Sunday, August 20, 2023

Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter: Purim Special! A woman's do it yourself guide to annuling marriage - with haskomas from Gedolim








For Purim I have decided to stop fighting the Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter and have decided - as a public service - to describe how any woman can create her own Heter. I obtained this information from hundreds of hours of great effort observing and analyzing the activities of the Kaminetskys and Rav Nota Greenblatt and now I am willing to share it with you.

No need for expensive Gittin which can drag on for years and cost thousands of dollars. No need to accept the status of a divorcee.  I guarantee you will be able to marry the Cohen of your desires without anyone mentioning your previously married state.

No need to hire a lawyer to make up lies about your husband being a child molestor, rapists or mafia member. No need to mortgage your parent's home to pay for his services.

No need to hire Jeremy Stern and the marching band of ORA to officiate at protests outside your husband's parents home.

Furthermore I will reveal the secret of how to do it without wasting precious time currying favor with a rabbi with well placed bribes. You no longer need to have your family or yourself to be life long financial supporters of a rabbi's yeshiva or chesed organization.

You will also learn not to feel guilty about making up lies and slandering your husband. Special yoga breathing techniques have been combined with hourly shots of whisky to blot out all feelings of shame.

As a special bonus, I will also describe how to avoid using the expensive services of a psychiatrist. I will teach you the halachically significant formula that "magically" dissolves any marriage - with 25 words or less.

A specially generous bonus from me, is how to deal with being accused of adultery and your children labeled being mamzerim. This took a lot of time studying the deeds of contemporary gedolim. But Baruch Hashem, I have distilled the procedure down to a mere two pages of instructions that anyone can follow.

In short, I will teach you the secret of distorting and corrupting Yiddishkeit for your own selfish benefit. The secret of effortless destruction of your present marriage. You will learn how to ruin your children with much greater effectiveness and damage than if they were merely children of a divorced couple. I will give you complete freedom over your destiny and the techniques for nullifying any and all halachic objections. I will teach you the secrets of Daas Torah.

5 comments :

  1. “Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter: Purim Special! A woman's do it yourself guide to annuling marriage - with haskomas from Gedolim”

    Fine sarcasm.

    We have to go after the crooked lawyers that aid and abet, e.g. Goldfein

    NJ.com: “The attorney for a Pennsylvania woman who wanted a religious divorce said Monday that a Lakewood rabbi instructed her family to pay the rabbi $60,000 as part of his attempt to secure her divorce. Fredric Goldfein told jurors in the federal conspiracy and kidnapping trial of Rabbi Mendel Epstein that in his efforts to get a Maryland man to agree to a divorce, Epstein instructed him to wire $60,000 to two of the congregations he led. A few months after the money was transferred to Epstein's congregations, the husband, Aharon Friedman, was attacked on July 29, 2012, by three men at the home of his former in-laws in Pennsylvania in an attempt to force him to issue the divorce. Goldfein, testifying for the federal government in exchange for immunity, said he was surprised when he heard about the attack on Friedman and called another rabbi to try to learn more details. Goldfein, who is a rabbi, said he was led to believe the money was to go to the husband, Friedman, as part of his agreement to grant his wife a religious divorce so that she would eventually be permitted to remarry in the Orthodox Jewish community.”

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  2. LOL Couldn't. Have said it better A freilichen purim to all

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  3. You seem to have forgotten the most important piece that goes along with any sales pitch for a magical segula or life changing דיוק in Halacha:

    How much does it cost?

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  4. I'm sorry but wouldn't the Mendel Epstein method be cheaper and quicker?

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  5. too much publicity and thus the possiblity of being exposed on a blog and too much liklihood of going to jail

    ReplyDelete

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