Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Rav Sternbuch: Obligation to Investigate rumors of sexual impropriety 5:398

5 comments :

  1. Finally! Someone speaks the truth about "lashon hara"! Know that this is not the only instance - how many times, as a victim, I was told my attempts to tell people what happened and save other souls, get ANYONE to investigate, was "lashon hara" - the man is still doing it to this day.

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  2. Just happened to me. I witnessed a child being fondled by a Rebbe who was fired after it surfaced that there were open warrants in two other States for his arrest, one of which was for sexually abusing a 6 year old.

    The parents of the boy who was molested would not allow the child to receive any sort of therapy, even free due to the "boosha" and "ruining future shidduchim".

    The timing of this coincided with the Motty Borger tragedy.

    I called the principal of the Jewish school where the boy attends and told her about what had happened. I made it very clear that my purpose in calling was to alert her to any potential emotional issues that the child might experience so that she might refer him for help.

    The principal's respond to me was
    "Why don't you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!" and she hung up on me.

    It is very frustrating that nothing is being done to help this child. I cannot imagine how he feels. Perhaps he feels guilty for causing the Rebbe to lose his job. Perhaps he feels like his parents do not love him because he was "bad".

    There is a lot of work to be done in our communities to overcome these toxic attitudes.

    I am grateful that Rav Sternbuch (until 120) has stood out among our Gedolim in taking a stand to protect our children.

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  3. Does this also apply to parents? For example, are they allowed (or must they) to listen to the "rumours" of their children in order to make sure that nothing bad happens to them? I would appreciate a full blog of R' Eidonsohn to understand my obligations as a parent. I feel very uncomfortable telling my child "don't tell me, it could be lashon horo". The kids are only young and will probably only learn from that that there are some things they can't tell their parents. And obviously, given that they are young, they may come to the completely wrong conclusion about what they can and can't tell us.

    Thanks

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    Replies
    1. yest it applies to parents. you should listen when your children tell you something is upsetting them.

      Delete
  4. George WynschenkMay 7, 2019 at 10:35 PM

    Why doesn't the Teshuva show up on this page,please?

    ReplyDelete

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