Thursday, January 18, 2018

Rav Eiyashiv's psak regarding parenting

מרן הגרי"ש אלישיב הורה - תפזרי את הילדים אצל קרובי המשפחה ותשאירי את הבת הנושרת בבית: בעקבות הפולמוס על היחס לילדים הנושרים, וכיצד יש לנהוג עמם, 'בחדרי' מביא תיעוד מדברי הרב אורי זוהר, מגדולי העוסקים בקירוב, בו הוא מספר על הוראה של מרן הגרי"ש אלישיב לאמא לתשעה ילדים שבתה נשרה מן הדרך. 

הרב אורי זוהר פעיל בשנים האחרונות במסגרת אירגון "מענה" שמסייע בייעוץ ובהכוונה להורים שלהם ילדים נושרים. 


  1. If the only mekor is the ish mipi ish through Rabbi Zohar, I would rather not believe that Reb Elyashiv said that. It's most likely taken out of context, or maybe it was spoken to a particular individual to whom the circumstance was such that this was correct advice, for whatever reason. Otherwise, how can I accept a ruling saying that we should be makriv 8 children for the sake of one?!

  2. Here's the video

  3. Even if we would accept that this was Rav Elyashiv's psak for everyone in that situation, still even according to that psak, he did not recommend to have the child together in the house with the rest of the family. He said to farm them out, because in general he agreed that we may not be makriv the others. So if one can practically do that, to place all of the others in a good loving environment where they can thrive an have a healthy childhood, then the plan is relevant. Otherwise it's irrelevant. The fact is that in most cases this isn't feasible. So then we would have had to go back to Rav Elyashiv, for further guidance.

    Perhaps there is an underlying message here, about not caring more about public image, then about the child, as rabbi Zohar clearly explains. But while that message is very important, there still is a very real problem here which needs real feasible practical advice, not just some cryptic sharp mussar line. I don't think that people with such a problem nebach, should be too quick to jump to life decisions based on hearsay advice found on a blog. Instead they should discuss it with a competent experienced Rov or professional.


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