Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Shulchan Aruch, Polygamy & Rabbeinu Gershom

See full discussion in Otzer haPoskim volume I from Hebrew Books pages 21 -94

Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 1:9): A man is allowed to marry a number of wives as long is he can afford them. Nevetheless the Sages gave good advice that one should not marry more than four wives in order that each one would have sexual relations at least once each month. In communities where the practice is to have only one wife it is not appropriate to marry an additional wife.

Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 1:10): Rabbeinu Gershom made a cherem against those who married an additional wife. In contrast he didn’t make a ban against those who married their brother’s widow (yevama) who was childless nor an arusa. Rema: If he didn’t want to marry her but to exempt her (Maharik 101). He also didn’t apply it in a case where a mitzva was not being done for example his first wife had no children after 10 years... However others disagree and they assert that the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom applies even when it intereferes with doing a mitzvs and even in the case of yebom. Therefore in a case of a married yevam he would be required to do chalitza rather than marrying his brother’s widow (yevama). In a case that she can not be divorced such as she is insane or she refuses to accept the Get from him – then there is reason to be lenient for him to marry someone else. And surely if the first one is only betrothed but doesn’t want to get married or breakup with him. This decree of Rabbeinu Gershom was not universally accepted in all places. Rema:  It doesn’t apply only in those places where it is known not to have been adopted but otherwise it is to assumed that a particular place did accept it. Look at Y.D. 228 concerning a person who travels from a place where it is accepted to one where it was not accepted. Furthermore the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom was only decreed until the end of the 5th milenia. Rema: Nevertheless in all the Ashkenaz lands it was decreed and this practice still applies today and therefore one should not marry two women. And we force with cherem and nidoi anyone who transgressed and married two women – that he should divorce one of them. And some say that today we don’t force someone who has transgressed the Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom since we already have passed the  5th milenia but that view is not accepted. There are some who say if his wife becomes an apostate that she is given a get through another party and that is the practice in a number of places. In a place where it is not the practice, there is no need to be strict and it is permitted to marry another woman without divorcing the first.

Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 1:11): It is a good idea to make decrees and bans and shunnings against someone who marries an additional wife.

23 comments :

  1. Therefore The new practice for women who violate halocho and go to civil courts should be for a man to deposit the GET at Rabbi Abrahams Bais Din and seek to marry with a heter until such time that she drops all court orders and submits to a Din Torah.

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  2. Under what circumstances can a Heter Meah Rabbonim be issued?

    Who can issue a HMR? And who qualifies to be one of the 100 signatories to a HMR? (Anyone with smicha?)

    And when is a Heter Meah Rabbonim not needed to marry a second wife?

    I have heard that the difficulty of getting a HMR results in that a legitimate heter can cost upwards of $50,000. I don't understand why it should be so difficult to obtain, if any random 100 kollel guys or anyone with smicha can be one of the 100 signatories. Is there any reason that simply anyone with smicha cannot be a signatory?

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    Replies
    1. these issues are discussed in the Otzer HaPoskim that I linked to at the top of the post

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    2. How does the Otzer HaPoskim answer those questions?

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  3. Can a non-Ashkenazi force his wife to accept a Get (unlike an Ashkenazi who cannot due to the CRG)?

    Do non-Ashkenazi men need any heter from a Beis Din or Rov to remarry if his wife illegitimately refuses a Get? (Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom ONLY applies to Ashkenazim.)

    And is there any halachic issue with a Sephardi marrying two wives, simultaneously, today? After all, they do not have the Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom preventing it.

    And Sephardim did, indeed, have multiple wives until even modern times, before they moved to countries that had goyishe civil laws preventing it. Some Sephardim moved to Israel with multiple wives. And Rav Ovadia Yosef has a teshuva stating that Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom does NOT apply to Sephardim.

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    Replies
    1. Yabia Omer 8, Ibn Haezra 2
      Yabia Omer 5, Even HaEzer 1:8; Even HaEzer 2

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    2. Teimanim (Yemenite Jewry) still marry more than one wife. (Some came to Eretz Yisroel with their multiple wives.)

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  4. The GRA stated why he strongly supported reinstating polygamy. It will, he said, bring the G'ulah closer. The only other thing he said would help as well, is reinstating saying Bircas Cohanim everyday. That has already been reinstated by his talmidim, after they moved to Eretz Yisroel.

    The Vilna Gaon in Ma'aseh Rav Hashalem (p. 276) writes:

    "If I would be successful, in accomplishing two things, I would be idle from Torah and T'fillah and go from city to city [to get them accepted]. One is to eliminate the prohibition of Rabbeinu Gershom against taking two wives for with this the G'ulah (final redemption) will become closer, and the second that they should have bircas Cohanim every day."

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    1. he was completely unsuccessful to reinstate birkat cohenim in europe, as was his student.

      from my tzioni POV, it was the moving to EY, where birkat cohanim is done everyday, that brought the geulah closer.

      geulah isn't a gimmick, a switch that can be turned on by doing this or that "trick".

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    2. Bircas Cohanim is said everyday in EY because of the GRA's talmidim who moved to EY!!

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    3. that is a very ashkenazi-centric way of looking at things.

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    4. the Shulchan Aruch is Ashkenaz?!

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    5. i meant that claiming "Bircas Cohanim is said everyday in EY because of the GRA's talmidim who moved to EY!!"

      is an ashkenazi-centric way of looking at things

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  5. You know what else would bring the geulah closer? If we all did tshuva and stopped acting like jerks.

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    Replies
    1. Let's first try the Vilna Gaon's idea and then we'll try Raffi's idea. :-)

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  6. How will it bring the G'ulah closer?

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  7. http://www.torah.org/learning/tefilah/PrisonFires.html

    During the time of the Rishonim, a group of prominent Ashkenazic rabbis decreed that Birkas Kohanim should be recited only during Yamim Tovim (Responsa Beis Ephraim 6). The exact reasons for this decision are not known, but it is likely that it was connected to the intense hardships that their communities were experiencing at that time, which did not allow for them to feel joy. This ruling is upheld until this day and, outside of Israel, Ashkenazim recite Birkas Kohanim only on Yom Tov (Rema 128,44).

    The Vilna Gaon and his students tried very hard to reinstate the daily Birkas Kohanim, but many obstacles blocked their efforts. In one instance the Vilna Gaon was arrested on false charges the day before a public Birkas Kohanim was planned. Rav Chaim of Volozhin, the Gaon’s closest disciple, once tried as well. The night before the planned event, fire razed half the town of Volozhin, including the shul where Birkas Kohanim was planned (as cited in Responsa Mashiv Davar 2,104 and Aruch Hashulchan 128,64). Eventually these attempts were abandoned.

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    1. The Gaon's talmidim were successful in reinstating Bircas Cohanim in Eretz Yisroel.

      Now we must work on the Gaon's other goal -- of reinstating polygamy.

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    2. ערוך השולחן אורח חיים הלכות תפילה סימן קכח

      סעיף סד
      והנה ודאי אין שום טעם נכון למנהגינו לבטל מצות עשה דברכת כהנים כל השנה כולה וכתבו דמנהג גרוע הוא אבל מה נעשה וכאלו בת קול יצא שלא להניח לנו לישא כפים בכל השנה כולה ומקובלני ששני גדולי הדור בדורות שלפנינו כל אחד במקומו רצה להנהיג נשיאת כפים בכל יום וכשהגבילו יום המוגבל לזה נתבלבל הענין ולא עלה להם ואמרו שרואים כי מן השמים נגזרה כן ומצד הדין י"ל ע"פ מ"ש בסעיף מ"ט ע"פ הזוהר דבעינן שמחה דומיא דאהרן ובניו בשמיני למילואים ולזה נאמר כה תברכו אמנם זה שהיה מנהג מקדם דיו"ט שחל בשבת לא היו נושאים כפיהם כבר נתבטל בימינו כי אין במנהג זה טעם וריח כמו שהאריכו מפרשי הש"ע בזה [ט"ז סקל"ז ומג"א סק"ע] ובעל קרי מותר בנשיאת כפים [ב"י] והמחמיר לטבול תבא עליו ברכה אמנם בא"י ובמצרים ובכל אזיא נושאים הכהנים כפיהם בכל יום:

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  8. The problem with the Herem is that it nullifies the Ketubah. If a woman can refuse a divorce, then she can also extort her fee for a get, over the original Ketubah. Ashkenazi rabbis have actually caused the decline of our society and the current feminist subversion by extending the Herem.

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  9. no, it's said every day in E"Y because the Sefardim always said it. We were still here for 4000 years..

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  10. Sephardim need to pay the Ketubah and put it in escrow, and then they can act upon permission of a single Rav to take another wife, or upon a Beit Din's decision if they made some written promise in their Ketubah.

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