Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Aish HaTorah:Does G-d care about intermarriage?

Aishe HaTorah

Belinda and I struggled with the idea: Does God care if we intermarry?

"What are we waiting for?" Belinda asked, buoyant yet somewhat confused as we sat facing each other. For weeks we had been talking about the prospect of getting married.

I held back. I was not supposed to marry a gentile, I thought. To do so would be a betrayal of my family, my ancestors, my tradition. Yet it would sound racist if I told her that.

Then I realized: It would sound racist to me as well.

I needed time to think, to read up on intermarriage, to figure things out. Belinda, who is Chinese, and I had been dating for a few months. Never before had things felt so "right," and yet there was an underlying sense that something was very "wrong."[...]


  1. nice story,

    no Internet ads, no full pages kin the Jewish Press, no fancy retreats, no Joanathan Rosenblum, no EJF paid clothes, just a couple in spiritual search, the way it should be.

    In this article

    Jack Botwinik says that they still mark Chinese customs like giving lai-si (red packets containing money) during the Chinese new year.

    Wait until Tropper hears about it and starts to complain that she worships idolatry like he did here.

    or will try to revoke her conversion like he did here.

  2. http://www.eternaljewishfamily.org/site/events/event/453/

    There is an EJF event in Hong Kong! Is Tropper planning to being over Chinese girls to marry Jewish guys?

    Maybe some of the American Jews who dating Asian girls do not want to break up with them so Tropper says to them "I get you another one, they all look the same"

    Poor Tropper! He does not know the difference between ABC (American Born Chinese) and FOB (Fresh Out the Boat)

  3. An Aish rabbi in NY once complained to me that there are many Jews chasing Chinese / Oriental girls, including frum guys who tap into the Invei Hagefen group's reserve of Oriental giyoreses to the point where these giyoreses are always busy with shidduchim, when other BT/FFB/Giroyes girls are not busy. He opined that even these frum guys are really chasing after their tayvos.

  4. Spotlight on Aish HatorahNovember 3, 2009 at 8:53 PM

    I don't understand how Aish is getting a free pass on Matis Weinberg.

    Whenever he was at yeshivos in America or Israel, rabbonim from both Agudah and YU circles were mishtadel to shut them down and warn people to stay away from him.

    Why does Matis all of a sudden get a free pass just because he is at his brother's yeshiva, Aish Hatorah Jerusalem?

  5. Can DT single handedly stop the descent of American "Orthodoxy" into Reform or is it completely hopeless?

    It's a bird, it's a plane, it's........

    American Jewry needs a superhero!!

  6. why "descent into Reform"?

    You just told us that you did not want to be jewish.

    Perhaps had you been reformed, you would not have objected to being jewish...

  7. "He opined that even these frum guys are really chasing after their tayvos."

    Uhh, is it really appropriate to speak negatively about those who seek a shiduch with a girl they find attractive who has already, of her own free will, converted to Judaism?

  8. Recipients and PublicityNovember 4, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    A few observations to the above.

    The reason that oriental girls are liked is that they have good middos and know how to serve and please a man, not in the sexual sense, but in that "they know their place" and are usually quieter and more demure than Jewish girls who suffer from that, well, dare we say it, the aggressive JAP syndrome! (no, not "Japanese" -- JAP stands for Jewish American Princess!)

    So don't blame the oriental shiksas for being smart as many of them are and willing to convert and take on whatever they are asked. It's Jewish society that is producing spoiled Jewish brats, girls who want bling-bling "now", fast cars, big houses, frequent vacations, you name it, while the oriental girls, and those Menonites from Pennsylvania, are genuinely more "eidel" and have more refined qualities.

    As for Matis Weinberg, he is like the cat with nine+ lives. You can't blame him that people like him. He is very smart. He is the son of Rav Yaakov Weinberg and the nephew of Rav Noach. He is very controversial and when he was forced to shut down his yeshiva in Santa Clara California under a cloud, as far as is know the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah ruled that he was never to hold an official position in a yeshiva again. But he is able to get around that with his smarts and his name.

    Now that Aish HaTorah is rudderless and is at a loss without Rav Noach (his sons do not have his savvy in kiruv in the modern world) it makes sense that into this vacuum steps Matis Weinberg, who was working for Aish behind the scenes in any case. He is notorious about talking too much and too explicitly about sexual topics in his teaching of secular and Orthodox students alike.

    Matis has the ability to attract sworn disciples and he is a big talmid chochem married to the daughter of one of the Telzer roshei yeshiva in Cleveland.

    Rabbi Tropper also learned in Telz as a youngster and the two may well know each other although they have opposite approaches while being similaraly magentic, Rabbi Tropper is more the fundamentalist frummak while R Matis Weinberg is more the free spirited libertine.

  9. "and know how to serve and please a man"

    Is this what a jewish man strives for? Interesting...

  10. Recipients and PublicityNovember 5, 2009 at 3:16 AM

    "anne said...'and know how to serve and please a man'

    Is this what a jewish man strives for? Interesting..."

    Nope, ALL men strive for this, that is, to have a woman in their life that will be a "help-mate" and therefore to please them.

    Women by nature, who want to have a man in their lives usually know instinctively that they should be pleasing, not in the subservient sense but in the uniquely feminine and charming sense, to the man they desire or else they will sit alone at home watching soap operas with their equally lonely girlfriends. Don't be obtuse please.

    Today's young Asian women are a few generations behind the current spoiled brat syndrome prevalant in Jewish and general Western life. The Asian girls come from strongly patriarchal societies and therefore they instinctively "know how to please a man" and again, this is not meant in the sexual sense, but in the sense that men seek solace in a wife in whose presence they will be relaxed, have peace of mind and who is non-threatening, unlike the spolied brats of America who think they have to push to the limits or go to war with guys and seek egalitarianism at every turn which only makes the guys run away....into the arms of the soft and friendly Asian girls who still giggle, smile and act relaxed even as adults.

    It takes a lot of maturity and effort on the part of a Jewish man and woman to marry each other and stay married. Religious Jews have a huge advantage because they are guided by the principles of the Torah and Jewish Law, but even that is not a guarantee of successful relationships and marriages that take a huge amount of wisdom and practical good sense and siyata dishmaya to accomplish.

    There are many good books about this topic if you like to read up on it starting with:

    The River, the Kettle and the Bird: A Torah Guide to a Successful Marriage By Rabbi Aharon Feldman, (Feldheim Publishers);

    The Sacred Trust: Love, dating, marriage: The Jewish view. by Rabbi Pinchas Stolper (ArtScroll Publishers);

    and these three great books by Gila Manolson (1) Head to Heart: What to know before dating an marriage, (2) Outside/Inside: A fresh look at tzniut, (3) The Magic Touch: A Jewish Approach to relationships (Targum Press);

    The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage by Rabbi Maurice Lamm;

    Made in Heaven by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan (Moznaim Publishing).

    These are some of the very best in this genre, all written in clear and modern English with full explanations of Hebrew and Torah terminology, that put the Orthodox and Torah point of view into the best perspective.

  11. Spotlight on Aish HatorahNovember 5, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    Which Telzer rosh yeshiva took Matis Weinberg as an eidim?

  12. This story seems fairly typical. This is what I see a lot around me, in not-so-from and modern-orthodox circles:
    Man loves woman, dates her (whatever the exact ramifications might be). She falls in love with judaism, converts. He returns to Torah u Mitzwoth because of her. They marry. And in most cases, as far as I could see, they build up a "beit neeman beisrael", ie. they are shomer shabbat, shomer kashrut, and in many cases the Gioret is more scrupulous than the jewish-born spouse.

    This is why one should be very careful when speaking about "Giur for marriage". You never know what is really behind it.

    I even know one case where the couple split up during her conversion process, she converted, made aliah and married someone else to build a Beith Neeman beisrael.

    The only details I do not like in the way it is handled in our community is that the couple does not have to separate during the giur process. I know even two cases where the Gioret got pregnant (before the Giur, I suppose) and was rushed through the Giur so that the child should be born jewish.

    The other detail I do not like in the way it is handled in our community is that "Giur lemaan Chatuna" gets privilege as compared to regular, sincere Giur without ulterior motives. I heard that the policy of the community RAbbi is not to accept "single Gerim".

    But what can I do about it?

  13. "Asian girls come from strongly patriarchal societies"

    So you mean that a subserviant girl from a strongly patriarchal society is a good role model for a jewish wife?


  14. Tzorich giyur al kol ponimNovember 5, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    "Gioret got pregnant (before the Giur, I suppose) and was rushed through the Giur so that the child should be born jewish."

    If the child is conceived before giyur, conversion is still required for the child.

    Which community does not accept single gerim? I have not heard of this anywhere.

  15. Well, I will not disclose which community it is. It is a "modern-orthodox" community somewhere in Europe.

    But the practice to give "preferentiel treatment" to Giur candidates who have a jewish partner or a jewish father is quite widespread in the european, modern-orthodox communities I know.

  16. I truly believe that we have reached the point where technology has become one with our society, and I can say with 99% certainty that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.

    I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Ethical concerns aside... I just hope that as memory gets less expensive, the possibility of downloading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could encounter in my lifetime.

    (Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://cryst4lxbands.sosblog.com/-b/Will-the-R4-or-R4i-work-b1-p2.htm]R4i[/url] DS SPPost)


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