Tuesday, February 2, 2016

The dangers of the Internet: 13 year old killed as a result of online chat

Washington Post    There are few holes deeper than those in the heart of a 13-year-old girl.

For many, it is an age of painful yearning, of a life lived in imaginary cloudworlds, away from acne and algebra and all that awkwardness.

It used to be 13-year-olds would cry into their pillows. Or write in rainbow-covered journals, with rainbow pens. Their pain was private. Still, most endured, and survived.

But Nicole Madison Lovell found something we all wanted when we were 13: an audience.

There are people out there who listen to sad, lonely girls, tell them they are beautiful and smart. They were right there — in Nicole’s bedroom.

She asked them if she was cute. She flirted with them. She showed them coquettish pictures of herself. She was a social media-savvy tween when she told them all about her first kiss. Her imaginary cloudworld wasn’t private. On Facebook, Instagram, Kik, in chats and groups, she wasn’t the kid with the liver transplant scars, or the baby fat girl bullied in her seventh grade classes. She was a flirting, dating teen with lip gloss and great lines.

And Nicole did not survive.[...]

But here’s what we do know for sure: Nicole led an active, imaginary life online, meeting people on Kik, a messaging app that has been the bane of law enforcement officials these past couple years. [...]

“Kik became the latest thing,” Bacon said. “It’s attractive to predatators because of its anonymity. You can make a Kik account and you can make yourself out to be anyone you want to be.”[...]

Bacon said he tells parents to never let their kids have in-depth, online conversations with strangers. If your kid has crossed the line, ask your phone carrier to have your kid’s phone mirrored to your phone.

“Every text, every picture they send, mom and dad can see on their device,” he said.

My kids hate it when I do that. Too bad.[...]


Monday, February 1, 2016

Rav Gestetner criticizes ORA

"THE REAL CULPRIT IN THE TAMAR FRIEDMAN EPSTEIN REMARRIAGE"

GUEST POST:

Most of us by now have realized that Tamar Friedman Epstein’s remarriage to Adam Fleischer is a clear violation of the Torah and should she bear any children with him, they will be branded as mamzerim. We have witnessed dozens of great Rabbis decry the Kamenetsky Greenblatt Heter to remarry.  The question is : What caused Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky to allow for such a clear breach of the Torah? The answer in my opinion is that we have allowed for so many years the laws of Gittin to be twisted to conform to the modern feminist  movement’s wishes, which has led us in a path of laxity in the stringencies of Hilchos Gittin.  We have recently seen countless rabbis involved in  practicing “forced Gittin” against halocho, being exposed for their bad deeds. But the list of such rabbis is much bigger. Most rabbis involved in forced gittin aren’t kidnappers or torturers, but their methodologies produce the same mamzerim as Tamar Epstein would. Is it a mere coincidence that so many rabbis involve in this anti- Torah  scheme meet their fate in the same year?  

 One such entity that is responsible for much strife and enmity in Divorce matters is ORA (organization for the resolution of Agunot ) led by R. Jeremy Stern. He runs an organization well-funded by the feminist  movement , to force Gittin on all men. Make no mistake, according to ORA, you have no halachic justification to argue your case on why your wife hasn’t received her Get, but rather they will destroy your reputation, financial means , and distance you from your children all in the name of the GET. This organization has gained momentum in the last 20 years under the false pretense of helping victimized women whose husbands refuse to give them a GET. Although there exist cases of true Agunot, many others are all “self created Agunot” to help ORA bolster the need to raise funds for their “ overinflated number of Agunot”.

 These “fake Agunot” are in reality mentored and guided by ORA to withhold negotiations with their husbands or only negotiate terms that are 100% favorable to them, thereby causing no movement in negotiating an end, and thereby extending the “fake aguna status to 10+ years in many cases. They can then claim to the public that they have an “Aguna Crisis” and raise more money for their cause. Additionally ORA has over the years bullied rabbis who don’t follow along with them in their scheme. Their greatest weapon has been public rallies and other intimidation tactics. 

Let’s take for example the Aharon Friedman and Meir Kin cases. These men have gone to Bais Din from the beginning. They both had followed halachic protocol and showed a willingness to give their wife’s Gittin. In fact Meir Kin had deposited a Get over 8 years ago. However as the following letter from Bais Din Shaar Hamishpot indicates, Lonna Kin stated to Rabbi Gestetner that ORA is unwilling to remove all their hateful propaganda against Meir. The Bais Din has informed her and several others that once the internet/ newspaper bashing is removed, then negotiations for the release of the Get can begin, as otherwise the GET will be not kosher due to coercive tactics employed.  Rabbi Gestetner informed Lonna that indeed ORA is the cause of her not receiving a GET. The question is why after 10 years of separation and  Meir remarrying with a Heter of  100 Rabbonim, that ORA is refusing to help out Lonna in receiving her GET? 

Then  you have Aharon Friedman offering a GET, but just requests that Tamar move back to his vicinity to visit with his daughter, but once again no negotiated end? ORA was once again also involved in the Friedman-Epstein divorce.  How ludicrous is this whole fiasco, where all that had to be done was to negotiate a settlement? But why is Tamar Epstein and Lonna Kin and many others going along with ORA after years with no GET?  Therefore , we all must wake up and realize that ORA is the culprit for many of these unsettled cases. They will continue to obstruct meaningful negotiations if it opposes their feminist agenda or if it diminishes their "Aguna numbers", and until we stop our support of ORA and distance ourselves from them, we will see a continued amount of unsettled divorce cases in which many of these husbands are actually wishing to give their wives a GET, but are waiting for a negotiated fair settlement so they too can live life after the divorce.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Rav Avraham Chaim Sherman :Kaminetsky-Greenblatt heter







הובאו לפני דבריהם של הרבנים הגאונים דייני בית הדין קבוע דבאלטימור שליט"א, ראש ישיבת נר ישראל הרב אהרן פלדמן שליט"א, ראב"ד דמאנסי כבוד הרב שמואל יהודה לייב לאנדסמאן שליט"א אודות המעשה הנורא של התרת אשת איש לעלמא בלא גט רח"ל דבר שפוגע בקדושת הנישואין וקדושת עם ישראל.
מאחר והתרת אשת איש לעלמא בלא גט לא נעשתה ע"י בי"ד חשוב ובלא הסכמתם של גדולי תורה ופסיקה והושתתה על הפקעת קידושין בלא גט מכח מקח טעות.
חובה להקים בי"ד חשוב של דיינים מומחים, ובדחיפות שיזמינו את האיש והאשה ????? (אולי וזאת?) ע"מ לאפרושי מאיסורים חמורים, ושמירה על קדושת הנשואין וקדושת עם ישראל.
באתי על החתום להיות שותף לפסיקתם ומחאתם של גדולי התורה והפסיקה, <חתימה>

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Chazon Ish: Understanding of Jewish thought and Agada requires knowledge of halacha


אמונה ובטחון
השלמה לפרק ג'   כח

אלה שלא זכו לאור הגמ' בהלכה המה משוללים גס מאגדה באפי' האמיתי כי בהיותו חסר לב חכמהו אי אפשר לו לקנות מושגים שמימים אמיתים, גם אינן מסוגל ללימודים מישרים ומה שהזכירו בגמ' בעלי אגדה היינו חכמים בהלכה שהוסיפו עיונם גם באגדה אבל לא יתכן להיות ריק מהלכה ולהיות בעל אגדה, ויתכן אנשים שעסקם בהגיונות בני אדם כעין פילוסופי' ריקנית פעם במדות פעם בקורות הדורות ועוד כיוצא בהם ומשתדלים לקבוע הגות לבם במסגרות התורה, ויתכן שיצליחו למשוך לב השומעים ולהנעים זמירות באזני המקשיבים, ואמנם אלה אין להם חלק בתורה לא בהלכה רלא באגדה כי כיסוד ההלכה יסוד ההגדה, אין הגדה הגיון לב. ההגדה היא חלק התורה שקיבלנוה דור אחר דור אשר מסרה משה ליהושע ויהושע לזקנים וכדתנן באבות ולהיות בעל הגדה החובה להיות בקי במקרא בתורה בנביאים וכתובים, להיות בקי בכל אגדות שנאמרו בגמ' בקיאות נאמנה להיות בקי במדרש בקיאות שנונה ומסודרת, ואחר כך לשאת ולתת בה בהבנת המסקנות שבהם. וכמו שלא יתכן חכם בהלכה בלא קנין הבקיאות המרובה, ואמנם אלה החפצים בהתגלות לבם מורגלים בידיעות מקוטעות קטע מכאן וקטע משם עד שנאסף בידם ילקוט של מאמרים ספורים המשמשים בם לברוא הרצאות להשמיע לרבים (ומהם מופלגים בבורות וריקנות אינם יודעים לתרגם התורה נו"כ אינם יודעים את הכתוב בראשונים ידיעה מספקת, ומהם שלא למדו כלל תנ"ך ואינם מבינים ללמוד אגדה בבמ' ברוב מקומות הש"ס) ובכל זאת המה מחנכים לצעירי הצאן, ומטיפים לקח במידות ומוסר ולפעמים גם במדע ומתק שפתים ) ואם אמנם המה גורמים לעתים להטות לב הרכים ליראה ולמוסר, ולבנו רוחש להם כבוד והערצה על מעשיהם הטובים, אבל אין שמחתנו שלמה בהם כי סוף סוף חסר לנו תורה ויש כאן עניות דתורה, ויצירתם בלתי מתוקנת בהחלט, וכמו שכתוב בפרקים הקודמים, אם אין תורה אין חכמה אין עצה ואין תבונה.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Prenuptial Agreement:Rabbi Shalom Spira proposed correction to RCA resolution

Be-chasdei Ha-Kadosh Barukh Hu, Yishtabach Shemo


Shalom Aleikhem Ha-Rav ha-Ga'on R. Daniel Eidensohn, shlit"aBishvilo Nivra ha-Olam, u-Mimenu Ein Raz Ne'elam,

I think that Kevod Torato ha-Rav will appreciate this letter I sent to the President of the RCA two months ago regarding how to rectify the RCA prenuptial agreement.

Todah rabbah ve-khol tuv,

Shalom Spira
Montreal, Canada




From: Shalom Chaim Spira
Sent: November 24, 2015 16:38
To: rabbibaum@ketertorah.org
Subject: RCA Resolution entitled `ORA; Kayama; and, Illegal Halachic Relationships`

Be-chasdei Ha-Kadosh Barukh Hu, Yishtabach Shemo


Shalom Aleikhem R. Shalom Baum, shlit"a, Nassi shel Histadrut ha-Rabbanim de-America, Yehi Noam Ha-Shem Alav, ve-Al Kol ha-Nilvim Elav,

Congratulations to Kevod Torato ha-Rav upon his appointment as President of the RCA. 

With the kind permission of Kevod Torato ha-Rav, I would like to respond to the recent RCA resolution entitled  `ORA; Kayama; and, Illegal Halachic Relationships`, available here: http://www.rabbis.org/news/article.cfm?id=105834

The resolution calls upon every RCA member to utilize the prenuptial agreement available at <theprenup.org> for every wedding where he is mesader kiddushin. However, what the talmidei chakhamim who voted in favour of this resolution may not have realized is that R. Moshe Sternbuch recently wrote a responsum disqualifying this very same prenuptial agreement. The responsum is available at https://www.scribd.com/doc/273292099/Rav-Moshe-Sternbuch-condemns-prenuptial-agreements?secret_password=tfA9agf8H8M7dDE9Hk4N. R. Sternbuch`s responsum vindicates Section A of my prenuptial agreement essay at http://www.scribd.com/doc/176990434/Prenuptial-Agreements , which reached the same conclusion prior to R. Sternbuch (based, as my essay is, on R. J. David Bleich, Be-Netivot ha-Halakhah Vol. 1, the latter having been published two decades ago).

Of interest to Kevod Torato ha-Rav will be that my prenuptial agreement essay (which diamond-polishes R. Jacob Kamenetzky`s proposal how to rescue agunot; R. Kamenetzky having been presented with the original idea by his disciple R. J. David Bleich) was even more recently publicized in the Canadian Jewish News (Nov. 12, 2015; p. 32) in honour of Parashat Toldot, a scan of which is presently enclosed. 


Given these developments, I hope that Kevod Torato ha-Rav will encourage the RCA to reformulate its resolution to call upon every RCA member to abandon the (well-meaning albeit unfortunately disqualified) prenuptial agreement at <theprenup.org>  and to instead employ the kosher prenuptial agreement presented by my essay.

I thank Kevod Torato ha-Rav for his kindness in receiving my recommendation.

Todah rabbah ve-khol tuv,
Shalom Spira
Montreal, Canada

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Jeremy Stern - I quit my shul when the rabbi came out against prenuptial agreements


Two weeks ago, I rescinded my shul membership. The rabbi had made a public statement against the use of halachic prenuptial agreements. For me, he crossed a red line. I cannot identify with an institution whose religious leader opposes rectifying one of the worst desecrations of G-d’s name that currently plagues the Orthodox community. 

Get recalcitrance is not only a violation of Jewish law, but a form of domestic abuse in and of itself. Domestic abuse is not just about black-and-blue marks, but about a repeated assertion of power and control from one spouse over the other. That is precisely what goes on when an estranged husband vindictively and sadistically refuses to issue a get long after the marriage has proven to be irreconcilable. 

We cannot stand idly by while such abuse is perpetrated in our midst, and we cannot simply point fingers at others — rabbis in particular — to “fix” the problem. Simple solutions are rarely the cures for complex problems, and the agunah crisis is no exception. However, while a comprehensive solution to the agunah crisis may be beyond our grasp, there is one solution which has been extremely effective in preventing this problem going forward, and it is in our hands to implement: the halachic prenuptial agreement.

At the end of the day, we choose our rabbis, our rabbis don’t choose us. We hire our shul rabbis. We are the ones who vote them in and sign their contracts. It is up to us to make this a red-line issue. We must hire rabbis who will not only encourage the use of halachic prenups throughout the community, but insist upon their use whenever they officiate. [...]

R Shlomo Rechnitz speaking out about children rejected by Lakewood schools




Friday, January 22, 2016

Beshalach; Was The Land Of "Moav" Originally For The Jews By Rabbi Shlomo Pollak



At the end of the Bris Bein HaBesorim (בראשית טו, יח-כא) , Avrohom Aveinu was promised the land of 10 nations, including קיני קנזי & קדמני, which Rashi there explains is אדום עמון ומואב......

"ביום ההוא כרת ה' את אברם ברית לאמר לזרעך נתתי את הארץ הזאת מנהר מצרים עד הנהר הגדל נהר פרת. את הקיני ואת הקנזי ואת הקדמני. ואת החתי ואת הפרזי ואת הרפאים. ואת האמרי ואת הכנעני ואת הגרגשי ואת היבוסי"

We, of course, only  got the 7 lands, and Rashi explains the other three we will get לעתיד לבא......

There is, however, an apparent contradiction in the words of Rashi himself, if that was the original plan, or if we lost those three, after the  חטא מרגלים.......

For questions and comments please email salmahshleima@gmail.com

Rabbi Brodksy strongly criticizes Rav Moshe Sternbuch for calling for public protests against gedolim (i.e. Rabbi Kaminetsky) regarding the heter

 update: added audo recording
Rabbi Brodsky - a rosh yeshiva in Toronto - expresses the view of many rabbis that one can not publicly criticize gedolim and he says Rav Sternbuch's words should be ripped up and thrown away. The layman should not talk about the issue at all since it is being handled properly by rabbis behind closed doors. In contrast Rav Sternbuch has clearly and strongly stated that it is the obligation of every Jew to protest against this corruption of halacha.

The fact that Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky has not rejected the heter for adultery and that Rav Nota Greenblatt has not publicly acknowledged that the heter for adultery he gave is invalid - deserves criticism - as the Rambam (Hilchos De'os 6:8) has clearly stated. It is not as if this is a complex halachic problem. They simple continue to refuse to acknowledge the obvious - that they have made a serious mistake in giving a heter for adultery - and need to publicly acknowledge it

audio recording January 16 2016


Tefillos for a refuah sheleima for Rav Chaim Yisroel Belsky

 

Rav Yisroel Belsky is a brilliant talmid chochom, treasured rosh yeshiva, tzadik and poseik.
 
He is hospitalized in very serious condition and is desperately in need of our tefillos.
 
Please daven for him besoch shar cholei yisroel for a refuah sheleimah b’mheirah.

Hespeidim Thursday night at 9 p.m. for Rav Refoel Shmulewitz zt"l

Jerry Finkelman wrote

There will be a live audio-hookup of the "Hespeidim" tonight (Thursday) following the petira of Rosh Yeshivas Mir, Moron Hagaon Rav Refoel Shmulewitz zt"l, which will iy"h take place at the Yeshiva Gedolah of Toronto.


To connect to this live broadcast,

Dial-In number: 605-562-3107
Participant access code: 941091#
The broadcast will begin at 9:00pm

Beshalach 76 - Questions and Discovery lead to Song and Faith by Allan Katz


The climax of the Exodus from Egypt was the splitting of the Red Sea and the prophetic song at the sea – shirat ha'yam which the Israelites sang expressing gratitude, trust and total belief in God- Hashem. The midrash notes that no one before ,had broken out in song when saved by a miracle performed by God and now since the singing of the song , God's presence in the world had become more established. So what was different about the miracle of the splitting of the Red sea? Miracles in the past, like those performed for Abraham and the Israelites in Egypt were performed to save people or get them out of trouble. The splitting of the Red sea was different. The route taken out of Egypt most probably raised many questions. There was a shorter route - the route they came to Egypt, which also meant that they did not have to cross the Red Sea. After travelling 3 days and reaching Succot , they back-tracked and started moving in the direction of Egypt . This encouraged Pharaoh and his army to pursue the Israelites as they seemed to be now trapped between the Sea, wilderness and an army going after them.

It seemed that God was putting them into trouble so that He could perform a miracle which would glorify and sanctify His Name in the world. Previously, miracles were performed to get people out of trouble, now God put the Israelites into trouble so that He could perform a miracle. After the witnessing and experiencing the miracle at the sea, the Israelites gained a flash of insight, a deep understanding of how God conducts the world, how all apparently unrelated and contradictory phenomena meld into a coherent, merciful, comprehensible whole. They saw and heard how every note, instrument and participant in the symphony of creation plays its role and the result is song. The Israelites came to the realization that their purpose in the world and the purpose of the creation was to create a partnership with God in order to glorify and sanctify His name by the way they live their lives in this world. At the sea the suffering of the Egyptian exile, their hopelessness and helplessness when surrounded by Pharaoh, the sea and the wilderness and the deception that led Pharaoh to pursue them took on a new meaning as being part of the Divine plan.

When one has unanswered questions and doubts and then one expereiences a flash of insight and deep understanding about one's purpose and relevance in the world, it not only touches the mind but also the heart and soul. When the understanding is both intellectual, intuitive and comes from revelation and discovery, the knowledge is understood also in an emotional way. And this leads to faith –emunah and deep trust in God.

The process of discovery and not telling, leads to both intellectual and emotional understanding. This cornerstone of authentic education is played out again in our parasha with the miracle of the 'manna from heaven '. The manna was covered with a layer of dew and did not become noticeable until the sun melted the upper layer of dew, whereupon people saw something of the likes that they had never seen before. Their reaction was one of surprise – ' mun hoo ' what is it ? and they guessed that it was some type of food. Moses informed them that it was indeed food that they would receive every day except for the Sabbath.

'Education is not a filing of the pail, but lighting the fire of learning' – Yeats and that is how the Torah instructs parents and teachers to transmit the message of the Exodus from Egypt. We do this by creating an environment that promotes discovery, curiosity and the asking of questions. The questions of the 4 sons from the Pesach seider are examples how learning and discussion is driven the curiosity and questions of children. And we can help them by sharing our questions and focusing on even deeper questions and the ideas and values behind them.

Things today are going terribly wrong with pre-school education with the focus more on academic readiness like reading, writing and arithmetic at the expense of intellectual skills.' “Young children enter the classroom with lively minds–with innate intellectual dispositions toward making sense of their own experience, toward reasoning, predicting, analyzing, questioning and learning,” says Dr. Lilian Katz. “But in our attempt to quantify and verify children’s learning, we impose premature formal instruction on kids at the expense of cultivating their true intellectual capabilities – and ultimately their optimal learning.” In this respect we can learn from the Finns, who don’t begin formal reading instruction until around age 7, have to say about preparing preschoolers to read: “The basis for the beginnings of literacy is that children have heard and listened … They have spoken and been spoken to, people have discussed [things] with them … They have asked questions and received answers.” It is all about relationship and conversation – encouraging young children to use and hear complex language , paying close attention to their thought processes and finding ways to make children think aloud. Preschool years should be not just on vocabulary and reading, but on talking and listening.

The Torah is also referred to as a song – 'write down this song for you'. A song is not only an expression of gratitude and joy but an expression of faith and trust. If we want the Torah to be a song for ourselves and our children, our learning and living should be focused on discovery and making meaning in our lives, being of service to man and serving God. The focus for kids should be on what they are learning and doing and not on how well they are learning and doing.

Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter: CLARITY; REAL ISSUES, SEMI-ISSUES AND NON-ISSUES

This is a guest post from someone I respect. However in this case I think he has missed the boat because he is basically saying the scandal is simply a machlokes haposkim. But in fact there is no halachic dispute - there are no poskim who think this is a valid heter.

The fight is over whether this is a public issue where everyone is invited to protest a major scandal or whether it should be left for the rabbonim to clean up this disgusting mess behind closed doors and the rest of us should act as if nothing happened.
===========================================
Guest Post

I am a layman, with no connection to any of the parties, and I think we have reached the level of semi-mass hysteria. Professionally, I am an analyst, so I analyzed. My analysis turned up 12 possible issues. I rate them as follows; five are Non-Issues, two are Semi-Issues and five are Real-Issues, with the most important (the last one) possibly having the most impact, and being a result only of this semi-mass hysteria. So, Read On, and BE CALM

1. Using Rav Moshe’s Heter

NON-ISSUE; Each posek has a mesorah and his own ability to rely on the great poskim. If a posek is relying on a great posek’s psak (Psak A), another great posek can disagree with the original psak, but that doesn’t change any posek’s ability to rely on Psak A, especially if that is his mesorah, and especially if that great posek was his Rebbe.

2. Rav Shmuel Shlit”a and Rav Sholom Shlit”a Trying to help their Constituent

NON-ISSUE; Any person that has a halachic issue or another problem, should turn to those rabbanim with whom they have a relationship to ask for help. Thousands of people turn to the Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva they know every day.

3. Asking Other Poskim to join In The Heter (“Shopping Around”)

NON-ISSUE; This is a very old time-honored practice. If a Rav/Poseik is asked to pasken on a difficult shaila, he often would say, I would pasken this way, but only if other Poskim join in the psak. This is especially true in serious, complicated questions such as agunah, gittin, etc.

This often would entail discussing the Halachic issues with many poskim until some/enough agreed to the psak.

4. Relying On Professionals for Diagnosis

NON-ISSUE; Many situations in psak rely on professionals for their opinions. The poskim are not doctors, surgeons, engineers, physicists, etc. They need the professionals to explain the actuality of the situation, and then the posek can apply the appropriate Halacha. Once someone is established as a true professional, his description of the reality is usually relied on. And yes, there are differences of opinion, which the posek has to then deal with as well.

5. Paying for Professional Opinions.

NON-ISSUE; When professionals are asked for their professional opinion, be it for a second consultation for a diagnosis, or an expert opinion in a court, they are paid for their time.

6. How Did The Doctor Arrive At His Diagnosis?

REAL ISSUE: Can such a diagnosis be made without meeting the person being diagnosed? This issue is for professionals in the field of psychiatry/psychology to determine. Not for us layman, nor rabbis, nor avid internet connoisseurs, who know nothing about the field. And a few prominent people in the field who have an opinion, even if makes sense to us layman, does not yet tell us if their opinion is broadly accepted, or is a minority opinion.

7. Can We Rely On Psychiatry/Psychology To Determine A True Reality?

REAL ISSUE: Some areas of wisdom and knowledge are solidly based on facts, others are based on fact and educated guess. Many diagnoses in medicine are the latter, whereas many in electrical engineering are the former. In general, the greater the professional, the more his opinion/educated guess will count. Psychiatry/psychology fall into the second category, with wide differing opinions as to what percent are facts and what percent are educated guesses.

This is a very important issue because we know/see/hear of psychiatrists/psychologists diagnosing/treating/pontificating about our friends, relatives and our frum society. If their knowledge is more of educated guess, with less fact, should we be putting so much trust in them?

Only people intimately knowledgeable about these fields can guide us. We layman, rabbis, and avid internet connoisseurs, who know nothing about this field – our opinions are totally worthless.

8. How Do We Know The Diagnosis Was True At The Time Of The Wedding?

REAL ISSUE: In order to be a Mekach Taus, the problem has to be present at the time of the purchase/wedding. How did the professional know that? (See #9)

9. Why Wasn’t The Husband Given The Opportunity To Rebut?

REAL ISSUE: To me, the total layman, this seems like an excellent question. However, if I posed the question to the doctor who made the diagnosis, he might well have answered me - and calmed me - by saying, “This is such an obvious case, there is no need to talk to the patient.” And I, most likely, would bow to his well-deserved knowledgeable and professional opinion. Did the Rabbonim do just that

10. Why Wasn’t The Original Beis Din In Baltimore Involved?

SEMI- ISSUE: As far as I understand, they have the only “official” jurisdiction. However, since so much time had elapsed, and so many others were involved, it might have been the prudent thing to go in a different direction, even if not technically correct

11. Why Aren’t The Other Poskim That Agreed With The Heter In The Public’s Eye?

SEMI-ISSUE: It seems that there were other poskim involved, so, if there has to be a public debate, why aren’t they also involved? (See #12)

12. Private Or Public Matter?

REAL ISSUE; As we have seen, there are some real Halachic issues in this case. What should happen is that some rabbonim/gedolim should write a complete Teshuva about it, clarifying their disagreement (as some have), and then the poskim that did pasken, should write a rebuttal Teshuva, as has happened thousands of times in Torah history. A posek wouldn’t necessarily have to answer, but that would be the usual historical case

There is a large and significant difference between then and now. We are all aware of how in the past, historically, there were situations that went from Halachic differences between poskim, to open animosity and Sinas Chinom between communities, with far reaching negative consequences. Those were often caused by a few people who were not poskim, who made the weight of their opinions count.

Today, with internet access, everyone has an opinion, and everyone states their opinion so strongly, so forcefully and seemingly cogently, that public opinion is often easily swayed. Does a posek or Rav or any leader have to have all his actions judged by everyone? Does he have to answer to everyone? If, in this case, he answers and explains his Halachic opinion, will it then be another accepted machlokes between poskim? Will that be enough to end this? Will that calm the masses?

To put it another way, is this truly a “Machlokes L’Shaim Shomayim,” and therefore a halachic answer clarifying their position will be accepted as a true psak, even if not agreed with? Or is it mixed with “Shelo Le’Shaim Shomayim,” and nothing will be accepted except a total declaration of defeat?

A way to partially determine this is to look at the way people speak. Are Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva and Gedolim always being spoken of in ways of total respect? Even if one strongly disagrees, they should be disagreeing with the psak, not with the person, and total kavod should be the norm. This would be true if it is only a “Machlokes L’Shaim Shomayim.” By the often serious lack of kavod in these discussions, it sadly seems that mixed in is “Shelo Le’Shaim Shomayim” and therefore only total capitulation to the masses will suffice.

If that seems to be true, then any thoughtful posek would retreat into the safety of silence, depriving the Torah community from the free exchange of Torah ideas. If so, we have arrived at a sad state of affairs, and makes any situation like this infinitely more difficult to resolve.

Perhaps we should all back off, keep our opinions to ourselves, show true proper kavod, and create a free, open space where the poskim can continue to fight the Milchamta Shel Torah purely L’Shem Shamayim.