Ropshitzer:Explaining shelo asani isha - to his wife

The Ropshitzer Rebbetzin was an intelligent, educated woman who was not at all reluctant to challenge her husband in matters of halacha or Chasidus. One day, she asked him to explain the meaning of the daily brocho shelo asani isha where men bless Hashem for not having been created as women. What disturbed her particularly was the notion that that there were many ignorant, boorish men who had no knowledge of the Torah, but who apparently were given the opportunity each day when saying this brocho to arrogantly claim that they were "better" than women, all women, even a woman such as she. who was so obviously on a higher spiritual and educational level than they. The Ropshitzer assured her that she needn't feel inferior to any of these men by virtue of this brocho. When each man says shelo asani isha in the morning, the woman he is referring to as the object of his gratitude is none other than his own wife. While he may feel somewhat superior to her when uttering those words, upon further introspection he will realize that he is offering thanks for not having been the wife, with a spouse such as he.

RCA: Must report abuse to police & secular authorities

Rabbinic Council of America    This statement adds requirement to comply with mandated reporting compared to what I had previously reported Daas Torah 2011 and the declaration of 2010 which is included in Child& Domestic Abuse Vol I.

Consulting with experts in a case of uncertainty whether rabbis and legal - is merely to clarify and does not make the rabbi the gatekeeper as it does in the case of the Aguda. I assume that this view also is that of  Rav Herschel Schachter 2006- even though he says to got to a rabbi in case of doubt

Jul 25, 2011 -- The Rabbinical Council of America has today reaffirmed its position that those with reasonable suspicion or first hand knowledge of abuse or endangerment have a religious obligation to report that abuse to the secular legal authorities without delay. One of the unique features of Jewish law is that it imposes upon every member of the community an obligation to help others avoid danger. The biblical verse “do not stand by while your neighbor’s blood is shed" is understood by Jewish Law to mandate that one must do all in one’s power to prevent harm to others - even if monetary harm, but certainly physical harm.

Consistent with that Torah obligation, if one becomes aware of an instance of child abuse or endangerment, one is obligated to refer the matter to the secular authorities immediately, as the prohibition of mesirah (i.e., referring an allegation against a fellow Jew to government authority) does not apply in such a case.

As always where the facts are uncertain one should use common sense and consultations with experts, both lay and rabbinic, to determine how and when to report such matters to the authorities. False accusations are harmful to those falsely accused – but unreported abuse or endangerment can be life-threatening, as we have recently been tragically reminded.

In addition and as a separate matter, those within the Jewish community whom secular law deem to be “mandated reporters,” must certainly obey the particular reporting requirements, which vary from state to state in the US. A person covered by mandatory reporter laws must comply with those laws, even in a case in which Jewish law might otherwise not require a person to report such child abuse or endangerment.

Rav Sternbuch: Get for civil & Reform marriages?

Rav Moshe Sternbuch (5:327): The poskim have much discussion about the issue of civil marriage because the matter is complicated and deals with the issue of a married woman which is amongst the most severe prohibitions. There are many different aspects and questions. A look at the writings of recent poskim will see that there is no general psak in this matter because the actual halacha varies depending upon place and time and the couple involved. Therefore it is necessary to investigate carefully every single case with calm deliberation and the final halacha is given to the authority of beis din or at least to the gedolim.

The fact is that it is accepted practice today that a couple who have a civil marriage require a get when possible. However in difficult circumstances when it is impossible to obtain a get the practice is to permit remarriage without a get. And surely this is true if she is remarried already without a get and has a child – that the child is not considered a mamzer. And this is what Rav Chaim Ozer (Igros Rav Chaim Ozer #30) has written that one can rely on the great poskim such as Maharam Shick (#21), Beis Yitzchok (#29), Beis Ephraim (#41) to permit the woman to remarry – in time of need – without a get. However it is important to know that there are also gedolim that are machmir in this matter, See Even Haezel (Rav Issur Zalman Meltzer) who discusses this a great length (Chapter 6 Hilchos Ishus). He concludes, “In conclusion, kiddushin from another person after previously living together as man and wife is the severe prohibition of adultery. Therefore one should not make halachic rulings that permit this even by combining various leniencies to nullify kiddushin after a couple has been living together. Anyone who insists on being lenient in these circumstances – makes absolutely no sense and he requires atonement for his errors in deciding halacha concerning a prohibition that involves capital punishment and mamzerim and he must correct what has been done.” In sum he writes very strongly that one should not permit remarriage without a get. We find a similar view expressed by Ohr Someach (Hilchos Geirushin 10:19) who shows that the principle that a person doesn’t have sexual intercourse without marriage is not because of a prohibition but because living with a woman shows that he wants her to be his wife and thus they are halachically married.

However their words seem astounding. It is obvious that if a person gets a civil marriage and not a religious one – he is clearly indicating that he has no interest in a religious marriage. So how can you claim that such a person should be considered married according to Jew law? This is not equivalent to someone who gets married with less that a peruta – because that at least shows he wants to be married according to the Torah. If so then when he has sexual relations with his wife afterwards that finalizes the status of marriage according to the halacha. In contrast when he clearly indicates that he has no interest in a Jewish marriage. Elsewhere  (2:642) that basis for concern that civil marriage might be valid is according to the view of Rav Huna that chuppah acquires in marriage (Kiddushin 5a). Rabbeinu Chananel rules according to Rav Huna’s view. In Shulchan Aruch (E.H. 26:2) he writes as minority opinion that if one brings a women into chuppah there is a question as to whether it is valid. Therefore we might say that by taking a woman into his house for the sake of marriage there is a concern that they are married. However this can be answered by saying that it is true if they wanted a valid marriage according to the Torah. However if he only had a civil marriage – that shows that he doesn’t want a religious marriage and therefore the kiddushin has no validity.

All of the discussion so far only applies to a civil marriage, but if they want a religious ceremony but they decided to have a Reform marriage  because they have been misled into thinking that Reform also provide a religious marriage and they think that the Chareidim are just being strict and exaggerate the importance of their ceremony. They simply don’t understand that the Reform have cut themselves off totally from the Jewish religion. If that is what they are thinking then in truth their intent is to have a genuine religious marriage and then it would seem that the Reform ceremoney would be valid since there is the principle that , “ A person doesn’t have intercourse outside of a genuine marriage.” However that is not clear because the Rambam (Hilchos Ishus 7) writes, “There is a presumption that a religious Jew would not have intercourse outside of marriage when he has the opportunity to be married.” Obviously this principle does not applies to those who reject G‑d’s mitzvos. Along with this problem the validity of a Refom marriage is undermined by the lack of valid witnesses and questions regarding the nature of kiddushin they perform and the presumption of virginity. Consequently my view is that if the couple remarried without first obtaining a Get it is possible to be lenient regarding the doubt regarding mamzerim which in this case is only rabbinic. However to permit them to remarry without a get – I believe it is necessary to distingush between civil marriage and Reform marriage. While a civil marriage does require l’chatchila a Get however it is possible to allow them to get remarried without a Get when it is of great necessity. In contrast a Reform marriage in which they intended to be married according to religion but they were mistaken – then the obligation to obtain a Get is much greater. Therefore it is possible to allow remarriage without a Get in such a case - only when it would result in the woman remaining unmarriable. In such a case the permission to remarry must be made by beis din. In another place, I mention that in a situation where there is a dispute amongst poskim and a heter is needed - e.g., a marriage which was done not in accord to Torah law – than it is proper to receive permssion to remarry from beis din or at least three major rabbis.

Israeli Torah view on NY internet asifa

One of the most important and influential Israeli chareidi talmidei chachoim made the following judgment regarding the significance of the recent New York internet asifa.

A man was walking down the street when he noticed someone deep in thought. He stopped and asked him, "What are thinking about that is so important?" The thinker responded," I have been thinking about some very important ideas. I was thinking about what would happen if all the water in the world joined together - what a massive ocean it would make. Then I was thinking, what if all the trees in the world joined together - what an awesome tree it would make. That lead me to think about what if all men were joined together into one man - what a huge man would result.  But then I got an ever more profound thought. What if the mega-man of all humanity took the mega-tree of all trees and threw it in the mega-ocean of all water - what a tremendous splash it would make."

Cardinal’s Aide - Guilty in Abuse Case

NYTimes   Msgr. William J. Lynn, a former cardinal’s aide, was found guilty Friday of endangering children, becoming the first senior official of the Roman Catholic Church in the United States convicted of covering up sexual abuses by priests under his supervision.

The single guilty verdict was widely seen as a victory for the district attorney’s office, which has been investigating the archdiocese aggressively since 2002, and it was hailed by victim advocates who have argued for years that senior church officials should be held accountable for concealing evidence and transferring predatory priests to unwary parishes.

The trial sent a sobering message to church officials and others overseeing children around the country. “I think that bishops and chancery officials understand that they will no longer get a pass on these types of crimes,” said Nicholas P. Cafardi, a professor of law at Duquesne University, a canon lawyer and frequent church adviser. “Priests who sexually abuse youngsters and the chancery officials who enabled it can expect criminal prosecution.”

Jerry Sandusky - Convicted on 45 abuse charges

Time Magazine    Jerry Sandusky, the 68-year-old former assistant coach of Penn State’s football team, was convicted Friday evening on 45 out of 48 counts of sexual abuse. According to the Associated Press, Sandusky stood expressionless in the Bellefonte, Pa. courtroom as the jury, seven women and five men, read the verdict. He was convicted of 25 felonies and 14 first degree felonies and faces 442 years in prison. Following sentencing in three months, he will likely spend the remainder of his life behind bars.

Along with Sandusky, the scandal implicated former Penn State Vice President Gary Schultz and former athletic director Tim Curley, both of whom were allegedly informed about the abuse but failed to investigate it properly. Schultz, as the administrative head of the Penn State campus police department, would have had the power to take criminal action against Sandusky. He and Curley are currently facing charges of perjury and failure to report. Both have denied all wrongdoing.

Sandusky’s misdeeds also ruined the careers of Penn State President Graham Spanier, who was forced out by the Board of Trustees, and storied Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, the winningest coach in major college football and the college town’s biggest hero, who was fired. Riots broke out on the campus of 45,000 students after the decision was handed down to remove the coach. Paterno, 85, died of lung cancer on January 22, 2012, just two months after he was removed from the team.

R' Avrahom Meir Weiss - bitul seruv

Weiss

Men have priority over women - even for lost objects

[updated with Mishna] Rav Sternbuch(Teshuvos v’Hanhagos 4:217): In the Mishna at the end of Horios it is taught, A man take priority over a woman in regard to returning lost objects. The reason for this is because the man has a greater obligation to do mitzvos than a woman. We also find in Shulchan Aruch concerning tzedaka that a man comes before a woman. This is very strange. I can understand that a Torah scholar takes precedence to a woman because it is showing respect for the Torah. However there is no obligation to honor every man because of the mitzvos that he fulfills. I can understand that in saving of life that a man comes before a woman because he can serve G‑d more since he has much more mitvos and thus is sanctified more. However what does that have to do with returning him his lost objects before returning a woman her lost objects – there simply isn’t a general obligation of honoring each man? I could not find this din in the Shulcha Aruch or the Rambam, but it is explicit and clear in the Mishna. This question requires additional study. Perhaps you can answer that since the man is obligated in more mitzvos, when you give priority to the man you show with this the importance of mitzvos. Therefore even though there is no requirement to honor him, but in a situation where you have both a man a woman that you need to returnsomething, we give priority to him because he is obligated in more mitzvos. With this we cherish and show the importance of mitzvos. Therefore the Sages required in such a case to give preference to the man. However this still requires clarification.
 ==========================

Horious(13a): Mishna: A man takes precedence over a woman in life and death matters and the return of lost objects [ because of greater holiness resulting from having more mitzvos]. A woman takes precedence over a man regarding being clothed [because she suffers more from embarrassment and shame of being naked] and redemption from captivity. If they are both faced with rape then a man takes precedence over a woman [because rape is unnatural for a man and thus more degrading than for a woman].

4 arrested for $500k bribe & intimidation in Weberman case

NYTimes  The Brooklyn distt attorney, facing an avalanche of complaints about his handling of sexual abuse allegations in the ultra-Orthodox community, on Thursday charged four men with attempting to silence an accuser by offering her and her boyfriend a $500,000 bribe, and threatening her boyfriend’s business. 

The district attorney, Charles J. Hynes, alleged that the men were part of an effort by the community to protect a prominent member of the Satmar Hasidic community, Nechemya Weberman, who has been accused of 88 counts of sexual misconduct, including oral sex with a child younger than 13 years old. The charges all involve a single victim, a young woman who was referred by her school to get counseling by Mr. Weberman, and then alleges she was abused by him during therapy sessions. 

The executive bureau chief of the district attorney’s rackets division, Josh Hanshaft, said the men had been “telling witnesses to forget what they know, not to come to court, to disappear,” and said prosecutors had “clear, substantial evidence” that part of the plan to silence witnesses involved offering money to dissuade their testimony. He said of Mr. Rubin, “He has no regard for the system. He thumbs his nose at the system,” and of the Berger brothers: “They have gone and destroyed property. There have been threatening phone calls.” He said prosecutors were concerned that the men might now flee to Israel.

Rav Schachter - When to call police - 2006

Read this in context of RCA Declaration of 2011

 

Rabbi Hershel Schachter - Should I Call the Police? Mesira & Chilul Hashem from TorahWeb.org on Vimeo.

Beis Yaakov warns about Jerusalem molester

.kikarhashabat

במוסדות החינוך החרדים מחליטים להלחם בתוקפי הילדים, ולעשות סוף לתופעה הבלתי נסבלת שמחללת את נפשותיהם של ילדים תמימים.

בעקבות הפרסומים ב'כיכר השבת' על מקרי תקיפה קשים שהתרחשו בשכונות חרדיות בתקופה האחרונה, נרשמת התעוררות בנושא

לידי 'כיכר השבת' הגיע מכתב חריג שנשלח להוריהם של תלמידות בית הספר 'בית יעקב' הפועל בשכונה מסוימת בירושלים, ונחשב לבית ספר מפורסם.

זהו מכתב חריג מאוד, המהווה תקדים בציבור החרדי, שכן עד עתה לא נרשמה התייחסות פומבית לנושא, בטח שלא בפירוט כזה.

Woman stoned in Beit Shemesh

YNET  "My heart was pounding and all I wanted to do was get out of there," Daniel described her ordeal. "I was terrified. I had my baby with me."

Daniel told Ynet she arrived in Beit Shemesh to purchase a stroller, for her seven-month-old twins. "I was opening the trunk – I was on the phone – when I was pelted. Soon, actual rocks followed. I was helpless."

Two religious women exiting a nearby store rushed to the car to help Daniel get her daughter out of the way and all of them then ran back to the store to take cover.

Heads roll as Chabad rape charges dropped

NYTimes   In a startling reversal in a case that raised questions about misconduct in the Brooklyn district attorney’s office, defense lawyers for two of the four men from Crown Heights, indicted last year on charges of raping and forcibly prostituting a neighborhood woman for nearly a decade, said that prosecutors notified them on Wednesday that they were planning to drop all charges in the case. 

 The charges, brought against the men last June, created an initial shock not only because the victim complained of being attacked beginning at age 13, but also because she was a member of the Chabad Lubavitch community of Orthodox Jews and the accused were older black men in the same neighborhood, where those two groups coexist, but rarely interact. 

Shortly after the police report was produced, Abbie Greenberger, a prosecutor on the case who had quit her job, said that her boss, Lauren Hersh, the chief of the district attorney’s sex-trafficking unit, had pressured her to move forward despite concerns about inconsistencies in the case. Weeks later, Ms. Hersh herself resigned after facing questions from an internal ethics panel.

ORA vs. Rav R' Feinstein's grandson

Jewish Press  article taken down - thanks to Rabbi Tzadok for alternative
The letter and the seruv below - were part of the Jewish Press Article
Please note the disparity between Stern's claim for support for public demonstrations and the actual letter which just says to publicize the matter  - which can also be done with a letter on a bulletin board. 
================================
 Jewish Press Archive  JP: Your latest case is against Rabbi Reuven Feinstein’s grandson. Are you afraid of going toe-to-toe with some of these leading rabbis?

JS: We don’t see it as us vs. them. It’s not ORA that’s doing it. We are the enforcement agent of the Beis Din and these rabbis are coming out and instructing the community to take a stand. Rav Reuven Feinstein, the grandfather of Avrohom Meir Weiss, is supporting him, but every rabbi is on the other side. We have Rav Malkiel Kotler, Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky, Rav [Hershel] Shecheter, Rav [Mordechai] Willig and Rav [Notta] Greenblatt — all these rabbis from different yeshivas are all coming together. We’ve tried to resolve this dispute but the community has to take a stand. It is unique to have such broad support.

ORA Jewish Press Regarding Weiss Seruv - Package Letter to Public Re Rally 6.13.12

5tjt interviews D.A. Charles Hynes

4 views of the Rabbinic role in abuse cases

The discussion of the role of the rabbi in dealing with abuse - reveals that there are four basic views. Without being aware of these different views - people tend to talk past each other even when they are using the same terms and citing the same halachic sources.

1) Rav Menashe Klein wrote a teshuva about how only rabbis know what to do. Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein asserted at a conference of psychologists (Click for recording) a year ago  that only a rabbi knows and understands what abuse is and only he can is competent to judge whether someone is an abuser. He apparently views that psychologists have a limited understand of abuse as well as guilt because they have a secular viewpoint. In short an exclusive Torah background is the prerequisite for being qualified to deal with abuse and identify abusers. However not every rabbi who feels this way is willing to admit it - especially in the face of complaints from the secular authorities

2) The Aguda rabbis  don't claim competence in understand the nature of abuse. But they do claim authority based on halacha to be the gatekeeper of the process. Thus the rabbis and only the rabbi is to decide based on reports or questioning of alleged perpetrator and victim and  possible consultations with psychologists and lawyers - whether the police should be contacted or whether the matter should be dealt with exclusively within the Jewish community. This group manifests various degrees of fear.Some are afraid to say to go to the police - while others are afraid that it become known that they have permitted going to the police. There are also rabbis who are in group one but publicly assert this view - when under pressure from secular forces.

3) There are a number of rabbis - such as RCA 2011 Rav Herschel Schachter 2006,   Crown Heights Beis Din ,  Vaad haRabbonim of Baltimore 2007 who have clearly stated that rabbis have neither the knowledge, competence or authority to deal with abuse. Those rabbis have stated that the secular authorities need to be contacted to investigate and punish the alleged or suspected abuser. These rabbis assert there is no prohibition of mesira in these cases and that the perpetrator has the status of rodef and thus it is simply an act of self-defense to contact the police. In addition - even if they are in agreement with view two - in the fact of mandated reporting laws = they publicly advocate compliance with the law of the land . Many of rabbis who accept this position -  ask not to be named - although others aren't afraid.

4) Various combinations of the above three positions.

Are Rabbis protected by Privileged Communications Laws?

 Update 6/20/2012 I received the following letter as a response to my post which now follows the letter:

Rabbi Eidensohn,

Thanks again for posting on a subject that's both important and fascinating. I have some sources about the situation in New York State, which makes them somewhat tangential to your blog post. (Though N.Y. is, obviously, an important jurisdiction with respect to, e.g., Jewish child abuse cases.) A number of years ago I suffered harm because my layman's intuitions about the clergy-penitent privilege (in New York State) were, as my elders might have said, "_punkt verkehrt_". For the situation in New York, the Court of Appeals decision (2001) in Lightman v. Flaum frames many of the issues quite lucidly:

Lightman v. Flaum, 761 NE 2d 1027 - NY: Court of Appeals 2001 - Google Scholar http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=17074219841436910036&hl=en&as_sdt=2,33 The earlier litigation in the case makes it easier to understand:

Lightman v. Flaum, 179 Misc. 2d 1007 - NY: Supreme Court 1999 - Google Scholar http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=17330171931524873576&hl=en&as_sdt=2,33

Lightman v. Flaum, 278 AD 2d 373 - NY: Appellate Div., 2nd Dept. 2000 - Google Scholar http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=7886059926242344206&hl=en&as_sdt=2,33 It appears to me that it's not just the detailed provisions, but even the underlying _logic_ and _purpose_ of these laws, that varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Every layman I know was surprise when they read Lightman v. Flaum.

P.S. A passage from Wikipedia's article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priest%E2%80%93penitent_privilege#United_States_of_America) might serve as a warning that things aren't necessarily intuitive: In twenty-five states, the clergyman-communicant statutory privilege does not clearly indicate who holds the privilege. In seventeen states, the penitent's right to hold the privilege is clearly stated. In only six states, both a penitent and a member of the clergy are expressly allowed by the statute to hold the privilege.

 ========================================================
 This was my original post:
Privileged communication for clergyman is not clearly defined in New Jersey. In other words a determined prosecutor probably could get charges to stick. There is also the important distinction of whether it is a confession or that the beis din is aware from other sources. Confession is the most likely protected knowledge.

The following is a government report summarizing the issues of clergy as mandated reporting

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/clergymandated.pdf

Privileged Communications
As a doctrine of some faiths, clergy must maintain the confidentiality of pastoral communications. Mandatory reporting statutes in some States specify the circumstances under which a communication is “privileged” or allowed to remain confidential. Privileged communications may be exempt from the requirement to report suspected abuse or neglect. The privilege of maintaining this confidentiality under State law must be provided by statute. Most States do provide the privilege, typically in rules of evidence or civil procedure.4 If the issue of privilege is not addressed in the reporting laws, it does not mean that privilege is not granted; it may be granted in other parts of State statutes.
This privilege, however, is not absolute. While clergy-penitent privilege is frequently recognized within the reporting laws, it is typically interpreted narrowly in the context of child abuse or neglect. The circumstances under which it is allowed vary from State to State, and in some States it is denied altogether. For example, among the States that list clergy as mandated reporters, New Hampshire and West Virginia deny the clergy-penitent privilege in cases of child abuse or neglect. Four of the States that enumerate “any person” as a mandated reporter (North Carolina, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, and Texas) also deny clergy-penitent privilege in child abuse cases.
In States where neither clergy members nor “any person” are enumerated as mandated reporters, it is less clear whether clergy are included as mandated reporters within other broad categories of professionals who work with children. For example, in Virginia and Washington, clergy are not enumerated as mandated reporters, but the clergy-penitent privilege is affirmed within the reporting laws. [which isn't true of New Jersey]

Molester killed by Father - case sent to Grand Jury

Chicago Tribune  A grand jury next week will consider whether to file charges against a Texas father who said he beat to death a man who was attempting to sexually assault his 5-year-old daughter, the district attorney for Lavaca County said on Friday.

A witness saw Jesus Flores, 47, "forcibly" carrying the girl to a secluded location and notified her 23-year-old father, who was attending a barbecue at the family's ranch outside Shiner, Texas, last Saturday, District Attorney Heather McMinn said.

The father, whose name has not been released because he has not been charged with a crime, heard his daughter's screams and ran to a secluded area, where he "removed Flores from on top of his child and, in the process, inflicted several blows to the man's head and neck area," McMinn said.

Series of attacks on girls in Jerusalem -

.kikarhashabat

תוקף ילדים אכזרי מסתובב בשכונות חרדיות בירושלים, באין מפריע. אתמול הותקפה ילדה קטנה בגן שעשועים מרכזי בשכונת ארזי הבירה. הילדה נכנסה אל מגלשה סגורה, ובתוכה הותקפה ככל הנראה על-ידי אדם בעל חזות חרדית. עסקן שמטפל בפרשה: ההורים חוששים להתלונן (חרדים)....ו

עסקן תושב השכונה, סיפר לכיכר השבת: "אנחנו מקבלים לא מעט תלונות בתקופה האחרונה, אבל הבעיה היא שההורים מפחדים שהילדים יתלוננו במשטרה. הם לא רוצים שילדיהם ייחקרו. אפשר להבין זאת, אבל כך הבעיה מעולם לא תיפתר".

Yosef Kolko: A letter from a defender

I just received the following letter:

Your information is important. My interest is that I had a close friend that was one time accused of wrong doing and when his only accuser matured admitted that he was only accommodating the accusations of his parents. I understand the "two sides of a coin" very well. I visit Lakewood from time to time and observed the accused one Shabbos. You have many assumptions regarding the facts in the case as reported in the news. Many people in Lakewood including the Roshei Yeshiva say that there is no truth to any of the allegations. Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen said that "there was never any Bais Din involved in this case." I asked Horav Yisroel Belsky Shlita after hearing that he personally ruled that Kolko is innocent of any wrong doing why this is so. He responded that this is a case where the accused is the victim and the victim is the molester. I believe that for your own legitimacy you should reach out to properly understand the facts and dynamics of this case, as you seem to be condemning what might very well be an innocent man. I can be reached at [ deleted] You may want to clarify with Rabbi Simcha B. Cohen himself, this is his number: 732-370-2217. Rabbi Belsky: 718-941-5832. From what I understand the accused while on the quiet side, is not shy in his defense and speaks openly, perhaps contact him if you wish to hear his side. 

I responded:

Thank you for contacting me. I would be interested in publishing a post from you - or anyone else -  describing "the other side". I have been told that the accused has confessed to the social worker who evaluated him for the sake of the "beis din" which you claim never existed. That social worker was ordered to testify regarding his findings because the findings were no longer privileged information since he has shared them with the "beis din" that you claim doesn't exist.

I haven't said that Yosef Kolko is guilty - but that he has been charged with a serious crime , there is evidence to support the charges which I provided links to on my blog - and like many other cases e.g., Weberman - the victim and his family have been attacked. I am well aware that false accusations happen - but I am also fully aware that abuse does happen in the frum community.

I would like to talk with you to hear your view - I'll try calling this evening.

CNN: Abuse coverup in Orthodox community

What makes a pedophile tick?

Time Magazine   In a study published in Biological Psychiatry, Martin Walter and his colleagues found that the hypothalamic regions of the brains of pedophiles, a region heavily involved in sexual identity and behavior, are not stimulated by erotic images of adults the way that nonpedophiliac brains are. Neurologically, pedophiles don’t identify adults as sexually attractive. Other brain-imaging works by James Cantor and colleagues published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research and Kolja Schiltz and colleagues writing in the Archives of General Psychiatry confirm that pedophiles have impairments to brain structures involved in sexual development. Put simply, the brains of pedophiles are different from those of other adults.

More research will continue to clarify the origins of a behavior that is extremely difficult for most of us to understand and is deeply repugnant. One common misconception is that victims of childhood sexual abuse are highly likely to later become abusers themselves. Most of the studies that supported this view were retrospective studies of offenders asking them whether they had been abused. The problem is that many perpetrators see claims of their own abuse as a potential mitigating factor that will lead to leniency. However, even such retrospective studies like one published in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2001 find that the majority of abusers do not report having been abused themselves as children. And a longitudinal 2003 study, a better standard for assessing risk, made clear that the vast majority of sexual-abuse victims do not become abusers. Those few who did tended to experience other forms of neglect and violence within the family. The victim of sexual assault who is otherwise cared for by his or her family is highly unlikely to become a future predator. Like many abnormal behaviors, pedophilia likely stems from a biological predisposition combined with exposure to a harsh environment. Child abuse is horrific; but the fact that it doesn’t produce an endless chain of future abuse is something we can take small comfort in.

Everyone is Good until Tested - responding to abuse

NYTimes by Maureen Dowd   In February 2001, McQueary was home one night watching the movie “Rudy,” about a runty football player who achieves his dream of playing at Notre Dame by the sheer force of his gutsy character. McQueary, a graduate assistant coach and former Penn State quarterback, was so inspired that he got up and went over to the locker room to get some tapes of prospective recruits. 

There he ran smack into his own character test. The strapping 6-foot-4 redhead told the court he saw his revered boss and former coach reflected in the mirror: Sandusky, Joe Paterno’s right hand, was grinding against a little boy in the shower in an “extremely sexual” position, their wet bodies making “skin-on-skin slapping sounds.” He met their eyes, Sandusky’s blank, the boy’s startled. 

“I’ve never been involved in anything remotely close to this,” the 37-year-old McQueary said. “You’re not sure what the heck to do, frankly.”

"Taliban mother" released after 4 years in jail

YNET  After four years behind bars, a Beit Shemesh resident known as "Taliban mom" was released from prison on Sunday. The woman was convicted in 2009 of aggravated assault and abuse of a minor for continually abusing six of her 12 children for 25 years.

The woman's husband was also convicted of abuse and failure to report the abuse to the authorities, and was sentenced to six months in prison.

The mother, who was nicknamed "Taliban mom" on account of her refusal to reveal her face during her trial, was originally charged with abusing all 12 of her children.

The final indictment included multiple counts of abuse against only six of the the children, both due to some of the cases falling under the statute of limitations, and the fact that several of the children refused to testify.

Frozen (potential) grandchildren - latest trend

 NYTimes   The technology to freeze a woman’s delicate eggs to be used later, when the eggs being released by her ovaries may no longer be viable, has improved sharply over the past decade. There currently is no single source of data on the number of women who are choosing to freeze their eggs, but doctors in the United States say the practice is slowly growing. 

The procedure remains expensive, generally costing between $8,000 and $18,000. And because it offers no guarantees and is still considered experimental by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a professional association, it can seem to some like an extravagant gamble. 

But it is a gamble that many would-be grandparents are willing to take with their daughters, even if it means navigating a potentially uncomfortable conversation.[...]

Even Ms. West’s mother, an international environmental and human rights lawyer, whom Ms. West described as “very career oriented” and “not the type to nag,” could not resist a joke after hearing how many of her daughter’s eggs had been successfully frozen. “I have 26 grandbabies!” she exclaimed.

 See this article  Psychology Today: How eggs are different from frozen waffles

Hi-tech exec - charged with online child abuse

YNet  A 41-year-old high-tech executive has been charged with a line of serious sexual offences involving minors on Sunday. A 44-page indictment filed with the Petah Tikva Magistrate's Court lists 33 counts based on the testimonies of female and male teenagers. The prosecution noted there is evidence for dozens of additional acts.

In one of the cases described in the indictment, the defendant solicited a 13-year-old boy to perform indecent acts and acts of sodomy on his 11-year-old sister.

Posing as sexually experienced teenage girl, the defendant victimized dozens of teenagers and convinced them to perform indecent acts as well as acts of rape and sodomy on camera on various online chat rooms.  [...]

Fight over Yated - Rav S. Auerbach's side

kikarhashabat

פרשת המחלוקת בבטאון יתד נאמן ממשיכה להסעיר את הציבור החרדי: שעה קלה לפני כניסת השבת הגיע הרב שמואל אריה לוין, מרבני ארגנטינה ומתלמידי מרן הרב שך זצ"ל, אל ביתו של הגר"ש אויערבך בירושלים שם זעק מרה כנגד ההשתלטות על העיתון

לדבריו, הוא זכה להיות בביתו של הרב שך בשעה שהכריז על הקמת העיתון, בכדי שיהיה שופר ראוי להפצת ההשקפה הטהורה ולהילחם את מלחמות היהדות הנאמנה.

"

לאחר שהוקם העיתון", אמר הרב לוין, "הרב שך בכה בפניי שאינו יכול לנוח ולהיות בשלווה כל זמן שרוצים להרוס את עיתון יתד נאמן

[....]

"ועכשיו", המשיך הרב לזעוק, "כואב הלב שהגיע "בעל בית" מניו יורק ומבקש להשתלט על העיתון בגלל שיש לו כסף".

$28 million award in religious abuse case

ABC News    A Northern California jury has awarded $28 million in damages to a woman who said the Jehovah's Witnesses allowed an adult member of a Fremont church to molest her when she was a child in the mid-1990s.

Alameda County jurors awarded $7 million in compensatory damages on Wednesday and another $21 million in punitive damages on Thursday to Candace Conti, her attorney, Rick Simons said.

"This is the largest jury verdict for a single victim in a religious child abuse case in the country," Simons told The Associated Press.

A Talmud chachom shouldn't serve his son?!

Kiddushin( 31b): R. Jacob b. Abbahu asked Abaye: ‘I, for instance, for whom my father pours out a cup [of wine] and my mother mixes it on my returning from the school, what am I to do’? — ‘Accept it from your mother,’ he replied: ‘but not from your father; for since he is a scholar, he may feel affronted.’

This is the halacha in Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 240:25)

Thus that the halacha is that a father can serve his son a drink - but not if the father is a talmid chachom because it is against the mitzva to honor his father. Is this a din only for a son or it applies to every talmid chachom? Why will the father be upset if his son accepts? Why should the father even offer it if it in fact will cause him to be upset if his offer is accepted? Why wasn't Avraham upset at serving what he though were idol worshipers and in fact he is held up as a role model of chesed?

Perfectionism - On the Level

Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen honors July 4th

Last year the Lakewood Scoop  reported that the shul of Rav Cohen in Lakewood displayed an American Flag on the front of the shul to honor July 4th. It reported that displays of patriotism were strongly encouraged by Rav Avidgod Miller who was Rav Cohen's grandfather in law.

It also contained the following from Halacha for Today

Question: Displaying the American flag, is that considered a gentile ideal?

Answer by HaRav Avigdor Miller Zatzal:

Let me tell you something, Fifty years ago I wouldn’t have spoken about that. I have been speaking more than fifty years in public; I didn’t speak about American flags. We don’t need it. Who needs American flags? It wasn’t necessary. Today I say, if you want to do it, I say Yasher Koach. Do you know why? Because all the Reshaim are trampling on the flag, and they’re trying to desecrate America. You know why? Not because they’re good goyim, because they are Reshaim Gemurim; the liberals are trying to ruin everything. And when that wicked Supreme Court permitted burning an American flag, and saying you cannot make a law against it, it was a desecration of America

After all, America is a good country. We came from countries where we were persecuted, and this country gave us all the rights. I say we should kiss the ground of America. I was in Europe for some time; I went to study in the Yeshiva. I came back and I saw this was a blessed country; it’s a gift from Hashem to us. Shouldn’t we appreciate it? And therefore I say a Jew should hang out the flag. Yes; today yes. I won’t say you’re a sinner if you don’t, but I think it’s a good thing to hang out the flag today. It’s not a contradiction, not a contradiction by any means.

We hang out the flag from this Shul on the Fourth of July.

Is Yosef Kolko supported by Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen?

The new appeal ad for Yosef Kolko contains two changes from the previous appeal ad

- 1) A citation from the Rambam and 2) the use of Rav Simcha Bunim's shul as a conduit for donations. The Rambam (Hilchos Rotzeach1: 14-16) is not obviously not applicable because it applies to a victim not the perpetrator! However the involvement of Cong. Ateres Yeshaya is  disturbing.

For background information see Jewish Week Hella Winston- Parallel Justice System

Clergy fight change to statute of limitations

NYTimes   While the first criminal trial of a Roman Catholic church official accused of covering up child sexual abuse has drawn national attention to Philadelphia, the church has been quietly engaged in equally consequential battles over abuse, not in courtrooms but in state legislatures around the country.

The fights concern proposals to loosen statutes of limitations, which impose deadlines on when victims can bring civil suits or prosecutors can press charges. These time limits, set state by state, have held down the number of criminal prosecutions and civil lawsuits against all kinds of people accused of child abuse — not just clergy members, but also teachers, youth counselors and family members accused of incest.

Victims and their advocates in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts and New York are pushing legislators to lengthen the limits or abolish them altogether, and to open temporary “windows” during which victims can file lawsuits no matter how long after the alleged abuse occurred.

The Catholic Church has successfully beaten back such proposals in many states, arguing that it is difficult to get reliable evidence when decades have passed and that the changes seem more aimed at bankrupting the church than easing the pain of victims.

Rav Steinman ends bullying of Yated Ne'eman

The reign of bullying by the Hebrew Yated Ne'eman comes to an end as Rav Steinman took control by having R' Shimmy Glick buy the newspaper and fire the staff.

kikarhashabat

במשך עשרות שנים, הצליח עיתון אחד, מגזרי, להלך אימים על רבותיו, ולא רק: מישהו מכיר רב, ראש-ישיבה, או אדמו"ר מפורסם שלא חטף אי-פעם "עקיצה" מהיומון "יתד נאמן"? האם למישהו השם "יתד נאמן" משדר משהו חיובי בכלל?  

עורכי העיתון החצופים הצליחו פעם אחר פעם, בשחצנות שאין לה אח ורע בעולם החרדי, ללעוג לרבותיהם, לרבנים מפורסמים ולאדמו"רים שכל חייהם הוקדשו לפעילות חסד וקדושה ברחבי הארץ והעולם

אלה שיחקו בתוארים של רבנים, השפילו ורוממו, והכל על-פי מצב הרוח באותו הבוקר.

לפני כשבועיים, בצעד היסטורי, הצליח מרן ראש-הישיבה הגראי"ל שטיינמן להחזיר את המושכות לגדולי ישראל. ההמשך היה אמש, כפי שדווח בהרחבה ב'כיכר השבת': גורמים שונים, מההנהלה הישנה של העיתון, ניסו בכל דרך למנוע את פרסום המכתב של מרן הגר"ח קנייבסקי

[...]

נסיים בציטוט ממכתבו של הרב קנייבסקי, המתפרסם היום ב"יתד": "והנה חובה לכל לציית לכל מוצא פיו של מרן שליט"א והזהרו בגחלתן, ובזה מקיימים מ"ע ועשית ככל אשר יורוך, וכל העוזרים והמסייעים בהנהלת העיתון החדשה בראשות הר"ר שמעון גליק שליט"א יתברכו בכל טוב סלה. חיים קניבסקי"..

.

אהרל'ה יקטר רושף אש: אתרא קדישא - טרוריסטים

kikarhashabat

אהרל'ה יקטר, איש הועד למניעת חילול קברים ויריבם המר של אנשי אתרא קדישא, הואשם השבוע בחילול שבת לאחר שהתראיין לתחקיר ששודר בערוץ 2, בליל שבת.

כעת, הוא משיב מלחמה שערה. בראיון לתוכנית טוקר FM ברדיו גלי ישראל עם מנחם טוקר, תוקף יקטר: "אתרא קדישא חופרים קברים. הם עושים הפגנה ביפו, מביאים את גדולי ישראל ובאותו זמן - 500 מטרים משם חופרים יותר קברים. הם עושים טרור לכולם, הם עושים חילול השם, זורקים אבנים בשבת ויש שם כלי תקשורת שמצלמים אותם.

"הם חופרים קברים, עושים את כל העברות שבתורה. אני לא מדבר על כספים שהם חייבים לאנשים ולא משלמים".

Bar Ilan conference on Orthodox wife abuse

YNET אלימות במשפחה היא מכת מדינה שאינה מבחינה בין מגזרים ואוכלוסיות, אך בכל זאת, עד לאחרונה לא בוצע מעולם מחקר על שכיחות התופעה במגזר החרדי. בכך נותר הבית החרדי סגור ומסוגר, גם אם מאחורי הדלת התרחשו מחזות מסמרי שיער

YNet English   Domestic violence is a national epidemic that does not differentiate between sectors of the population, and yet, until recently no study has been conducted to examine the frequency of the phenomenon within the haredi sector.

Dr. Mally Schori-Biton, a criminologist and couples' therapist from Ariel University Center conducted a pioneer research that aimed to distinguish the phenomenon's unique characteristics within the religious and haredi sectors, while addressing a subject that was considered taboo for many years – violence against women.

The research will be presented during a conference in Bar Ilan University on June 20, which will host the top therapists in the haredi sector. 

The dangers of new technology e.g., the Printing Press

The Atlantic   Near the end of the conference, Rabbi Jacob Schacter of Yeshiva University -- who had taught many of the men in the room and was affectionately called "Rebbe" -- led a session offering some Jewish reflections on the age of the internet. Though the men gathered for this conference were modern Orthodox, not the Haredim whom the media usually call "ultra-Orthodox," I immediately thought of the recent ultra-Orthodox rally in New York that focused on the dangers of the Internet. But Rabbi Schacter pursued these issues in a surprising and, to me, enlightening way. 

Professor Fishbane and I had prepared some brief handouts to guide the participants in our sessions, but Rabbi Schacter had a rather more ambitious plan. After recommending Clay Shirky's recent books Here Comes Everybody and Cognitive Surplus -- he was speaking my language then -- he plopped before each of us a three-ring binder filled with photocopies of passages from a wide variety of rabbinical texts, most of them dealing with the proper preparation of a divorce decree, known as a get. (Anyone who has seen the movie A Serious Man will be familiar with the complexities of the get.) 

This seemed a strange way to proceed, but I soon saw the sense of it, because traditionally a get had to be written by a sofer (scribe) according to a very strict protocol -- and with the rise of the printing press in the sixteenth century, debates ensued among rabbis about whether a printed get could ever be legitimate. This led in turn to a fascinatingly complex debate, chiefly focused on the Taz, a name that refers both to a book (the Turel Zahav) and its author (David HaLevi Segal, a seventeenth-century Polish rabbi). The Taz is itself a commentary on the Shulchan Aruch, written a century earlier in Safed by Rabbi Yosef Karo.

Killing child molesters - is it legal?

Time  Consider it a warning to those who would stoop to sexually abuse children: on Saturday, a Texas father who allegedly discovered a man sexually assaulting his 4-year-old daughter hit him so hard that he killed him.

And few seemed to care. “Dad’s a hero in my book,” was one of more than 5,400 comments on CNN. “No jury in this country will convict the father,” read another.

The incident took place in Lavaca County, Texas, west of Houston, where the girl’s family had invited people over, including the man who was killed. Neither man has been identified, but Lavaca County Sheriff Micah Harmon told CNN that they were casual acquaintances. The preschooler stayed inside her house while relatives were outside tending to the horses; when her father came back, he found the man attacking his daughter and cut short the assault by punching him in the head multiple times.

Must teach until students understand reasons

Shulchan Aruch(Y. D. 246:10): If a when a teacher gives a lessen and the students don't understand he should not get angry at them. Instead he should patiently teach over and over against until they understand the depth of the matter. On the other hand a student should not say that he understands when he doesn't.  Instead he should continue asking questions until he understands it. And if the teacher gets angry with him he should reply, "This is Torah and I have to learn it but my mental abilities are limited."

Eiruvin(54b):Rabbi Akiva asked, How do we know that a teacher is obligated to keep teaching his student until he has mastered the subject? We learn it from the verse (Devarim 31:19), And you shall teach it to the children of Israel.And how do we know that it must be taught until the students are totally fluent in the material? Because that verse says, “Put it in their mouths.” And how we know that the teacher needs to explain the reasons to the students [and not just teach it didacticly – Rashi]? Because the verse (Shemos 21:1) says, Now these are the laws which You have put before them.

Eiruvin (54b): R. Pereda had a pupil whom he taught his lesson four hundred times before the latter could master it. On a certain day having been requested to attend to a religious matter he taught him as usual but the pupil could not master the subject. ‘What’, the Master asked: ‘is the matter to-day?’ — ‘From the moment’, the other replied. ‘the Master was told that there was a religious matter to be attended to I could not concentrate my thoughts, for at every moment I imagined, now the Master will get up or now the Master will get up’. ‘Give me your attention’, the Master said, ‘and I will teach you again’, and so he taught him another four hundred times. A bath kol issued forth asking him, ‘Do you prefer that four hundred years shall be added to your life or that you and your generation shall be privileged to have a share in the world to come?’ — ‘That’, he replied. ‘I and my generation shall be privileged to have a share in the world to come’. ‘Give him both’, said the Holy One, blessed be He.

Reality Check:Self-Esteem vs "You're not special"

Eliyahu will poskin - not Moshe - because he never died

Dr. Marc Shapiro in the recent Seforim Blog wrote:

I recently found a very interesting comment by R. Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev, Kedushat Levi ha-Shalem (Jerusalem, 1958), Likutim, pp. 316-317. He asks why we say תשבי יתרץ קושיות ואבעיות, that in Messianic days Elijah will answer all problems. Since Moses will be resurrected, and he is the giver of the Torah, why don’t we say that he will provide the answers? R. Levi Yitzhak explains that only one who is living in this world knows what the situation is and how the halakhah should be decided. This is not the case with one who is dead and has lost his worldly connection. This explains why Elijah will provide all the answers, as he never died and was always part of the world. Therefore, unlike Moses, Elijah is the one qualified to decide matters affecting us. The lesson here is obvious, especially for those who think that every issue must be decided in Israel by authorities who really have really no conception of how American Jews live.

I found this same idea in the Beis Elokim of the Mabit who predated the Kedushas Levi

בית אלקים (שער היסודות - פרק ששים): והחכמים שימצאו באותו הדור ילמדו חכמת התורה לאותם שנקברו זה כמה שנים, וגם ימצאו ספרי התורה ונביאים וכתובים אשר יהיו באותו הזמן ומהם ילמדו תורה שבכתב ותורה שבעל פה, כפי מה שהוא רמוז בה כפי שלמדו החכמים שבדור ההוא, ואליהו ז"ל ימצא בפרסום בזמן ההוא אשר הוא "תשבי "יתרץ "קושיות "והויות, והוא ישיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם בכל הדברים ובפרט בקבלת התורה ובכל העניינים שהיו נסתרים בעוה"ז הכל יתגלה על ידי אליהו הנביא, כי שאר הנביאים והשופטים והחכמים אשר היו בדורות העוברים וגם האבות והשבטים וממשה רבינו ע"ה עד ימי התחייה כשיחיו, לא ידעו מענייני העוה"ז ממה שקרה אחרי מותם, כי היו בג"ע התחתון והעליון מובדלים מענייני העוה"ז הגשמי, אבל אליהו ז"ל אשר חיה מימות משה רבינו עד ימי יהורם ידע כל מה שהיה בימיו, ואחר הסתלקותו בגוף ונפש נזדכך גופו כאחד מן הגרמים השמימיים או יותר, והכינו האל יתברך להמצא בעת צרת ישראל להצילם על ידו ובזכותו בכל הדורות אשר הם צריכים לו, ומתגלה ג"כ לחכמי ישראל לגלות להם סודות התורה כפי הכנת כל דור ודור, מלבד מה שמקובל אצלנו היותו מצוי נ(מצות ברית מילה אשר קנא עליה ואנחנו מכינים בפועל כסא לכבודו:

Florida's Mandated reporting law - $1 million fine

VIN Editorial    It is that common theme, again, that is once again in the news - the abuse of young people where someone in authority is protecting the abuser or molester. The names and players change but the theme remains constant.  And, unfortunately, there does not seem to be an adequate solution.

After the Baruch Lanner case many thinkers in our community had thought that the times of covering up were over.  A few years elapsed.  Then came the accusations against Kolko and people once again thought that a fundamental change had happened. It didn’t. We went back to the same routine.  And many more innocents were victimized.  Newspapers and bloggers picked up the cry for protection of the innocents and the abused, but by and large, our leadership did not make the fundamental changes that were necessary for complete safety in schools. 

Last week, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes issued a call to push for a law that would make Rabbis into mandated reporters.  The call was not met with welcoming arms.  A subtle rift was detected by some between the Brooklyn DA and some of the Rabbinic leaders who had formerly worked together. 

There is one thing that will work, though, and it is perhaps time that we do it.Florida Governor Rick Scott has recently signed a bill, SB 1816 , into law that we must adopt here in our fine state of New York, as well. Institutions must put the well-being of children before their own reputations.  Florda’s SB 1816 provides the toughest child abuse reporting law in the country and gives the law some teeth too.

In essence, institutions that do not report allegations of child abuse will face huge fines – fines to the tune of $1,000,000.  That’s right, one million dollars.  New York State must also pass such a law. 

If New York State passes such a law, no institution will question their obligation to report.  The law also draws no distinction between mandated reporters or not.  Any school or institution that suppresses or quashes a report will face the fine.[...]