Rabbi Berkowitz - advances in dealing with abuse in Chassidic community

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Refusing to apologize for errors - Short term benefits

Scientific American    [...] most apologies exact some toll on the offender, as it can be embarrassing to admit a mistake publicly or even to just one other person. And, as with Deen’s apology, the offender often suffers additional penalties as a result of the admission of guilt. Confession of a wrongdoing can damage a relationship, lead to loss of status or power, or even result in the termination of employment. These common costs may help explain the seemingly widespread reluctance to say, “I’m sorry.”  From politicians and professional athletes to friends and co-workers, denial of culpability is far too familiar.

Beyond avoiding the embarrassment and potential penalty associated with admitting a wrongdoing, new research by Tyler Okimoto and colleagues in Australia suggests that there are deeper internal motives for our refusal to apologize. Okimoto's research shows that those who refuse to express remorse maintain a greater sense of control and feel better about themselves than those who take no action after making a mistake.

Such findings may seem paradoxical, given the common wisdom that we should take responsibility for our actions and say we are sorry if we do harm. Indeed, research confirms the benefits of apologies for both victims and offenders. For victims, an apology serves as a form of moral restitution. When you apologize to a person you have offended, you convey a sense of power to that person. The victim can accept or reject the apology, and can extend or withhold forgiveness. As a result, the balance of power shifts from the offender to the offended.  Victims may assume a position of superiority when they take the moral high ground and offer mercy to the guilty party, or they may gain a sense of power over the transgressor by denying pardon. Thus for victims, the culprit's admission of guilt and contrition can be restorative.

There are upsides to apologies for the offenders too. By acknowledging personal mistakes and conveying remorse, offenders may diffuse anger and decrease the impending punishment or penalty, enhance their image in the eyes of the victim and other people, regain acceptance in a social group, or restore personal relationships. They may even reduce their own sense of guilt.

Given that apologies offer a relatively simple way to mend relations and heal wounds for victims and offenders, why do people refuse to apologize? Beyond escaping punishment, there may be some psychological benefits to standing one's ground. For example, adopting a self-righteous stance may feed one's need for power. If the act of apologizing restores power to the victim, it may also simultaneously diminish the power of the transgressor. Thus actively denying any wrongdoing may allow the offender to retain the upper hand . If one cannot deny an error entirely, minimizing the error may be the next best thing.  Perhaps one reason that many felt Deen’s apology rang hollow was that she attempted to mitigate the severity of her infraction by stating that she only made the racial slur once, with a gun pointed at her head. [...]

Correcting the shame of the distribution of the disgraceful letter of 9 rabbis against Rav "S" at the Lakewood asifa of Lev L'Achim

 On Wednesday July 3 at 9:20 , there will be a major asifa in Lakewood of Lev L'Achim. This important event will be addressed by Rav Ezriel Auerbach shlita. Despite all the holy words that will surely be spoken - it is highly unlikely that what is truly required to be spoken about will be addressed. At the previous asifa in 2010 a document of shame and degradation was distributed that condemned one of Lakewood's most distinguished talmidei chachomim for being a moser - for reporting the abuse of his son to the police. It is embarrassing enough that the 9  well known rabbis signed this disgusting document against a father whose concern was for the welfare of Lakewood's children. However these expert rabbis apparently also didn't bothering checking out the fact that the father had in fact received a letter from Rav Sternbuch telling him that he was required to report the abuse. They were apparently ignorant of the elementary fact that even without receiving a psak from Rav Sternbuch and other gedolim the father not only had the right to report a child abuser but was obligated according to the views of the gedolei hador including Rav Eliashiv, Rav Wosner, the Tzitz Eliezer and Rav Moshe Halberstam.  Their ignorance of the halachos dealing with child abuse - as clearly described in Yeshurun volume 15 -  is truly shameful and embarrassing.

To compound their shameful ignorance - they have so far failed to apologize to the talmid chachom that they publicly attacked in their letter. 

It would be appropriate that the repentance letter of Reb Dovid Epstein be distributed at this asifa . Apology letter of Reb Dovid Epstein

===============================================

Elul, 5770 [August, 2010]

PROCLAMATION

It is clear that no one in the world has the authority to establish guilt on anyone without both [the accuser and accused] coming to an accepted bais din for the matter to be heard amongst "brothers." If one does this [establishes guilt without a determination of a bais din] even if he is "as tall as a cedar tree" [a great scholar] he has made an absolute error. And more so he [the accuser] may not take any damaging action against the accused and even more so may not bring any accusation to the secular authorities. Such actions [reporting made to the secular authorities] are elucidated in [Shulchan Aruch - Jewish code of law compiled in the 161h century] Choshen Mishpat chapter 388 [which discusses the penalties for "mesira" reporting to the secular authorities]. And there can be no [Jewish law] lawful and righteous means [to report to the secular authorities] other than to first show that one has in their possession a clear detailed ruling in writing from an expert bais din that includes specifics of the matter. And if one violates this ruling and commits the deed of reporting to the secular authorities it is incumbent upon him to rectify this misdeed and do everything possible to clear the accused of any trace of allegations with the secular authorities. And it does not need to be said that it is prohibited to assist and participate with them [the secular authorities] in their efforts to persecute a Jew.

Avrohom Spitzer Dayan - Skver

Tzvi Yosef Burstien - Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta of Lakewood

Eliyahu Levine - Rosh Kolle of Kolle Choshen Mishpat

Shlomo Gisinger - Rabbi of Cong Zichron Yaakov

Chaim Ginsberg - Rosh Chabura - Beth Med rash Gevoha

Shmuel Mayer Katz- Dayan - Beth Med rash Gevoha

Yosef ZimbaI - Rabbi - Congregation Westgate

Simcha Bunim Cohen - Rabbi - Congregation Ateres Yeshaya

Meir Reuvein Berkowitz - Rabbi - Congregation Whispering Pines Sefard

A Sad Day - Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm retires after a distinguished career at Y.U. - and apologizes for his handling of sex abuse allegations

YU In accord with an agreement reached 3 years ago, Rabbi Lamm's contract expired on June 30th and he announced his retirement  as Chancellor and Rosh Yeshiva of Y.U. He has had an association with Y.U. for over 60 years as a student, faculty member, rosh yeshiva, president and chancellor. In the 6 page retirement letter he devoted four paragraphs to an apology for  his inadequate handling of sex abuse charges in the 1980's.

In the Aleinu, mishtachavim is followed by modim, modim as in thanks. But there is another meaning as well, one that holds the key to real leadership and one upon which I reflect at this important transition in my personal and professional life. Jacob’s blessing to his son Judah, Yehudah, attah yodukha achekha (Gen. 49:8) literally means “Judah, your brothers will recognize you (as their leader).” However, the word yodukha, they will recognize you, is etymologically related to the word vidui, confession and therefore teaches us that only those who can, like Judah, confess, are those who can be acknowledged as real leaders.

And it is to this I turn as I contemplate my response to allegations of abuse in the Yeshiva community. At the time that inappropriate actions by individuals at Yeshiva were brought to my attention, I acted in a way that I thought was correct, but which now seems ill conceived. I understand better today than I did then that sometimes, when you think you are doing good, your actions do not measure up. You think you are helping, but you are not. You submit to momentary compassion in according individuals the benefit of the doubt by not fully recognizing what is before you, and in the process you lose the Promised Land. I recognize now that when we make decisions we risk, however inadvertently, the tragedy of receiving that calamitous report: tarof toraf Yosef, “Joseph is devoured,” all our work is in vain, all we have put into our children has the risk of being undone because of a few well intentioned, but incorrect moves. And when that happens—one must do teshuvah. So, I too must do teshuvah.

True character requires of me the courage to admit that, despite my best intentions then, I now recognize that I was wrong. I am not perfect; none of us is perfect. Each of us has failed, in one way or another, in greater or lesser measure, to live by the highest standards and ideals of our tradition — ethically, morally, halakhically. We must never be so committed to justifying our past that we thereby threaten to destroy our future. It is not an easy task. On the contrary, it is one of the greatest trials of all, for it means sacrificing our very egos, our reputations, even our identities. But we can and must do it. I must do it, and having done so, contribute to the creation of a future that is safer for innocents, and more ethically and halakhically correct.

Biblical Judah was big enough to admit that he was small. He confesses a mistake. He can experience guilt and confront it creatively. After the incident with Tamar, he does not offer any tortured rationalizations to vindicate himself. He says simply and forthrightly: tzadkah mimmeni (Gen. 38:26), she was right and I was wrong. And with that statement Judah is transformed into a self-critical man of moral courage. He concedes guilt. He knows that he is guilty with regard to Joseph, and together with his brothers he says aval ashemim anachnu, “indeed, we are guilty.” Pushed to the limits of the endurance of his conscience, he rises to a new stature and achieves a moral greatness that is irrefrangible and pellucid.

This is what I am modeh as I reflect on my tenure. Tzadkah mimmeni. I hope that those who came forth and others who put their trust in me will feel that faith vindicated and justified.  Modeh ani.

One might think it appropriate to mark the formal end of a career in avodat ha-kodesh with the recitation of Havdalah, the blessing which marks the end of the sacred period of holy days. Yet my whole career in avodat ha-kodeh has been one of havdalah.

Prohibitions Before Washing Negel Vasser – An Overview by Rabbi Yair Hoffman

5tjt     There are three things that should not be done before one washes Negel Vasser in the morning.

1. One should not touch the open areas of the face before washing Negel Vasser on the  hands:  These are the mouth, the nose, the ears and the eyes.  This is based upon the Gemorah in Shabbos (108b) which indicates that there is a danger to these orifices on account of the Ruach Rah that exists on the hands before it is washed off.  The Gemorah gives a warning to other body parts as well, but Rashi explains that these areas do not refer to Negel Vasser but to other times.   There is a debate as to whether the outer sections maybe touched, such as the lips, outer nose, outer ear, and eye lids.  It is best to be stringent according to the Mishna Brurah (MB 4:12). [...]

Rabbi Adlerstein calls for less heated rhetoric and a greater understanding of the other side

Cross Currents   [...]  But is it fair to be conclusory about Piron? Should we not ask what kind of cultural ethos he wants to see. Does he want to cut of the peyos of residents of Meah Shearim? Does he want to lower the charedi birthrate so they won’t take over? Or does he want to see charedi soldiers in Tzahal (and DL ones, and secular ones) met with a smile and appreciation? Much more importantly – does it matter so much what Piron (a BT, rav and a ram!) wants? What kind of change is the voting public looking for? Is it fair to assume that they want what Piron wants? Should we not at least ask the question? No, I don’t think Rabbi Grylak is paranoid, but I think he is helping to ease his readership down the path of maximizing rejection of the other side, while paying minimum attention to their legitimate concerns and needs. [Aside: Last week, Hamodia put together an evening of messages on the topic by important speakers around the world. They did stay close to the predictable message, with one important exception. Rabbi Aharon Lopiansky of Silver Spring (a colleague on the editorial board of Klal Perspectives) spoke, among other things of the need to understand what the other sides is saying. He pointed to an Akeidah (Kedoshim #65) who says that women who truly care about their appearance use mirrors that maximize, rather than minimize, their blemishes. That way, they can better attend to them cosmetically. Listening to our critics, with their inflated language, helps us focus on our own faults. You can listen to his presentation by calling  718-650-6050  and selecting option 6.]

Rabbi Grylak asks in large type, “Does a demand for forced social change fit in with the concept of democracy as you know it in the United States?” Unfortunately, he picked the wrong week to ask this question. Rabbi Grylak, meet Justice Kennedy, who led the US Supreme Court in a massive exercise in social engineering last week. Rabbi Grylak also asks, “From a democratic point of view, do you see a possibility for the US government to dictate the nature of education in keeping with the American ethos? Can they do this in Satmar, in Lakewood?” Maybe it is time for another US visit, Rabbi Grylak. Indeed, that is the law of the land. Some may try to operate in violation of the laws mandating general studies instruction (even for home schoolers!), but the laws in fact exist. They uphold the need of a democratic society to assure that children are given both a chance at vocational success as well as share some information about the United States that is meant to bring about some social cohesion.

Like Yair Lapid, what I say I would like to see is not the same as what I would settle for as first steps along the way. Rabbi Grylak’s concession that over-the-top rhetoric by any camp leads to over-the-top reaction by the opposing camp is a good place to start, and I am happy to have been the shliach to make it happen.

And, to illustrate the complexity and nuance of life, I will recall for readers the time some years ago that I joined an Aguda mission to Israel. We spent some time in Knesset; I was chosen to deliver a message from the group at a meeting with MK Chaim Ramon. My piece de resistance was a beautiful appreciation of the role of the beis medrash and learning as the source of strength of the Nation. It was delivered with the apparent approval of the other participants. It was authored by Chaim Nachman Bialik.

Daniel Moaz - Found guilty of killing parents

Haaretz    A man was found guilty on Monday of brutally stabbing and killing his parents at their Jerusalem home, and was sentenced to two consecutive life terms. 

The Jerusalem District Court convicted Daniel Maoz on all the charges brought against him, including two counts of murder and destruction of evidence.  [...]

The judges compared the events that unfolded to "a horror film" as they noted that Maoz demonstrated no remorse for his actions. 

"At the very least, the defendant should have felt the requisite pain, guilt and remorse. Alas, the defendant did not regret his actions, and tried to slander his twin brother – a claim that was dismissed out of hand."[...]

Rav Yitzchok Scheiner - Yesh Atid and Bayit Yehudi are a “reform movement” that want to destroy Charedi Judaism

Guest post by RaP

   Rav Yitzchok Scheiner Delivers a Tough Message

Significance of Rav Salanter meeting Rav Hirsch?

I found the following description strange on many levels. Rav Salanter had been in Germany since 1857 dealing with kiruv issues and had not met Rav Hirsch nor was he familiar with his writings. In addition despite being involved full time with kiruv he had not apparently not mastered German after 15 years? (Prof. Etkes said he knew enough to read the newspapers.) This account indicated that they didn't really have much to talk about nor did they meet again or work together on a common project. In addition Rav Hirsch was devoting years pursuing the legal right for his congregation to separate from the official government sanctioned Jewish congregation - something that not only his congregation wasn't interested in nor did the leading halachic authority of Germany - Rav Wurtzburger - think it desirable and basically snubbed Rav Hirsch over this matter. I would have assumed that meeting with Rav Hirsch as well as Rav Hildesheimer  and the Malbim would be primary goals - working to stop Reform and the Haskala - but it didn't happen. Why not?

[This is from Rabbi Elias' edition of the 19 Letters] In the Israelit, on March 22, 1906, Rabbi Naftali Hertz Ehrmann published an account of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter's stay in Berlin  about thirty years earlier and of his desire to meet Rabbi S. R. Hirsch. Translation from (The Light, on 14 Nisan 5738):

At about this time, Rav Shimshon (ben R'foel) Hirsch arrived in  Berlin. He often came to Berlin at the beginning of the 1870's in order  to prepare the way for the" Austrittsgesetz, ,,' which was finally passed  in 1876. Three years older than Rav Yisroel, he was always under  great strain and beset with many different types of work which made  great demands on him at all hours of the day and night throughout his  stays in Berlin. He sought out ministers, ministerial advisers, and  influential representatives in every area and, through personal represen­tation of the case, tried to win over the authoritative factions in favor  of the law. In the evenings, his correspondence and writing awaited  him, and this often kept him occupied until well into the night. Rav  Yisroel had a great longing to become acquainted with Rav Hirsch and  to hear his views on the measures for consolidation of traditional Jewry  in Russia. He had great respect for the regenerator of German Jewry,  and no one else was more deeply convinced of the desperate need of  Russian Jewry for such a personality. Questions of etiquette-regarding  which of the two was to visit the other first-did not exist for Rav  Yisroel. He asked me (as I was taking care of a few small duties for  Rav Hirsch during his stay) to ask Rav Hirsch when would be the most convenient time to visit him .... When I saw how the time of this great  man was so completely taken, up, I hardly had the courage to mention  Rav Yisroel's wish, for I knew that its fulfillment would cost him more  precious time ... I therefore ventured to remark that the matter was not  so urgent and the visit could easily be postponed for a few days.  However, Rav Hirsch refused to hear of it, and asked me to ask Rav  Yisroel to honor him with his visit the very next evening ...

More than 30 year have passed since the memorable evening. But  the overwhelming impression of the meeting between these two great  personalities has remained with me until this day. Their similarities and  their differences; the overflowing wisdom of their thoughts, and the  restrained modesty of their spoken words. The expression in Rav  Hirsch's eyes from which his great, noble soul seemed to pour forth,  and the flashing sparks which shot out from the gaze of Rav Yisroel  and blazed around his great learned brow. All that and so much more­ all of it remains in my memory as vividly as if it had just happened  yesterday. How different were the two great men in speech and bear­ing, and in various other external aspects which draw the attention; and  yet how similar and related were they in their thoughts and their  spiritual life-in short, in everything which makes a man a Jew. Never  have I sensed the binding and brotherly strength of the Torah l'tzaref  es hab'riyos more deeply than in the moment when the two men  reached out their hands to each other. Rav Yisroel who, even in  general conversation, never let a word leave his lips which had not  been carefully considered from all sides, and who knew in addition  how precious Rav Hirsch's time was - particularly then - came straight  to the matter which lay on his heart more than on anyone else's. He  explained the dangers which he believed threatened the future of  Russian Jewry and asked Rav Hirsch for his views on how best to  combat them. Rav Hirsch, in his modesty, thought that he was not  familiar enough with Jewish life in Russia to be able to express an  authoritative opinion. Rav Yisroel however, he reasoned, must surely  have thought about the problem a great deal himself, and he therefore  asked him to first state his opinion. Rav Yisroel pointed out that the  best means of preserving the younger generation for Jewry - to win  back their respect - was through literature in the Russian language  permeated with the true Jewish spirit. The exceedingly salutary results  which would ensue from writings of this nature were to him quite  indisputable. The tragedy was, however, that those Russian Jews who were permeated with the truth of Judaism could not write Russian, and  those who had acquired a secular education and had mastered the  Russian language had broken with traditional Judaism. So that the  production of such writings seemed unimaginable. Rav Hirsch suggest­  ed that if this was the case, then perhaps it might be proper to translate  into Russian works written in the German language for this purpose.  The translation, if necessary, could even be done by a non-Jew. This  idea met with Rav Yisroel's full approval, and he asked Rav Hirsch to  specify a few suitable works for this purpose. Rav Hirsch suggested the  works of Salomon Plessner. At this point, I allowed myself to enquire  whether the writings of Rav Hirsch, himself, would not be especially  qualified, particularly such a work as The 19 Letters. Rav Hirsch  replied that it would naturally please him greatly if, through a translation of his writings, this great undertaking could be accomplished.  Neither was fundamentally opposed to a Hebrew translation. I later  heard this from their own mouths. But they believed that the great  benefits which they hoped would result from the propagation of the  spirit of these writings could be effected more easily and more perma­nently if the remedy was given in the same form as the disease had  been transmitted. On the way home, Rav Yisroel asked me to procure  for him that very evening a copy of The 19 Letters and to read through  it with him so that he might be able to form an opinion for himself.  That was, however, easier said than done. At that time, Rav Yisroel  had hardly begun to read German, and so we read until deep into the  night and for still another few days after that, until we finished the first  letter. Another few weeks passed before we finally completed the book.  Rav Yisroel summed up his opinion of it, "The book must not only be  translated into Russian, but also into loshon ha-kodesh."

Negel Vasser – An Overview by Rabbi Yair Hoffman

5tjt    When we wake up in the morning we wash our hands from a vessel in a specific manner: three times on each hand, switching off each time.This is called “Negel Vasser.”  There are two customs as to when the blessing on Neggel Vasser is recited.  The prevalent custom is to recite the bracha immediately (MB 6:9), but some recite it together with the morning Brachos in Shacharis. 

Generally speaking, we recite Brachos before we do the actual Mitzvah.  Why is it different for Negel Vasser?  The answer is that when our hands are impure, we shouldn’t recite a bracha!  So here, Chazal enacted the bracha afterward.

What is the reason that we wash our hands in the morning?  This is actually a four way debate between the Rosh, the Rashba, the Orchos Chaim (Rav Aharon of Narbonne), and the Zohar.  The Rosh (Responsa #61) writes that the sages enacted this obligation because our hands invariably touch parts of the body during the night that should be covered, and we must wash our hands before praying.

The Rashba (Responsa 1:191) writes that we are renewed every morning based upon the Pasuk in Eichah (3:23).  Therefore, the sages enacted that we must wash our hands from a vessel just as the Kohanim wash their hands from the Kior (a vessel) in the Bais HaMikdash.

The Orchos Chaim (cited in the Drisha in OC Siman 4) writes that during the nighttime an impure spirit rests upon the hands and does not leave until the hands are washed three times. The Shla (Chulin, Derech Chaim) explains that there are three separate impure forces.  Therefore, three washings are necessary to remove them.

The Zohar (Parshas VaYaishev 184) states that when the Neshama leaves it leaves a spirit of Tumah, impurity in the body.  When the soul re-enters, the impurity travels to the limbs.  Water can remove the impurity from the hands.    Why the limbs?  The Shla explains that the limbs correspond to the outer extensions of the universe, where the powers of impurity are strongest.

How does the Shulchan Aruch rule?  He rules that a bracha is only recited when both the Rosh’s reason and the Rashba’s reasons apply.  The other reasons may be reasons to wash one’s hands, but as far as the sages enactment goes, the Rosh and the Rashba are the main reasons. [...]

My Guidelines for Reporting Abuse Cases

I was recently asked in a Face Book discussion about the guidelines I use for reporting abuse cases. The issue was whether a particularly horrific case involving allegations of incest, gang rape and torture should be published. I decided not to publish it at present. I was asked why I view this case differently than the Weberman and Kolko cases which also involved allegations but which I have extensive reporting? I thought it might be useful to publish here my response to the question.

I don't automatically put a news item on my blog just because it involves accusations of abuse - it involves a judgment as to the costs vs benefits. In the case of Kolko and Weberman - I had additional reports from those I consider reliable that the charges were valid and more important that significant pressure was being applied to have the charges dropped. Therefore there was a major need to counterbalance the community pressure in these cases. A case that is widely covered in the secular press is generally also reported to avoid the impression of cover up. A situation where there are multiple victims is also reported in order to encourage reporting to the police. In situations where the perpetrator has escaped - I generally report it so hopefully he will get caught. Cases that illustrate that the abuser is often a respected or beloved individual is also reported in order to break down the stereotype that a crazy stranger is the abuser. In the present case - there was a single accuser, no indication that there was any evidence or that she was viewed as trustworthy. More important the details reported were especially horrific. I could not find other news sources that were reporting it. I could not think of an obvious benefit to publishing this anonymous case and the negative consequences of publicizing it are obvious. I often - though not always - publicize convictions so that people understand that abuse is not a rare event. There is also the issue of balance - I don't want to simply report all the negative items about our community - people stop reading the items or assume that is all that is going on in the world. in fact I will also publicize related articles from outside our community if it helps provide a context for abuse - such as the Penn State scandal or the Catholic Church

Beth Alexander fights an insensitive Austrian justice system to regain her twin boys

Vienna Review   by Nina Cranen and Franziska Zoidl    

 Law without Justice

As in most countries in the West, Austrian family law is meant to serve the best interests of the children. But what if Justitia errs? [....]

Family law has a long tradition in Europe, either as Catholic countries or as Protestant.” However, that should not have mattered here, as both parents are observant Jews, a tradition in which mothers are held in very high regard. “Respect for motherhood is deeply rooted in Jewish culture,” confirmed the Viennese rabbi. Jewish identity itself is, in fact, matrilineal, i.e., being passed on through the mother. A child born of a Jewish father and Christian mother, for example, is not considered a Jew.

However, for Judge emeritus Lilian Hofmeister, Alexander’s case comes as no surprise in the Austrian legal system: “This is particularly true in custody wars over sons,” Judge Hofmeister said. “There seems to be a new ‘rule of thumb’, which states: ‘Sons belong to their fathers’,” she said. “In the course of my pro bono work, I have come across cases that I wouldn’t have thought possible from my understanding of the law,” she added. While she was not familiar with all the details of this case, she said that especially with parents raising their children religiously, courts often prefer the fathers to the mothers. “I often get the impression that fathers use women as baby machines,” Dr. Hofmeister said, “As soon as the baby is born, they want to get rid of the mother(…), with foreigners, it is even easier.” As a social critic and feminist, she sees the situation in Austria as “a ‘war against women as mothers’, something not yet being examined by the courts.”

As the twins were born in Austria, Alexander’s case is governed by Austrian law: After a 1.5-year custody battle, Judge Susanne Göttlicher granted full and immediate custody to her husband, basing her decision on one psychological report. In the report, a court-appointed psychologist deemed her unfit to parenting: “The mother has limited parenting abilities (…) she inadequately interacts and bonds with her children.” For Alexander, the report has been fabricated – a procedure that has just caused a scandal in Salzburg, where a courtappointed psychologist is believed to have written 13 reports for courts predominantly in custody wars, using pre-fabricated textual elements and having manipulated the psychological tests.

To prove the report wrong, Alexander had herself re-assessed privately, leading to a second court-commissioned evaluation, by Dr. Werner Leixnering. Both reports contradicted the initial report and stated that she was perfectly sane and a good mother. To date, Judge Göttlicher has declined to accept these reports in evidence. Claiming bias, Alexander filed for a replacement of the judge in January, which has put the case on hold for nearly six months. [...]

However, just before press time, a decision was handed denying Alexander’s request for a change of venue, stating that “a transfer of jurisdiction to the Bezirksgericht Josefstadt is not in the interest of the children at the moment.” But with every day that passes, the legal argument grows that the children are now “used to their father”, as the psychiatrist Wörgötter knows from her 15-year experience as a court-appointed expert. [...]

Modeh Ani – An Overview by Rabbi Yair Hoffman

5tjt    [...] The Mishna Brurah quotes it and writes, “When we arise in the morning we say, ‘Modeh Ani lefanecha, melech chai v’kayam, shehechezarta bi nishmasi b’chemla, rabah emunasecha.’ This means, ‘Before You, I thank you, O’ living and everlasting King, that You have returned my soul to me in mercy.. How great is your faithfulness!’

Why do we say this? The reason is that our bodies are not just hydro-carbon based cells, proteins, water and minerals.  We are also imbued with a Neshama, a soul, – called in Sefer Iyov a “Chailek Elokah Mimaal. – A Divine portion from Above.”  When we sleep at night, our Neshamos leave our physical bodies and arise to Heaven.  Hashem in His Chemla – kindness, returns our Neshama to us when we wake up in the morning.  The Modeh Ani is a way of expressing gratitude which makes us into better people, but it is also more than this.  There is an element of yearning for Geulah in it too.

The last words, “Great is your faithfulness is based upon a verse in Aicha (3:23), “They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness.”  The Psikta Zutrasa explains that since each and every morning You renew our souls, we know that in the future You will redeem us as well.

The words “that You have returned my soul to me” come from the Avudraham, a Spanish Rishon, in his Hilchos Krias Shma.  Yet, he did not advocate this formula as something to recite each morning upon awakening.  It seems that the author of the Seder HaYom combined these elements together in conceiving of the Modeh Ani. [...]

5TJT Op-Ed on Supreme Court Ruling Repealing Doma

Five Towns Jewish Times    We are deeply saddened by the trajectory of this week’s Supreme Court ruling concerning the Defense of Marriage Act.

The Founders of this great nation embraced the idea of building a moral and virtuous society in this country in a manner that would enable all peoples to be able to fulfill both their inalienable rights as well as their inalienable duties.

These inalienable rights and duties are part of what can be called Natural Law.  From Moses to Cicero, to Washington, Jefferson, andFranklin, Natural Law has always defined the distinction between that which is just and that which is unjust, between right and wrong.  The idea of “Justice at Nuremberg” was characterized by Natural Law, since according to Nazi German law – the murder of Jews, gypsies, and certain other groups was entirely legal.  No society or government should be able to legislate laws or rules that undermine these Natural Laws. Just as a government is proscribed from legalizing murder and theft, so too may it not undermine other Natural Laws.

Marriage has been defined by the very fabrics of history, universal cultural norms, and Natural Law as being between man and woman.  Marriage combines in a union of life, love, and fidelity two people, capable of fathering and mothering offspring. It is more than mere kinship or friendship, it is a social and legal bond designed by Natural Law to procreate and continue the existence of mankind.  Undermining an institution that has been designed by history and Natural Law to vouchsafe the future of mankind can be compared to unleashing chemical and nuclear hazards that can also undermine mankind’s future.  Same gender marriages undermine Natural Law.

Furthermore, once we begin to redefine the basic integrity of the family structure in this nation, state, or city, we begin to fall down a slippery slope.  Such a move will give rise to a movement to legalize the right to have multiple wives.  It will give legitimacy to those who wish to allow marriages to one’s sister, daughter, son, or to two sisters simultaneously.  It will even give legitimacy to those who wish to enter the bonds of matrimony with favorite pets and animals. 

Modern social science and scientific inquiry has demonstrated the need of both a mother and a father to help foster the normal psycho-social development of children.  While there are times when this is not possible, government should make every effort to improve the ideal environment in which children should be raised.  Redefining marriage will lead to a disaster similar to that which Romania experienced in its orphan crisis in the late sixties and early seventies.  The Romanian orphan crisis led to a situation where thousands of children were raised outside the structure of families as envisioned by Natural Law.  The results were catastrophic and dysfunctional behaviors.  There will always be exceptions, but it is clearly in the state’s interest to ensure that future children be given the best chances of success possible.  Redefining marriages against the state interest in order to allow some members of society to co-opt a term is wrong. [...]