Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Marshmallows & Importance of self-control

New Yorker article

5 comments :

  1. Very interesting - the book looks like it's worth reading:
    http://qurl.com/12kgn


    I've been working hard recently on teaching hakaras ha'tov to my kids, but delayed gratification is another biggie. Anyone have any ideas on how to work it into Divrei Torah?

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  2. Actually there is a midrash with the opposite lesson. Elijah came to a poor man and his wife and told them they can enjoy sis years of prosperity now or in the end of their life. He consults with his wife etc. The correct choice was to enjoy it now.

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  3. the Monsey Tzadik said...

    Actually there is a midrash with the opposite lesson. Elijah came to a poor man and his wife and told them they can enjoy sis years of prosperity now or in the end of their life. He consults with his wife etc. The correct choice was to enjoy it now.
    ========================
    Can't find such a medrash so I don't know what the context is.

    Obviously if one always delayed gratification then he would get no pleasure from this world at all. However the inability to delay gratification when there is definitely a benefit is really the issue.

    Put another way - if someone only worked or studied when there was direct and immediate gratification he would not amount to much.

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  4. I do not have access to seforim right now but I do have an internet connection so this is the one I am referring to:

    In this manner he once appeared to a poor but pious man, and asked him whether he wished to enjoy the six good years which were appointed him now, or at the end of his life. The pious man took him for a sorcerer, and made no reply. But when Elijah came the third time, the man consulted his wife as to what he should do. They concluded to tell the Arab that they wished to enjoy the good years at once; they had hardlyexpressed their wish when their children found a great treasure. The pious couple made good use of their riches, and spent much money for benevolent purposes. After six years the Arab returned and told them that the end of their prosperity had come. The woman, however, said to him: "If you can find people who will use with more conscientiousness what you give unto them, then take it from us and give it to them." God, who well knew what use this pious couple had made of their wealth, left it in their hands as long as they lived (Midr. Ruth Zuta, ed. Buber, near end).


    http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?letter=E&artid=245

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  5. The end of the New Yorker article includes a noteworthy observation with regard to education that is, from a Mussar perspective, quite interesting:

    KIPP [is] an organization of sixty-six public charter schools across the country. KIPP schools are known for their long workday—students are in class from 7:25 A.M. to 5 P.M.—and for dramatic improvement of inner-city students’ test scores. (More than eighty per cent of eighth graders at the KIPP academy in the South Bronx scored at or above grade level in reading and math, which was nearly twice the New York City average.) “The core feature of the KIPP approach is that character matters for success,” [co-founder David] Levin says. “Educators like to talk about character skills when kids are in kindergarten—we send young kids home with a report card about ‘working well with others’ or ‘not talking out of turn.’ But then, just when these skills start to matter, we stop trying to improve them. We just throw up our hands and complain.”

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