Marriage - predestined?

 Menoras HaMeor (chapter 10 Marriage page 27-30) If you find a wife you have found good In Yevamos Rava said come and see how good a good wife is as it says if you find a wife you have found good. If the verse  is literally about women then it means how great is the good of a good wife and if it is a metaphor for Torah that also indicates how good a good wife is since it is used as a metaphor to describe the Torah. It says in Medrash Rabbah You find good and obtain favor from G-d. That means G-d is showing kindness to you by you getting a good and desirable wife and it says wealth is, an inheritance while a clever wife is from G-d. That means that a Man determines many things so that if he does good he merits good while if he does evil he will be punished. In contrast marriage to the right person is not in his control he will end up marrying the wife G-d selected for him before he was created as it states in Sanhedrin [Sotah 2a] that forty days before the creation of the embryo a heavenly voice announces this person’s daughter will marry this person. Even if she is across the ocean. That is because it says that G-d selects her. This principle is found in the Torah and repeated in the Prophets and found again in the Writings. In The Torah it states that Lavan and Besuel replied “that it is from G-d” and therefore they could not criticize or praise the suggested marriage.   In Prophets regarding Samson [Shoftim 14:4] that his father and mother did not know about his interest [in marrying Delilah]  because it was from G-d. In the Writings (Mishlei 19:14) House and riches are inherited from fathers; but a prudent wife is from the Lord. There are those who go looking for a wife while for others it comes to them. We see that for Yitzchok she came to him while in contrast Yakov went searching for his wife> G-d decides a person’s wife and we learn this from Yitzchok. The Torah says “Besuel had a daughter Rivkah” this teaches that it was announced that Yitzchok would marry her. But this presents a problem as it means a man has no choice and must marry the one G-d selected for him? But we learned in Pesachim(49b) that a man should be ready to sell all of his possessions in order that he marry the daughter of a talmid chachom and he can not marry other than the daughter of a talmid chachom. Furthermore it says in Bava Basra (110a) that when deciding whom to marry he needs to investigate her brothers. It also says a person [Bava Basra 109b] should only marry the daughter of good people so that if he dies or is exiled. It also says in Mo’ed Koton that it is permitted to become engaged during Chol HaMoed because perhaps another through prayer will get her first. But why if the wife is pre-ordained? Furthermore it say in Kiddushin (70a) that all those that marry a wife who is not fit for him. Eliyayu restrains him while G-d whips him, But why should he be punished since his wife is predestined for him? An additional problem is that the gemora in Sotah (2a)  states that a person wife is according to his deeds. We also see the opposite Some Tzadikim and pious men marry women who are evil and controlling while we find some righteous women married to sinful transgressors!. We can understand Sotah 2a that it is preordained only if she is fit for him but if not the match is nullified and she will marry someone more appropriate. For example if he is pious and she is evil or he is evil and she is righteous, then G-d takes the evil woman from the pious man and the righteous woman from the evil doer and give the righteous to the pious man and the evil woman to the evil man. And this that we find tzadikim married to evil women, that is meant as suffering for the tzadik in this world to atone for his small number of transgressions to prepare him for the future world. This that we find some evil people with saintly wives – there are 3 explanations. 1) this is to help him reform, 2) to provide him with reward in this world for the small number of good he has done but he will lose the World to Come. 3)He will purify his wife for the small number of sins she has done. In Medrash Tehilim it notes two verses which seem contradictory. If you find a wife you find good and  I have found the wife as bitter as death. The answer is if you find a good wife that is the ultimate good but if she is bad she is the ultimate bad.