https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/ted-cruz-says-press-giddy-with-glee-over-coronavirus-pandemic-bull-session/
Callooh, callay! It’s another glorious day in the mainstream media
where, as Texas senator Ted Cruz recently noted, we’re all simply “giddy with glee”
over this global pandemic. The sun is shining on all of God’s green
earth that the governor recently closed, the birds are chirping in
between the distant wail of ambulance sirens, and we members of the
press are feeling particularly lighthearted, a sensation we keep
checking against all the known symptoms of COVID-19. You could tell from
the huge smiles on our faces, if only you could see them beneath these
homemade masks.
Boy, am I ever! Personally, nothing gives me greater pleasure than
waking from yet another anxiety dream about going to the grocery store,
then opening my phone to find that another thousand people died
overnight, a friend lost their dad, and everything remains closed
indefinitely. Humming a tune by a favorite artist who was killed
prematurely by a preventable public health crisis, I leap from my
flop-sweat-soaked bed, eager to begin another day of cheerleading for
our nation’s incipient collapse—right after my wife and I figure out how
we’re going to juggle the demands of our jobs with another day of
watching the two small, restless children trapped inside with us. Then,
during the few allotted hours I’m able to work for an industry that is,
like so many other businesses, faltering under mass layoffs, it’s party time, baby. That’s when I get to write about all this death and malfeasance for an audience that openly resents me for it! Yippee!
