Is Your Partner Jealous of Your Child?

psychcentral

When you met your partner and fell in love you probably dreamed and eventually planned out a life together. For many this plan included the possibility of children. Fast-forward to having one or more children and all is perfect, right? Maybe not.

Life has a way of taking you through unexpected twists and turns and rarely, if ever, does it turn out the way you anticipated. What if one of those unexpected twists however, is your partner’s jealousy of your children?

A partner feeling jealous of his or her children is not uncommon. Children create a new dynamic within a relationship and many changes occur. It is nearly impossible to fully prepare yourself for all of them and, no matter how much you try to anticipate your own feelings and responses, you cannot.

Generally speaking, children bring a lot of joy into a relationship. But they also bring a lot of stress. Time that was once shared by the two of you is now shared by the three (or more) of you. For both partners this change can cause feelings of resentment and jealously. Because these are not considered appropriate emotions when it comes to your children, they rarely get discussed.

Jealousy in Men

Men in particular are susceptible to feelings of jealousy, especially during the infant and toddler years. Your man, who may have been the picture of a doting father-to-be, now finds himself an outsider and onlooker to a very unique bond. A bond with which he feels he cannot participate or compete.

Even as the children become more independent, a mother’s reaction to her children and her protective nature may feel exclusionary to her partner. Mother’s often immerse themselves in a child’s world and that can leave very little room for the world that existed before.

A man may feel abandoned and lonely. Where he once was the recipient of his partner’s affection and interaction, she is now completely focused on the care and well-being of this new human being. He may feel pushed aside as though he and the dog are now the only members of their own, lonely hearts club.

This can lead to jealousy of the time and affection the child is receiving. Jealousy can be a very damaging emotion. In some cases a man might become resentful disdainful of his partner and treat her poorly, in other cases a man might lose interest in his household and family and seek the companionship of others. Other men may just become withdrawn and emotionally aloof.

FBI investigates Trump as a possible security threat

Psychology Has a New Approach to Building Healthier Men

TheAtlantic

This week, the American Psychological Association, the country’s largest professional organization of psychologists, did something for men that it’s done for many other demographic groups in the past: It introduced a set of detailed guidelines for clinicians who treat men and boys. The 10 guidelines make suggestions on how to encourage fathers to engage with their kids, how to address problems that disproportionately affect men, like suicide and substance abuse, and how to steer men toward healthy behaviors. The guidelines’ development began in 2005, and has included input from more than 200 physicians and researchers.

Ths emphasis on understanding the issues men face comes at a crucial time, according to Ryon McDermott, a psychologist who helped the APA craft its new standards. Although people of all genders face no shortage of obstacles in America, “men are struggling,” he says. “The recession has hit men harder than women, men are less likely to graduate from college, men are more likely to complete suicide than women.” To help patients, the guidelines assert, psychologists need to understand what’s making their lives untenable. For a lot of men, it might be the harsh cultural expectations that can come along with manhood itself.

Blow to low carb diet as landmark study finds high fibre cuts heart disease risk

Theguardian

Eating more fibre, found in wholegrain cereals, pasta and bread as well as nuts and pulses, will cut people’s chances of heart disease and early death, according to a landmark review commissioned by the World HealthOrganization.

The authors of the review, which will inform forthcoming WHO guidelines, say their findings are good news – but incompatible with fashionable low-carb diets.

Mann told the Guardian that the research “does contribute to the debate considerably. Here we have got very strong evidence that a high-fibre diet, which for the majority of people is at least high-ish in carbohydrates, has an enormous protective effect – a wide range of diseases including diabetes, cardiovascular disease and cancer benefit from a high-carbohydrate diet.”

But he said it would not end the “diet wars”, because there were so many vested interests involved. “It’s twofold. There is the commercial vested interest, which there is an enormous amount of from chefs and celebrity chefs and so on. And there is also the professional vested interest.” This included some doctors and scientists, he said.

The review found that we should be eating at least 25g to 29g of fibre a day, with indications that over 30g is even better. Most people in the world manage less than 20g.

Among those who ate the most fibre, the analysis found a 15-30% reduction in deaths from all causes, as well as those related to the heart, compared with those eating the least fibre.

Coronary heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes and colorectal cancer were reduced by 16-24%. The results mean 13 fewer deaths and six fewer cases of coronary heart disease for every 1,000 people who eat high-fibre foods compared with those who do not.

Minimally processed fibrous foods can also help people lose weight. “The randomised controlled trials involving an increase in the intake of whole grains showed reduction in body weight and cholesterol,” says the paper published in the Lancet medical journal.

“Fibre-rich whole foods that require chewing and retain much of their structure in the gut increase satiety and help weight control and can favourably influence lipid and glucose levels,” said Mann.

It was very difficult to have high levels of fibre on a low-carbohydrate diet unless you took fibre supplements, said Mann. And “there isn’t the huge body of evidence that we’re talking about” for supplements being beneficial, he said, adding that “it’s pretty well impossible” to get enough fibre from fruit and vegetables alone.

ALLEGED VICTIM OF ABUSE DEMANDS RABBI BE CONDEMNED, SUES FORMER YESHIVA

jpost

Amitai Dan, 34, was a pupil in the prestigious Horev high school yeshiva in Jerusalem where Elon served as dean from 1987 to 2002, studying there for just one year in 2002 during grade 11.

Dan alleges that during a private meeting he had with Elon in the dean’s office to discuss personal issues, Elon touched him, stroked him, and embraced him in an inappropriately sexual manner and sought to touch his genitals, which Dan resisted.

He said that when Elon was touching him in this way he asked explicitly if such touching was permitted in Jewish law and that the rabbi told him it was.

Dan was shocked and traumatized by the incident. At first he had trouble even reconciling the fact that his yeshiva dean who he respected had acted in this way, and then tried to dismiss the incident altogether and push it out of his memory.

During the 16 years that passed, including the period of Elon’s trial and conviction for two counts of indecent assault by force against a minor, Dan says that he did not come forward with his complaints because it was hard to break the societal taboo of stating in public that he had been sexually molested and that the incident and other events in his life had presented him with challenges that he needed to overcome.

The latest allegations against Elon are that he sexually molested another young man after his 2013 conviction when he was trying to rehabilitate his public image and had begun teaching again and receiving people in private for consultation.

Dan says that this was the final straw for him as he saw those who had refused to condemn, censure and cast out Elon as having failed in their duty to protect the community.

One such figure was Rabbi Haim Druckman, perhaps the most senior and influential rabbinic figure in the National-Religious community, who publicly backed Elon after his conviction, telling the media that the judge had made a mistake in convicting the rabbi.

Druckman said that Elon should not be invalidated as a teacher and invited Elon to deliver lectures at his flagship yeshiva Ohr Etzion in Merkaz Shapira, close to Ashdod, where Druckman lives and serves as rabbi of the town.

The most recent complainant revealed audio and video footage of the assault to three rabbis, including Druckman, and the three instructed Elon to cease his public activities and seek professional help.

Druckman has yet to make any public comment on the affair or apologize for having publicly supported Elon after his conviction in 2013.

“There are rabbis who think they know everything, and rabbis who make mistakes,” Dan told The Jerusalem Post.

Did Democrats reverse border wall position after Donald Trump was elected?

https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2019/jan/09/donald-trump/trump-democrats-reverse-border-wall-position/

Our ruling

Trump said Schumer has "has repeatedly supported a physical barrier in the past along with many other Democrats. They changed their mind only after I was elected president."

Schumer, along with tens of other Democrats including former President Barack Obama, voted for the Secure Fence Act of 2006, which authorized building a fence along about 700 miles of the border between the United States and Mexico. That’s the majority of the barrier in place today along the southern border.

However, the fence was mocked as a "nothing wall" by Trump in the past and was far less ambitious, both politically and physically, than the wall Trump wants to build now.

Finally, Trump says the Democrats no longer support their previous position simply because he wants it. But Democrats have actually proposed current funding for the fencing that was approved in 2006. 

We rate this statement Mostly False.

Why the latest Paul Manafort news is a very big deal

cnn.

On Tuesday we learned -- thanks to a redaction error in a filing in the special counsel's investigation into Russian interference -- that Paul Manafort met with a Russian-linked operative named Konstantin Kilimnik during the course of the 2016 campaign. And in that meeting, according to special counsel Robert Mueller's office, Manafort discussed policies related to the Russia-Ukraine relationship and shared polling data about the 2016 campaign with Kilimnik.

That. Is. Huge.

You'll remember that President Donald Trump's constant refrain when it comes to Manafort, who has already been convicted of a series of financial crimes related to his dealing with the Ukrainian government, is that any and all charges against him happened well before he entered Trump's orbit.

"Sorry, but this is years ago, before Paul Manafort was part of the Trump campaign," tweeted Trump in October 2017. "But why aren't Crooked Hillary & the Dems the focus????"

Which, until we got a look at the accidentally unredacted material on Tuesday, was true! While you could argue -- and many people have -- that Trump should have done his due diligence on Manafort, who had spent years advising foreign governments, before hiring him to run his campaign in the spring of 2016, it was hard to dispute Trump's main point that any and all wrongdoing by Manafort happened prior to his being involved with Trump.

Except, not now.

Manafort, according to the filings, had conversations with Kilimnik, who is suspected to be a member of the Russian intelligence organization, while he was serving as the head of Trump's campaign. (Manafort's official title was "campaign chairman" but functioned as campaign manager during his time with Trump.) Those conversations apparently came even as Russian officials were hacking into the email servers at the Democratic National Committee -- which led to a series of damaging leaks via the website WikiLeaks later in 2016.

What do you want from marriage - what does your spouse want and expect?

I am finishing my Daas TORAH Volume about marriage and sexuality

As Rav Lichtenstein has pointed out there is no unique picture of marriage found in Chazal

I am interested in hearing what you think is the ideal and whether your spouse shares this view

It is clear from the letters of the Chazon Ish, Steipler and Rav Wolbe - that expectations are often wrong and are a major contributor to shalom bayis issues


please send anonymous responses

Nitel Gavriel

Nitel

Bolton and Pompeo scramble to reassure allies reeling from Trump's Syria decision

cnn

US officials are working to contain the fallout from President Donald Trump's shock announcement of a Syria troop withdrawal, flatly contradicting the President as they do so and raising questions about whether a coherent strategy exists at all.

Trump continues to qualify his statements on the US military presence in Syria, swinging from his ringing, conditions-free declaration in December that troops would be leaving "now" since ISIS had been defeated to Monday's more cautious tweet that troops would leave "at a proper pace."

The two most senior members of Trump's national security teams, meanwhile, are reassuring allies in ways that baldly contradict the President's earlier declarations.

'Not leaving'

National security adviser John Bolton, stressing the US' commitment to the Syria fight in Israel and Turkey, said Sunday that US forces wouldn't leave until ISIS has been crushed and Kurdish fighters working with US troops are protected, describing these as the President's official positions despite the fact that Trump himself hasn't publicly said the same.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, meanwhile, is traveling to eight Middle Eastern countries to stress the US "is not leaving," officials say.

In a gaggle with the traveling press en route, Pompeo denied that there was confusion from allies.

Canadian company fined for falsifying kashrut

http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/257297

 Canadian court ordered Eddie Flour Mills to pay $20,000 to the COR kashrut certification board after using the company's logo to market flour and selling it as kosher flour.

The judge later added another $5,000 sentence for possible harm to civilians. However, the judge did not order removing the products from shelves because of what he claimed was "lack of authority". The report was first reported by the Toronto Sun.

During the hearing, the judge explained that "since non-kosher products were sold to innocent consumers who buy only kosher food, it may cause those consumers to experience spiritual trauma.

Prime-time Trump faces credibility crisis

cnn

President Donald Trump will face one huge obstacle when he appeals to Americans in a prime-time Oval Office address Tuesday to unite behind his crusade for a border wall: Himself.

Trump has spent years exploiting immigration -- one of the nation's most divisive fault lines -- during an insurgent campaign and a presidency sustained by the fervor of his committed political base.

But now, the downside of that strategy is becoming evident. In his attempt to convince the nation that a genuine crisis is unfolding at the southern border, the President's arguments face extreme skepticism from those not already in his camp.

About 57% of Americans oppose Trump's wall compared with 38% in favor, according to a December CNN poll conducted by SSRS. Those numbers are similar to where they were just after Trump took office in 2017.

On Tuesday night, Trump will commandeer the symbolic might of his office in an effort to bolster a political approach that has failed to force Democrats to cave to his demand for $5 billion in wall funding amid a government shutdown now in its third week.

Trump's False Border Wall Claims

בית הדין התיר לבעל מסורב גט לשאת אישה שניה

.kikar.

למרות חוק הביגמיה וחרם דרבנו גרשום החליט בית הדין הרבני בתל אביב להתיר לבעל מסורב גט לשאת אישה שניה לאור הנסיבות המיוחדות של המקרה.

המדובר בבני זוג שנישאו לפני כשמונה שנים. כחצי שנה לאחר החתונה עבר הבעל תאונת דרכים קשה בה הוא נפצע אנושות. הוא אושפז, עבר שיקום של שנים רבות וכיום הוא נמצא בשלב שיקומי סופי לקראת חזרה לשגרה.

מספר חודשים לאחר הפציעה טסה האישה עם התינוק שנולד לביקור משפחתי בן עשרה ימים בצרפת. מאז חלפו שבע שנים ועד היום היא לא חזרה לישראל עם בנה.