One of the issues that is typically brought up is, "Why did G-d want me to be raped and abused?" The following are some thought regarding two contradictory yet legitimate views within mainstream Orthodox Judaism. This passage wll be included in my book and is copyrighted. No publishing is allowed without my written permission.
Perhaps the most difficult issue for a religious Jew to face is why did it happen? Since we know that nothing happens without G-d’s approval - that must mean that He wanted the abuse to happen .There are in fact in two alternative views which need to be considered. Strangely enough each approach is legitimate within Torah sources but only one is comforting and the other is viewed as distressing. Which is which is dependent on the individual and his/her psychological and spiritual attitude.
The first approach, which is the dominant one today, is the Gd centered view that G-d is responsible for all events and He wanted it to happen. Even if a leaf falls off a tree is was caused by Divine Providence. There are a number of reasons why G-d wanted to suffering to happen. 1) because the need for atonement – either in this lifetime or for a previous existence. The Ramban states that without the concept of reincarnation (gilgul) it is impossible to understand the suffering of the righteous and innocent. Thus most suffering is the result of sin. 2) the need for testing and character refinement through adversity. Thus the suffering is not the result of sin but is the means of getting greater personal growth and reward in the world to come. 3) suffering of love is simply n order to give greater reward in the World to Come. This view is found comforting because everything has meaning and the main test is to accept that the suffering is G-d’s will. The suffering is pre-ordained and thus there is no protection against it. The only way to prevent the suffering is to take the initiative to raise ones spiritual level so that there is no need for the suffering. If the desired consequences can be achieved by one's spiritual intitiative then ther is no need for the suffering. The perpetrator still needs to be punished because if he wasn't wicked he would not have be selected to be the agent of the suffering. The concern that G-d is doing something cruel is answered simply by the statement that G-d is obviously is kind but we don’t understand it and must accept whatever He does as kind. G-d is like a doctor who causes pain by amputating a limb or give chemo- therapy to save the person.
The second approach is the man centered view that while G-d in fact runs the world – but He gives man free-will to do what he wants. Thus a man can hurt or kill another – even though G-d doesn’t want it to happen – because of the granting of free-will. Consequently one can in fact prevent the harm from happening by human efforts. The Rambam explains that Divine Providence is reserved for those truly close to G-d and even a distraction from thinking about G-d makes you vulnerable to harm. The Netziv cites a Zohar as the source of this understanding. Rav Dessler cites Seforno that most Jews are not operating under Divine Providence. This is generally the approach found in the Rishonim and was the dominant approach until Chassidim introduced the first view about 150 years ago. This man centered view is comforting because G-d is not being cruel in any sense of the word. Rather it is man that causes suffering or the impersonal forces of chance or mazel. This approach puts the responsibility on man to act and to stop the suffering. It also means that one needs to focus on how he responds on a human level because not all efforts will be effective in stopping the harm. The first approach is much more fatalistic because ultimately one needs only accept what has happened and that it needed to happen.