Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Halachic parameters of sexual behavior

I was asked to give a presentation to a group of Jewish therapists regarding the halachos of sexual activity - in two weeks.

The request was motivated by the fact that child or wife abusers will claim that behavior "X" is permitted or that behavior "Y" is prohibited according to the halacha. Obviously a rav needs to be consulted in a particular case - but therapists also have to have an idea of basic issues as well as areas where there are legitimate alternatives.

However this is not limited to child abuse but includes even the general attitude of the halacha towards sex and marriage - needs to be explicated.

I would appreciate suggestions for issues or problems that you might think might need elucidation. I already have a section in my book about abuse which includes some of this material - but it needs some fine tuning.



    More drey kops who insist they are Jewish.

    Which "yeshiva" would let these people in without a proper gerus?

  2. There is a website that discussess a lot of these issues. Based on the comments and questions, it appears that a lot of people are concerned with the "strictures" and "limitations" halacha imposes on sexual expression even within the confines of marriage. Also see this post

  3. Wow!! Kol Hakavod!!

  4. Some of these are based on rulings in the Talmud. The problem is, by criticising certain views expressed in the Talmud, one can become an apikores.
    On the other hand, there are opposing views also present. In terms of child abuse, the views in Sanhedrin are obviously disturbing. However, the views in Kiddushin, on the other hand, seem more rational in that they condemn all forms of child abuse, regardless of age.

  5. there is much demand for positions besides missionary to be allowed and for oral sex on him/her, wich sre generally only allowed by most people rabbonim on a case by case basis. . . most people are ashamed to ask for obvious reasons....

  6. sanctity in intimacyMay 16, 2010 at 7:50 AM

    I believe there is a general issue,ESPECIALLY amongst women, with openness in matters of sexuality since we are instructed all our lives to be modest and then told "there's no modesty in the bedroom"....even where some women, perhaps might be open to things, they might feel closed and uncomfortable because Gd is watching and they feel prust when they think about engaging in some acts.
    (And there's even a more basic issue of uncomfortability many women have with the idea of getting to know their their own bodies and sexual feelings)
    Even ppl who go to chosson or kallah teachers dont always get instructed abt these matters, since, frankly, many women wouldnt DARE ask such "immodest" questions!
    its a cascade of problems...and its inevitable that you'll then have the issue of "hafach es hashulchan" and quesitons of being taken advantage of (tho, of course, im not denying nor referring to the cases of true abuse in this area).
    there needs to be an understanding of meeting both the husband's and wife's need in intimacy and not crossing comfort zones. But some of those comfort zones could be more safely and comfortably moved if there was encouragement for an openness about the topic in the right forum.


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