog is safe from lawsuits and that became the medium for communicating with the world. He was now almost invincible.

Besides having a childlike black and white view of morality, he had trouble empathizing and understanding people who disagreed with him. After all Truth is Truth. Besides he didn’t have a good opinion of anybody who disagreed because after all since his opinion was right – the other side was obviously wrong. It was also important to his black and white self-image – to largely avoid acknowledging he had made a mistake. Besides a good offense is the best defense. 

The only think lacking in his grandiose, messianic vision was that he didn’t have a cause. He – as an avid admirer of Don Quixote - desperately needed a cause. At least some windmills to fight. He tried on various causes, being good to the environment, all men are brothers, feminism and even for a while became a baal teshuva. However nothing gave him the needed charge of self-righteous and galvanized his hidden powers until he discovered the cause of “Child Abuse and the great Orthodox Cover-up.”

The rest is history as he became one of the most famous and influential accusers and allegers of child abuse. He needed very little evidence to accuse someone. It helped if the person had at least one accuser who was reported the allegations to the police or to a newspaper. Once he had an allegation, his super powers of imagination and prose were activated and he just poured out an incredibly creative tale – usually with very little substance – to nail that “bastard.” He started a blog “frum follies” which provided him with additional protection against lawsuit and having to deal with facts. Of course he also pointed out that he was using satire – so he could make words mean anything he wanted.

Finally we can understand his Oedipal complex. Ultimately this crusade against abuse and his secret identity using the magic words of “it is alleged” or “Mary Murphy says” - enabled him to bash the rabbis that he despised and against whom he wanted vengeance for making him feel inadequate. Every rabbi he made squirm, declared to be a hypocrite or phony – or better yet insulted – gave him a tremendous feeling of power that he craved. Of course he hid behind the cover of a crusader for the victims and his concern for the absolute truth. But since this is satire – we know the truth.


  1. I thank you for an amusing mixture of criticism, fantasy, satire and tidbits of insight. There were definitely moments I recognized myself. Rabbi Eidensohn, you have some talent for this genre; I hope you will produce more in this vein. I am eagerly looking forward to your autobiographical equivalent. No one is more qualified to write it than you.

  2. + 3,000,000

    Finally. Thank you!

  3. Seriously??? This is an extremely childish way of putting down someone with whom you disagree.

  4. Quit the childish squabbling. We have more important things to discuss than a public immature blog fight. Seriously!

  5. You exhibit a sense of humility in your comment, along with a sharp wit. Look, when someone chooses a Mitzvah and works hard on it and is Moser Nefesh over it, they get a kind of super-intuition, almost a Ruach Ha'Kodesh. No doubt you can sniff out abuse like nobody's business. The danger inherent in this approach is that sometimes the one who is talented in one arena may mistakenly begin to think they are as competent in other areas where they have not honed their skills. I guess what some of us are trying to express is that one must abide by Caveat Blogger, that is, the keypad can be a mighty club, swing with care.

  6. fantasy

    Mind sharing with us which parts fit this description?

  7. "It was also important to his black and white self-image – to largely
    avoid acknowledging he had made a mistake. Besides a good offense is the
    best defense."

    I thought this was a self-description of the blog author... but unfortunately, he lacks the insight to formulate something like this, very accurate, about himself...

  8. Verification of AddressAugust 21, 2014 at 7:52 PM

    Yerachmiel Lopin. ...........................
    I think that you once mentioned that Lopin stands for Ploni . But please remind us what is Yerachmiel standing for?

  9. DT, your conspiracy theory with Gottesman and the CBD is plain crazy.

    here is another possible scenario…same facts far different analysis.

    CBD got the torah Umesorah involved. that is a fact..and how gottesman got in the game. makes sense as torah umesorah has a division to deal with these issues and gottesman is chief of the division. so gottesman did not get involved in some nefarious manner. Now comes my speculation.

    Torah Umesorah deals with american schools only…so Gottesman could not do that much…instead he/TU helped CBD by putting together IBD…with the understanding that IBD would “sell” to Torah Umesorah…not Torah Umesorah proper…but its chief personnel namely Gottesman and Bloom. Perhaps the plan, once the seminaries were 100% out of Meisels hands, for Gottesman/Bloom to do a full investigation something that TU would have done had it been an American school. This was a workaround and very logical. It was in no way, shape or form a ploy by Gottesman to get the schools at a bargain price and who when this did not work went on a rampage where he pushed CBD to do all sorts of unethical things as DT would like us to believe.

    Instead it was a strategic move aimed at removing Meisels and then performing a full investigation by the interim owners, Torah Umesorah (Bloom/Gottesman)

    But IBD did not follow through…they are the ones who changed course not CBD and Gottesman.

    Just wanted to show that you and your followers have taken the “facts” and interpreted it according to his biased view…I took same facts and produced a way different scenario where the heroes and villians are totally reversed.

  10. It seems the only thing RDE was wrong about was yerachmiel being a good sport!!!

  11. kul haposel, bemumo posel.
    just to let you now that i just dumped my copy of your "daas torah" in the garbage.

  12. yeh, kinda expected that.

  13. LOLOL

    Oh, you ever had it? What is it you learnt from it? What is it you learnt from any sefer?

  14. Your just a hoot. You really should do stand up. The world is missing out so much on all your wit and wisdom. Or at least put a comment collecting all your pithy one liners for the benefit of your reading audience. We're really quite bored here.

  15. Asher pihem diber shavAugust 22, 2014 at 1:25 AM

    It is honestly so hard for me to figure out good from bad on this blog. Is Meisels a bad guy ? Alright guy ? Horrible ? Is Yerachmiel Lopin a terrible guy ?

    It is also hard to figure out the purpose of this blog. To protect the innocents? The not so guilty ? The horrible ? To expose cover ups ? To cover up cover ups ? To get attention ? Is this blog the equivalent of the jewish enquirer ? Is Lopin's blog? Well I guess who cares, they're just blogs anyway.

  16. Nice attempt at being Dan l'kaf zechus, but your scenario is highly unlikely being that immediately after the sale to Yarmush was announced, Zvi Bloom put out a letter recruiting these girls so he can open himself a new seminary, the only seminary owner to do so.

    Secondly, if you would do any research, you would find out that they did intend to take over the seminaries at a "bargain price". In fact when he refused to be blackmailed , they put out the letter about him even though he had already stepped down from the seminaries. Please don't respond that they put out the letter to prevent him from getting involved in the future, because had he signed them over to the Beryon, nothing would have been published.

    Why did the CBD first publish a letter regarding the staff only after the sale went through? Did they not have this information after " months of exhaustive investigations"? Its pretty clear that when Gottesman didn't get his way by smearing E.M., he than attempted to force the seminaries to close by smearing the staff.

    Why was it only possible to "fix" the seminaries by the accusers taking them over, is there any reason that a third party couldn't take them over and work with T.Um. to have them "fixed".

  17. Instead of quoting attention seeker, or asking questions that have been answered numerous times, you have resorted to insults?

  18. Jack,
    Torah umesorah does not put known sex offenders on their so called registry - you actually believe that they do investigations ?? Lol not in this life.

  19. Figure it out. It is not so hard. Just Hebrew comprehension. Hint rachem= mercy, yirachem= future tense. work it.

  20. Fair enough. Well worth keeping in mind. Sometimes I forget and need to remind myself.

  21. It is also hard to figure out the purpose of this blog.

    So why do you waist your time visiting it, and even commenting on it? Hmmm.

  22. Verification of AddressAugust 24, 2014 at 7:30 AM

    I'm working on it very hard to figure it out ! Thanks anyway !

  23. Apparently he's a kollel wife
    ! OY VEY !


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