Yeshiva education causes low self-esteem & susceptibility to Internet addiction

Just noticed this haskoma that Rav Reuven Feinstein gave to "Bringing Out the Best" by Rabbi Roll. The book describes how to build self-esteem based on the wisdom of the Alter of Slobadka. What isinteresting is Rabbi Feinstein stating:

 "In yeshivos today there is literally a pandemic of low self-esteem. An outcome of this most horrible condition, is that once a person has achieved a state where self-worth and self-value are diminished, that person is literally open to all foreign pressures, both within and without our community. Once those pressures are given free reign, the outcome is without exception, negative."

I asked someone who is a principal about this and he said simply it is a serious problem in the litvishe yeshivas but not in the chassidic or Sefardic ones. He said it is an inherent result of the elitist philosophy that if you are not the best in learning you are nothing. He agreed that this is a reflection of the success of the view espoused by Rav Dessler in Michtav M'Eliyahu. See Rav Dessler - producing gedolim at expense of others. In the chassidic and sefardic yeshiva systems it is possible to have self-esteem in ways other than being the top guy in learning.

My question is since the pandemic of low self-esteem is apparently a direct and inevitable consequence of the yeshiva education itself than why is it being lamented? This is akin to the son who killed his parents and then pleads for mercy since he is an orphan. You can't deliberately develop an educational system that inevitably destroys self-esteem and then bemoan the fact that yeshiva kids go off the derech because they have low self-esteem.

This is related to my recent post about the dangers of the Internet. While the yeshiva world is warning of the huge danger that the Internet presents to our communities - they seem to be ignoring the risk factors which make people susceptible to Internet addiction. One of them happens to be low self-esteem.

In short, it is well within the capability of the yeshiva world to build up self esteem in their students and thus diminish the real dangers from the outside secular world - but they chose not to and instead focus on restricting access to the outside world. An exercise in futility.

Is Yoga avoda zara?

NYTimes

Yoga is practiced by about 15 million people in the United States, for reasons almost as numerous — from the physical benefits mapped in brain scans to the less tangible rewards that New Age journals call spiritual centering. Religion, for the most part, has nothing to do with it.

But a group of Indian-Americans has ignited a surprisingly fierce debate in the gentle world of yoga by mounting a campaign to acquaint Westerners with the faith that it says underlies every single yoga style followed in gyms, ashrams and spas: Hinduism. [...]

Falsely asserting that Rabbinic law is Torah law - to ensure compliance

Daas Torah page 209

Permitted

Chasam Sofer (Kovetz Teshuvos #58): I wrote to you previously that “Innovation is prohibited by the Torah.” I did not write that Orlah or Kelayim…but innovation. That is because I understood from our Sages that it is required to be one who preserves the Torah. They warned against those who provide an opening and seek leniencies for the radicals of our people who desire them. If these radicals find a minute crack, they will greatly expand it into a breach…. Therefore, it is best to elevate and exaggerate the nature of the prohibition [and say that Rabbinic prohibitions are Torah prohibitions]… That is because due to our many sins there is a great increase today of people who say they have no concern with Rabbinic prohibitions since G-d did not command them… We find the wicked writing on Shabbos because they claim it is only a Rabbinic prohibition. They have no concern with anything which has been commanded only by our Sages and not by G-d Himself…

Prohibited

Maharetz Chajes (Darchei Hora'ah #6): I disagree with the Chasam Sofer’s ruling that one should say that a Rabbinic prohibition is a Torah prohibition i.e., to upgrade the nature of prohibitions. Even though we see our Sages viewed it permitted to frighten with their descriptions of the seriousness of prohibitions as we see in the Rambam (Sanhedrin 7:4)…They said that certain things are equivalent to murder and worshipping idols. Many other things they have described as deserving of the death penalty. All this is only to frighten and scare. However to say that a Rabbinic prohibition is really a Torah prohibition - the Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 2:9) clearly states that this itself violates the Torah prohibition of adding to the Torah. Such a practice also violates the Torah prohibition of lying - even if it is done for a good reason. Our Sages were always very concerned to identify and keep separate that which is from the Torah and which are Rabbinical legislation - even if there were no practical halacha involved.

Rav Moshe Feinstein (Dibros Moshe Kesubos Tshuva 3:6): You assert that it is correct to describe something as a Torah prohibition - when in fact it is fully permitted or only a rabbinic prohibition. You make this claim even though you know that the Rambam (Hilchos Mamrim 2:9) views it as a violation of the Torah prohibition of adding to the Torah. You claim that it is permitted when there is an emergency need to establish something and have people accept its validity. Your justification is from the fact that extra-legal punishments are permitted in emergency situations. However, when you give such extra-legal punishments and claim they are from the Torah, the Rambam rules that this is a violation of the prohibition of adding to the Torah. Everybody would agree that there is a prohibition to falsify that which was given at Sinai - whether for a leniency or restriction. The Yam shel Shlomo (Bava Kama 4:9) rules that such upgrading of the prohibition is a form of rejecting the Torah itself and in fact he requires martyrdom rather than to alter the status of a halacha…Obviously he views it as much more serious a transgression than the sin of adding to the Torah…Furthermore even when extra-legal punishment is given for emergency situations it is required that it be openly stated that this punishment is extra-legal…

Krav Maga: Israeli Self-Defense Goes Global

Time

Getting pummeled by three men with kicks, punches and jabs is not how I typically spend my vacation. Yet there I was on Military Base 8 defending myself from a trio of Israeli attackers. But my assailants — brothers Avi and Shlomi Moyal and Haim Sasson — weren't trying to rob me, they were simply doing their job: training me to protect myself via the increasingly hip Israeli self-defense technique known as Krav Maga.

Literally "close contact" in Hebrew, Krav Maga has its roots in 1930s Europe, where its founder, Slovakia-born Imi Lichtenfeld, developed the martial art to protect himself from anti-Semitic street gangs. A decade later, Lichtenfeld had immigrated to Israel, where he introduced his distinctive fighting system to the nation's then fledgling military, which made it part of its combat training. Today, Krav Maga is a veritable international phenomenon, with the Los Angeles–based Krav Maga Worldwide offering instruction to over 230 civilian affiliates in 17 countries and 500 law-enforcement agencies throughout the U.S. Embraced by the FBI and SWAT teams alike, Krav Maga is also a staple of high-end gyms across the globe, where a faster-paced and less-combative version provides a workout that could literally save your life. [...]

Absolute refutations and absolute answers are rare

Daas Torah page 206

Ramban (Introduction to Milchemes HaShem): For those who look at my sefer, don’t say in your heart that all my responses to the Ba’al HaMeor are in my eyes absolutely correct and obviously true and would therefore force everyone to acknowledge them. For everyone who studies our Talmud is well aware that concerning disputes between the commentaries that there are no absolute proofs or absolutely unanswerable questions. In fact, in this area of wisdom, things are not clear and unambiguous as we find in mathematical proofs. The main effort is to show that one position is more likely and more reasonable than the alternatives - rather then to show that one is entirely correct and the other is entirely wrong.

Skeptic who also rejects truth worse than fool who believes everything

Daas Torah page 203

Rabbi Nachman (Sichos HaRan 103): It is better to be the fool who believes in everything’ (Mishlei 15:15). In other words, it is better to believe and have faith - even if you end up believing in stupidity and lies - if you at least also believe in the truth. This is far superior to the other extreme of being a cynical skeptic who successfully rejects stupidity and lies but at the same time also rejects the truth because of his reflexive skepticism and ridicule of all beliefs. This is what Chazal (Eduyos 5:6) say, ‘It is better that I be called a fool all my life and not be wicked for a moment before G﷓d’.

Maharal :Silencing questions & suppressing dissent indicates a weak religion

Daas Torah page 202

Maharal (Be’er HaGolah #7): One should not reject something which is against one’s views…especially if it is not presented as an attack on religion but is simply is an honest expression of the other person’s understanding of faith. Even if it is against one’s religious faith, he should not say, “Be quiet and shut your mouth.” Because if one silences sincere questions there will not be a clarification of that person’s religious understanding. In fact, such a person should be encouraged to speak and fully express how he feels. If sincere questions are silenced that is indicative that the religion is weak and needs to be protected from inquiry. This attitude is the opposite of what some people think. They mistakenly think that silencing questions strengthens religious faith. In fact however suppressing of dissent and questions indicates a weak religion. Thus, we find with our ancestors that even if they found something in books against religion they would not simply reject it…

Rabbis who insist that their students are subordinate forever

Daas Trah page 202

Maharik (12:62): There are some rabbis who want to dominate their students more than is appropriate and they assert that whoever has been a student even as a child is forever subordinate to them and can never disagree with them in any issue. They claim that this is true even if the student has become their equal or even their superior in learning because they assert that the main factor is where the relationship started not where it is now. They furthermore assert that even if the rabbi has clearly erred or behaves incorrectly, that disagreeing with the rabbi is the same as contradicting G-d and other such claims. The answer to this is that even if the student is forever subordinate to his teacher as these rabbis assert, nevertheless is quite obvious that that is only in relationship to honoring him by standing up for him or ripping his garment irreversibly in mourning for him. However, concerning matters of Heaven e.g., he saw his teacher err in Halacha which is a chilul HaShem - there is no requirement to honor his teacher. This can readily be seen in the many examples in the gemora such as the events with Rabban Gamliel (Berachos 26b)…

Blogger released from Egyptian jail after four years

CNN

A blogger who endured a four-year stint in an Egyptian prison for his writings has been released, saying he was jailed for defying convention.

Abdel Kareem Nabil -- known by his blogger name, Kareem Amer -- is a self-proclaimed secularist who was convicted and imprisoned by Egypt for "spreading information disruptive of public order and damaging to the country's reputation," "incitement to hate Islam" and "defaming the president of the republic," according to a statement from the Committee to Protect Journalists.[...]

Elisha ben Abuya became a heretic because he couldn't resolve a contradiction to the Torah

Kiddushin (39b): R’ Yaakov said: “There is no reward for mitzvos in this word. For example, the Torah says concerning the two mitzvos of honoring parents and sending the mother bird from her nest, that one’s life will be prolonged and go well. A proof that there is no reward in this world can be seen if someone’s father asked him to climb up the a nest to fulfill the mitzva of sending away the mother bird and thus fulfill both these mitzvos and yet he falls and dies on the way down the ladder. Obviously there would be no happiness or long life resulting from doing these mitzvos in this world, so it must be that the reward of mitzvos is in the next world. However, perhaps this scenario has never happened and thus there is no proof? R’ Yaakov in fact saw this happen… Yet R’ Eleazar has asserted that those who are involved in mitzvos are not harmed? … But the case that R’ Yaakov saw involved a weak ladder so that harm was likely and where harm is likely one must not rely on miracles. This principle of not relying on miracles is learned from Shmuel who was afraid of being killed by Shaul. [Thus, the principle that there is no guarantee of reward in this world has been proved]. If Acher [Elisha ben Abuyah] had understood this principle propounded by his nephew R’ Yaakov he would not have sinned. Acher saw something of this nature. Others say that he saw the tongue [from his mutilated corpse] of the righteous Chutspis being dragged in the street by pigs. He lamented, “The mouth that has uttered pearls of Torah now licks the dust.” Thereafter he rejected Torah observance and became a sinner.

We are commanded to know how to answer heresy

from Daas Torah page 192

Rashbatz (Magen Avos 2:19): … The Sages have commanded that we diligently learn Torah in order that we should be able to refute their claims. In the time of the gemora these apikorsim would antagonize the rabbis with their claims from the Bible. Our Sages commanded that we be diligent in learning Torah in order to be able to refute the claims of the apikorsim. In addition, it was necessary to decree a special beracha against heretics in the Amida - Berchas HaMinim. Furthermore, we have been commanded to know how to answer heretics. Therefore, we have assumed a leniency to learn their wisdom so that we can demonstrate to them on their own terms that they have no refutation of Torah. This study of their wisdom is not related to the warning that “whoever reads the external books has lost his portion in the World to Come.” That prohibition only refers to their books which are lacking in wisdom and are just a waste of time. Similarly, the prohibition against learning Greek wisdom does not refer to intellectual endeavors but refers to a specific skill, learned in those times, of speaking in hints. Even that would be technically permitted except for a specific historical occurrence that led to a decree against it. … Therefore, those books that are based upon logical proofs were not included in the prohibition. Someone who studies them can accept that which is true and should endeavor to refute that which is against the Torah. This is what we find with Rabbi Meir who learned from Elisha ben Abuyah who had become a heretic. The gemora says it was comparable to a pomegranate. He ate the valid content and threw away the peel…”

Founder of Human Rights Watch slams the organization he established for moral failures in its treatment of Israel.

JPost by Robert Berstein

You may wonder why a man just shy of his 88th birthday would get up at five in the morning to fly to Omaha to give a speech. Frankly, since accepting this kind offer, I’ve wondered myself. Here’s why. Having devoted much of my life to trying to make the Universal Declaration of Human Rights come alive in many places in the world, I have become alarmed at how some human rights organizations, including the one I founded, are reporting on human rights in the Middle East.

In reading about the discussions and actions of students on American campuses, I learned, of course, that the Israel-Palestine issues were very polarized, sometimes hostile, and that a lot of the hostility was by students angered over Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians and the endless process of trying to establish a second state.

I know we all believe in free speech.

We believe in equality for women. We believe in tolerance of each other’s religious beliefs and in an open campus. [...]

Internet dangers: Family & personality risk factors

In frum circles there is a constant clamor against the Internet as something which must be banned, censored and controlled. The director of one major organization told me that the greatest threat to our community is internet. Ignored in all of this - as with other issues such as off the derech children - is the failure of our family, community and schools to address personality risk factors as well as interpersonal and social risk factors that they create or fail to ameliorate. Internet isn't simply some external evil created to destroy innocent soul. It is a powerful tool for good and evil. It harms those who are susceptible. Those susceptibilities need at least if not more attention as the banning and controlling of internet access. This denying of at least contributory significance is a major concern in general with the way we deal with problems. We need to stop automatically placing the burden of responsibility on external factors. We need to stop say "He or it made me do it."

Aish HaTorah by Rabbi Keleman

The Necessity of Identifying Risk Factors

It is clear that there is a need to protect one's children from the distractions and corrosive elements of the net. Limitations to Internet access, the use of filtering software and pre-filtered Internet providers, placement of computers in highly visible areas of one's home are all good ideas.

Ultimately, restricting Internet access is a necessary but insufficient solution. But what is needed is healing the personality weaknesses that virtually guarantee some individuals will fall victim to Internet temptations. Studies show that those most likely to get into trouble are not deterred by limits on Internet access. Given the net's ubiquitous presence, they will find a way to get online -- at the local public library, if not elsewhere. Therefore, a key challenge to parents and educators is identifying the risk factors and the individuals most at risk.

Researchers describe four pre-existing conditions that put an individual at high risk for getting into trouble on the Internet.  They are: lack of family bonds; low self-esteem; inability to express opinions and questions; and inability to socialize.

My Nigerian identity thief responds to Rabbi Blech

This same identity theft happened to me

Aish HaTorah

Last week I was viciously assaulted.

No, this wasn't a physical attack. And I've since discovered I wasn't the only one to suffer the horrific consequences of a new kind of criminality made possible by modern technology.

What was stolen from me was not my money but my identity. I have no idea how it was done. As part of the generation who still remembers using the old Remington Royal typewriter, computer language is geek to me and Google is a miracle that totally transcends my understanding. But I've come to treasure my email and wonder how I ever got along with the snail mail of stamps and postal service. I love how I can reach out to all of my contacts with just a touch of the keyboard - or at least I did until I discovered that someone could somehow steal my password, reach out to all the people I know and tell them whatever suits his nefarious purpose.[...]