Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Living with convicted sex offenders in your community
Haaaretz In 2006 the Knesset passed the Public Protection from Sex Offenders
Law, the first of its kind in the country. Its main provisions were to
mandate an assessment, prior to parole, of the threat posed to the
community by each convicted sex offender, and to establish a monitoring
unit. This year an amendment providing for treatment and rehabilitation
of sex offenders was passed.
Plant's whereabouts became public
knowledge when his wife registered their children for school. Last
Friday morning dozens of neighbors gathered outside their building and
prevented the family from going into their apartment. Plant charged at
the group and made it very clear that he had no intention of backing
down. Police officers who were dispatched to the scene explained to the
residents that they could not prevent Plant and his family from living
in the building, but in the end the Plants moved once again.
Plant, 49, has served six separate prison terms for the same number of
convictions for sexual offenses against minors. In the most recent, in
2006, he was sentenced by the Rehovot Magistrate's Court to seven years
for performing indecent acts on nine underage girls while pretending to
be an instructor of Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art that combines
dance and music.
The sex-offender monitoring agency established
under the 2006 law and known as the Tzur unit, has broad powers that
can include surveillance operations, surprise visits, frequent phone
calls and visits with parole officers, as well as almost
around-the-clock supervision and approval prior to an offender's hiring
at a new place of work.
Israel maintains a registry of
convicted sex offenders, to which all of them must report their home
address prior to their release from prison. But in contrast to many
countries, most notably the United States, Israel's registry is
classified. The authorities oppose moves to make the records public, in
part out of fear of widespread violence against offenders living in the
general community.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
תשובת רביד נגר לאישה שנפגעה מהתעללות חוללה סערה
kikarhashabat הרב רביד נגר, מחזיר בתשובה מוכר, מחולל סערה כשהוא מתבטא בצורה שנויה במחלוקת
בתשובה
לאישה שסיפרה בפורום אינטרנטי על אירוע בו התוקפה בנערותה על ידי גבר זר,
ענה הרב כי מדובר בעניין של תיקון "העולם הזה הוא עולם של תיקון" אמר הרב
.
"אני
לא מבינה איך ה' יכול היה לעשות לי כזה דבר. כששאלתי רב באמת גדול ע"כ הוא
אמר שזה התיקון שלי. אני כועסת על ה'. איך אפשר להגיד שזה התיקון שלי"
שאלה האישה
.
הרב נגר, בתשובה ארוכה מאוד, הגיב לשאלתה של האישה, אולם חלקים מתוכה הצליחו לגרום לסערה בכלי התקשורת.
הרב
רביד נגר שפתח ב'אני ממש מצטער בשבילך', כתב לאישה: "למה ילד צריך להיוולד
עם מום? למה יש תינוקות שנולדים מוגבלים? עיוורים? חרשים? למה? מה ה' אוהב
להתעלל בילדים? אני בטוח שלא ! התשובה פשוטה ! העולם הזה הוא עולם התיקון !
עולם שבו אנחנו מתקנים את חטאי העבר , את החטאים שלנו בגלגולים קודמים ,
מי יודע מה את היית בגלגול הקודם? אולי היינו אלימים? אולי פגענו באנשים
אחרים? כל זמן שאין לנו מושג מה היינו בגלגול הקודם , אין לנו שום זכות
לשפוט את בורא עולם ! ה' רוצה שנתקן כדי שנזכה לגן עדן לנצח ! במקום שנסבול
שנים של צער , ה' נותן לנו זכות לסבול כאן בעולם הזה כמה שנים בודדות וע"י כך הוא מציל אותנו ממאות שנות סבל בעליונים".
Obama’s Campaign Diminished the Presidency
Time by Karen Hughes former counselor to President George W. Bush
Like many Republicans across the country, I woke up this morning deeply depressed, my mood soon matched by the falling stock market. I’m distressed not only by the outcome of the presidential election, but also because of the way it was won.
In stark contrast to the hope and optimism he stirred in 2008, this time, President Obama won ugly. During his first election, although I didn’t agree with his proposals or philosophy, I was among those who found myself inspired by the president’s call for our politics to be higher and better. Unfortunately, the way he has governed and the way he conducted this campaign undermined that central and hopeful promise.
In stark contrast to the hope and optimism he stirred in 2008, this time, President Obama won ugly. During his first election, although I didn’t agree with his proposals or philosophy, I was among those who found myself inspired by the president’s call for our politics to be higher and better. Unfortunately, the way he has governed and the way he conducted this campaign undermined that central and hopeful promise.
I felt that I was watching a shrinking presidency as the campaign unfolded, with President Obama getting smaller each day. He often came across as peeved, petty and not presidential. On stage during the first debate he looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else, and his comments about his opponent were cutting and deeply personal. The final blow came with his comments in the final days to his supporters that “voting is the best revenge.” The mindset that comment reveals is deeply disturbing: an election as a weapon to be wielded against our fellow Americans.
At its core, the central message I took away from the President’s re-election campaign was: Stick with me, we are inching forward and things could be a lot worse. Not exactly a hopeful agenda on which to build.
At its core, the central message I took away from the President’s re-election campaign was: Stick with me, we are inching forward and things could be a lot worse. Not exactly a hopeful agenda on which to build.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Nachalot abuse - case of hysteria & moral panic?
Times of Israel This post is a response to “Nachlaot, where pedophiles roam free,” by Elana Kutscher. In it, I examine the main points made by Elana and analyze their validity.
Elana claims that there are pedophiles in Jerusalem’s Nachlaot neighborhood and that this was reported to the police over a year ago, but that the pedophiles are still there. The implication is that the police did not really do enough about the problem.
On the contrary, the police took immediate action as soon as they were notified about the initial suspected pedophile in November 2010. Afterwards, when neighborhood residents reported more suspects in the summer of 2011, the police again took action and arrested a group of suspects. If anything, the police were overzealous in their pursuit of potential suspects. They arrested several more individuals in January, 2012, simply because of public pressure, even though there was no substantive evidence.
Elana claims that there are pedophiles in Jerusalem’s Nachlaot neighborhood and that this was reported to the police over a year ago, but that the pedophiles are still there. The implication is that the police did not really do enough about the problem.
On the contrary, the police took immediate action as soon as they were notified about the initial suspected pedophile in November 2010. Afterwards, when neighborhood residents reported more suspects in the summer of 2011, the police again took action and arrested a group of suspects. If anything, the police were overzealous in their pursuit of potential suspects. They arrested several more individuals in January, 2012, simply because of public pressure, even though there was no substantive evidence.
She states that the police say this is the largest pedophile ring in the history of Israel, and that over 100 children have been abused.
In fact, the position of the police is that there is NOT a pedophile ring in Nachlaot at all – and there is not a ringleader. The police DO believe that there were pedophiles molesting children in Nachlaot, but that each one acted on an individual basis, and not as part of an organized group. The concept of a pedophile ring was the figment of the over-active imaginations of worried parents. They also claimed that this imaginary pedophile ring was producing movies of pedophilia for financial profit. No such movies were ever found. No forensic evidence of any sexual molestation was ever found either, even for those suspects who were indicted. The indictments were based entirely on the testimony of the children.
Not all the children who gave testimony were actually abused. Though more than 100 children testified that they were abused, much of that testimony was corrupted by the improper methods the parents used to obtain it. Some mothers went door to door, trying to convince as many parents as possible that their children were molested. The children were also shown pictures of the suspected pedophiles. [...]
In fact, the position of the police is that there is NOT a pedophile ring in Nachlaot at all – and there is not a ringleader. The police DO believe that there were pedophiles molesting children in Nachlaot, but that each one acted on an individual basis, and not as part of an organized group. The concept of a pedophile ring was the figment of the over-active imaginations of worried parents. They also claimed that this imaginary pedophile ring was producing movies of pedophilia for financial profit. No such movies were ever found. No forensic evidence of any sexual molestation was ever found either, even for those suspects who were indicted. The indictments were based entirely on the testimony of the children.
Not all the children who gave testimony were actually abused. Though more than 100 children testified that they were abused, much of that testimony was corrupted by the improper methods the parents used to obtain it. Some mothers went door to door, trying to convince as many parents as possible that their children were molested. The children were also shown pictures of the suspected pedophiles. [...]
Principal convicted of violating mandated reporting law
San Jose Mercury News In a verdict hailed by child-abuse experts, a jury Monday found a principal guilty of the extremely rare charge of failing to report suspected sexual abuse to authorities, despite being told by an 8-year-old girl in vivid and explicit detail about a possible sexual act a teacher performed on her.
The conviction of former O.B. Whaley Elementary School principal Lyn Vijayendran was only the second time in two decades that Santa Clara County prosecutors had brought such a misdemeanor charge -- and the first time they'd won.
Vijayendran, 36, dabbed at her eyes with a tissue while the clerk read the guilty verdict.
She later wept when Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Deborah Ryan took the unusual step of immediately sentencing her. [...]
The conviction of former O.B. Whaley Elementary School principal Lyn Vijayendran was only the second time in two decades that Santa Clara County prosecutors had brought such a misdemeanor charge -- and the first time they'd won.
Vijayendran, 36, dabbed at her eyes with a tissue while the clerk read the guilty verdict.
She later wept when Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Deborah Ryan took the unusual step of immediately sentencing her. [...]
In the end, the strongest evidence against the principal were her own notes from interviewing the child. The girl told the principal that Chandler blindfolded her in a room with no one else there, made her lie down on the classroom floor, told her to open her legs, touched her feet with something that felt like a tongue, inserted something gooey in her mouth and then wiggled her head around until she tasted a salty liquid. Chandler told Vijayendran that he called the girl into the classroom to prepare a lesson on Helen Keller, which he had been using for years.
Vigilantes protect Egyptian woman against abuse
NYTimes The young activists lingered on the streets around Tahrir Square, scrutinizing the crowds of holiday revelers. Suddenly, they charged, pushing people aside and chasing down a young man. As the captive thrashed to get away, the activists pounded his shoulders, flipped him around and spray-painted a message on his back: “I’m a harasser.”
Egypt’s streets have long been a perilous place for women, who are frequently heckled, grabbed, threatened and violated while the police look the other way. Now, during the country’s tumultuous transition from authoritarian rule, more and more groups are emerging to make protecting women — and shaming the do-nothing police — a cause.
The attacks on women did not subside after the uprising. If anything, they became more visible as even the military was implicated in the assaults, stripping female protesters, threatening others with violence and subjecting activists to so-called virginity tests. During holidays, when Cairenes take to the streets to stroll and socialize, the attacks multiply.
But during the recent Id al-Adha holiday, some of the men were surprised to find they could no longer harass with impunity, a change brought about not just out of concern for women’s rights, but out of a frustration that the post-revolutionary government still, like the one before, was doing too little to protect its citizens.
But during the recent Id al-Adha holiday, some of the men were surprised to find they could no longer harass with impunity, a change brought about not just out of concern for women’s rights, but out of a frustration that the post-revolutionary government still, like the one before, was doing too little to protect its citizens.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Divorce is no longer fashionable?
NYTimes
That a woman who has been divorced should feel such awkwardness and
isolation seems more part of a Todd Haynes set piece than a scene from
“families come in all shapes and sizes” New York, circa 2011. But
divorce statistics, which have followed a steady downward slope since
their 1980 peak, reveal another interesting trend: According to a 2010
study by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia,
only 11 percent of college-educated Americans divorce within the first
10 years today, compared with almost 37 percent for the rest of the
population.
For this cross section of American families — in the suburban
playgrounds of Seattle, the breastfeeding-friendly coffee shops of
Berkeley, Calif., and the stroller-trodden streets of the Upper West
Side — divorce, especially for mothers with young children underfoot,
has become relatively scarce since its “Ice Storm” heyday.
For every cohort since 1980, a greater proportion are reaching their
10th and 15th anniversaries, said Stephanie Coontz, author of “Marriage,
a History.”[...]
The experience of being a divorced woman has changed, along with the statistics. “The No. 1 reaction I get from people when I tell them I’m getting divorced is, ‘You’re so brave,’ ” said Stephanie Dolgoff, a 44-year-old mother of two elementary-school daughters who was separated last year. “In the 1970s, when a woman got divorced, she was seen as taking back her life in that Me Decade way. Nowadays, it’s not seen as liberating to divorce. It’s scary.” [...]
“What happened?” asks the writer Claire Dederer in her memoir, “Poser,” which examines life as a new mother in Seattle. In the 1970s, “the feminists, the hippies, the protesters, the cultural elite all said, It’s O.K. to drop out.” In contrast, “We made up our minds, my brother and I and so many of the grown children of the runaway moms, that we would put our families first and ourselves second. We would be good, all the time. We would stay married, no matter what, and drink organic milk.”
Netziv:Why Rikva couldn't communicate with Yitzchok
Netziv(Bereishis
24:64):
And Rivkah lifted her eyes – and she saw Yitzchok while he was still
praying and he was at that moment like an angel of G‑d – extremely awesome.
and she fell off her camel –
Because of her great fear
and awe. However she did not know who she was afraid of. If she had been
sitting with Eliezer the servant on the same camel and she had been sitting
behind him then she would have relaxed when she would have seen the man go and
greet the servant and seen them talking together like all men. Then eventually
when she would have been informed who it was – her fear would already have dissipated.
But since she was sitting together with Eliezer she didn’t wait – but asked
immediately who it was out of great fear. Who is that man - that makes
me agitated and frightened? We see in Bereishis Rabbah that the term “that” implies
someone fearsome and frightening. Therefore when she heard that it was her
husband she took out her veil and covered her face out of her great fear and
embarrassment because she realized she wasn’t fit to be his wife. From that
moment on that fear was permanently planted in her heart and she was not able
to have the relationship with Yitzchok that Sarah had with Avraham and Rachel
had with Yaakov. In particular when the others objected to something their
husbands had done they were not embarrassed to speak firmly with them. Rivkah was different. All of this served as a
necessary preliminary to the events that would follow in Parshas Toldos when
Yitzchok and Rivkah had strongly different views. Nonetheless Rivkah could not
find the courage to stand up to Yitzchok and defend her views – even though it
was true that Esav was a fraud. The same thing happened at the time of giving
the berachos. In fact all of this was the means by which G‑d caused the berachos
to be given to Yaakov in this manner as we will explain later. All was done
with Divine Providence from the beginning - that Rivkah should arrive when
Yitzchok was praying and thus she should see him as an awesome and frightening
spectacle – it all happened according to G‑d’s Will.
Changes in marriage:Tragedy of Seridei Aish
I met Rav Nosson Kaminetsky tonight at a chasuna and asked him for some leads regarding changes in the nature of marriage. He reminded me of the following quote regarding the tragic experiences of the Rav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg that he had written about.
Making of a Gadol by Rav Nosson Kaminetsky page 819:
page 816 - When describing the disaster he entered into, he wrote, "This shiddukh was forced upon me by the Alter of Slabodka and the heads and members of Yeshivath Kneseth Yisrael (emphasis added)./'' An article in ... reveals the background of the misatch between the Chekhanovtzer 'Iluy, R' Weinberg, and the simple, orphaned daughter of the Rav of the small Lithuanian town of Pilvishok. R' Weinberg had been "dabbling with the idea of leaving the yeshiva world for the world of the Haskalah. (R' Finkel) sensed that (R' Weinberg) was at a crossroads and aranged the shiddukh which would bring him the dowry of that town's rabbinic post" and thereby bind him to the Torah world. Weinberg Obituary cites the following from R' Weinberg's letter: "Being young, I submitted to [their guidance], and by that, I ruined the course of my life [...]. During my tenure as the Rav of Pilvishok, the Alter of Slabodka established in Pilvishok a kibbutz of select bahurim in order to enable me forget my pain and my travails through the toil of delivering shai'urim." R' Weinberg's reference to having "ruined... (his) life" goes beyond his personal happiness because, with his talents, he could have developed into the greatest Torah leader of his generation, as discussed in the fourth paragraph of the following excursus.
page 819 - It is possible, too, that the Alter, though expert in understanding what made people, especially the young, tick - in my father's opinion, he understood people better than Freud - was out of step with the change in the relationship between mates which modem trends had wrought in Jewish society as a whole, even the Torah world, by the time R' Weinberg married. We may speculate that the Alter's own domestic arrangement, which my father from his latter-day perspective described as "terrifying '', could not have endured even among bnei Torah 40 years later. Shades of the generational dichotomy in outlooks on this matter may be found in a report of an exchange between the Alter and R' Weinberg which was reported by R' Shmuel-Hayyim Domb in the name of R' Yehiel-Yankev's talmid R' Pinhas Biberfeld: When the Alter tried to convince R' Weinberg not to separate from his wife, he responded, "Where is the drugstore which sells a potion for love?" It may be assumed that R' Weinberg's purpose in repeating this conversation to his talmid was to convey this very idea - that by making the attempt to get him to stay with his wife, the Alter had demonstrated that he did not grasp what degree of compatibility was expected between couples in the new times. Even the extreme forbearance that the Alter knew R' Weinberg was possessed of could not hold a relatively modem marriage together.
page 826 - Based on what R' Hayyim Sarna heard from his father, the Alter held that R' Weinberg would become the gedol hador (greatest[Torah leader] of [his] generation); "And he would have become that, but for his unfortunate marriage, ,'' R' Sarna said °. He explained: "In Lithuania only teamsters (...) got divorced any person of standing would, as my mother would say, 'eat nails (... [suffer])' and stick it out." [Rachel Sarna used another idiom, viz., "any person of standing would 'bite into the quilt [...,,, (probably meaning, clench one's teeth under the covers, in privacy)]'". The interviewee said further that R'Weinberg "had to leave Lithuania because of the divorce"...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Ex Penn State president charged in abuse coverup
Former Penn State President Graham B. Spanier was charged Thursday with hushing up child molestation allegations against Jerry Sandusky, making him the third school official to be accused of crimes in the alleged cover-up. [...]
Spanier has said he had no memory of email traffic concerning the 1998 complaint — by a woman that Sandusky had showered with her son — and only slight recollections about the 2001 complaint — by a team assistant who said he stumbled onto Sandusky sexually abusing a boy inside a campus shower.
Ex-gays protest view that therapy doesn't work
NY Times Mr. Smith is one of thousands of men across the country, often known as “ex-gay,” who believe they have changed their most basic sexual desires through some combination of therapy and prayer — something most scientists say has never been proved possible and is likely an illusion.
Ex-gay men are often closeted, fearing ridicule from gay advocates who accuse them of self-deception and, at the same time, fearing rejection by their church communities as tainted oddities. Here in California, their sense of siege grew more intense in September when Gov. Jerry Brown signed a law banning use of widely discredited sexual “conversion therapies” for minors — an assault on their own validity, some ex-gay men feel.
Signing the measure, Governor Brown repeated the view of the psychiatric establishment and medical groups,
saying, “This bill bans nonscientific ‘therapies’ that have driven
young people to depression and suicide,” adding that the practices “will
now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery.”
But many ex-gays have continued to seek help from such therapists and men’s retreats, saying their own experience is proof enough that the treatment can work.
College rape cases - unique difficulties
Time The recent media swarm around an anguished report of rape at Amherst College, in Massachusetts, is understandable, especially when every day seems to bring another grotesque proclamation from a political figure appearing to minimize, or even justify, rape. But the gravity of sexual assault shouldn’t be an excuse to draw black-and-white conclusions about the problem of rape on college campuses.
Most rapes are hard to prosecute, in part because they rarely have
witnesses, but college rapes on college campuses are an even bigger
challenge because at least 90%
of alleged rapes are between people who know each other (often
boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, or current friends and acquaintances).
College rapes also typically involve less physical evidence (like signs
of physical struggle), and one or both parties are more likely to be intoxicated by alcohol, often
making it hard for the alleged victim and assailant to recall or report
a clear story. College-rape survivors sometimes delay reporting rape,
as the Amherst survivor did, until they have concluded that they were in
fact raped — an ambiguity that is much less common in the general
population. [...]
Moreover, college students are adults with their own legal and moral agency; college officials are not compelled by law to report assaults to the police, as school administrators are for suspected cases of sexual abuse with minors. Campus sexual assaults are thus adjudicated in an often deeply unsatisfying he-said-she-said administrative process that can’t always establish truth, much less actual justice. As former Harvard College dean Harry Lewis noted in Excellence Without a Soul: How a Great University Forgot Education, “In rape cases there is often no middle ground … When one student is accused of raping another, the college cannot make everyone happy.”
Who is spending the night with your daughter?
In the posting about David Kaye the issue has been raised as to why he should be viewed as dangerous (i.e. rodef) when he has not done anything wrong halachically? He is obviously disgusting and not welcome - but should he also be considered dangerous since he never did anything to harm another person and he has a life time of helping others. His major downfall was a sting operation by a TV. station involving what he thought was a 13 year old boy. The whole crime for which he was sent to prison is simply a mental fantasy - and some claim that only according to secular law is it wrong. In order to understand this better let me present the follow case.
You and your wife are leaving in an hour to celebrate your parent's golden anniversary in Florida - so you will be gone for one night.Your younger kids have been distributed to neighbors. However your 13 year old daughter says she is old enough to stay home for one night and says one of her friends is coming over to keep her company.
You do a last minute check on Google maps for traffic conditions and then a quick glance at email to see if there are any important last minute messages. With great irritation you notice that the email is still logged in to your daughter's account - but you also notice an email with a very inappropriate subject line. Pushing aside the concerns for Cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom of reading other's mails - you start reading the letter.
Shock and revulsion hit you as you realize that it is a letter from a 35 year old male who claims to be a rabbi. He has been having an exchange of very explicit sexual communications with your daughter. You notice the exchange has been very intensive and some of the emails have attached nude photographs of him and others which have pictures of her. The last email says he is coming over to spend the night with your daughter.
With your head spinning you think of what you should do in the 30 minutes before you have to leave.
1) Call the rabbi of the shul where you go for daf yomi and who is a world-wide expert on kashrus. 2) confront your daughter and force her to come with you. 3) contact your next door neighbor who has mafia connections who will make sure the guy receives the proper message in a forceful unambiguous manner4) Do nothing since after all your daughter is halachically an adult and it is a consensual relationship. You give yourself a mental note to have a talk with your daughter - when you get back - about how inappropriate it is and that she is only a child and not old enough for these types of relationships. 5) Call the police
More single mothers are having children
Times of Israel With studies showing American Jewish women
marrying at older ages than ever, more and more Jewish women are
confronting the choice of whether to become single moms while it’s still
biologically possible, or to continue to gamble with those chances and
wait for Mr. Right.
Many mothers say the decision is the hardest
part. Can they raise a kid on their own? Will conservative-minded family
or friends ostracize them? Later in life, will their child resent them
for it?
Then there’s the cost. Aside from mothers
shouldering the burden of being the sole provider, fertility treatments
can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000. In Israel, treatments are
free for women to have two children.
Tehilla Blumenthal, an Israeli psychologist
who wrote her doctoral dissertation on single Jewish mothers, says
medical technology that has made it easier for older women to become
pregnant has prompted a growing number of Jewish women to try single
motherhood.
One 41-year-old Orthodox Jewish doctor in the
New York area who recently gave birth to a set of twins through IVF said
she was pleasantly surprised by how accepting her community has been.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Wife does intimate tasks for husband for endearment
A wife is obligated to do certain tasks for her husband for the sake of endearment. These tasks include pouring his cup, washing his face, hands and feet, making his bed, standing before him to attend to his wishes such as getting a drink and anoint him with oil. There is a dispute as to whether these tasks are obligatory or optional. The Yerushalmi Kesubos (5:6) clearly holds they are obligatory for the wife to do them. Rashi (Kesubos 61a) and others hold that they are optional - simply advice that our Sages gave to increase the husbands liking of his wife. Simple question is what happened to these tasks. I have never seen a wife do these tasks for her husband. Even according to Rashi who says they are optional - but they are recommended in order to endear the wife to the husband. Furthermore if we say that according to the Rambam that when our Sages recommended something it becomes a command - then how can there be a dispute here whether these recommended tasks are obligatory?
Of greater importance why are these halachos not relevant. If this is a rabbinic decree as the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch seem to imply - then even if the reason for the decree are not relevant anymore - but the takanos are still active. In short you can't throw out halacha that way or ignore it. "kashrus is because of sanitation so it is not relevant" "Two day of Yom Tov because we didn't have accurate knowledge so it is not relevant today." "Divorce depending solely on husband's wishes is irrelevant to today" "Extra marital sex & incest is only for fear of having a baby whose father's identity is unknown or is a mamzer - not relvant today with birth control" "Mamzer is unfair and therefore not applicable today"
There is really three issues here. 1) how could these obligations simply disappear? 2) They are reflective of and determine the nature of the relationship. If the values they reflect are Torah values then if we don't establish these values in the way described in Shulchan Aruch then how are they established? 3) If they are no longer considered Jewish values - what are the values in marriage and family relations?
======================================
Of greater importance why are these halachos not relevant. If this is a rabbinic decree as the Rambam and Shulchan Aruch seem to imply - then even if the reason for the decree are not relevant anymore - but the takanos are still active. In short you can't throw out halacha that way or ignore it. "kashrus is because of sanitation so it is not relevant" "Two day of Yom Tov because we didn't have accurate knowledge so it is not relevant today." "Divorce depending solely on husband's wishes is irrelevant to today" "Extra marital sex & incest is only for fear of having a baby whose father's identity is unknown or is a mamzer - not relvant today with birth control" "Mamzer is unfair and therefore not applicable today"
There is really three issues here. 1) how could these obligations simply disappear? 2) They are reflective of and determine the nature of the relationship. If the values they reflect are Torah values then if we don't establish these values in the way described in Shulchan Aruch then how are they established? 3) If they are no longer considered Jewish values - what are the values in marriage and family relations?
======================================
Kesubos (61a):
If she has four slaves - she
may lounge in an easy chair. Rav Huna said that even though they said
she can lounge in an easy chair but she fills his cup and makes his bed and
washes his hands and feet. Furthermore Rav Huna said that all the work that a
wife does for her husband she also does it when she is a niddah – except for
filling his cup, making his bed and washing his hands and his feet and making
his bed. Rava said this restriction for a wife who is a nida is only if she
does the work in his presence but he is not there then there is no problem.
Rashi (Kesubos
61a): But she fills his cup and makes his bed – to spread the sheet something which is not
strenuous – since it an act of endearment in order that she be more beloved to
him. Therefore it is not comparable to the making of the bed mentioned in the
Mishna which involves considerable physical effort and she can be forced to do
it. She is not forced to do these works of endearment but the Sages merely
suggested them as good advice as to how Jewish wives should behave. Except
for pouring his cup - when she is a
Nida then all activities which draw them closer and increase endearment are to
be avoided because they can lead to prohibited sexual activity.
Yerushalmi Kesubos (5:6):
Rav Huna said that even if
he had 100 maidservants to do the housework, his wife would still be forced to
do the intimate tasks for him. What are these intimate tasks that she must do?
It is to anoint his body with oil, wash his feet, and pour his cup. Why should
she be obligated to do these when they have so many servants? Is it because it
is inappropriate for a maidservant to do these tasks for him or because she has
to do them? The difference between these two views is if he has male slaves
rather than maid servants then it would remove the concern that maid servants
should do these tasks for him and if she still had to do them that would show
that the reason is because it is a wife’s obligation to do these tasks...It
seems more likely that in fact she must do them solely because it is her
obligation to her husband.
Rambam(Hilchos Ishus 21:3-4): 3) A husband who takes an oath to prohibit his wife not to do any work at all – is required to divorce her and give her the kesuba. That is because idleness causes immorality. Similarly every wife needs to wash her husbands face, hands, and feet as well as pour his cup and make his bed and to stand before him to serve him. Examples of her service are to give him water or a utensil or take things from him etc., However she does not stand and serve his father or his son. 4) These tasks need to be done by the wife herself – even if she has many servants – she alone is required to do them.
Rambam(Hilchos Ishus 21:3-4): 3) A husband who takes an oath to prohibit his wife not to do any work at all – is required to divorce her and give her the kesuba. That is because idleness causes immorality. Similarly every wife needs to wash her husbands face, hands, and feet as well as pour his cup and make his bed and to stand before him to serve him. Examples of her service are to give him water or a utensil or take things from him etc., However she does not stand and serve his father or his son. 4) These tasks need to be done by the wife herself – even if she has many servants – she alone is required to do them.
Shulchan Aruch (E.H.
80:4-5): 4) And similarly every woman is to wash her husband’s face, hands
and feet and pour his cup and to make his bed. (Some say that she is obligated
to make all the beds in the house). And she is to stand before him and serve
him doing tasks such as giving him water or a utensil or taking things from him
etc. However she does not stand and serve his his father or son (However some
say that is only when she is not dependent for support from her husband). 5)
These works need to be done by the wife herself – even if she has many servants
– she alone is required to do them. (There is a dispute regarding making beds
see E.H. 80:8).
Court: Phone harassment akin to indecent act
YNet The Central District Court rendered an unprecedented ruling this week, declaring that a conviction over an indecent act is possible even if the perpetrator did not physically touch, or even see, the victim.
According to a Tuesday report in Yedioth Ahronoth, the ruling was made following an appeal filed by a man who was convicted of an indecent act against two minors, which was perpetrated over the phone.[...]
According to a Tuesday report in Yedioth Ahronoth, the ruling was made following an appeal filed by a man who was convicted of an indecent act against two minors, which was perpetrated over the phone.[...]
"The fact that there was no actual physical contact makes no difference, since verbal violence is just as traumatic as physical violence," the court ruled.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Rapist has visitation rights with child he fathered?
Fox News The case of a Massachusetts man seeking visitation rights to the child he fathered after raping a 14-year-old girl has landed in front of the state’s highest court, MyFoxBoston.com reports.
The girl was 14 when she was impregnated by then-20-year-old Jamie Melendez, who pleaded guilty last year to four counts of statutory rape of a child.
The teen victim is arguing that she should not have to face potentially years of family court battles with the man who violated her, according to My Fox Boston.
The girl was 14 when she was impregnated by then-20-year-old Jamie Melendez, who pleaded guilty last year to four counts of statutory rape of a child.
The teen victim is arguing that she should not have to face potentially years of family court battles with the man who violated her, according to My Fox Boston.
According to the site, the youth's attorney, Wendy Murphy, argued before Supreme Judicial Court Justice Margot Botsford that the lower court judge, Superior Court Judge Thomas McGuire, essentially forced her client into a relationship with her rapist by sentencing Melendez into Probate and Family Court.
Melendez has asked a family court judge for visitation rights.
Melendez has asked a family court judge for visitation rights.
Hirsch: Loving another - only means their welfare
Rav S.R. Hirsch(Vayikra
19:18): You shall love your fellow as yourself – This rule applies to all our social activities
in knowledge, speech, and deeds. Ahava (love) is the most elevated of our
emotions in relationship to G‑d and man. The word “ahava” is basically the word
hav (give) with the addition of the letter aleph which attaches it to a
particular. Thus the meaning of the word ahava (love) is to devote oneself to
another and to bring the other to oneself (See also the comments to Bereishis
37:4). Two individuals who function as one is ahava (love) as opposed to hatred
(See Vayikra 37:17). Note that the Torah doesn’t say “Love your fellow” which
is the normal way of the verse. If it had said that then it would mean loving
the other person and that would mean that we would be obligated to equate the
love of the other with the love of ourselves. Such a task is simply impossible
to accomplish. Rather the love expressed here is an obligation in relations to
all other people. In contrast the love which is directed to the person of the
other requires fulfillment of certain conditions which happens only extremely
rarely. It requires a high degree of compatibility and closeness between the
souls which is found only between a few people for example Dovid and Yonason.
Concerning their love it says, “The soul of Yonason was bound with the soul of Dovid
and he loved Dovid as his own soul. (Shmuel I 18:1). In contrast it says here,
“And you shall love your fellow as yourself.” The term “your fellow” does not
mean the unique person of the other but merely the fact that he is human.
Therefore you should do what you can regarding the conditions of his life that
they be good or improved and that is what our love is directed at. In sum the
verse is commanding us to be concerned about his welfare and what is good for
him in the same way we are concerned that we obtain good things in our lives
[but does not require that we love him personally]. We should be happy with his
wealth and said with his suffering – as if these had happened to us. With
generosity we should contribute to his well-being as if it was our own well-being
and we should protect him from suffering as if the harm was a threat to us.
This requirement can be done in regards to all men – even if you don’t feel any
personal closeness to them. That is because this mitzva is totally detached
from any personal feelings to the other person and is not based on any
personality characteristics he possesses. The whole basis for being concerned
about others is because of the phrase “I am G‑d” that ends this verse. G‑d has
obligated us to relate in a positive fashion to all men because He has
established that we all are “comrades” with each other. Comradeship increases
his welfare and with the welfare of your fellow brings genuine peace. Such an
attitude prevents us from being bothered by the success of others and the
success of one does not come at the destruction of another. A person doesn’t
rejoice in his own success as long as he is aware that his fellow is suffering.
Accepting a pedophile rabbi as a congregant?
[...] in February, David Kaye, a longtime Montgomery County rabbi and registered sex offender, started attending Saturday services.
Adat Shalom’s three clergy had quickly agreed to a request from Kaye to pray at the synagogue, believing his presence to be in keeping with Adat Shalom’s identity as an open, diverse spiritual community where all are welcome.
Through the spring and early summer, Kaye was a part of the congregation. He came for Sabbath and oneg, the post-service lunch. He stood with other mourners to say the communal prayer for the dead, for his parents. He went to the silent retreat.
Through the spring and early summer, Kaye was a part of the congregation. He came for Sabbath and oneg, the post-service lunch. He stood with other mourners to say the communal prayer for the dead, for his parents. He went to the silent retreat.
But over the months, discomfort with Kaye’s presence in some quarters of the 500-family congregation grew. Finally, he was asked to leave.
The matter came to a head last month in the days before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the holiest days of the Jewish calendar, a time when Jews pray desperately for forgiveness, for themselves and others.[....]
The matter came to a head last month in the days before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the holiest days of the Jewish calendar, a time when Jews pray desperately for forgiveness, for themselves and others.[....]
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Divorcing a wife of 30 years if she won't keep Shabbos?
I received the following letters from Michael regarding a very sensitive personal issue i.e., whether to divorce his wife because her refusal to observe Shabbos is preventing him from proper fulfilment and progress in Yiddishkeit. I replied that this is a question for one's rav - not some anonymous collection of people who don't know who he is or his relationship to his wife. Nevertheless he persisted.
After some thought I decided that it might be helpful to discuss what the pros and con's of divorcing and possible advice as to nudging her in the direction of Shabbos observance. It might also help clarify what exactly is the place of marriage in the context of developing shleimus in Avodas HaShem. This is a genuine halachic dilemma and I appreciate his decision to submit this problem to a public forum. I will delete all comments which I think are counterproductive. I will also remove this post if Michael decides it isn't helpful.
Michael I think it would be helpful if you tell us a little more about yourself. Where do you live? Are you a Chasid, Sefardic or Ashkenaz Jew? Do you belong to a community? What objections does your wife have to keeping Shabbos? Please don't reveal information that would reveal your actual identity.
==================================================
=========================Shalom Kevod Harav,
For more than 30 years, I have been married to a Jewish woman who is saintly in all matters except she does not keep Shabbos. For the first 10 years of our marriage, I was not a Shabbos observer but became observant even as she stubbornly refused to do so. As we grow older, I feel increasingly isolated although she is perfectly content to continue as is. I have great compassion for her since she is a fine human being. Still, I feel that I could probably make more progress in my life if she were not my wife.
Should we divorce or continue together?
Behokara ubevrachot,
Michael
Daas TorahOctober 28, 2012 2:36 PMMichael this is a very serious question. do you have a rav that you ask questions? If so what did he tell you.
If you want to explain in a guest post why she doesn't want to be observant and why you think that it is keeping you from making progess - it should be helpful to others since the issue is an important problem in the modern world.
However for you to get a meaningful answer for yourself you really need to speak to a rav who knows you well and your wife well or can get to know your better. Blog comments are not the best place to get a personal answer.
============================
Shalom Kvod Harav,
There is no rav who knows me, no rav who has ever cared to know me, but that's ok. As soon as they get a whiff of my dilemma, they keep their distance. Here's the rub: I do not know a single person whose midot are on the level of my wife's. I am acquainted with many shomer shabbos women who cannot approach my wife in the areas of tznius, optimism, and generosity, both materially and spiritually. When I first started to be shomer shabbos, we had loud arguments. In fact, we probably argued for about 10 years. Finally, we just stopped and silently agreed to disagree. My three children are now in their 20's. All have respect for yiddishkeit. Two do not keep shabbos while the third is a very strict shabbos observer and learns in a yeshiva. All three have outstanding midot. Getting a personal answer in this forum is not vital but I still wanted to share my experience. This is really a great test from Hashem. He wants to see how badly I want to keep Shabbos. Also, there is always the possibility, however remote, that my wife could become shomer Shabbos. And, in the end, if one Jew does not keep Shabbos, it is every other Jew's responsibility to change that behavior and, if we truly want Moshiach, we know his arrival depends on each Jew keeping Shabbos. I should mention that my wife regularly buys chalot on erev Shabbos and, upon prompting, lights Shabbat candles. She also does netilas yadayim. Also, my wife welcomes my saying kiddush for her and participates in havdalah.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Shooting Hoops on Shabbos?
They can be found in virtually every neighborhood in the Five Towns and Far Rockaway.
Walk from Lawrence to Woodmere and you will find many dozens of them. And, even
on Shabbos, they are being utilized. They are portable, movable, basketball hoops.
The question is - what is the Halachic status of this pastime - when done on Shabbos?
Should parents discourage their children from playing ball on Shabbos? Is there a
difference between very young children, children who have reached the age of Chinuch,
and children above the age of Bar Mitzvah?
Certainly, we can all understand the sentiment that children need to be given some space and time to let off steam or energy. Every child is different and "chanoch lanoaral pi darcho." If the underlying aspects of this activity are not forbidden, should wereally be making an issue out of it?
The Talmud Yerushalmi (Taanis 4:5) tells us of a great city named Tur Shimon with its very own Tomchei Shabbos that delivered 300 barrels of material to the poor each Friday. The Talmud, however, goes on to explain that this city was ultimately destroyed. Why was it destroyed? One opinion says that it was because of untoward activity. Another opinion says that it was on account of, yes, ball playing. Gulp.
Ostensibly, it was ball playing on Shabbos as most of the commentators explain. Indeed, Rav Huna in Midrash Aicha Rabasi explicitly states that the ball playing was on Shabbos. This Yerushalmi is cited by the Bais Yoseph (OC 308). Finally, there is a third opinion (See Rokeach Hilchos Shabbos 55) that they played ball on Shabbos and did not learn Torah.
NUMEROUS POSSIBILITIES
What is remarkable is that nowhere in these sources (other than in the words of the Rokeach) is the exact problem with ball-playing on Shabbos fully or even partially explained. What was the exact violation? There is, of course, an entire litany of halachic possibilities as to the exact nature of the problem (which, as the reader may have surmised, will be explored), but perhaps the very silence of the sources is instructive in and of itself.
LOST OPPORTUNITY
Perhaps, the reason Tur Shimon was destroyed was that this remarkable town - with such remarkable chessed going on in its midst should have utilized the Shabbos as a means to further their Dveikus Bashem - their cleaving to Hashem. Excessive ball- playing, or any other mundane activity can sometimes be indicative of a lack of such a relationship with Hashem - and that lost opportunity may very well have been the reason for Hashem not having saved this town from destruction. [For rest of article click Five Towns Jewish Times]
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Rabbeinu Yonah: Make peace with therapist or police?
In a previous post regarding finding source for counseling or therapy to produce shalom bayis in a marriage, the clearest statement seems to be from Rabbeinu Yonah. However after reading it several times I don't think he was talking about what we would call therapy. I think he is describing policeman who can talk as well as they can shoot. In general there seems to be no concern for developing the psychological or emotional relationships within marriage - but simply removing hate and discord in the marriage. The fact that Taanis (22a) talks about clowns making peace - reinforces my point.
Rabbeinu Yonah (Igros Teshuva #8): The Jewish people are obligated to chose specific men whose task it is to make peace between a man and his wife and between a man and his fellow. These men need to be given the power to force and pressure people concerning peace. These designated men must all be cheerful people who know how to placate and to mollify others and thus make peace. They should not be angry or vicious as it say in Mishlei (15:18) , The angry man stirs up a quarrel. It also says in Mishlei (15:1), The soft answer turns away anger. It says in the Talmud [Taanis 22a] concerning certain people who make peace, We are jesters and we make peace. The Sages said about these men that made peace with joy and a good heart that they were promised that they would get Olam HaBah
Why do you need a source for shalom bayis being therapy?
I think it is obvious. The way you respond to strife in marriage reflects what you think marriage is. What you perceive as malfunction in the relationship tells you what marriage is and what this particular marriage is not accomplishing. The apparent Torah description indicates it is simply a type of alliance for the mutual benefit of both parties and society. However modern understanding is that it is the necessary relationship for emotional and psychological needs and therefore a marriage where both sides fulfill their halachic obligations but isn't fulfilling and emotionally satisfying as well as lacking in love - needs to be fixed or ended. Therefore if all the sources dealing with strife in marriage focus on ending conflict - police actions - then there is no concern for love, affection or psychological issues. Consequently one could conclude these issues are not required by the Torah.
Of course one can say that even though they are not the Torah understand are still relevant. That is because the current conceptualization is ais l'asos - that since we are strongly influenced by the non-Jewish culture we need to have love (Hollywood style), fulfillment etc etc - then it would seem to be fine to now be concerned with them. It is simply a pragmatic reality for our times. It doesn't matter on a practical level what happened in the past. We are simply existing in a transient blip in history and we do what we do for the current needs for the members of our society - not what our ancestors 500 years ago did.
However the corollary of viewing this as a transient emergency measure is that we need to be aware of the ideal - when conditions change. Therefore when we get more control and isolate ourselves from the surrounding cultural atmosphere we should be returning to the Torah understanding - the relationship devoid of emotion and psychological fulfillment. Thus the information is for the future - for knowing the ideal so we can return to it.
But there is another approach as to why this question is important. This is the view which is expressed by Rav Tzadok. He holds that the Torah view evolves or progresses for the better. He says we do in fact learn and incorporate ideas from the goyim. Rav Tzadok notes our job is to sanctify these innovations. Therefore the ideal is looking forward and disgarding the past references which are no longer appropriate or allowed. According to this view if a husband insists on following the view of Chazal and Rishonim in this area - he is seriously derelict in his duty. Similarly a wife can't view herself as a baby machine whose job description is described entirely by behavioral requirements and she doesn't need to show love and affection. In other words you can't go back and you fail miserably in Avoda HaShem by trying.
In short this question is a major probe into the essence of what marriage is and what it needs to accomplish.
Rabbeinu Yonah (Igros Teshuva #8): The Jewish people are obligated to chose specific men whose task it is to make peace between a man and his wife and between a man and his fellow. These men need to be given the power to force and pressure people concerning peace. These designated men must all be cheerful people who know how to placate and to mollify others and thus make peace. They should not be angry or vicious as it say in Mishlei (15:18) , The angry man stirs up a quarrel. It also says in Mishlei (15:1), The soft answer turns away anger. It says in the Talmud [Taanis 22a] concerning certain people who make peace, We are jesters and we make peace. The Sages said about these men that made peace with joy and a good heart that they were promised that they would get Olam HaBah
Why do you need a source for shalom bayis being therapy?
I think it is obvious. The way you respond to strife in marriage reflects what you think marriage is. What you perceive as malfunction in the relationship tells you what marriage is and what this particular marriage is not accomplishing. The apparent Torah description indicates it is simply a type of alliance for the mutual benefit of both parties and society. However modern understanding is that it is the necessary relationship for emotional and psychological needs and therefore a marriage where both sides fulfill their halachic obligations but isn't fulfilling and emotionally satisfying as well as lacking in love - needs to be fixed or ended. Therefore if all the sources dealing with strife in marriage focus on ending conflict - police actions - then there is no concern for love, affection or psychological issues. Consequently one could conclude these issues are not required by the Torah.
Of course one can say that even though they are not the Torah understand are still relevant. That is because the current conceptualization is ais l'asos - that since we are strongly influenced by the non-Jewish culture we need to have love (Hollywood style), fulfillment etc etc - then it would seem to be fine to now be concerned with them. It is simply a pragmatic reality for our times. It doesn't matter on a practical level what happened in the past. We are simply existing in a transient blip in history and we do what we do for the current needs for the members of our society - not what our ancestors 500 years ago did.
However the corollary of viewing this as a transient emergency measure is that we need to be aware of the ideal - when conditions change. Therefore when we get more control and isolate ourselves from the surrounding cultural atmosphere we should be returning to the Torah understanding - the relationship devoid of emotion and psychological fulfillment. Thus the information is for the future - for knowing the ideal so we can return to it.
But there is another approach as to why this question is important. This is the view which is expressed by Rav Tzadok. He holds that the Torah view evolves or progresses for the better. He says we do in fact learn and incorporate ideas from the goyim. Rav Tzadok notes our job is to sanctify these innovations. Therefore the ideal is looking forward and disgarding the past references which are no longer appropriate or allowed. According to this view if a husband insists on following the view of Chazal and Rishonim in this area - he is seriously derelict in his duty. Similarly a wife can't view herself as a baby machine whose job description is described entirely by behavioral requirements and she doesn't need to show love and affection. In other words you can't go back and you fail miserably in Avoda HaShem by trying.
In short this question is a major probe into the essence of what marriage is and what it needs to accomplish.
Understanding Tzniut by Rav Y Henkin - review in JPost
JPost Understanding Tzniut: Modern Controversies in the Jewish Community,
written by Yehuda Henkin, former rabbi of the Beit She'an Valley and
author of the Bnei Banim compilation of halachic responsa, provides a
framework for understanding religious communities' attempts to bundle
up, segregate and generally desexualize the public sphere.
The book, a series of articles published previously in modern Orthodox
journals of Jewish law such as Tradition and Hakirah lacks a single cohesive theme. It even includes chapters that have nothing whatsoever to do with tzniut
(roughly translated as modest and chaste behavior and dress), such as
one titled "After Gush Katif: May One Oppose Israel's Government?" and
"A Memorial Day for European Jewry - Did its Rabbis Err?" But the bulk
of the book is a discussion of Jewish legal sources dealing with women's
dress codes and the mingling of the sexes and how they are implemented
by contemporary halachic authorities.
Henkin might get too technical and bogged down by the intricacies of
Jewish law for the taste of the general reader. But it is precisely
here, amid the legalistic nitty-gritty of the centuries-old halachic
discourse among rabbis, where Henkin stages his argument against extreme
trends in Orthodoxy.
His most central argument against the religious community's obsessive
preoccupation with tzniut is habituation. Quoting extensive halachic
sources, Henkin shows that sexual arousal is culturally dependent.
Centuries ago the rabbis understood that in cultures that condoned the
free mingling of the sexes, dress codes and strictures against
socializing with the opposite sex could be loosened.
"Where women walk around in halter tops or less, a short sleeved blouse
is minimally provocative and when pornography is rampant, viewing a
woman's face is not titillating." Henkin never explains why this is so.
Perhaps it is a type of conditioning. If a man is bombarded with
sexuality, he gradually loses his sensitivity. His threshold rises. He
becomes numbed.
Another possibility is that in cultures where speaking with a woman,
shaking her hand, seeing her hair is the norm there is no reason to read
into these encounters a sexual connotation. The range of platonic
relations between men and women widens. Women's dress or behavior is not
given a lascivious interpretation by men. Whatever the reason, rabbis
have cited habituation as a justification for permitting a number of
practices which some halachic sources prohibit. For instance walking
behind a woman, inquiring about a married woman's welfare, mixed seating
at weddings and being exposed to women's hair during prayer.
For Henkin, habituation is a force for potential leniencies in Judaism.
In communities and cultures where men and women mingle freely, certain
strictures can be abandoned. He is careful to point out that it is
forbidden to introduce the mingling of the sexes in communities where it
does not already exist. Rather Halacha can only legitimize an existing
practice.
But Henkin never fully examines the possibility of how habituation could
work in the opposite direction to introduce ever more stringent
behavior - a phenomenon that exists today.
Rabbis: Control after belatedly admitting abuse exists
Times of Israel by Dr. Michael J. Salamon This is about the politics that have led several prominent rabbis to finally admit that they “are late to the table” on the issue of childhood sexual abuse or even any form of interpersonal abuse, despite the fact that the data has been presented to them repeatedly for many years. This is also about the missing apologies to the victims, their advocates and their therapists who struggled with their patients and their patients’ many crises. This is about the vilification heaped on those who tried to create an environment for healing but were told that their efforts were misdirected. It is also about those who are just now coming to the table but still insist in an offhanded fashion of having the final say as to what may or may not be reported and to whom to report.
Let’s start with this last point. The law in all situations is clear – if you reasonably suspect that someone is being abused you are required to report that fact to the proper authorities. You do not have the right to “think about it”, do your own investigating or discuss it with another individual, no matter the brilliance of that other person or their training. Approximately one in four women are abused and one in eight to ten men are.The longer you wait to report the abuse the more time available to the abuser to continue his destruction. For those who doubt this fact just check out the Jerry Sandusky case. Excuses were made, he was not properly reported. We now know for a fact that this former football coach abused at least ten young boys, the ones who came forward to testify against him, but he likely abused many more. The argument that false reporting causes more harm is itself simply false. Sure there have been cases and situations where there is false reporting and of course there are occasions when a false report can result in harm to certain individuals, we may look at one or two of them in a few weeks, but this is significantly less likely when trained professionals who work in this area exclusively are notified immediately. It gives the abuser and his or her supporters less time to cover up their actions. It prevents abusers from coercing their community into protecting them as seems to be the situation in the Weberman case – you can easily look that case up as well. [...]
I also have folders filled with E mails from Rabbis and other clerics who insist that abuse does not occur in their communities, at least not at the same rate as in the general population. But it does. In fact, it may be more likely to occur in sequestered communities as abusers know the reluctance of the community to report situations to people they consider outsiders. There is also the concern of the “forbidden fruit” phenomenon in societies that restrict appropriate gender socialization. In these files are accusations hurled at me for: not telling the truth, bringing attention to situations that should be kept within the community, that I am a fool for believing any of it, and misinterpreting the information. Such are the politics of blame, misdirected blame.
How much has actually changed? Only time will tell. And it may take a lot more time. When you tell me that you are late to the table but you now see that it is a real problem, but you still have the pressing need to continue to flaunt or deliberately not follow the law you are not yet being completely honest.
How much has actually changed? Only time will tell. And it may take a lot more time. When you tell me that you are late to the table but you now see that it is a real problem, but you still have the pressing need to continue to flaunt or deliberately not follow the law you are not yet being completely honest.
The Presidential Debate, Justin Timberlake, & the Book of Isaiah
Some people call it Karma. Jews call it Mida K’Neged Midah. And the average American calls it, “What goes around comes around.” This last expression was recently adapted into a song by Justin Timberlake.
Whatever it is called, however, the over 60 million Americans who were tuned into the presidential debates in Boca Raton, Florida on Monday night and paid careful attention were in for the shock of their lives. What was that shock? Soon, but first a few verses from the bible.
Whatever it is called, however, the over 60 million Americans who were tuned into the presidential debates in Boca Raton, Florida on Monday night and paid careful attention were in for the shock of their lives. What was that shock? Soon, but first a few verses from the bible.
There is a verse in the book of Isaiah (3:11) “..for what his hands have dealt out shall be done to him…”
There is another verse in Proverbs (26:27),”Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.”
Let’s now go back a week, to last Friday in George Mason University. According to the Talmud, President Obama committed a major no-no. [...]
There is another verse in Proverbs (26:27),”Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.”
Let’s now go back a week, to last Friday in George Mason University. According to the Talmud, President Obama committed a major no-no. [...]
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)