Aruch HaShulchan[1](Yoreh Deah 268:6): One should not try to actively encourage any non-Jew to convert. In fact we should discourage conversion as we see in Yevamos (47a): When a non-Jew comes to us and requests that he be converted we say to him, “What is the reason that you want to convert? Don’t you know that the Jews in our times are persecuted and oppressed, despised, harassed and overcome by afflictions?” If he is dissuaded by this then we don’t stop him from going away. However if he says, “I know this and nevertheless I am not worthy to join the Jewish people,” he is to be accepted immediately. He is to be instructed in some of the minor and some of the major mitzvos. If he changes his mind and decides not to convert then let him change his mind because converts are as problematic for the Jewish people as a skin disease. If he persists than he is to be taught the sin of neglecting Gleanings, the Forgotten Sheaf, the Corner and the Poor Man's Tithe. (This was done in Israel at the time when these mitzvos were practiced so that he should know about them and not say that the poor people who come to take the grain are thieves. However in modern times these are not relevant. That is why they are not mentioned in the Tur or the Shulchan Aruch.) He is also to be instructed concerning some of the punishments for transgressing mitzvos. He is told, “That before becoming a Jew if you eat forbidden fats you will not be punished by kares. If you profane Shabbos you will not be punished by stoning. However now if you eat forbidden fat you will be punished by kares. If you profane Shabbos you will be stoned.” At this point, however, this should not be done a lot or in great detail. In other words he should not be frightened a lot with the negative consequences of becoming a Jew because that will of necessity cause him not to become Jewish. He is not deliberately frightened away at this point because he has come to seek refuge under the wings of the Shechina.
[1] ערוך השולחן (יורה דעה רסח:ו): אין להסית שום גוי לגייר את עצמו ואדרבא כך אמרו חז"ל ביבמות [מז.] כשבא עכו"ם לנו ומבקש שיגיירוהו אומרים לו מה ראית שבאת להתגייר אי אתה יודע שישראל בזמה"ז דווים סחופים ומטולטלים ויסורים באים עליהם ואם ילך לו ילך לו ואם אומר יודע אני ואיני כדאי להתחבר עמהם מקבלין אותו מיד ומודיעים אותו מקצת מצות קלות ומקצת מצות חמורות ואם חוזר בו יחזור בו דקשים גרים לישראל כספחת [שם] ומודיעים אותו עון לקט שכחה ופאה ומעשר עני וזה היה בא"י בעת שנהגו מצות אלו כדי שידע מזה ולא יאמר על העניים הבאים ליטול גזלנים הם ובזמה"ז לא שייך זה ולכן לא הזכירו זה בטור וש"ע ומודיעין אותו מקצת עונשין של מצות שאומרים לו קודם שבאת למדה זו אכלת חלב אי אתה ענוש כרת חללת שבת אי אתה חייב סקילה ועכשיו אם תאכל חלב תחייב כרת אם תחלל שבת תחייב סקילה ואין מרבין עליו ואין מדקדקין עליו כלומר שלא יאיימו עליו הרבה דא"כ יהיה מוכרח לפרוש והרי זה בא לחסות תחת כנפי השכינה:
There was a Rabbi in my community who would work with couples who are intermarried or who are planning to intermarry who had a tremendous track record for breaking up these relationships. This Rabbi used to send me the Gentile women of the couple to "teach" her to begin "converting".
ReplyDeleteI would begin to discuss the laws of Taharat HaMishpachah. For some reason every one of these women, upon finding out the details of Jewish marriage, and that this is what he would expect of her, ran away and ended the relationship.
It makes me wonder what Rabbis who convert for intermarriage teach these women.
anonymous wrote:
ReplyDelete"I would begin to discuss the laws of Taharat HaMishpachah. For some reason every one of these women, upon finding out the details of Jewish marriage, and that this is what he would expect of her, ran away and ended the relationship."
This is an interesting point especially since the Aruch HaShulchan says:
"He [the one who comes to convert] is also to be instructed concerning some of the punishments for transgressing mitzvos. He is told, “That before becoming a Jew if you eat forbidden fats you will not be punished by kares. If you profane Shabbos you will not be punished by stoning. However now if you eat forbidden fat you will be punished by kares. If you profane Shabbos you will be stoned.” At this point, however, this should not be done a lot or in great detail. In other words he should not be frightened a lot with the negative consequences of becoming a Jew because that will of necessity cause him not to become Jewish. He is not deliberately frightened away at this point because he has come to seek refuge under the wings of the Shechina."
When are converts typically informed about these matters which might frighten them away?
Hello, here is a permanent link in the online Arukh Hashulchan to the the halakhah that you cited:
ReplyDeletehttp://he.wikisource.org/wiki/AHS:YD268
Thanks,
Dovi Jacobs