Rivky Stein and Yoel Weiss: Who are the members of the Beis din of Marine Park and Mill Basin?

 An appeal to the mystery dayanim of "Beit Din Tzedek of Marine Park and Mill Basin"

Guest post by Recipients and Publicity

To Whom It May Concern in the matter of Rivky Stein and Yoel Weiss:

No one seems to be sure who you are and where you are located because of confusion about your address and the inability to contact you in any way. No one seems to know if you even exist! 

A recent post addressed serious questions to the Chabad rabbis located in Mill Basin and Georgetown, Brooklyn because as a result of discussions and research by some serious posters on this choshuve blog, it seems that you may be located at the Chabad house of Georgetown since your address matches theirs in so many ways. Since some say you do not exist, so maybe the Chabad rabbis will help to lead us to you once they can clarify what is going and if they are being falsely involved or not.

In the interim while looking at the documents you supposedly issued in the matter of the supposed get proceeding by Rivky Stein also known as Rivky Weiss, on  

"Psak Beit Din" and on "Siruv Against Yoel from Beit Din"

the name of your bais din and its address appears as "1278 East 77nd (sic) Street, Brooklyn, NY 11234, Tel (347) 875-7874, [Email:] BDmillbasin@ gmail. com"

So what follows are questions that so many of us have:

Is that address correct or not and whose address is that exactly and why has it become so difficult to trace both you and the address of your bais din?

You sign yourselves in English on "Notice of Excommunication" as:

Rabbi Chaim Taub

Rabbi David Binyamin Abales

Rabbi Yehoshua Goodman

this is a very serious thing, to "excommunicate" another Jew so you need to provide your bona fides since this has now become a public battle by the person you ruled for as she has gone to professional PR agents and her case is now in the papers and online, did you also authorize that? If so when and why and on what bais, and can you provide the documents and Halachic basis for your actions besides the blanket decree of "excommunication"?

It has been impossible to find out who you are and where you are located (besides the problematic confusing address). What kind of rabbis are you? Meaning where did you get your chinuch and shimush? Chasidish? Litvish? Sefardish? Modern Orthodox? Israeli?

Do you have any affiliations with the Chabad rabbis in Mill Basin and Georgetown? Did you ever use the premises of the Chabad house of Georgetown or of any Chabad house there? If so, were you and all the rabbis involved approved by the main Chabad bais din in Crown Heights? If not then who do you turn to when you have your own shaylos? Have you ever convened to conduct gittin and other dinei Torah previously, if so can you cite some general examples and numbers and if not, why did you convene now? Were you paid serious fees for your services.

Mostly importantly why did you not wait for a rov or posek or bais din representing the husband to come forth with his own claims?

You all claim to be rabbis qualified to commence with get proceedings and on "Siruv Against Yoel from Beit Din" you each sign yourselves as "harav" and on top of that Rabbi David Binyamin Abales signs himself at the center as "av bais din" but since no one has ever heard of you, except Rivky Stein and her publicists (by the way, how did she find you and who referred her to you?) it is a great mystery how you arrived at your current positions.

Do you all have the required semicha (especially yadin yadin) to be known as "harav" and act as dayanim and as an "av bais din"? Who are your own rabbinic references and mentors?

All this should not be a secret now that this case is out in the open and your letters and signatures are out there for the whole world to see for themselves.

If in any way you are genuine and wish to and will clarify all the above questions and if any way it is shown that it was case of being "choshed biksherim" I offer my complete unqualified apology to you and beg your forgiveness. But please understand that because this matter has now become an international case by virtue of your client's recourse to promoting her plight very publicly, which may well be serious, this is not to question that, but you need to understand that you therefore have a great responsibility to the klal for preventing this from becoming and even bigger Chillul Hashem R'L than it has already become.

It is in your hands and the world awaits to hear from you and to know who you are and to trust what you have done. Otherwise the cloud of  doubt will just get darker and much worse for all concerned.

Sincerely,
RaP

Rav Shlomo Zalman Kaufman's Contract of Arbitration: Is it Arbitration or Beroorin? or Neither?

Contract of Arbitration

We the undersigned hereby irrevocably and unconditionally submit to Arbitration all the controversies including claims and counterclaims between the undersigned parties including but not limited to the following:

Dissolution of their marriage Divorce , Get, custody, visitation, division of assets alimony, monetary issues ,property settlement, debts, maintenance, education of children, child support any and all other issues The Husband agrees to give a Get and the wife agrees to accept a Get if so requested by the Rabbinical Court

1. The arbitration shall be heard and determined by the rabbinical court of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Kaufman

2. It is agreed that 50 % of the arbitration fees and or /expenses shall be paid by each party to the controversy.

3. The Arbitration shall make their award based on Din Torah, compromise, settlement what is just and proper or any other way they wish to reach a decision .The Arbitration shall take place pursuant to any procedure the members of the Arbitration panel may decide.

4.No transcripts of the proceedings need be made unless the arbitrator …parties to request to hires a stenographer or minute taker whose cost be paid by the parties

5. Hearings may be held on Sundays and other legal holidays. the award or decision/s shall be in writing and shall be signed by the majority of the arbitrating panel and need not be acknowledged or notarized to be confirmed or enforced.

6. In the event that one arbitrator resigns or refuses to continue or is incapacitated and cannot continue refuses to for any reason the remaining two Arbitrators may elect to continue the proceedings and have the same powers and authority.

7.The parties herby hold harmless and release the members of the arbitration of liability for any act or omission whatsoever in connection with this arbitration or otherwise or the imposition upon the members of the arbitration panel of any or expense for any reason the parties herby release the members of the arbitration panel from any such obligation or with respect to any third person and shall severally defend and indemnify the Rabbinical court of Rabbi Kaufman against any claim made against Rabbi Kaufman's Rabbinical court by any person arising thereof and to fund or pay any such fee cost or expense in a timely fashion.

8. Each party has the right to be represented by an attorney and /or rabbinical counsel (to’en) in the arbitration at any time, but any part may elect to proceed without an attorney or to’en and argue for themselves before the arbitration Panel and by doing so they waive any claims whatsoever base on that election.

9. The members of the Arbitration panel shall make all reasonable efforts to accommodate the parties and counsel with regard to scheduling but their decision regarding the times, dates and location shall be final.

10. The parties waive the right to any specific form of notice of the time and place of the arbitration proceedings and notice for any purpose shall be given in the manner most reasonable and practical under the circumstances’.

11. The Arbitrators exclusive jurisdiction over the Arbitration shall and does continue until after their final decision or award is issued and all issues have been resolved and complied with to the understanding and complete satisfaction of the Arbitration Panel.

12. The Arbitration panel need not disclose to the parties or to anyone else the halachic legal, factual or other basis for their award and the parties herby waive any right to seek, demand or compel disclosure thereof as they otherwise may have.

13. The Parties shall abide by and perform any interim or final award rendered by the members of the members of the arbitration which shall be enforceable in any court of competent jurisdiction ,except and not withstanding anything herein to the contrary as provided in the agreement which language will prevail.

14. The parties agreed that the arbitrators shall have the right to hear testimony and evidence without the presence of the party if the party doesn’t attend a scheduled hearing.

15. The Parties waive personal service of process in connection with confirmation or enforcement proceedings .Service shall be sufficient if mailed via regular or via certified mail return receipt requested to the parties at their last known address.

16. The Arbitrators shall not be required to take oath or administer on oath for any witness or party at the hearing.

17. The members of the panel may not be appealed or otherwise submitted for review other than for purposes of enforcement in any tribunal court of other forum, whether religious or civil ,whatsoever. The foregoing constitutes a complete waiver of any legal or halachic right of the parties may otherwise have to proceed in any other such forum regarding adjudication of the disputes.

18 .The parties have agreed that the decisions of the panel are final, binding and not appealable, provided, If in violation of any agreement Party initiates a proceeding in a Bais din tribunal or court whatsoever whether religious or civil purporting to open ,invalidate ,modify or nullify the award in any ground whatsoever including but not limited to due to acclaim of the discovery of new evidence or a procedural or other flaw error or irregularity the party shall pay all legal costs as well as full arbitrators for any expenses incurred by any other party as well as the legal expenses of the arbitrators plus their full Arbitrator fees and expenses regardless the outcome of such proceedings The parties agree that Arbitrators shall have sole jurisdiction on all matters to the extent permitted .

19. Each arbitrator and counsel for Rabbi Kaufman shall have the same common law immunity as a judge has from suits for damages or equitable relief and from compulsory process to testify or produce evidence based on or concerning any action, statement or communication in or concerning his service pursuant to this Arbitration Contract as well as privileges and immunities provided under state law.

20. If notwithstanding the foregoing any party brings an action against any Arbitrator or Rabbi Kaufman's counselor any Rabbinic adviser or naming the same as a party is in violation of that immunity regardless of the theory of recovery under which action may be brought such party shall be liable for and shall indemnify such arbitrator Rabbi Kaufman’s adviser for any liabilities costs and expenses including Attorneys and lost professional time that may be incurred in resisting that effort or as a result of that action.

21.No party may depose call as a witness seek testimony or subpoena any arbitrator or rabbinical adviser or their respective counsel or Rabbi Kaufman’s counsel in any legal or Judaic administrative proceeding of any kind including but not limited to the arbitration for any reason whatsoever nor may any party seek to obtain through any method whatsoever including without limitation to produce any…..or documents related to the arbitration or rabbinical advisers services If any party attempts to compel such testimony or production such party shall be liable for and shall indemnify persons for any liabilities costs and expenses including attorneys fees and lost professional time The forgoing provisions are intended and agreed to be for the sole benefit the respective arbitrators and rabbinical advisers and their respective counsel for employment in their discretion and no party is entitled to rely on them for any purpose or is intended to be a third party beneficiary of them.

22 .no party shall by signing the contract of arbitration have waived or restricted impaired or amended any right or privilege set forth in any other contract or the agreement to which such party including the arbitration panel and counsel for Rabbi Kaufman be otherwise entitled under halacha or at law ……except with regard with adjudication of the disputes besides the arbitration named heroin and their respective counsel and as specified Rabbi Kaufman’s counsel as well as the rabbinic advisers and their respective counsel there are no intended beneficiary thereof nor may any others besides the arbitrators named heroin Rabbi Kaufman’s counsel or the rabbinical advisers and their respective counsel seek to endorse the terms of this contract of arbitration for their behalf and no other person not a signatory to this Contract of arbitration is intended to be nor shall any person be deemed to be a third party beneficiary hereto or hereof

23. The Arbitrators shall have full and final jurisdiction with respect to any questions regarding the interpretation of this contract of arbitration and their rulings .Notwithstanding the forgoing if any terms or provisions of this contract of arbitration should be held by a court of competent jurisdiction to contrary ….under the law of any particular jurisdiction such ruling shall not affect the validity thereof in any other jurisdiction nor shall such determination affect or impair the other terms or provisions thereof .

24. The parties submit themselves to the personal jurisdiction of the courts of the state of New York or New Jersey or any other competent court of jurisdiction for any action or proceeding to confirm or enforce a DECREE of the Arbitrators.

25.The parties bind themselves from this very moment and onwards to all the terms and provisions of the paragraphs set forth above and full complete content of this contract of arbitration with total awareness under the doctrines’ of Bais din chasuv Ofen Hamoiel lo kiasmacta Udloi k tufsa Dishtara Hakol shorer vikayom .

26. No condition or provisions of the Contract of Arbitration Shall be Invalid under the doctrine of Tnai Kaful or any other Halachic ground all of which are hereby waived.

27. Contract shall be valid and binding if signed in counterparts. 28. The parties acknowledge that they understand and comprehend all terminology used heroin or have been given a full opportunity to seek independent explanation thereof as well as to obtain review of any provision or term hereof by independent counsel rabbinic guide or other qualified person

We understand and agree to all the above.

Dated ______ Signature_________ Signature____________

Dated_______ Signature __________Signature______________

Rivky Stein and Yoel Weiss Divorce: What is the beis din she claims she used?

 Guest post from RaP:

Documents from Beis Din of Marine Park and Mill Basin

Questions for the rabbis of the Chabad houses in and around Georgetown-Mill Basin, Brooklyn concerning the use of a Chabad house and address to convene a bais din.

Much of the discussion on this blog in the last day has rightly begun to focus on something that needs to be clarified. To debate the names of streets in Brooklyn and New York while not being there can and is usually confusing (even people in Manhattan get confused about street names in Brooklyn and Queens and the other way around) because streets often start with the prefixes of "West" (abbreviated as "W") or "East" (abbreviated as "E") or sometimes without those and it can and does get confusing. But that is to miss the point since now we know that the reputed bais din and supposed rabbis that Rivky Stein-Weiss is relying upon can be traced back to an address at the (taken from their own website at http://www.chabadofgeorgetown.com/): "Chabad of Georgetown • 1278 East 72 Street • Brooklyn, NY 11234 • 718-444-3770" and one needs to move on from that point to the next points.

Now the next questions to ask, is does a bais din ever convene at "Chabad of Georgetown • 1278 East 72 Street • Brooklyn, NY 11234" or has a bais din ever convened there for the purposes of arranging a get?

If so, it would be very strange because presumably a Chabad house located in BROOKLYN would not do such a thing since it can and should easily rely on the main Chabad bais din known as the "Bais Din of Crown Heights" that is a recognized bais din. See http://www.chkosher.com/BeisDinHours.htm,

390A Kingston Avenue, 718-604-8000 and headed by Rabbis Y. Osdoba, Schwei, Segal (718 360-7110), A. Osdoba (718-771-8737, also call if urgent) and if urgent call Rabbi Y. Heller (718-756-4632).

So did the ad hoc bais din that supposedly worked out of the "Chabad of Georgetown • 1278 East 72 Street • Brooklyn, NY 11234" have the authority from its presumed higher authorities in Crown Heights to do so? And if so who authorized it? This should be easy to establish with a few phone calls.

It seems that the Chabad house in question can also be found at http://www.millbasinjewishcommunity.org/shul-directory/ and is listed in the Shull Directory of the "Orthodox Jewish Community of Mill Basin, Georgetown, Flatlands" that lists at least thirteen Orthodox shulls in that area, including "Chabad of Georgetown" and two other local Chabad houses "Chabad House of Mill Basin" at 2111 E65th Street, Brooklyn, NY headed by Rabbi Yehuda Friedman, (718) 209-0707, (718) 241-8899 Email: chabadmillbasin@gmail.com ; and "Chabad of Mill Basin & Georgetown" at 1228 E. 69th Street, Brooklyn, NY headed by  Rabbi Ahrele Sheinberger, 718-241-8899; 718-473-5937; 347-729-6558, and of course the one in question here: "Chabad of Georgetown" at 1278 E 72nd Street, Brooklyn, NY headed by Rabbi Avrohom Holtzberg, 718 444-3770, Email chabadofgeorgetown@gmail.com
www.chabadofgeorgetown.com

Now while the above Chabad of Georgetown does not seem to list its rabbi, another search of Chabad.org at http://www.chabad.org/centers/default_cdo/aid/118629/jewish/Chabad-of-Georgetown.htm confirms " Chabad of Georgetown, 1278 East 72 Street, Brooklyn, NY 11234 USA, 718-444-3770, Fax: 718-251-8552" with "Rabbi Avrohom Holtzberg, Director" so now at least we have a name to contact, that is,  Rabbi Avrohom Holtzberg, Director of Chabad of Georgetown who, together with his two other local Chabad rabbis, should be asked the following questions:

1) Are you aware that the address of your Chabad house at  1278 East 72 Street, Brooklyn, NY 11234 is now at the center of a serious divorce and get dispute that has the potential to become a great Chillul Hashem?

2) Have you or anyone you know ever convened a bais din on the premises of the Chabad House at 1278 East 72 Street, Brooklyn, NY 11234 on behalf of Rivky Stein aka Rivky Weiss? If so who was on that bais din?

3) Do you all have the type of required semicha (yadin, yadin) to qualify undertaking such a din Torah, or any Din Torah for that matter, as a duly constituted bais din, issuing "pesakim" "seruvim" and other things normally undertaken and adjudicated by established batei din?

4) Did you ever seek or were you ever authorized by the main Chabad bais din known as the Bais Din of Crown Heights to undertake a process of gittin or any other dinei Torah?

5) Did you ever receive any renumeration for your services and if so who paid you and how much for the use of your supposed bais din, the use of your premises and its address? If you don't know about any of this why have you not protested or can you please provide an official letter stating that you and your Chabad house/s have nothing to do with this entire divorce saga initiated by Rivky Stein-Weiss against her husband Yoel Weiss?

6) Since Chabad of Georgetown shares the name of "Georgetown" with another one nearby (namely, Chabad of Mill Basin & Georgetown) so presumably you are all colleagues and that Rabbis Avrohom Holtzberg (of Chabad of Georgetown) and Ahrele Sheinberger (Chabad of Mill Basin & Georgetown) cooperate so is there any chance that any of you, with Rabbi Yehuda Friedman (of Chabad House of Mill Basin) formed the disputed bais din in question? If none of you know anything about this matter then please accept a sincere and unqualified apology but please understand that this question only arises because the address of Chabad of Georgetown is at the center of a serious get dispute that has the potential of erupting into something much bigger.

7) Do Rabbis Y. Osdoba, Schwei, Segal, A. Osdoba, Y. Heller of the established main Chabad bais din in Crown Heights known as the Bais Din of Crown Heights know that  a bais din was reported to have convened at the Chabad house of Georgetown and do they agree or disagree that the Chabad of Georgetown location and address were and are being used at the center of major dispute? Do they approve that any rabbis in that area such as Rabbis Avrohom Holtzberg, Yehuda Friedman, Ahrele Sheinberger should lend any of their Chabad houses or their addresses to be used on get documents and letters containing arguments that show them to be housed in Chabad houses?

8) Since as a result of the Chabad house of Georgetown in Brooklyn having its address and location dragged into a serious Halachic discussion it behooves them to clarify why such immature and UN-Halachic letters etc are coming out from their location and how it could be that any rabbi serious and knowledgeable about the Halachic process involved in gittin (Jewish divorces), piskei halacha (Halachic rulings), and other such documents appear to be not up to standard and not befitting the name of any serious bais din thereby degrading the accepted Halachic practices and processes used and required in such complicated situations?

Since this is a matter of great urgency, anyone with access or familiarity with any, or with some, or with all of the above-mentioned Chabad rabbis contact them and get something in writing in response to the above questions ASAP and notify the blog owner.

To repeat, if anything in this post is found to be untrue and unjustified a unqualified apology is hereby given that none of these rabbis or the parties are known to me personally and that the only reason for this post is to clearly establish if, or not, the above rabbis and Chabad house/s are in way familiar with this dispute that on documents filed by Rivky Stein-Weiss has pointed to the address of the Chabad house of Georgetown located at 1278 East 72 Street, Brooklyn, NY 11234.

Thank you!
RaP

Tzfas Beis Din's responses to criticisms regarding Get given by man in vegetative state

   תגובת הרב לביא להשגה

מכתב דייני צפת לרב פרבשטיין 

Friedman in 1980s New York sex abuse case sues

Washington Post  A man who was portrayed in an Oscar-nominated documentary as he fought to overturn his guilty plea in a notorious 1980s sex abuse case sued a Long Island prosecutor Thursday, alleging she defamed him to bolster her conclusion that the plea should stand.

Jesse Friedman, a subject of the film “Capturing the Friedmans,” accused Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice of concocting “outrageous” allegations about him, including a widely published statement that he created pornography involving child rape, incest and bestiality while a prisoner.

Friedman’s attorney Ronald Kuby said Rice timed her statements to “have the greatest negative impact” on the public’s perception of Friedman — last summer, as she neared the conclusion of a three-year review of the case.

Rice included the pornography allegation in her June 2013 report on the case, according to the lawsuit, and in press releases that became fodder for tabloid newspaper headlines including: “Jailbird Perv a Smut Writer.”

Paul Leonard, a spokesman for Rice’s office, issued a statement Thursday saying: “We view this lawsuit as meritless and will defend zealously against its allegations.”[...]

Latest scientific theory indicates that the universe shouldn't exist

C S Monitor     The universe shouldn't exist — at least according to a new theory.

Modeling of conditions soon after the Big Bang suggests the universe should have collapsed just microseconds after its explosive birth, the new study suggests.

"During the early universe, we expected cosmic inflation — this is a rapid expansion of the universe right after the Big Bang," said study co-author Robert Hogan, a doctoral candidate in physics at King's College in London. "This expansion causes lots of stuff to shake around, and if we shake it too much, we could go into this new energy space, which could cause the universe to collapse."

Physicists draw that conclusion from a model that accounts for the properties of the newly discovered Higgs boson particle, which is thought to explain how other particles get their mass; faint traces of gravitational waves formed at the universe's origin also inform the conclusion.  

Of course, there must be something missing from these calculations.

"We are here talking about it," Hogan told Live Science. "That means we have to extend our theories to explain why this didn't happen."[...]

Sholom Shuchat admits guilt in Mendel Epstein divorce torture case

APP    A Brooklyn man characterized by the FBI as an enforcer has pleaded guilty to taking part in a plot that prosecutors say involved a Lakewood rabbi and his son to use violence to kidnap an Orthodox Jewish man and force him to give his wife a religious divorce.

Sholom Shuchat pleaded guilty in federal court in Newark on Monday to traveling in interstate commerce to commit an act of violence. The crime carries a maximum 20-year prison sentence.

Fate of 3 Kidnapped Israelis Raises Tensions on Many Fronts

NY Times    Three Israeli teenagers kidnapped from the West Bank have been missing for more than 10 days now, their names — Naftali, Gilad, Eyal — becoming staples of synagogue prayers and cafe chatter across this tiny country. Four Palestinians, one of them 15, have been killed by Israeli troops, their photos hoisted at mass funerals as martyrs in the liberation struggle.

The abduction and its aftermath, in which Israel has unleashed its most intense West Bank crackdown in nearly a decade, have shaken the Palestinian leadership body that works with international negotiators and have roiled a territory that those diplomats have envisioned as a future Palestinian state. Any prospect for a return to Israeli-Palestinian talks seems ever more remote.

After winning the world’s support for a new government rooted in reconciliation with the militant Islamic movement Hamas, President Mahmoud Abbas of the Palestinian Authority is under unprecedented attack for cooperating with Israel’s search for the teenagers. He has been vilified as a traitor and threatened with death on social media, and even activists from his own Fatah faction posted Facebook statements challenging his rule.

The crisis at first buoyed Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel with a wave of domestic unity and international outrage, but he has begun to see a backlash against Israel’s arrest campaign. He faces demands to provide proof backing his claim that Hamas is behind the abduction, and even members of his own cabinet have second-guessed his dismissal of Mr. Abbas’s supportive statement.

With the wider Middle East engulfed in violent turmoil, analysts increasingly fear the explosion of a third intifada in the West Bank and Gaza Strip — or the unraveling of the Palestinian Authority — if the teenagers are not found and the Israeli campaign continues to erode Mr. Abbas’s credibility and control.

Nearly two months after the collapse of Secretary John Kerry’s peace talks, the situation only highlights the huge gulf, political and psychological, between the long-warring neighbors.

“In Israel, the whole country is obsessed by this and can’t think of anything more horrible, and on the Palestinian side, you see these cartoons where it’s celebrated,” said Dennis B. Ross, the former American peace negotiator, who arrived in Jerusalem during the weekend. “It’s not just the two publics, it’s the two leaders who have looked at each other through a lens of basic disbelief.”[...]

אימה בבני ברק: תלמיד ישיבה נעצר בחשד לניסיון תקיפת ילדה

Kikar haShabbat

תלמיד ישיבה כבן 19 נעצר הלילה ברחוב עזרא בבני ברק כאשר עקב אחר ילדה בת 13, בחשד כי תכנן לבצע תקיפה חמורה. התלמיד, החשוד בתקיפות נוספות, יובא להארכת מעצר (חרדים)

Rav Zilberstein: Is acting friendly to someone you can't stand - geneivas daas?

Rav Zilberstein (Chashukei ChemedShavuos 35b): Question: A person sees someone from a distance and cringes hoping that the other one doesn’t see him and come over to him because he has no strength to deal with him. And yet when they do in fact meet he forces himself to have a big smile on his face and to give him a friendly greeting while at the same time regretting that they had met and counting the seconds until the person leaves. Is this considered a transgression of the sin of fraud (geneivas daas)? Answer:  Rambam (Hilchos De'os 2:6) writes that it is prohibited to conduct oneself in a fraudent and deceitful manner. A person should not act differently then he feels (the mouth and the heart should be in agreement) but rather his actions and words should be consistent with what he thinks (tocho k'baro) and that which is in his heart should be that which he expresses with his mouth. The Rambam concludes by saying that even one word of deception and fraud is prohibited. But rather he should have truthful lips and an upright spirit and a pure heart in all his endeavors. Rashi expresses similar thoughts in Parshas Vayeshiv (Bereishis 37:4), where he says that Yosef's brothers could not speak to him because they despised him – and from this we learn their praise that they were not able to be deceitful and say something other than what they felt. Thus Rashi is saying that was preferable for Yosef's brothers not to be engaged in chanufa with Yosef and not to act friendly when they didn't have positive feelings about him. We find a similar idea in Sefer Chasidim (51) who says that it is prohibited to deceive others – even a non-Jew. And he adds that those who despise a non-Jew when giving them  a greeting and they cause the non‑Jew to mistakenly think they are being friendly - are in fact sinners. Because there is no greater deception (geneivas daas) than this.

 However concerning the same issue we find in Gittin (62a) that Rav Kahane when he met a non-Jew he gave him a greeting of "peace be to the master." Rashi explains he did not have intent to bless the non-Jew but rather Rav Kahane was thinking of this teacher. Tosfos there asks how Rav Kahane could do this since it was geneivas daas (fraud)? The Chasam Sofer says about Tosfos – צ"ע  - i.e., it is puzzling. The Chasam Sofer notes that Shavuos (35b) says that all the kings mentioned in relationship to Daniel are mundane except for one that is holy, "Thou, O king, king of kings, unto whom the God of heaven hath given the kingdom, the power, and the strength, and the glory" (Daniel 2:37) – which G-d is meant. This indicates that Daniel was calling Nevuchadnezer "king of kings" while in his heart he was referring to G‑d. Therefore, the Chasam Sofer concludes, we are forced to say that in a case of hatred (eivah) or peace (darchei shalom) it is deception is permitted.

However the Yalkut HaMeiri (Gittin 62a) comments that the Chasam Sofer does not really have a question against Tosfos because if in fact Daniel had meant G-d – then it is not considered geneivas daas. This is explicit in the Zohar (Parshas Va'eira 23b),Then came R. Eleazar and R. Abba and kissed R. Simeon's hand, and R. Abba wept and said: ‘Alas for the world when thou, master, shalt be removed from it! It will become an orphan without thee; for who will then illumine the words of the Torah?’ He then went on to quote David's greeting to Nabal: "Be well (lehai, lit. thus for life!), and peace be to thee, etc.” ‘Surely,’ he said, ‘David must have been aware of Nabal's wickedness, and how could he greet him thus? It was, however, New Year's day, the day when the Holy One judges the world, and David's intention in using both expressions, “Thus for life”, and “and thou art peace”, was to address Him from whom all life and all peace come, in order to make a fitting profession of faith. And greeting a righteous person with Shalom! (peace, harmony) is like greeting the Holy One Himself, especially when addressed to thee, O master, who in thine own person representest the harmony between the above and the below! But it is not allowed to greet thus a wicked person, and yet, if it be unavoidable, there is no insincerity involved in the phrase when outwardly addressed to the person concerned, but inwardly intended for God." So therefore if you want to claim this was deception – it is not – because one who offers a beracha intends it for G-d. If the wicked person mistakenly thinks it was directed at him – then he is just fooling himself. Thus we see that Daniel was blessing G-d and it was not considered geneivas daas. In contrast if one blesses a non-Jew and means his teacher – that is truly geneivas daas.

Back to our topic, it says in Avos (1:15), One should receive all people with a pleasant countenance. Since it says "all" that means even people that you don't like. Rabbeinu Yonah notes that you should show them a happy face in order that people will like you. This implies that even if you truly are not happy to see him – you should still look happy. That means it is not geneivas daas  but rather fulfilling G-d's will and in fact it is a mitzva. Furthermore that by doing this you might start liking the person since the heart follows after one's actions. The exception would be concerning a wicked person because it is prohibited to receive a wicked person with joy since you are to hate those that G-d hates.

Justina Pelletier: Case of medical child abuse or family abuse by the Department of Children and Families?

This is a sobering case where a teenager was taken from her family on the charges of child medical abuse - despite the fact that she was being cared for by one of the world's best hospitals. Supposedly on the basis of what was best for the child, the legal system took custody claiming her problems were psychological not medical- because the parents refused to accept the new diagnosis. It cost the government $400,000 for treatment in the last 16 months based on the new diagnosis - with little improvement and a deterioration in her physical condition. Because of wide spread outcries - she has been at last returned to her family. Big Brother does not always know what is best!

 

Boston Globe   When juvenile court judges and the state’s child-protection agency allow children in custody to return to their parents, there is supposed to be only one standard: the best interests of the child.

But political, legal, and financial factors appear to have also figured prominently in resolving the impasse in the 16-month-long custody battle over Connecticut teenager Justina Pelletier, and, some child welfare specialists argue, the factors may have played outsized roles. The case was locked in acrimony between the parents and the Department of Children and Families , and as recently as March the judge in the case deemed the parents unfit.

Much changed in the past month, however.

Juvenile Court Judge Joseph Johnston, at the request of DCF, restored custody to the parents Tuesday, ending the case that the child welfare agency had brought against the parents, whom officials had accused of medical child abuse. On Wednesday, Justina returned to her family’s home in West Hartford, Conn., cradled in her father’s arms.[...]

DCF filed a motion June 6 to dismiss the case. The judge went along Tuesday, citing “credible evidence that circumstances have changed.” The order said nothing about the diagnostic dispute, one in which he sided as recently as March with Boston Children’s Hospital, saying Justina’s ailments had psychological origins.

The hospital staff had filed medical child abuse charges against the parents in February 2013, a few days after Justina arrived in their emergency room. Her mother insisted that Justina was suffering from complications of mitochondrial disorder, for which the girl had been treated at Tufts Medical Center for more than a year.

Yet, more than a year later, many child welfare officials said they could not argue that moving Justina home is not in her best interests, given some sobering truths. She had not been getting much better in DCF care, and her mobility appears worse, as the teen who once walked easily now relies on a wheelchair.[...]

Why are Reform and Conservative Judaism dying: An important lesson for all Jews

I recently came across Relational Judaism by Dr. Ron Wolfson ©2013. It accurately describes the non-Orthodox world - which has been constantly searching for ways to stop the flood of people out of their congregations by trying to entertain them or by making Judaism interesting or meaningful. Or failing that by converting non-Jews or tolerating inter-marriage and not demanding much in terms of observance or even education. 

The solution he proposes - that the Jewish communities need to encourage and development relationships for the individual - is one that the Orthodox world need to be reminded about. The Orthodox world needs to know that while focus on intensive Torah study and mitzvos is important - it is not enough to stop our children going off the derech. It is not enough to seal our world by banning Internet, smartphones, newspapers, movies, magazine and books. It is not enough to label the outside as a heretic. It is not enough to dress differently and prohibit immodest dress and mingling of the sexes. We also need to be concerned about developing good interpersonal relations  within our community.

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 A Cautionary Tale    Recently, I was invited to be scholar-in-residence at what was once one of the largest synagogues in the United States. The congregation was celebrating its one-hundredth anniversary. The campus was dominated by a huge building, built in the 1960s. The sanctuary was enormous, and a labyrinth of hallways led to dozens of classrooms, offices, and meeting halls. In the year 2000, the community had no mortgage, no debt, and a balanced budget. Most synagogues would love to be in such great shape.   Yet, there were signs that the coming decade would be challenging.   

  
The building was aging and in need of renovation. The senior rabbi who had served the congregation for decades was retiring. Most ominously, the demography of the community had changed; young people were moving north. The synagogue membership was slowly but surely declining from a high of nearly 1,500 households. The leaders of the synagogue knew that something had to be done.  

 Here's the something they did.  In the year 2000, they decided to borrow one million dollars to invest in the future growth of the congregation. After the long-serving, beloved rabbi retired, they hired a high-priced rabbi.. who lasted less than two years. That cost one-half million dollars. The other   half-million was spent on programming, all kinds of programming­ big events, concerts, community lectures with high-priced nationally  renowned speakers, highly touted initiatives to get more people into  the synagogue on Shabbat-all sorts of things. Many of the programs had clever names, good marketing, and high appeal to specific segments of the community. Lots of people showed up for the programs and, by all accounts, enjoyed them. And then ... they left.  

Nothing was done to change the ambiance of the congregation, which was widely considered cold and unwelcoming. Nothing was done to engage the people with others in attendance. Nothing was done to connect individuals with the congregation itself. Nothing was done to find out who they were. Nothing was done to follow up. Nothing was done to convince the members that the institution truly cared about them.  The result: after ten years of this initiative, the congregation was a million dollars in debt, and membership had shrunk to 300 households. By the time 1 got there, the leaders were kicking themselves, asking me what they could do to reinvigorate their community.  I told them what I will tell you.  It's all about relationships.   People will come to synagogues, Jewish Community Centers, Jewish Federations, and other Jewish organizations for programs, but they will stay for relationships. Programs are wonderful opportunities for community members to gather, to celebrate, to learn. There is nothing “wrong" with programs; every organization has them. But, if the program designers have given no thought to how the experience will offer  participants a deeper connection to each other, with the community,  and with Judaism itself, then it will likely be another lovely evening,  afternoon, or morning ... with little or no lasting impact.   

For those interested in living a Jewish life and for those professionals and lay leaders seeking to increase Jewish engagement, permit me to put my cards on the table, up front:   It's not about programs.  It's not about marketing.  It's not about branding, labels, logos, clever titles, websites, or smartphone apps.   It's not even about institutions.   It's about relationships.   [...] 

Let me be blunt: the slakes are high. Until recently, we have done pretty well to engage Jews through some connection with the Jewish community. Estimates suggest 80 percent of Jews affiliate with some institution-a synagogue, a Jewish Community Center, a Federation, a school, a youth group-at some point in their lives. We get 'em, but then, we lose 'em, usually at key transition points. Why? Because we have failed to develop deep relationships with many of the individuals who come into our midst, and we are, frankly, terrible at transitioning our people from one organization to another, from one City to another, from one life stage to another.  We can do better.  [...]

But, what happens after the crowds go home? Has anything happened during the time they were at the program to deepen their relationship to the community, to the sponsoring institution, and most importantly, to each other? Or, will they check it off their to-do list, another consumable activity, demanding little or no commitment other than a couple of hours of their time. And, will they continue their relationship with the institution? A rabbi confides in me, "A woman who was a member of my synagogue for twenty years resigned. 1 was shocked because she showed up to all of our programs. So, 1 called her to ask why she was leaving. You know what she said? 'I came to everything, and I never met anybody"
 

 Something is missing. Something critically important. Something so crucial, it could determine the health of the North American Jewish community in the twenty-first century.  It’s time to shift our paradigm. It is time to shift the shape of Jewish engagement.