Bull Session: Ted Cruz Says the Press Is “Giddy With Glee” Over Pandemic

https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/ted-cruz-says-press-giddy-with-glee-over-coronavirus-pandemic-bull-session/

Callooh, callay! It’s another glorious day in the mainstream media where, as Texas senator Ted Cruz recently noted, we’re all simply “giddy with glee” over this global pandemic. The sun is shining on all of God’s green earth that the governor recently closed, the birds are chirping in between the distant wail of ambulance sirens, and we members of the press are feeling particularly lighthearted, a sensation we keep checking against all the known symptoms of COVID-19. You could tell from the huge smiles on our faces, if only you could see them beneath these homemade masks.

Boy, am I ever! Personally, nothing gives me greater pleasure than waking from yet another anxiety dream about going to the grocery store, then opening my phone to find that another thousand people died overnight, a friend lost their dad, and everything remains closed indefinitely. Humming a tune by a favorite artist who was killed prematurely by a preventable public health crisis, I leap from my flop-sweat-soaked bed, eager to begin another day of cheerleading for our nation’s incipient collapse—right after my wife and I figure out how we’re going to juggle the demands of our jobs with another day of watching the two small, restless children trapped inside with us. Then, during the few allotted hours I’m able to work for an industry that is, like so many other businesses, faltering under mass layoffs, it’s party time, baby. That’s when I get to write about all this death and malfeasance for an audience that openly resents me for it! Yippee!