Kiruv skills save Black marriages for $500,000

Mother Jones\ /Senator Lieberman's praise in Congressional Record

Stephen Baars has a few impediments to connecting with his current audience. Among them: He's a redheaded white guy. He's a rabbi. And he has a British accent.

None of these was a big problem when Baars was offering his "Bliss" marriage enhancement seminars to suburban Jews in Bethesda, Maryland. But in 2006, much to his surprise, the Department of Health and Human Services awarded him a five-year, $500,000-a-year "Healthy Marriage" grant. His federally mandated mission: to bring down the divorce rate in Washington, DC, whose population is more than 55 percent black and 20 percent poor. So for the past two years or so, Baars has been running ads in local papers and on black radio stations to entice couples to drop by his office in a gritty area just north of the Capitol and "create relationships that win!"

On a warm Thursday night in May, Baars, dressed in a gray suit and yarmulke, is sitting alone in his third-floor conference room, awaiting some bliss seekers. He understands that achieving his federal grant's goal is "a tough nut to crack." "When you're dealing with that degree of poverty, it's very hard for people to take this seriously," he says. "I read many black magazines," he adds—but even so, the cultural disconnect can be daunting. "Twenty or thirty percent of the people who come here can't deal with it."[...]

Rav Moshe:Sanctions against intemarried couples

Whether to given an aliyah to a bar mitzva boy whose father is not Jewish?

I was asked by a rav whether a boy who was born to a Jewish woman who is married to a non‑Jew is allowed to be called up to the Torah on his bar mitzva? I replied that even though it is obvious that the boy is a Jew in all respects – according to the majority of rishonim which established the halacha and consequently there is an obligation to teach him Torah and to educate him in doing mitzvos – but in fact if his mother is still living in sin with the non‑Jew and she isn’t concerned with the prohibition of the Torah and her son is being raised with them – then as for the sake of the Jewish community (migder milsa) he should be prevented from getting an aliyah on his bar mitzva and there should be no celebration in the synagogue. Similarly it is better not to accept him as a student in the day school for this reason of the welfare of the Jewish community.

Only when the mother leaves the non‑Jewish father do we need to be concerned for the Jewish nature of her children from the non‑Jew and be concerned with educating them properly. In such a case it would be proper to give him an aliya and to make a celebration on his bar mitzva.

However if there is concern that other children will be negatively influenced by accepting him into the day school - then it is prohibited to accept him also according to halacha [and not just because of migder milsa]

שו"ת אגרות משה אורח חיים חלק ב סימן עג

אם לקרא לתורה ביום הבר מצוה שלו לבן ישראלית מנכרי י"ח שבט תשט"ו.

נשאלתי מרב אחד אם יניחו לבן הנולד לישראלית הנשואה לנכרי לקראו לתורה ביום הבר מצוה שלו, והשבתי שאף שפשוט שיש להבן דין ישראל לכל דבר לרוב הראשונים שהלכה כמותם ויש ממילא חיוב ללמדו תורה ולחנכו במצות, אבל למעשה אם עדיין אמו ברשעתה עומדת ודרה עם הנכרי ומופקרת לכל האיסורין ומתחנך הבן אצלם יש למיגדר מלתא בכל האפשר שלא יקראו אותו לתורה ביום הבר מצוה שלו ולא יעשו איזה שמחה שם, וכן היה טוב שלא לקבלו ללמוד בהת"ת מאותו הטעם למיגדר מלתא, ורק כשתפרד האם מהנכרי יש ללמדו כדין ולקראו לתורה ולעשות שמחה ביום הבר מצוה שלו. ואם יש חשש שיתקלקלו ילדים אחרים עי"ז שיקבלוהו בהת"ת אסור גם מדינא. משה פיינשטיין.

R' Nochem Kaplan: Jewish education

Chabad Lubavitch News


Let me first say this: I believe that the quality of Jewish education today is better than it was a generation ago. But the demands of the times are much greater. Children must feel that education speaks to them, encourages them, interests them, and excites them so that distractions from the outside don't take priority. We're still falling short here. The world today is an exciting place. If you just log on to the internet, the distractions are enormous and pervasive, so you can't expect a child to go back to learning by rote—it has to be something far more involving than that.[...]

Tosfos: Public knowledge is not lashon harah

Chofetz Chaim (clall 2) goes into great detail to try and disprove the simple understanding of Bava Basra (39b)/Erachin (16a), Tosfos and the view of the Rambam. These sources seem to say that the essence of lashon harah is speaking gossip in a concealed manner - not just saying negative things about others. Thus if it is said in a way that it will become public knowledge then there is no prohibition of lashon harah. This is apparently closer to the peshat of Vayikra (19:16).

Erachin(16a): Disparaging remarks said in front of three people is not considered lashon harah. What is the reaon? Because your friend has a friend and your friend’s friend has a friend [and thus it is considered public knowledge].

Tosfos (Bava Basra 39b): Negative words about another person that are said n the presence of three people is not prohibited as lashon harah - either to say or to repeat it to others This is clarified by the statement said in Erachin (15b) There this statement is said in the context of R’ Yossi statement in which he said, “I have never said something and looked around to see who was listening.” That means he wasn’t concerned if the one he was talking about was there. [That proves that saying negative comments in the presence of three people is not considered lashon harah – Rashi].

Rambam(Hilchos De’os 7:5): Speaking lashon harah is prohibited whether the person being spoken about is present or not. Those words which will cause harm to another person - either physically or financially when repeated by others or even if it upset him or frightens him – is considered lashon harah. If these types of words are said in the presence of three people then it can be assumed that they have become public knowledge Therefore if one of the three repeats the negative words which he had heard on another occasion – there is no prohibition of lashon harah. However this is only permitted if he did not intend to spread the news and cause it to become more known.

EJF innovation - Women's mentoring symposium

Hat tip to RaP. His commentary is in comment section

November Dayanim Conference to Include Mentor Symposium

A WOMEN'S MENTOR symposium will take place November 8-9 in tandem with the annual Dayanim Conference at the Sheraton Meadowlands in NJ. By holding the mentor symposium concurrently with the dayanim conference, distinguished rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva will enhance the program by providing their perspective and responding to questions regarding the expectations of the batei din. The symposium will address the role of the mentor in guiding candidates, assisting them in meeting the requirements of their officiating bais din, and ultimately helping them integrate into a Torah community.

The participating women are either recommended by various batei din, were previously involved in kiruv, or aspire to be part of the EJF mission.

In addition to the formal lectures, the symposium is an opportunity for the mentors to share experiences and to learn from each other's diverse backgrounds. The EJF mentor symposiums have proven to be extremely informative, helping to create a network for people with a common goal: to work alongside the bais din in helping committed intermarried couples build a Torah home. Approximately thirty mentors are expected to attend. For more information please contact Rochel Weinstein: (845) 357-1022 x106 .
=====================================
The following appeared in the The Jewish Press October 30, 2009 Page 8.

Hamodia Community 10 Cheshvan 5770 | October 28, 2009 Page C29
Eternal Jewish family: The Lillian Jean Kaplan Jewish Pride Through Education Project Presents

A Symposium For Women Mentoring/Tutoring Conversion Candidates

An opportunity to network with other mentors from Around the world, and receive chizuk from gedolei hador. Topics to be addressed:

Developing Jewish Character and Its Role In Conversion
Open Question and Answer Forum
Challenged of Educating Intermarried Couples Sincerely Committed to Building Authentic Torah Homes
Q & A Panel Featuring Leading Dayanim from Around the World
Informal Mentor Networking Session
Perspective of Geirus Candidates and Mentors Divrei Chizuk

Sunday, November 8 - Monday, November 9, 2009 Sheraton Meadowlands, East Rutherford, NJ
EJFI sponsors travel expenses and hotel accommodations. Participation is based on approval only.
If you are an interested mentor or tutor, please contact us for an application.

Yemen: End of the Jewish community

Haaretz

About 60 Yemini Jews have been secretly flown in to the United States since July, the Wall Street Journal reported on Saturday, adding that 100 more were scheduled to arrive in the coming months.

Earlier in the year Haaretz reported that the U.S. government was taking part in efforts to extricate Jews in Yemen as result of the physical harassment they had suffered from their Muslim neighbors.[...]

Re-endorsing Caterer who lost certification

1) LASHON HARAH ALERT

Assertions made by any poster - should not be assumed to be true until checked with authoritative rabbis. They are allowed only for the concerns that they raise - so that people can be alterted to investigate so as to avoid harm.

Acceptance of a post is not assurance that it is accurate or in proper context. Even notices said in the name of major rabbis need to be checked out to see that they were actually authorized by those rabbis.


Just received the following letter

Recently, the head of a kashrus supervision agency asked me for marei mekomos for not reendorsing a caterer who lost his kashrus license for deliberately violating policy and halocha.

Below is what I have come up with so far. I would like to find more contemporary applications especially involving hechsheirim. Please let me know if you have anything to add or if you know who might.

Ikar that a yid is more chomer than a goy and svora: SA 118 taz sk 2

Ikar that when caught must be removed and only takanah etc.
SA 119 15-17 vn"k shom

Ikar heter (shoel umeshiv) and that it is to be used with discretion Darkei Teshuva here, 117. Also see earlier DT leading up to that.

Of contemporary teshuvos that mashgiach can't possibly watch someone choshud 24/7 and doesn't help dayan Weiss- shu"t minchas yitzchok chelek 3 siman 95 (talking about shaala with goy but talks about yid....)

Thank you and AGSH

Naomi Remen: "Our stories are all we have"

Turkey is no longer Israel's ally

JPOST Daniel Pipes

"There is no doubt he is our friend," Turkey's prime minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, says of Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, even as he accuses Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman of threatening to use nuclear weapons against Gaza. These outrageous assertions point to the profound change of orientation by Turkey's government - for six decades the West's closest Muslim ally - since Erdogan's AK party came to power in 2002.

Three events this past month reveal the extent of that change. The first came on October 11 with the news that the Turkish military - a long-time bastion of secularism and advocate of cooperation with Israel - abruptly asked Israeli forces not to participate in the annual "Anatolian Eagle" air force exercise. [...]

Abusive use of religious noise

JPOST

While recent rioting in and around Jerusalem's Old City has left religious tensions between the capital's Muslims and Jews simmering, a new dispute - this time concerning the volume of prayers, more than the prayers themselves - is resonating in outlying neighborhoods.

Jewish residents of these areas, all of which are in close proximity to Arab neighborhoods in the capital's east, have begun to complain that the adhan, or Islamic call to prayer, which is broadcast five times a day from loudspeakers inside local mosques, has become an intolerable nuisance, particularly when it blasts through their neighborhoods at 4 a.m. every day.

"It's as if they took the speakers and put them inside my bedroom," Yehudit Raz, a resident of the northeast Pisgat Ze'ev neighborhood, told The Jerusalem Post on Thursday. "And it's not from one mosque or two mosques - we're talking about tons of speakers going off, one after the other, every morning." [...]

Fears of Modern Orthodox Geirim

An anonymous commentator wrote:

I converted with a MO beis din, well actually two MO dayanim (definitely MO NOT conservadox/traditional/or anything of that nature) and one yeshivish dayan, in a mid-sized, but long established, out of town community twenty years ago. Since that time I married, am raising kah several children, wear a sheitel, and am pretty indistinguishable from the rest of my "middle of the road" slightly to the right of MO community.

I admit that there have been times when I've cringed at some conversions (not by my beis din) which I've seen. That being said, though, I am shaking in my shoes over what is lying in wait for me when my children reach shidduchim.

It seems that geirus has turned into nothing less than a witch hunt in recent years. That long-standing conversions are now going to be under a microscope seems very wrong, and something that is likely to prove a great embarrassment and emotionally traumatic for many totally sincere converts. It frightens me that the chareidi world, which does not accept MO as an acceptable hashkafa, is going to determine MY status and that of my children as well.

Add this to the other items I've seen, such as an opinion that the geirus of somebody could possibly be invalid if a dayan does not believe the universe is less than 6,000 years old, a position which was taken by no less than Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan back at that time and by dozens of those now well known in kiruv, and everybody who was converted by MO must be in great fear now.

Emotionally, it takes its toll - I always felt accepted, warmly accepted, but now it is all too clear how many don't really, at heart, want us. It is so terribly terribly painful. I did my part - I've embraced halacha, I've embraced this people, I've sacrificed to pay tuition for the children, and I have done my best, but it feels like hands are grasping to take it all away. How can Hashem let this happen to us? How is it permissible to oppress many sincere geirim in the name of ferreting out a few doubtful conversions?