Eiruvin (041b): Three do not see the face of Hell. One who suffers from oppressive poverty, one who has a diseased stomach, and one who is in the custody of the government and some say one who has a bad wife. Why isn’t a bad wife mentioned in the first group? That is because it is a mitzva to divorce her and therefore he would not suffer from her. However this cannot always be done since she might have a large kesuba or he has children from her and consequently cannot divorce her and thus he suffers from her. However according to the view that it is a mitzva to divorce her so why include it in this list in the first place? In order to lovingly accept the suffering that he does experience [since it atones for his sins – Rashi].
Sanhedrin (100b): Rav Yosef some good advice that is mentioned in the Sefer of Ben Sira. A good wife is a good present while a bad wife is like a plague to her husband. What is the solution? He should drive her out of his house by divorcing her and be cured from the plague.
Pele Yoetz...According to what our Sages (Eruvin 41b) say, "Someone who has a bad wife will not see Hell", therefore it is even proper to want to have a bad wife, if he can withstand the test to avoid the severe judgment of Hell. If he passes the test, then he will not inherit two Gehinoms (one in this world and one in the World to Come)! Rather he should accept her with love and he will receive a good reward for his efforts. He also needs to arouse and strengthen his love for her in order that their children not be one of the nine categories "children of a hated one", Heaven forbid, and according to his efforts will be his gain
“Bad wife is desirable” My theory. Enjoy the bad wife. Presumably they live in Israel.
ReplyDeleteKethuboth Chapter 13 Mishnah 11
“AlI can be compelled to move to the Land of Israel [i.e., a man may compel his wife, children and Canaanite slaves to go to ארץ ישראל] but no one may be compelled to move out [from ארץ יראל]. All may be forced to go up to Jerusalem but none can be made to leave, whether they be men or women [literally the men or the women. Some texts have אחד אנשים ואחד נשים others have הנשים , the women and others עבדים slaves, bondmen. The woman can insist on the husband doing so (if he refuses he must give her כתובה and גט), and if he demands and דhe declines she is to be divorced and forfeits herכתובה.”
Presumably this bad wife is not a rebellious wife. Torah thought on next week’s parsha משפטים
“If he marries another אם אחרת יקח לו, he must not withhold from this one her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights שארה כסותה ועמתה לא יגרע.” (Exodus 21:10)
Talmud - Mas. Kethuboth 63b
“The fact, however, is that [lit., but] [in respect] of conjugal union all [R. Huna and R. Jose] agree that [a wife who refuses] is regarded as a rebellious woman [And the Baraitha cited deals with conjugal union]”
Gerald, thank you. I will add my own thoughts soon.
ReplyDeleteKoheleth 7;
ReplyDeleteכו וּמוֹצֶא אֲנִי מַר מִמָּוֶת, אֶת-הָאִשָּׁה אֲשֶׁר-הִיא מְצוֹדִים וַחֲרָמִים לִבָּהּ--אֲסוּרִים יָדֶיהָ; טוֹב לִפְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים, יִמָּלֵט מִמֶּנָּה, וְחוֹטֵא, יִלָּכֶד בָּהּ. 26 and I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands; whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
For those who pay any attention to Tanakh.
If the sinner is taken by her, and the gemara holds he has no gehennom, then it is purgatory being with her.
One who suffers from oppressive poverty -
Yes. It is like purgatory. But that doesn't mean wecan impose it upon people.
Pele yoetz is saying the opposite of the gemara.
ReplyDeleteNot surprising that the pele yoetz is a mussar man _ they come out with the most contorted dehumanizing cult like ideas. Salanter himself was great, but the ideas mutated to become apikorsus.
ReplyDeleteI was about to post this from Koheleth:
ReplyDelete26 and I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands; whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
but I saw i had done it on the first round of this post as well :)