Worm in fish Psak

Rav Sternbuch: Shavuos - A day of Elevation

Rav Sternbuch: Living with Bitachon

Bad Charity: Destroying with kindness

Time Magazine

In the history of foreign aid, it looked pretty harmless: a young Florida businessman decided to collect a million shirts and send them to poor people in Africa. Jason Sadler just wanted to help. He thought he'd start with all the leftover T-shirts from his advertising company, I Wear Your Shirt. But judging from the response Sadler got from a group of foreign-aid bloggers, you'd think he wanted to toss squirrels into wood chippers or steal lunchboxes from fourth-graders.

"I have thick skin, I don't mind, but it's just the way they responded — it was just, 'You're an idiot, here's another stupid idea, I hope this fails,'" Sadler, 27, tells TIME. "It really was offensive because all I'm trying to do is trying to make something good happen and motivate people to get off their butts, get off the couch and do something to help."[...]

Kaifeng undergoing unusual Jewish revival

Jewish Tribune

TORONTO – The ancient Jewish community of Kaifeng, China, is experiencing an unusual revival, with many people interested in learning about their heritage. Shi Lei, a descendant of one of the original Jewish families of Kaifeng and a Chinese national tour guide, will speak in Toronto this month to raise awareness of his community.

The event, co-sponsored by Congregation Darchei Noam and the Canadian Jewish Asian Association, will be held on May 13, 7:30 p.m. (doors open at 7), 864 Sheppard Ave. West.

Shi Lei, 32, a graduate of Henan University, studied Jewish history and religion at Bar-Ilan University, near Tel Aviv, followed by studies at Machon Meir Yeshiva in Jerusalem.

The Kaifeng Jewish community hails from Persia and observes Sephardic tradition, he told the Jewish Tribune in an interview. For instance, the Torah case they use looks like a cylinder.  [...] 

Halachic parameters of sexual behavior

I was asked to give a presentation to a group of Jewish therapists regarding the halachos of sexual activity - in two weeks.

The request was motivated by the fact that child or wife abusers will claim that behavior "X" is permitted or that behavior "Y" is prohibited according to the halacha. Obviously a rav needs to be consulted in a particular case - but therapists also have to have an idea of basic issues as well as areas where there are legitimate alternatives.

However this is not limited to child abuse but includes even the general attitude of the halacha towards sex and marriage - needs to be explicated.

I would appreciate suggestions for issues or problems that you might think might need elucidation. I already have a section in my book about abuse which includes some of this material - but it needs some fine tuning.

4 Elior Chen followers guilty of abuse

YNET

Four members of the cult led by Elior Chen were convicted on Wednesday by the Jerusalem District Court of a line of serious offenses for their involvement in the children's abuse affair. One of the children who was abused is still in hospital in a vegetative state. [...]

Betrayal and Revictimization: Preliminary Findings

Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy
© 2009 American Psychological Association 2009, Vol. 1, No. 3, 242–257

by Robyn L. Gobin and Jennifer J. Freyd University of Oregon

The link between childhood sexual abuse and subsequent sexual, emotional, and physical revictimization has been widely reported. The literature is limited, however, in its exploration of the extent to which the level of betrayal inherent in a given childhood traumatic experience affects the likelihood of experiencing similar revictimization in adolescence and adulthood. This study assessed revictimization within a betrayal trauma framework among a sample of 271 college students. As predicted, individuals who reported experiencing high-betrayal trauma at any time point (childhood, adolescence, or adulthood) were more likely to report experiences of trauma high in betrayal during adolescence and adulthood. Relative risk ratios suggest that those who experience childhood trauma high in betrayal are 4.31 times more likely to be victimized in adolescence and 5.44 times more likely to be victimized in adulthood. Logistic regression analyses identified rate of childhood high-betrayal traumas and high levels of traumatic symptoms as significant predictors of high-betrayal trauma victimization in adolescence. Finally, participants’ responses to an exploratory self-report measure examining the relationship among revictimization, awareness for interpersonal betrayals, and response to betrayals in interpersonal contexts were analyzed. Preliminary findings indicate that revictimization risk may be linked to inaccurate identification of specific intimate partner betrayals and the inability to engage in proper self-protection. Suggestions for future research and clinical implications are discussed.

The formation of healthy intimate relationships involves a willingness to trust others, a secure sense of self in relation to others, a good balance of reliance on and independence from the other, and the ability to appropriately regulate emotions in the face of conflict (Cole & Putnam, 1992). Adaptive social functioning in interpersonal relationships is based on a good conceptualization of appropriate and inappropriate behaviors as well as the ability to feel comfortable communicating personal boundaries and, when necessary, avoid or withdraw from relationships that may be emotionally, physically, or sexually harmful (Cole & Putnam, 1992; DePrince, 2005). The collection of harmful long-term consequences associated with childhood sexual abuse may render survivors vulnerable to involvement in unhealthy interpersonal relationships and, thus, vulnerable to later revictimization.

Frumkeit - self-centered religious instinct

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur vol 2):On the narrow path to Truth in serving G‑d there is a major impediment which is called “frumkeit” (religiosity) – a term which has no clear and exact translation. “Frumkeit is the natural urge and instinct to become attached to the Creator. This instinct is also found amongst animals. Dovid said, “The lion cubs roar for their prey and ask G‑d for their food” (Tehilim 104:21). “He gives to the beast his food and to the young ravens who call to Him” (Tehilim 247:9). There is no necessity why these verses should be understood as metaphors [and therefore they will be read according to their literal meaning]. Animals have an instinctive feeling that there is someone who is concerned that they have food and this is the same instinct that works in man – but obviously at a higher level. This natural frumkeit helps us in serving G‑d. Without this natural assistance, serving G‑d would be much more difficult.

However this frumkeit, as in all instinctive urges that occur in man, is inherently egoistic and self-centered. Therefore frumkeit pushes man to do only that which is good for himself. Activities between people and actions which are done without ulterior motivations are not derived from frumkeit. One who bases his service of G-d entirely on frumkeit remains self-centered. Even if a person places many pious restrictions on himself – he will never become a kind person and he will never reach the level of being pure motivated. This is why it is necessary that we base our service of G-d on commonsense (da’as). (Study Sotah 22b lists 7 types of activities which it labels as foolish piety. Each one of them is a manifestation of frumkeit without commonsense). Commonsense has to direct our service of G-d. From the moment we desert commonsense and act only according to frumkeit, our Divine service becomes corrupted. This is true even for a person on the level of a Torah scholar. [...]

Afghanistan's last Jew vows to stay put

CNN

Kabul, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Zablon Simintov is always guaranteed the best seat in his local synagogue here, but the privilege comes with a downside: he's the last Jew in Afghanistan.

The country's 800-year-old Jewish community -- an estimated 40,000 strong at its peak -- is now a party of one. [...]

British Anti-Semitism: Review of "Trials of the Diaspora"

NYTimes

Anthony Julius has written a strong, somber book on an appalling subject: the long squalor of Jew-hatred in a supposedly enlightened, humane, liberal society. My first, personal, reflection is to give thanks that my own father, who migrated from Odessa, Russia, to London, had the sense, after sojourning there, to continue on to New York City.

With a training both literary and legal, Julius is well prepared for the immensity of his task. He is a truth-teller, and authentic enough to stand against the English literary and academic establishment, which essentially opposes the right of the state of Israel to exist, while indulging in the humbuggery that its anti-Zionism is not anti-Semitism. Endless boycotts of Israel are urged by this establishment, and might yet have produced a counter­boycott of British universities by many American academics, whether Jewish or not. However, under British law the projected boycotts may be illegal. The fierce relevance of Julius’s book is provoked by this currently prevalent anti-Semitism. [...]

Gay father,surrogate mother & Jewish identity

Haaretz

A homosexual father of twins who were born to a surrogate mother in India is being denied permission to enter the country with his infant sons. The move stems from a family court's refusal to issue a standard legal order that would pave the way for the children to obtain Israeli citizenship.

For the past two months Dan Goldberg and his twin sons, Itai and Liron, have been staying at a Mumbai hotel, awaiting permission from the Jerusalem Family Court to proceed with a paternity test that would determine whether he is indeed their biological father. [...]

Lag BOmer at kever of Rema - 70 years ago

BHol

תיעוד היסטורי: כך חגגו בקרקוב לפני 70 שנה

סדרת תמונות נדירות מתעדת את עליית יהודי פולין לפני השואה, אל קברו של הרמ"א בקראקא, ביום ההילולא - ל"ג בעומר • התמונות, המדהימות בחדותן, מנציחות את התפילות, האווירה, והקבצנים

Rav Sternbuch: Jewish Education

Arabs who saved Jews during Holocaust

Middle East Channel




PBS

Did any Arabs save Jews during the Holocaust? That's the question author Robert Satloff had in mind when he set out to discover the lost, true stories of survival, courage and betrayal in Arab lands during World War II. The history of the Holocaust in Europe is well-documented, but the history of what happened to the Jewish people of North Africa has been mostly forgotten, even in the very towns and cities where it occurred. The truth is remarkable: not only did Jews in Arab lands suffer many of same elements of persecution as Jews in Europe -- arrests, deportations, confiscations and forced labor -- but there were also hopeful stories of "righteous" Arabs reaching out to protect them. [...]

Teacher vs curricula: Determining what works

Newsweek

Since holding teachers responsible for student performance is now all the rage, from the White House to the political right, let us do a simple thought experiment. Imagine an amateur baseball league in which team owners dictate which bats players use. The owners try to choose the best, but the research on bats is so poor, they have to rely on anecdotes—"Barry Bonds hit 73 home runs with maple!"—and on manufacturers' claims. As a result, some teams wind up using bats that are too heavy, too fragile, or no better than a broomstick. Does it make sense to cut players who were forced to use ineffective equipment? [...]

Grandmother goes to jail for slapping foul mouthed granddaughter

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Israel: Jews often disagree with leaders

NYTIMES

Criticizing Israel has long been the equivalent of touching a third rail in many Jewish families and friendships, relegating disagreements to a conversational demilitarized zone where only the innocent and foolhardy go.

“You cannot really engage in that conversation,” said Phillip Moore, a teacher in this Detroit suburb who has embraced strong opinions on many topics in his life — on politics, education, even religion — but avoids the subject of Israel at gatherings of his Jewish relatives.[...]

Incidence of child abuse skyrocketed during recession

Children's Hosptial of Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh, PA - May 1, 2010 -

The number of cases of abusive head trauma in children has increased dramatically since the beginning of the recession in December 2007, according to a multi-center study led by Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC.

Results of the study are being presented by lead researcher Rachel Berger, MD, MPH, on Saturday, May 1, at the Pediatric Academic Societies (PAS) annual meeting in Vancouver, British Columbia. Dr. Berger is a child abuse specialist and researcher at Children's Hospital's Child Advocacy Center.[...]

IDF reports serious abuse of soldiers by officers

Haaretz

The annual report of the IDF Ombudsman, which was served to the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee on Monday, has revealed serious cases of mistreatment of soldiers inside the Israel Defense Forces.

The report included cases of abuse and humiliation of IDF soldiers by their commanders and inadequate medical treatment in IDF medical clinics.

The Ombudsman report revealed that 6,100 complaints were lodged by soldiers against their commanders in 2009, a decrease of 400 complaints from 2008. Of the 6,100 complaints lodged, 60 percent of the complaints were found to have merit by the IDF Ombudsman. [...]

Interview with HaRav Ruderman, zt"l

Neil Harris wrote to anther list

I recently found a great website, closetotorah.com that is hosting a recording of R Ruderman zt'l, a talmid of Slabodka, being asked questions about the Alter.
The link is:
http://www.closetotorah.com/archives/627
 
I found it to be quite revealing and blogged about it, as well, here.

 

Abuse - Israeli PTSD expert on Time's list

YNET

Prof. Edna Foa, clinical psychologist who developed treatment methodology for post-traumatic stress disorder following second intifada, named one of world's 100 most influential people. 'There were people who hadn't functioned 30 years and were able to function within two months,' she tells Ynet [...]

Historic Conference about Abuse in Summer Camps

VINS

Brooklyn, NY - At an unprecedented meeting in Flatbush last night, directors of thirty six summer camps met to discuss the issue of child molestation in summer camps, bringing to the forefront an issue which, unfortunately, does occur in Jewish summer camps, but more often than not is quietly ignored. This marks, perhaps, the first time the issue of sexual abuse in summer camps has been openly addressed on such a large scale. The meeting was spearheaded by Beth Kaplan, director of Sacred Lives, a small and relatively unknown that deals with child molestation in the frum community. Dozens of camps catering to the yeshivish and Chassidic communities signed on for this initiative.[...]

Sometimes G-d answers with a "no"

s
Hat tip to Rav Y.G. Bechhoffer. Who found a response to the following post. The original post can be read in full following the link. The response is by an anonymous author who is obviously well versed not only in hashkofa but in reality

Original post.

The Great Miracle of the Volcano Shutdown

A universal crisis, millions of people stranded, billions of dollars lost, and one volcanic eruption in Iceland causes chaos across the European continent. Within all this tumult, one Jew merits a smile from the Creator of the World, as if G-d was whispering to him - My son, the whole world was not created except for you כל העולם לא נברא אלא בשבילי.

The story begins with a young Yeshiva student, an 18 year old Yerushalmi,who was mortally ill with fulminate hepatic failure. With little hope of receiving a liver transplant in Israel, Rav Firer sought to send the boy on an emergency flight to Brussels, the world center of liver transplants. The only problem however, is that Brussels under no circumstances transplants non-EU patients, in order to save the scanty supply of livers for Europeans. Nevertheless, it was decided to send him to Brussels despite this knowledge....
==========================
My response: [unknown author]

I have a real problem with these stories in general, and I guess this case really underscores why. Just imagine the other stories that are not being circulated on the internet. Young mother/child/groom/ whoever on waiting list, desperate for transplant, the right liver finally available and s/he finally on top of the list - but could not fly to Belgium due to the volcano and, r"l, passed away. I don't know what happened to whom regarding this liver, but neither do those circulating this story know whose heart could be breaking as they read it. Hashem's ways are indeed mysterious and above our logical comprehension systems. But let's not pretend that the hashgacha always works out for the apparent good of everyone affected.

I happen to think we in our generation, and especially from an educational standpoint our young people, are more in need of examples of tziduk hadin and moving forward in life despite disappointment, loss and suffering, than we are in need of further gushes of chicken soup for our already entitlement-ridden souls. Because this genre has become so ubiquitous, and we are encouraging people to identify (as if they could!) `hashgacha pratis' in their lives, I fear we are weakening rather than strengthening the kind of emuna needed to make it through the real lives most of us lead, the ones in which people die, illness hurts, and hopes are dashed, at least sometimes. I find these kinds of stories dangerous, not only because they promote magical thinking and reinforce theological beliefs of dubious basis in authoritative Jewish sources, but because they reinforce some sort of fantasy that we can ignore the gemara about kesheim shemevarchin al hatov etc. When young people raised on this intellectual diet of gruel actually encounter challenges in life, will they have the keilim, and the examples, to integrate them into their mindset and avodas Hashem? Will they conclude, consciously or unconsciously, that they are unworthy because miracles didn't happen for them? Will they feel cheated out of the hashgacha protis they have been guaranteed and end up angry at their religion r"l?

I don't know, I just feel sometimes we in the frum community live in a haze of wishful thinking we have allowed and sometimes even encouraged. I don't mean to be a downer but to say, let's recognize and fix our problems rather than distracting ourselves from them. For every heartwarming story circulated I'd like to see at least one story that calls us to action, and I mean action to take responsibility for our dysfunctionalities. If only the energy put into the campaign to save Shalom Rubashkin from being overly punished for his crimes could be equally put into a campaign to rid ourselves of corruption and fraud and teach the importance of transparency, integrity, and accountability.  I am seriously considering contacting the guy who started the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation and encouraging him to start a new prong of the movement aimed towards Emes and Yashrus.

Sefer HaNer

Seforim Blog

Not every important work written by a Rishon is blessed with popularity.[1] While many texts were available throughout the generations and utilized to their utmost; others were relegated to obscurity, being published as recently as this century, or even this year. Nearly a month doesn't pass without a "new" Rishon being made available to the public, and often enough in a critical edition. While each work must be evaluated on its own merit, as a whole, every commentary, every volume of Halachic rulings adds to our knowledge and Torah study.[2] [...]

Abuse - Mayo Clinic: Profile of Pedophilia

Mayo Clinic

A Profile of Pedophilia:
Definition, Characteristics of Offenders, Recidivism,
Treatment Outcomes, and Forensic Issues

Pedophilia has become a topic of increased interest, awareness, and concern for both the medical community and the public at large. Increased media exposure, new sexual offender disclosure laws, Web sites that list the names and addresses of convicted sexual offenders, politicians taking a “get tough” stance on sexual offenders, and increased investigations of sexual acts with children have increased public awareness about pedophilia. Because of this increased awareness, it is important for physicians to understand pedophilia, its rate of occurrence, and the characteristics of pedophiles and sexually abused children. In this article, we address research that defines the various types and categories of pedophilia, review available federal data on child molestation and pornography, and briefly discuss the theories on what makes an individual develop a sexual orientation toward children. This article also examines how researchers determine if someone is a pedophile, potential treatments for pedophiles and  sexually abused children, the risk of additional sexual offenses, the effect of mandatory reporting laws on both physicians and

Rav Sternbuch: Natural disasters

Discrimination in dismissal of Druze officer?

YNET

Druze officers on Wednesday protested a military appeals court's decision not to demote former Gaza Division Commander Brigadier-General Moshe Tamir, who allowed his 14-year-old son to drive an army ATV and attempted to cover up the incident after the boy collided with a civilian vehicle.

 
The officers demanded that Brigadier-General Imad Fares, who retired from the Israel Defense Forces following a similar incident, would also be allowed to return to the army's top brass. They said the court's decision to accept Tamir's appeal was a case of harsh discrimination and racism.[...]

Bedatz bans public digital ad displays

Abuse - failure to screen workers

Haaretz

A 70-year-old man with past convictions for murder and rape was arrested on Thursday for allegedly molesting a suicidal 14-year-old girl at the Meir Hospital in Kfar Saba.

Yoseph Nino, a Herzliya resident, had been hired by the hospital through a manpower agency to supervise the teen during nighttime hours to prevent her from hurting herself. The teen had been hospitalized in the hospital's children's wing after attempting to kill herself [...]

Haaretz spy scandal - Caroline Glick

JPost

Over the past two weeks Israel has been rocked by a major espionage scandal in which the Haaretz newspaper plays a central role. To understand the significance of the scandal, it is worthwhile to preface a discussion of it with a look at a smaller story Haaretz developed this week.

On Sunday, Haaretz’s Amira Hass reported that in January, the IDF published a new military order that paves the way for the mass expulsion of illegal aliens from Judea and Samaria. The story sported the disturbing headline, “IDF order will enable mass deportation from West Bank.”

In a follow-up on Monday, Hass reported that 10 self-described human rights organizations (all funded by the New Israel Fund) sent a joint letter to Defense Minister Ehud Barak asking him to rescind the order. She noted, too, that, “the international media also has taken great interest in the story.”[...]

Goodists - those who view themselves as Moral Beings

JPost

Psychologists Nina Mazar and Chen-Bo Zhong of Toronto University recently reported a startling discovery in the journal Psychological Science: those who purchased a “morally virtuous” product, like organic baby food, were less likely to be charitable and more likely to lie and steal than those who purchased conventional products.

The Guardian summarized the findings: “[T]hose . . . who bought green products appeared less willing to share with others a set amount of money than those who bought conventional products. When the green consumers were given the chance to boost their money by cheating on a computer game and then given the opportunity to lie about it – in other words, steal – they did, while the conventional consumers did not.”  Those findings confirmed previous observations of patterns of “moral balancing,” whereby people who have proven their credentials as moral people in one area allow themselves to stray in other areas. Apparently, relatively minor acts that confer some sort of “moral halo” have the effect of licensing subsequent asocial and unethical behavior.[...]

Ramat Beit Shemesh mikve - Chareidim v. Modern Orthodox

JPost

Friction between two religious communities in Ramat Beit Shemesh has surfaced once again, this time over who should take responsibility for the mikve (ritual bath) in a neighborhood that is equally inhabited by both haredi and  national religious communities, The Jerusalem Post has learned.

The tension is focusing on a mikve that opened roughly two years ago on Nahal Dolev and was divided in two last summer by the city’s Religious Council so each community could follow its own interpretation of Jewish law.[...]

Concern about abuse - only from 1970's

Dr. Christine A. Courtois and Dr. Steven N. Gold (Psychological Trauma 2009 1:1 page 3).For several decades now, the knowledge base about psychological trauma has been continually expanding in the professional literature (Friedman, Keane, & Resick, 2007). In the earliest days of the practice of psychotherapy in Europe in the late 19th century, trauma was recognized as playing an important role in the genesis and exacerbation of many psychological difficulties; however, for various reasons, appreciation of the relevance of the experience of trauma to many psychological problems waned through much of the 20th century (Friedman, Resick, & Keane, 2007; Herman, 1992b; van der Kolk, 2007; Monson, Friedman, & LaBash, 2007). It was only in the 1970s that the focused attention on psychological trauma resumed. This trend was catalyzed largely by the difficulties exhibited by Vietnam War veterans and emerging awareness, via the feminist movement, of the alarming prevalence of rape, domestic violence, and all forms of childhood abuse. Renewed awareness of trauma in the 1970s culminated in the inclusion of the diagnosis of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the dissociative disorders (DDs) in the in 1980 (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 1980). Since that time empirical and clinical exploration of psychological trauma has sustained and flourished. The extensive literature that has accumulated since the 1970s has simultaneously been accompanied by burgeoning awareness on a societal level of the broad reach, financial costs, and lasting adverse impact of traumatic events. In the final two decades of the 20th century, increasing sensitivity arose about the widespread and emotionally damaging nature of domestic violence, childhood abuse, and sexual assault. More recently, acts of terrorism such as the attacks in the United States on September 11, 2001, and much more recently those in Mumbai, India, the return of thousands of veterans of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and widespread natural disasters such as the tsunami in Southeast Asia in 2004 and Hurricane Katrina have been increasingly framed through the lens of trauma by both professionals and the news media.

Abuse lawsuit: Boy Scouts ordered to pay $18.5 M

Fox News

An Oregon jury's decision to award a man $18.5 million in punitive damages in his case against the Boy Scouts of America will likely be the first of many financial hits the Scouts will take as it prepares to defend itself against a series of sex abuse lawsuits.

The jury on Friday ordered the Scouts to make the payment to Kerry Lewis, the victim of sex abuse by a former assistant Scoutmaster in Portland in the early 1980s.

The case was the first of six filed against the Boy Scouts in the same court in Oregon, with at least one other separate case pending. If mediation fails to settle the other cases, they also could go to trial.[...]

World's first full face transplant

Telegraph

Dr Joan Pere Barret said the patient, who is in his 30s, received a new beard from a donor as part of his new face.

In an operation at Barcelona’s Vall d’Hebron University Hospital lasting 24 hours, the patient now has a new nose, lips, tear ducts, cheekbones and jaw.[...]

R' Shafran: Community's learned elders are wisest arbiters of what is Jewish

Five Towns Jewish Times

As a Jewish teenager, I absorbed a vital truth—arguably the essence of Orthodoxy: The community’s learned elders are the wisest arbiters of what is and is not Jewishly proper.

Over the many years since, I have come to see that truth vindicated time and again. Had I not perceived it in my youth, I sometimes reflect, I might have become enamored of the Conservative movement, which declared fealty to halachah while expressing sensitivity to American realities. I could have chosen to see it as the most promising standard-bearer for Jewish observance in America. And I would have been devastated to see its claim to halachic integrity crash and burn. But I trusted the elders. And, it turned out, they saw more than I did, and predicted precisely what came to be.

What brings the thought to mind are reactions to a recent pronouncement of our contemporary gedolim and z’keinim. When a congregational rabbi tried to create a new institution in Orthodoxy—women serving as rabbis—the Council of Torah Sages felt compelled to declare that any congregation with a woman in a rabbinical role “cannot be considered Orthodox.”

Ben Hirsch: Cracks in the wall of silence about abuse

Jewish Star

Last week, the Flatbush Shomrim issued an alert – a warning – to sex offenders that they would be arrested and prosecuted. The alert also instructed people to report sex crimes directly to the police. Judging from the positive blog posts and the flood of appreciative calls to the Shomrim hotline (to which I was in some cases privy) this message is a welcome one in our community. Indeed, the spate of recent arrests and convictions of those who have preyed sexually on young people seem to be a clear indication that, despite long-held communal norms and pressures, people are gaining the courage to do the right thing and report abusers to the authorities. The endorsement of this behavior by a trusted communal organization whose mission often puts it on the front lines dealing with this issue will, I believe, only reinforce this positive trend. However, in the midst of these positive developments, I am still left to wonder: where are the voices of our rabbinic leadership? While the Flatbush Shomrim alert seems to be endorsed by unnamed local rabbi(s), to date, not a single charedi rabbi has publicly expressed support for this position. Why? [...]

Rav Sternbuch: Prohibition of Lashon Harah

An Eternal Illness The Dangers of Lashon Hara  

Written by Rabbi Daniel Yaakov Travis based on a derasha from

HaGaon Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita Ravad of Yerushalayim

Kosher Speech

The Torah discusses tzara 'as, the punishment for lashon hara, at great length. Tzara 'as would first appear on a person's home, and if he does not repent for his lashon hara at that point, it would spread to his clothes. If he continued in his ways even still, then eventually, his body would be afflicted by it. 

Parshas Tazria follows Parshas Shemini, which deals with the kashrus of animals. Outwardly, there seems to be no connection between these two topics; but is there, in fact, a deeper meaning behind this juxtaposition? 

Rav Yisrael Salanter explained that the Torah does this to teach us that it if one wants to protect the sanctity of his neshamah, it is not sufficient to guard oneself from non­kosher food. One's speech has an even greater affect on his neshamah than what one eats. The outer signs of tzara'as come to show the great internal damage caused through lashon hara. 

When Rav Sternbuch first came into yeshiva in London, Rav Shneider encapsulated Rav Yisrael Salanter's words with the following rule: "You are all extremely careful about the kashrus of the food that goes into your mouth. Try to be equally wary of the kashrus of the words that come out of your mouth." 

While eating non-kosher meat is a serious transgression, bringing non-kosher ideas into one's mind can be even more dangerous. At times, the problems with certain written materials are extremely subtle, and the casual reader might not even realize that his neshamah is being infected. Especially with the advent of internet, when anyone can post any idea that he wants for public view, one must take extreme care with regard to what a person reads that it is clean of lashon hara, apikorsis, and other Torah prohibitions.

Punishment For Lashon Hara

The malach who would speak to the Beis Yosef on a regular basis once told him this: 

"Do not worry about those people who have spoken against you. They haven't harmed you; just the opposite, they have helped you. When someone speaks lashon hara about his friend, his mitzvos get transferred to whomever he spoke about. If people realized this, they would have great joy when they hear that someone spoke about them. They would even give gold or silver coins to the person who spoke about them." (Magid Mesherim, Parshas Vayakel) 

The Chovos Halevavos, Shaar Hachaniyah (Chapter 7) also cites this idea. He adds that when a person who speaks lashon hara gets to shamayim, he will find that he is accredited with many transgressions that he does not remember doing. When he asks about them, he will be told that they were taken from the individuals that he spoke lashon hara about, and added to his record.

The Chovos Halevavos cites a story of a chasid whom someone spoke lashon hara about. When the chasid found this out, he sent the speaker a lavish gift consisting of the choicest fruit of that land with the following note: "You were kind enough to give me your mitzvos and take away my aveiros. I am sending you a small token of my appreciation. " 

How can we understand why a person loses all of his Torah and mitzvos by speaking lashon hara? When a person speaks badly about someone else, this creates prosecuting angels against his friend. Exchanging the mitzvos of the speaker for the aveiros of the one he spoke about helps rectify the spiritual damage that has been caused. 

When the subject of the lashon hara gets all of the mitzvos of the person who spoke about him, his reputation in shamayim is exponentially improved. Similarly, by unloading his transgressions onto the person who spoke about him, he is now considered a tzadik. These two actions counter the damage caused by the prosecuting angels, for with all of his mitzvos and lack of aveiros, they can no longer speak badly about him. 

Based on this, the Chasam Sofer (in a derasha for Shavuos) explains what Chazal mean by their statement that when someone becomes a rav, all of his transgressions are forgiven. The reason for this is that after a person gets a position as a rav, many people will speak lashon hara about him. His aveiros will be placed onto all of the people who spoke about him. 

The Chafetz Chaim hints to this concept in the sefer Shemiras Halashon in Shaar Hazechira (Chapter 7). Since this is such a crucial deterrent to prevent someone from speaking lashon hara, why didn't the Chafetz Chaim make a more open reference to the fact that one loses all of his mitzvos ifhe speaks lashon hara? 

Rav Moshe Shneider once asked the Chofetz Chaim why he did not write what the Rambam says, that someone who speaks lashon hara does not have a place in the World to Come. The Chofetz Chaim replied that he could not give people such a blow. Rav Shneider understood that if the Chofetz Chaim would write that speaking lashon hara causes one to lose his portion in the next world, people would give up hope and refrain from putting effort into learning Torah and performing mitzvos. 

This rule is especially applicable to the internet. If someone posts lashon hara about someone else, this could be seen by countless individuals, and the extent of the damage is enormous. Especially when the lashon hara is about rabbanim, one could lose his entire olam habah because of his transgression.

Asking Forgiveness 

The Chafetz Chaim writes, in the sefer that became his namesake, that if a person speaks lashon hara about his friend, he must go and tell him about it in order to get  mechila from him (4: 12). This is a very difficult halacha to follow. Hearing that someone spoke lashon hara about you is extremely distressing. 

Rav Yisrael Salanter would not write an approbation for the sefer Chafetz Chaim because of this psak. Rav Yisrael ruled that instead, a person should ask a general forgiveness from the person he spoke about, and this is sufficient. Rav Sternbuch once received a letter from Rav Dessler praising this ruling of Rav Yisrael Salanter's. 

Although there is a dispute whether one must ask forgiveness for specific lashon hara that was spoken, everyone agrees that one must ask for some form of mechila from the subject of the negative speech. The Gemara in Yuma 87a  relates the story of a butcher who slandered Rav and didn't come to ask him forgiveness. Erev Yom Kippur, Rav went to speak to his butcher in order to give him the opportunity to ask mechila. 

The butcher did not take the opportunity and did not ask Rav forgiveness for his slander. After this incident, the butcher was cutting bones, and hurt himself, and this injury eventually caused his death. 

Seemingly, Rav could have just declared privately that he forgave the butcher, and did not have to travel and speak to him. From here we see that one must get a personal forgiveness from the subject of the lashon hara. Since it is nearly impossible to keep track of everyone that we speak about, we should make great efforts to avoid speaking lashon hara. 

While a person once had to leave his house if he wanted to speak lashon hara en masse, today with the internet and email.vthings have changed drastically. In a few minutes, a person could spread the worst lashon hara to the four comers of the globe. A person should take great care to think about what he writes, and if possible, have a rav look it over before distributing it to a large number of people. 

(Rabbi Travis is Rosh Kollel of Kollel Toras Chaim in Yerushalayim and is the author of Shaylos U'Teshuvos Toras Chaim and "Praying With Joy - A Daily Tefilla Companion" a practical daily guide to improving one's prayers, available from F eldheim Publishers. Rav Sternbuch's weekly shiurim on the parasha are now available as a sefer entitled "A Voice in the Darkness". For more information about his work contact dytravis@actcom.com.)

Questions regarding child abuse

Hi Rav Eidensohn,

I have been following your blog for some time and specifically the topics of molestation. Additionally, I have followed stories of molestation on other Jewish sites, as well as in mainstream media with the current stories about priests.

There are a few questions I have and it is a difficult ones but I want your experienced opinion based on the information you know.

It seems from what I have read that nobody really has a clue what to do with molesters and how to solve the molestation problem. Additionally, there is no real proof that a molester can be cured. From what I have read, it seems that the only way to keep children safe is to lock these people up for life, or castrate them.

These people have a sick desire. Just like normal heterosexuals desire the opposite sex, these people desire children. Can one become homosexual with therapy if they are heterosexual? Can a homosexual become a heterosexual with therapy? Extremely unlikely, if not flat out no correct?

However it is an urge that normal people can control. Normal people don't go raping the opposite sex.

However these predators, desire children and put their desire before the welfare of the child.

Do you think a molester can be healed with therapy to the point that you can say he is no longer a threat to kids?

How many years of therapy?

Should they be in seclusion during therapy? (Prison or a mental home...)

How can we be confident that these people are healed to truly ever allow them near a child?

These are difficult questions, however it troubles me that most molesters get a few years prison and once they are out they get right back to business. Prison doesn't change. Them or deter them. It just makes them more careful and sneaky.

Personally, I think they need to be kept from chiildren permanently which means a life sentence, or castrated. This may sound extreme but is it really? How can we justify 10 years in prison when all reseaech points to the molester being likely to repeat his offenses once he is out?

I just don't see how the system is properly dealing with this problem. These guys get a slap on the wrist for destroying multiple childrens lives.

What about monetary punishment? If large cash rewards were awarded to victims (I mean over $1,000,000) would that do anything as a deterrent?

Please let me know what you think about all of this.

Best regards,
Josh

Dr. Marc Shapiro - Grossman execution & Tropper

Dr. Marc Shapiro has a fascinating post - which includes a discussion of the Grossman execution and Tropper at the end

SeforimBlog

[...] During the discussions about the Grossman execution, I looked at some of the haredi websites (until the comments made me sick). What I found interesting was the incredible level of ignorance of most of the writers, all of whom had been in yeshiva and many of whom had studied there for years. They were able to declare that a murderer can’t be executed unless he was observed by two kosher witnesses and was given warning, which they thought settled matters. Had these people known a bit of responsa literature, there would have understood how things worked in the real world, and especially what was done in the days of the rishonim. Do these people think that if a guy stood up in shul and opened fire with a machine gun, killing 20 people, that a Jewish court couldn’t execute him because he was never given a warning? Let’s continue with R. Liebes:[...]

Netanyahu reject U.S. demand for Jerusalem freeze

Haaretz

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has rejected the Obama administration's demands to freeze construction in East Jerusalem, his bureau confirmed on Thursday.

The Prime Minister's Bureau was responding to a Wall Street Journal report that Netanyahu's government had delivered over the weekend its most substantive response yet to that U.S. request.

Obama reportedly made the demand for an East Jerusalem construction freeze, along with other requests, in a tense White House meeting with Netanyahu on March 23. His administration had seen been awaiting his reply, while Netanyahu had deliberated with his top ministers on possible confidence-building measures that would allow a revival of peace talks with the Palestinians.[...]

New Square appoint Vaad for abuse

Jewish Star

At noon on a Sunday afternoon, Isaac Brewer sits at his desk in the back of Fax Unlimited, the electronics store he operates on Route 59 in Spring Valley. The flat-screen monitor on his desk displays several camera views that let him watch the unattended front of the store. Every so often, a customer walks in and Brewer dishes with them over what printer to buy, and every so often, the phone rings and Brewer switches fluently between Yiddish and English, telling one customer that he’ll be happy to drop off a toner at so-and-so’s mother-in-law. And in between conversations, Brewer speaks about sexual abuse.

“The problem has been going on since the world has been created,” explained Brewer, black waistcoat and gray sweater draped over the back of his chair. “But the Rebbe felt a need to get serious about it and to help victims and stop predators… The Rebbe has given us a carte blanche.”

Brewer is part of a six-member committee established 18 months ago by the Skverer Rebbe, Rabbi Dovid Twersky, to combat sexual abuse inside the New Square chasidic community. The committee, known simply as the Vaad, in many ways represents a giant leap forward for the community in dealing with sexual abuse. Advocates for victims of sexual abuse are not as charitable, however, and view the Vaad as a continuation of the legacy of cover-ups that have tainted the larger Orthodox community’s past dealings regarding sexual abuse. [...]

In some adoptions, love doesn't conquer all

NYTimes

At times, Kelly Lytle Baehr wondered how they would all get through it.  Two years ago, she and her husband adopted three boys from Ukraine — two of them 8, the other 16 — and brought them back to their home in Omaha. She knew assimilation into a family life would not be easy; all had come from troubled backgrounds, including one who had spent the first five years of his life in a prison orphanage back in Ukraine, and had a mother who drank while she was pregnant.

She was often tested by the strains of raising these three new sons. The youngest of them, Ian (born Igor) had rummaged in garbage dumps in Ukraine for toys, with hub cabs and discarded car parts his only possessions. At the Baehrs’s home in Nebraska he soon became a wild, uncontrollable kleptomaniac, she said. The other 8-year-old, Erik, struggled to attach to her — kicking, screaming, biting and yelling, “I hate you.” Only the oldest son, Viktor, seemed to welcome his new life quickly, blending easily into the family and eventually making the honor roll at his high school.

When Ms. Lytle Baehr, who is going through a divorce and has custody of her children, heard the news break two weeks ago about Torry Ann Hansen shipping her 7-year-old adopted son back to Russia on a plane, unaccompanied, with just a note to the authorities, she felt something approaching sympathy. “When it boils down to it, I’m really similar to the woman in Tennessee,” Ms. Lytle Baehr said in a telephone interview this week. “We’ve all been there.”[...]

Reporting abuse does not require a judicial procedure

[I need to clarify the original post - which has been understood by some to mean that one should simply call the police in all cases. That is not what I said or meant. My purpose of writing this post is to point out that the process of deciding what to do is not a judicial process - but one of defense against harm. The rules of evidence are much more lenient in an extra judiciary process, there is no inherent need for a beis din or even a rav. However unless there is concern for immediate danger - then one should consult with experienced experts - which includes psychologists, social workers, as well as rabbis who are experienced and are well aware of the surrounding issues. Furthermore regarding a case of a perpetrator  who abused  long ago and has not  repeated his crime and there is no danger to others - than a judicial procedure is required. There needs to be adequate considerations of proportionality - one does not  need to call the police if a neighbor allowed your son to watch a t.v. show or his rebbe gave him a hug. Nor should one use a shotgun against someone who might have molested your child. The halacha in the case of rodef requires a focus on doing that which is necessary to stop the harm. If you feel that protection can only be accomplished by the police - then call the police.  You do not need to accept the promises that the person did teshuva or assurances that the perpetrator will now have adequate rabbinical supervision. Also in a case of government mandated reporting which is enforced - it is different than where there is no mandated reporting or it is not enforced.  In sum - I am saying that focus on protection from danger is the prime concern and the halacha clearly allows a person to do that which is necessary to protect children from being molested. You do not need to get caught up in a complicated halachic piplul - but need to act to protect the children. However it is not a blanket allowance to use any and all means to accomplish it and a person should act responsibly and consult those who are  experienced and wiser in these matters - which is not necessarily a rabbi. In fact an inexperienced rabbi or one not knowledgeable in these matters might prescribe a course of action which is naive and harmful to both the perpetrator and the victim. On the other hand, calling the police or social services might also not protect the child and might cause harm. Protecting the children must be the prime focus. ]


One of the major problems in dealing with child abuse is the insistence that it is a very complex and difficult halachic issue that must be judged by a beis din or at least an experienced and competent rabbi. Going to the secular system is considered mesira or as a minimum a violation of the prohibition of going to a secular court.  It is also claimed that we need two adult male Jewish witnesses as well a warning and careful investigation and cross examination. Because often these can not be done - it is considered beyond out capability to do anything -if we want to remain loyal to the Torah.

In fact - according to the halacha the above is not so. Reporting child abuse to the police is not in fact a judicial issue. It is a question of self-defense, protecting others or stopping others from sin. These do not require judicial procedures. This is the view of Rav Yehuda Silman that was published in the current issue of Yeschurun. While a beis din or a rav can be consulted - there seems to be no inherent requirement for such. In other words it is no different than the question of whether a judge needs to be consulted as to whether you can deal with an assailant who is beating you or your children or your neighbor. Similarly a judge is not needed to give permission to react to someone who is involved in sin and it is in our power to stop him. Clear circumstantial evidence is enough to act defensively. Reporting a suspected perpetrator to the authorities is not a judgment or punishment - it is done to defend our children from possible harm. Of course it is best if those experienced in these matters - whether rabbis or social workers or psychiatrists - be consulted. But not if the delay would result in harm.  Thus the case of prevention of harm is different than punishment for sin - which in fact requires a beis din. This distinction between prevention of harm and punishment of past sin is very important and in fact is often blurred and confused.

Rabbi Yehuda Silman wrote:

Furthermore in the original article [Yeschurun 15] it was concluded that that it is obvious that there is no need to have witnesses that meet the standards required by the Torah but even less than that is sufficient and I cited a number of rishonim. The reason is reporting the teacher to the secular authorities is not punishment requiring a beis din but is an action mandated by secular law (in the Diaspora) or in order to separate the abuser from committing sin. In addition according to the reason that even in the case of a possible rodef it is permitted to inform the authorities – it is obvious that is permitted without proper witnesses since all that is required is that there be the possibility that he is an abuser.

Abuse:- Jeff Anderson- chief pursuer of the Vatican

Washington Post

The Vatican's chief American pursuer once flunked out of law school and sold shoes for a living. A father at 19, an alcoholic until nearly 50, he got his start in the law by representing indigent clients. He is now a fitness fanatic who lights his ornate office here with Tiffany reproductions and drives a Lexus.

He gets his balance from Zen Buddhism, his persistence from the reporters who felled Richard Nixon and his inspiration from the sexually abused clients who trust him to make the Roman Catholic Church pay for the sins of its fathers.

Jeff Anderson, who draws headlines and epithets and rarely sleeps more than four hours a night, is using his manic energy to challenge one of the most powerful and secretive institutions in the world, a 2,000-year-old church with hundreds of millions of devoted followers.[...]

Rav S' Kaminetsky & Rav Pam: Child abuse conference 2000

Rabbi Reisman -introduces topic
David Mandel of Ohel - moderator

Blogging & Fair Use Doctrine

Webpronews

With all of the struggles and controversies surrounding the news industry these days, there is a lot of confusion out there about what falls under fair use and what doesn't. The more savvy bloggers who have been in the game for a while usually have a better grasp on the concept, but there are still plenty of others who aren't so well versed. After all, anyone can start a blog, and not everyone comes from a news or legal background.

Video: Baruch Lebovitz - convicted child abuser

 

Dr. Shapiro's theory for abuse coverups

<sup>Dr. Marc Shapiro wrote: in the last footnote


8</sup> There is another theory as to why the sectarian hasidic world in particular has had so many cases of covering up and defending child sex abusers. It is that they simply do not regard these people as so terrible. The evidence for this appears obvious, in that in case of after case we see that they continue to allow sex abusers to teach and refuse to turn them over to the authorities and warn the parent body. Had they caught the rebbe eating at McDonald’s, you can be sure he would have been fired, but not so when it comes to fooling around with kids. The question is why do they have this outlook, and how come they don’t regard child sex abusers as so terrible? Here is a possible answer (which a wise person suggested). Look at where these societies get their information about human nature, the information that they regard as authentic and true. It does not come from modern psychology, but from Torah sources and folk beliefs. If you look only at traditional rabbinic literature, you won’t conclude that child sex abuse is as terrible as modern society views it. Yes, it is a sin and the person who commits it must repent as he must do with all sins, but there is nothing in the traditional literature that speaks to the great trauma suffered by the victim. How do we know about this trauma? Only from modern psychology and the testimony of the victims. Yet this type of evidence does not have much significance in the insular hasidic world (unless it is your own child who has been abused). Certainly modern psychology, which is often attacked by figures in that community, is not given much credence, especially not when they are confronted with an issur of mesirah. This theory makes a lot of sense to me and I am curious to hear what others have to say.