Psychology of everyday life: "I feel sorry for him - but it's not my job!"

Update about Judaism and Psychology. I mentioned to the director of the program that asked me to write on the topic - that in contrast to other topics that they dealt with - this topic was different. Topics such as suffering or purpose in life etc - utilized questions simply as a means to teach the student that which the teacher already knew. These topics are closed ones with a clear answer. In contrast the topic of Judiasm and Psychology was an open one - with fundamental unanswered questions for both Judaism and Psychology. So while I could present the questions, and some basic principles - I could not provide them final clear answers. In other words I can teach an approach to deal with these issues - but not give "the Torah answers." This in in fact the dispute of the Rambam and Ravad of how to deal with free will. Ravad said an intelligent person does not ask questions that have no clear answer and but apparently the Rambam disagreed.

While we are on the topic of Psychology and Judaism I am reminded of a story.

When I first visited Israel I had a Shabbos meal at the home of an occupational therapist who worked at Haddassa with wounded soldiers from the Six Day War and Yom Kippur War as well  as handicapped people.

She mentioned two incidents to illustrate the Israeli mentality - as opposed to the American. 1) She said that when the wounded soldiers were brought to the hospital from the battle field - some with horrible wounds - they were totally silent. No crying, no moans, no cursing - total silence - which she said was totally different than her experience in American hospitals. She said that Israelis feel uncomfortable about sharing their personal feelings with others - even if it means not screaming in pain or even complaining about severe burns and wounds.

2) The second anecdote was more upsetting. She said there was one quadriplegic who lived in the hospital and whose mobility depended on an electric wheelchair - that he operated with the fingers on his right hand that he still could move - that had to be charged every night. One day she came in and found that the wheel chair had not been charged. She angrily asked the attendant why he hadn't plugged it in? She berated him by pointing out that the handicapped young man had lost the whole day because of the attendant's negligence.

The attendant expressed astonishment at the criticism. "Of course I wanted to charge the battery. I know full well the consequence of not having a charged wheelchair. You think I am a moron? An insensitive person? But what could I do - the faceplate on the socket was loose and I couldn't insert the plug!" She angrily said, "Well why didn't you fix the socket - it is a simple job taking 30 seconds with a screwdriver. The attendant patiently explained to this "stupid" American nurse that what she said was absolutely true - the repair was trivial. "But it is not my job. My job is to insert the plug not fix the socket!"