Why this ultra-Orthodox Democrat will observe Yom Hazikaron

JPost by Rabbi Mendel Horowitz    For the first time in my 17 years living in Israel I plan to observe Yom Hazikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day, not because I am Israeli – I am not – but because I am Jewish.

For me there was always a difference. Come April 15 I will escort my visiting American students to Mount Herzl where we will hear eulogies for those fallen. We will recite Psalms and grieve for dead Jews – husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters who died or were murdered as noncombatants on sovereign Israeli soil – a modern variation on an ancient theme. We may not care for “Hatikva” or “Jerusalem of Gold,” but we can care enough for tears.

I am, in my synagogue in Jerusalem, a pariah. A self-identified ultra-Orthodox Jew – complete with beard and sidelocks – I twice supported Barack Obama, the candidate my fellow  worshipers would hardly mention by name. Back home, in New York, I am a registered Democrat, a political affiliation increasingly unfashionable among my coreligionists. This past November I saw the political conservatism in my congregation mirroring its traditionalist theology. Recognizing a consistent reactionary agenda I shrank from both its expressions, and began assessing my allegiances. [...]

Throughout my childhood Zionism was mostly ignored, making it natural to pass over while engaging the spiritual elements of my Jewishness. Barring Rabbi Abraham Kook (1865-1935), who was viewed as an anomaly, the rabbis I grew up respecting attached little priority to the State of Israel and I became ambivalent regarding its being. Israel was at best a side-dish to the main course of my religion – the study of Torah and eminence of its laws.

That was then. Now, as I discover my liberal political views at odds with the elitist views of my congregation, I question too their other standoffish platforms – those that relegate Israel to the edge of the plate. Historically opposed to the State of Israel, my rabbi’s rabbi’s rabbis may have argued coherently against its establishment but today, such arguments seem beside the point. A dissent that began in earnest has evolved into a cultural diffidence, empty of clear reason. I cannot argue confidently against the existing Israeli state and more importantly, why would I want to? [...]

Anything wrong with high school students assigned to defend "Jews are evil"?

CNN  by Stephen Prothero, a Boston University religion scholar and author of "The American Bible: How Our Words Unite, Divide, and Define a Nation," is a regular CNN Belief Blog contributor.

School officials in Albany, New York, are racing to control the damage after a teacher at Albany High School gave students a persuasive writing assignment that challenged them to defend the proposition that “Jews are evil.”

After studying Nazi propaganda and rhetoric, sophomores in three English classes were instructed to imagine that their teacher was “a member of the government in Nazi Germany” and to prove that that they were “loyal to the Nazis.”

But this unidentified teacher is now caught up in a propaganda swirl of his or her own.

Albany Superintendent Marguerite Vanden Wyngaard, at a Friday press conference at which she was flanked by members of the Anti-Defamation League and Jewish Federation of New York, apologized and promised disciplinary action.

One student, Emily Karandy, told The Times Union of Albany that she kept putting off the assignment “because I didn’t want to think about it” and she felt “horrible” when she turned it in. [...]

When I was an assistant professor at Georgia State University in Atlanta, I used to teach Nazi theology. My students read sermons by Nazi theologians arguing that Jews were evil and were responsible for killing Jesus. They also read a book called “Theologians Under Hitler” by Robert P. Erickson, who tried to explain how and why Christian thinkers could come to believe that exterminating Jews was somehow Christ-like.

I am not a Nazi. I was not teaching Nazi theology as the truth. I was teaching it as propaganda, just like this Albany High School teacher was doing. My purpose was not to make my students sympathetic to Nazism. My purpose was to unsettle them. And to teach them something along the way.

I had two goals when teaching this material.

First, I wanted my students to realize that smart Christians with doctoral degrees supported the Holocaust. Second, I wanted them to grapple with the implications of this fact on their own religious commitments. Do Christians today have any responsibility to know this history and to try to make sure it doesn’t happen again? If so, how can they exercise that responsibility without coming to understand the contours of Nazi thought?

But instead of grappling with these questions, my students almost universally tried to side-step them. The Nazis were not Christians, they told me confidently, because Christians would never kill Jews just for being Jews. Case closed. Time to move on to more comfortable topics.

Sexual harrassment: Women scientists face abuse by their supervisors or having careers ruined

Scientific American   Another day, another story. Again I’m out of town to give a talk, and an acquaintance and I are borrowing someone’s office for a meeting. This person is eager to meet, bright and interesting and motivated to do her research. There is a shift in her research trajectory, and I ask about it. Without skipping a beat, she explains the systematic sexual harassment she experienced at her field site, and the ways in which her lack of complicity led to her not being welcome there. There were obvious ways in which her departure from this field site has hurt her career. I was struck by her furious, fiery expression. [...]

But we also wanted to know who perpetrated these acts. In academia, it is normal for there to be a hierarchy from undergraduate, to graduate student, to postdoc, faculty, and tenured faculty. And people above you in the hierarchy can have control over your success in your career. For both harassment and assault, we found most of the perpetrators were individuals superior in the hierarchy than the victims – so for instance, a faculty member harassing a graduate student. [...]

 We found that many victims identified themselves as “young,” “naïve,” or “green,” and also questioned or blamed themselves at some point during or after their harassment. Both victims and witnesses to abuse, harassment and assault described themselves as paralyzed or scared. Several female respondents described feeling targeted or under scrutiny due to their gender. And sadly, many respondents expressed frustration that issues of abuse, harassment and assault interfered with their work, expressing different refrains of “I just wanted to do my science!”

One male participant detailed systemic, institutional abuse that happened at his site, with too many graphic, potentially identifying stories to impart here. But again and again, he came back to the awful helplessness he felt at having to bear witness to constant attacks on his colleagues, and his understandable fear of the consequences:

“As a man who was ambitious at the time and didn’t know how to intervene, it was a weird place to be because these are my friends. We spent time in the field so you can’t build friendships anywhere else and I was unable to, or paralyzed for fear that my dissertation would be shut down. I relied on the site and access would be shut down, my career would have been shut down, if I was going to stand up to this guy.”

In fact, fear of retribution, and in some cases, stories of retribution for speaking up, were common among witnesses and victims.[...]

Too many of us, the authors of this study included, have told ourselves and others that we just need to “suck it up,” just endure one more day, to keep our heads down and power through. Survival in field-based academic science can’t just be about who can put up with or witness abuse the longest – that is not an appropriate metric to measure who is the best at their science [...]

Female teacher admits sexual abusing 7th grade girl for years

YNet    The Haifa Magistrates' Court approved on Sunday a plea bargain in the case of a teacher from north Israel who confessed and was convicted of committing indecent acts against a female student and attempting to sexually assault her. The prosecution intends to demand a prison sentence for the teacher.

According to the original indictment, filed in February 2012, the teenage student told her relatives the teacher had committed sex offences against her for a number of years. The relatives convinced the student to file a police complaint, after which the teacher was arrested. However, she was released shortly thereafter and continued working as a teacher.

he Haifa Magistrates' Court approved on Sunday a plea bargain in the case of a teacher from north Israel who confessed and was convicted of committing indecent acts against a female student and attempting to sexually assault her. The prosecution intends to demand a prison sentence for the teacher.[...]

According to the original indictment, filed in February 2012, the teenage student told her relatives the teacher had committed sex offences against her for a number of years. The relatives convinced the student to file a police complaint, after which the teacher was arrested. However, she was released shortly thereafter and continued working as a teacher.  [...]

Attorney Tami Olman, who is representing the student's family, said "No one believed the father. Who could imagine that a teacher would do such terrible things to a student in the seventh grade?"

Rabbi Michael Broyde's bizarre alter ego Herschel Goldwasser

TJC Update, 1:00 PM: Broyde has written a letter admitting to having created the character, and apologizing for it.]  A leading Orthodox rabbi and esteemed law professor appears to have created a fake professional identity which he used to gain access to members-only correspondence of a rival rabbinic group and tout his own work. The fake identity may also have been used to submit letters to scholarly journals.

Rabbi Michael Broyde is well-known in both the fields of Jewish scholarship and law, and according to veteran British Jewish news reporter Miriam Shaviv, he was also on the shortlist of candidates being considered for chief rabbi of England in recent months, in an article saying that the chancellor of Yeshiva University had called him “the finest mind of his generation.” He is a rabbinical court judge, or dayan, on the largest rabbinical court in the United States, the Beth Din of America. Broyde is also a law professor at the U.S. News & World Report 23rd-ranked law school in the country at Emory University, where he is also Senior Fellow at the Center for the Study of Law and Religion. His Emory biography declares that he “has published more than 75 articles and book chapters on various aspects of law and religion and Jewish law,” including in the Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy and the Emory Law Journal. The author or editor of several books, he is a prominent figure in rabbinic circles, where his detailed arguments and strong opinions regarding matters of practice and communal standards have produced alliances and opposition. He was also the founding rabbi of the Young Israel of Toco Hills, in Atlanta, Georgia.

Rabbi Hershel Goldwasser has been published in multiple scholarly journals and been a part of numerous online dialogues with other Orthodox rabbis. But Goldwasser does not appear to be a real person. In examining voter registration records, contacting rabbis in areas where he was said to have lived, and in research by yeshiva archivists, no record of his existence has been found over the course of The Jewish Channel’s investigation. Yet the Goldwasser character’s name and e-mail address have been used to publish correspondence that frequently touts Broyde’s work. The Goldwasser character has generated correspondence over nearly 20 years. Going back to the early 1990s, the Goldwasser character has published letters in such well-regarded journals of Jewish thought as Tradition and Conservative Judaism.[...]

Jordanian Parliament demands release of "hero" who killed 7 Jewish girls

YNet  An overwhelming 110 members of the Jordanian House of Representatives signed a petition demanding a pardon for a Jordanian soldier who shot and killed seven Israeli schoolgirls in 1997.

Ahmad Musa Mustafa Daqamseh shot the girls during a school fieldtrip in Naharayim, near the Israel-Jordan border, and is currently serving a life sentence.

Hussein Mjali, Jordan's former justice minister, previously referred to the imprisoned soldier as a "hero," and added that "if a Jew killed Arabs they would have built a monument in his honor."

Satmar: IDF draft worse than annihilation

YNet   Satmar Rebbe Aaron Teitelbaum this week lashed out at attempts to draft yeshiva students and advance an equal share of the burden in Israel, calling them "a decree worse than the annihilation of the Jewish people."

He went on to accuse the supporters of the move of being "worse than those who murdered us."  [...]

A black cloud is hanging these days over our brothers, the people of Israel living in the Holy Land," the rabbi said. "A malicious government has convened… and is seeking to uproot the Torah.

"Jews here don't understand the magnitude of this disaster, which applies to every single individual," he added, comparing the situation to the annihilation of the Jewish people.

"We, in the Diaspora, must be prepared for the moment when we will have to rise up with all our might against this terrible decree so that it is not executed, God forbid."

The radical ultra-Orthodox leaders appear to be sharpening their tone against the IDF draft recently. The other Satmar Rebbe, Rabbi Yekutiel Yehuda Teitelbaum, who visited Israel on the eve of the Knesset elections, stating that "the draft decree aims to make us forget all the other troubles Zionism has inflicted on us. We must fight it uncompromisingly so that such ideas won't even cross their minds."

He referred to the State of Israel and its Zionist residents as "the generation's Amalek," adding that "the Zionists came from the seed of Amalek. There has never been such a sect that caused so much damage to the Jewish people."

Special ed programs : Poor government supervision = Fraud, greed and incompetence

NY Times   But his success until then underscores how private contractors have taken advantage of this generously financed but poorly regulated segment of the special-education system, often called special ed pre-K, according to an investigation by The Times. 

At Mr. Park’s company, the costs to treat these 3- and 4-year-olds were enormous. The government routinely spent more than $50,000 in a single year on services for one child, according to an analysis of billing records. 

In all, that occurred 281 times from 2005 to 2012, the records show. 

The money went to Mr. Park’s company, Bilingual SEIT, and other providers of related services, including contractors that transported children to his schools. 

In the 2011-12 school year, Bilingual SEIT billed more than $17 million to the city and state, up from $725,000 it had billed a decade earlier.[...]

Yet The Times found that a network of contractors has arisen that routinely bill for questionable services. 

The Times’s investigation drew on interviews with more than 50 former workers at Mr. Park’s company, including teachers, therapists, administrators and clerks. Parents, city and state education officials, state auditors, and executives and workers at other contractors in the industry were also interviewed. 

Billing fraud appears to be common. Some contractors labeled overseas vacations and spa trips as business travel, or used corporate credit cards for jewelry or groceries. Others hired relatives for no-show jobs, or gave themselves exorbitant salaries and perks like fancy cars, even as they seldom showed up for work. One contractor put a grown son on the West Coast on the payroll, claiming he had opened a satellite office there. Another contractor lived out of state herself. 

The bar to entry was low. One preschool contractor had a previous career in Medicare fraud, federal records showed. Another was convicted of weapon possession and workers’ compensation fraud.

State and city education officials said The Times’s findings were troubling.[...]

Insensitivity to family: The Alter Rebbe admonished his son for being so engrossed in learning he didn't notice that his baby fell out of his cradle

In light of the discussion regarding Eiruvin (22a)  that a talmid chachom must be insensitive to his own needs and that  of his family - the following story raises questions. It is clear that the gemora in Eiruvin is not meant in an absolute sense. So what are the parameters? 

I would suggest that there is a constant obligation to be insensitive for the sake of Torah learning. However when a meis mitzva arises he must give up his learning until the mitzva is taken care of. In other words - Torah learning is the highest priority except in the face of a need which isn't being taken care of by others. Rashi says that one can be insensitive in providing food  - because G-d will provide. It would also following that if the wife or children can not accept living by bitachon - that this would also be a meis mitzva and the husband would have to give up his learning. However if the wife and kids can accept it - such as  the case of Rabbi Akiva's wife who accepted him leaving her for 24 years  - his obligation is to learn and not take care of his family.

Consequently the only reason the Alter Rebbe admonished his son - was that his son had accepted the responsiblity of watching the baby. It was a meis mitzva in regards to the son. Therefore doing anything other than the obligation to learn Torah is only a heter based on the immediate circumstances. Once the heter of meis mitzva goes away then the obligation of Torah learning is automatically reactivated

Chabad: Rebbe's Letters

By the Grace of G‑d
13 Kislev, 5723
[December 10, 1962]
Brooklyn, N.Y.

Greeting and Blessing:

I was pleased to receive the news of your forthcoming Dinner on the 20th of Kislev, the day after the historic Day of Liberation of the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Shneur Zalman, author of the Tanya and Shulchan Aruch and founder of Chabad.

It is both timely and meaningful to recall the following episode from his life and teachings:

The Alter Rebbe shared his house with his oldest married son, Rabbi Dov Ber (who later succeeded him as the Mitteler Rebbe). Rabbi Dov Ber was known for his unusual power of concentration. Once, when Rabbi Dov Ber was engrossed in learning, his baby, sleeping in its cradle nearby, fell out and began to cry. The infant’s father did not hear the baby’s cries. But the infant’s grandfather, the Alter Rebbe, also engrossed in his studies in his room on the upper floor at the time, most certainly did. He interrupted his studies, went downstairs, picked the baby up, soothed it and replaced it in its cradle. Through all this Rabbi Dov Ber remained quite oblivious.

Subsequently, the Alter Rebbe admonished his son: “No matter how engrossed one may be in the loftiest occupation, one must never remain insensitive to the cry of a child.”

This story has been transmitted to us from generation to generation; I heard it from my father-in-law of saintly memory. It was handed down because of the lasting message it conveys, one which is particularly pertinent to our time. It characterizes one of the basic tenets of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement—to hearken to the cry of our distressed Jewish children.

The “child” may be an infant in years, a Jewish boy or girl of school age, fallen from the “cradle” of Torah-true Jewish education, or it may be someone who is chronologically an adult yet an “infant” insofar as Jewish life is concerned, an infant in knowledge and experience of the Jewish religion, heritage and way of life.

The souls of these Jewish “children” cry out in anguish, for they live in a spiritual void, whether they are conscious of this or feel it only subconscaiously. Every Jew, no matter how preoccupied he may be with any lofty cause, must hear the cries of these Jewish children. Bringing these Jewish children back to their Jewish cradle has priority over all else.

Rav Sternbuch: Media reports of his "Mizrachi speech" are not accurate

Rav Sternbuch has been visiting Tzfas for a few days. Someone who just visited him told me that Rav Sternbuch was very upset with the media accounts of what he allegedly said at the recent Satmar dinner.  He claims that "many things were inserted by the reporter that he never said."

I hope to get greater clarification in the near future.

Two more cases of babies' herpes linked to metzizah

CNN   Editor's note: The content of this story may disturb some readers.

update 4/9/13 JPost is reporting that the initial report was incorrect and that only one additional baby - not two - has herpes.
update 4/10/13 I am not poskening. I am providing a forum for people to discuss issues. There seems to be two approaches here. There are those who are saying "you are a moron for endangering your child for a practice which has absolutely no religious significance." These people's major goals are showing 1) MP has not religious significance 2) It is dangerous 3) no intelligent person would do it.
=====================================================
update 4/16/13 U of Penn issues disclaimer and says study was misquoted
================================================
update 4/11/13  U of Penn study finds no increased danger for MP

Jewish leaders this week pointed to a recent independent study by Penn Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania that found little evidence to support the claim that a circumcision practice known as Metzitzah B'Peh (MBP) leads to an increased likelihood of herpes in infants.

 In a study published in December last year, University of Pennsylvania's Center for Evidence-based Practice reviewed several studies linking circumcision with oral suction, a common ritual for many Orthodox Jews, and herpes simplex virus (HSV) type 1. Though four published studies since 2000 suggested that such a link does exist, Penn doctors found the evidence to be "small and significantly limited."

The study was cited in an appeal filed Monday in the U.S. Second Circuit Court of Appeals challenging a New York City Department of Health (DOH) regulation that seeks to place limits on the practice.

  ==========================
My approach is to try to provide cognitive empathy. I want everyone to understand the basis of thought underlying the two sides. So while Doc-J has provided an excellent example of those who are convinced that only delusional nut cases would do MP - I wanted to explain that it is possible not to be stupid or irresponsible and do MP. I am not advocating or rejecting it.

Historically MP was disavowed to the degree to which it was shown to the poskim that it is dangerous. See Sheilas Dovid cited in the Sdei Chemed's kuntres on MP. Very little is accomplished by telling frum people who have a clear mesora for many generations in their family and communities that they are ignorant savages and are violating halacha. Once this need for defeating the opponent fades it is easier to have a discussion and find a solution..[see comments  for the rest]

New York (CNN) -- Two more infants have contracted the herpes virus after undergoing an ultra-Orthodox Jewish type of circumcision, which has been linked to the spread of the potentially deadly virus to newborn boys, according to the New York City Health Department.

In the ritual, known as metzitzah b'peh, after removing the foreskin of the penis the person performing the procedure places his mouth briefly over the wound, sucking a small amount of blood out, which is discarded. Antibacterial ointment is applied and the wound is bandaged. The health department says the procedure is dangerous because the contact with the mouth could transmit diseases such as herpes.

Most adults are infected with the herpes simplex virus type 1, and while they may have no symptoms, the virus may be present in their saliva, according to the health department. (It is different from herpes simplex virus type 2, which is usually transmitted sexually.)

"While HSV-1 in adults can cause the common cold sore, HSV-1 infection in newborns is very serious," a department statement says.[...]

Doheny meat scandal - a story of betrayal by those who were respected & trusted

This describes all the disturbing details regarding the recent meat scandal in Los Angels prior to the store being sold. The article clearly indicates that perhaps the greatest problem is the alleged betrayal of the community by someone who was highly respected and trusted for years as  well as the failure of the kashrus supervision to aggressively follow up on rumors of wrong doing.

Jewish Journal    On Thursday, March 7, at 6:10 a.m., a van and an SUV sit in adjacent parking spaces, in the lot of a McDonald’s near the junction of the 101 and the 405 freeways, their rear lift-gates open. 

Mike Engelman, the driver of the SUV, with the help of the driver of the van, loads something into the back of the SUV. Then Engelman, who owns Doheny Glatt Kosher Meat Market, one of Los Angeles’ largest distributors of kosher animal products, drives off, headed to Pico-Robertson to open his shop. 

Almost exactly one hour later, in the parking lot behind Doheny Meats, the mashgiach (rabbinic overseer) from the Rabbinical Council of California (RCC), who had unlocked the doors to the store and the distribution center just 10 minutes earlier, is nowhere in sight.  Engelman signals to an employee to unload the SUV. The employee takes out eight boxes, hundreds of pounds of unidentified meat or poultry, and wheels them into the store through its rear door.

This entire sequence was captured on video by a private investigator, and on Sunday afternoon, March 24, Rabbi Meyer H. May, president of the RCC, watched the video in horror. What he saw wasn’t just Engelman undermining the supervision of his agency; he also saw the rabbinic supervisor, who is never supposed to leave the premises, break with RCC protocol. [...]

The once-beloved butcher

Mike Engelman used to be known as the butcher with the highest-quality kosher meat and poultry in Pico-Robertson. His store is located within a 10-minute walk of four major kosher markets, and Doheny Meats serves as both a supplier and a stand-alone shop that carries animal products — including rare meats like bison and elk — and little else. The  employees’ white hats and aprons, the sparkling white display case, the thick white paper in which cuts of meat are wrapped — the entire shopping experience there feels like a throwback to a time when most people knew their butchers by name.

Which is what it was: Doheny has been around for more than 50 years, and Engelman made good service a selling point. Whole chickens bought from Doheny, for instance, were passed through an open flame to singe any stray feathers off of the skin. Doheny delivered its products locally, but also drew customers from other cities. At one point in the early 1990s, Doheny was making monthly deliveries to a synagogue in the South Bay and, according to the store’s Web site, which, as of April 1, had been taken down, Doheny had scheduled a delivery to a buying club in San Diego in March and was set to make similar shipments to the San Francisco Bay Area as well.

It was Engelman’s success on the distribution side — selling to caterers, markets, restaurants and hotels, including luxury venues like the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, which made up the majority of the volume of his business — that raised suspicions. [...]

Rabbinical courts can lock up husbands indefinitely

Times of Israel   In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled that husbands who refuse to grant a bill of divorce to their wives can be imprisoned for indefinite periods. A case that has been ongoing for 12 years brought about the ruling, which challenged a law that had only allowed for recalcitrant spouses to be slapped with up to 10 years behind bars.

 

The case in question involves a couple with four children who began divorce proceedings in 1995 after the woman alleged physical abuse. In 2000 the local rabbinical court handling the file ordered the husband to immediately grant his wife a Jewish bill of divorce, or get.

According to Jewish law, a woman who is refused a get by her husband is considered an aguna, a chained woman, and is forbidden to remarry.

When the man refused, he was arrested and imprisoned for 10 years, the maximum sentence allowed by the Law of Sanctions, which grants rabbinic courts the authority to apply pressure and impose punitive measures on recalcitrant husbands. Among other things, the court can revoke an offender’s driver’s license and passports, and even jail him, until he acquiesces.[...]

update - Rav Shlomo Dichovsky discusses the issue of get me'usa and various types of pressure [click link for full article]

גט מעושה

בעיית גט מעושה מתעוררת לפני שלב סידור הגט – בדיון על עצם ההסכמה לתת או לקבל גט. כששני הצדדים מסכימים, אין בכך שום בעייה; למרות שיש בתי דין המנסים גם במקרים כאלה לשלוח את הצדדים לשלום בית. לדעתי מדובר ב'ברכה לבטלה', בהקשר זה אני נוהג לומר ש'שלום בית עושים בבית', ולא בבית הדין!

כשאחד הצדדים מסרב לסידור הגט, והמקרה המצוי הוא שהאשה מבקשת להתגרש ובעלה מסרב, אז מתעוררת הבעייה. כאן יש מדרגות שונות בפסיקת הדין:

האפשרות הנמוכה ביותר היא דחיית התביעה לגירושין. כשבית דין פוסק כך, הוא למעשה קובע שהצדדים ימשיכו להתדיין בינם לבין עצמם, עד שאחד מהם יוותר.

כשבית הדין מחליט שעל הבעל לגרש את אשתו, לפעמים המסקנה היא שאי אפשר לחייב גט, ואז רק 'ממליצים לתת גט'. ברור שמדובר בפסק כמעט חסר שיניים לחלוטין, שכן מה תקפה של המלצה זו? רבים מעדיפים לא לקבל את ההמלצה, ולהשאר בסרבנותם העיקשת.

הדרגה הבאה היא 'חיוב גט' – פה מדובר בפסק בעל שיניים, יש לו משמעות כלכלית, למשל לגבי חיוב מזונות או צווי הגבלה.

הדרגה החמורה ביותר היא 'כפיית גט'. בעבר היו 'כופין בשוטים', בימינו רק מכניסים למאסר (ואולי חבל שכן). עד שמגיעים לשלב זה שני הצדדים כבר מרוטים, סחוטים ומותשים; ובית הדין נוקט בצעד החריף ביותר שברשותו, כדי לשבור את עקשנותו וקשי ערפו של הסרבן, בתקווה שהמאסר יועיל.

ברוב המקרים לא מגיעים לדרגה האחרונה, אלא נשארים באמצע.

השו"ע )אבה"ע קנ"ד כא) הביא את מחלוקת הראשונים, אם ניתן לכפות גט במקומות בהם הגמרא לא כתבה בפירוש שכופים, אלא רק 'יוציא'. הרמ"א מסיק, שמאחר ויש מחלוקת בין רבותינו, אין לכפות בשוטים, אך ניתן לגזור על הציבור שלא ישאו ויתנו עמו. כלומר – כפייה עקיפה מותרת, מדובר במניעה של החברה לסייע לאותו עברין, ולא בפגיעה ישירה בו.

הלכה זו הייתה במשך שנים רבות ללא יישום מעשי, שכן איך נוכל לגזור על כל הציבור, וגם אם נגזור – מי ישמע לנו? אך בחמש-עשרה השנים האחרונות המצב השתנה, שכן נחקק החוק ליישום פסקי דין רבניים, הקובע סנקציות רבות כנגד סרבני גט, ברוח הכפייה העקיפה שהרמ"א התיר: חסימת חשבון בנק, שלילת רישיון נהיגה, או שלילת רישיון עסק (למי שצריך רישיון כדי לעבוד, כגון רופאים, עורכי דין, וכדומה). באופן זה ניתן, לכאורה, לכפות גט בלי לחשוש לגט מעושה, כשהוחלט שהבעל חייב לתת גט לאשתו.

אלא שברבים מהמקרים הגבלות אלו לא יעילות: יש אנשים שלא מחזיקים חשבון בנק, או שמנהלים את ענייניהם הכספיים על-ידי אדם אחר; על-פי-רוב נהגים הנוהגים ללא רישיון נהיגה (מכל סיבה שהיא) לא נתפסים; ברוב המקצועות אין צורך ברישיון עסק; וממילא אין בהגבלות אלו כדי להכריחו לגרש.

בעייה נוספת, הקיימת ברבים מתיקי הגירושין, היא בעיית 'מאיס עלי'. מדובר בסוגייה שלמה בהלכה, השייכת בכל מקרה בו הצד התובע גט הגיע למסקנה שאינו מסוגל לחיות יותר עם השני, ללא בעייה אובייקטיבית שניתן לשים עליה את האצבע. בנושא זה קיימת מחלוקת בראשונים – הרמב"ם (אישות י"ד ח) פסק שכופים את הבעל להוציא אם האשה מאסה בו, שכן 'אינה כשבויה שתיבעל לשנוי לה'; אך רוב הראשונים דחו דין זה על הסף, וכדברי המגיד-משנה שם:

"וכל מי שראיתי דבריו כתב שבדין הגמרא אין כופין את האיש להוציא, אף באומרת מאיס עלי; ועל זה הרבו בראיות ברורות, וקראו תגר על כל הנוטה מדבריהם, והם סבורים שאפילו נישאת בגט שנתן מחמת כפייה זו – תצא. וכבר פשטה הוראה הזו בכל ארצותינו...".

ואכן, הן לשו"ע והן לרמ"א, אין לכפות על טענת 'מאיס עלי', אלא רק על המקרים המפורשים בגמרא (מומים, ניאוף וכד'). ברוב המקרים היום, הטענה היא בדיוק זו – הצד התובע חש מאיסה נפשית, בחילה נפשית וכדומה. לכאורה מדובר במקרים ללא פתרון, כיוון שכאמור אי אפשר לכפות באופן ישיר, וגם הכפייה העקיפה לא יעילה ברבים מהמקרים. הצדדים ממשיכים להתכתש, בבחינת 'ירעו עד שיסתאבו'.

כאן ניסיתי להוביל מהלך של 'כפייה ללא כפייה'. פרסמתי את דברי ב'תחומין' ט"ו, תחת הכותרת 'מידתיות בכפיית גט'.

טענתי התבססה על דעות באחרונים, שאונס ממון לא נחשב אונס גמור, וברגע שאדם מוכן לגרש את אשתו כדי להיפטר מתשלומים, מסתבר שאכן הקשר ביניהם רופף ונפשו לא קשורה בנפשה. הרב הרצוג התייחס למקרה זה, כשישב כדיין בבית הדין הגבוה לערעורים, ודייק מהרמ"א שאונס ממון לא נחשב אונס. גם הסברה מובאת בדבריו (ב'היכל יצחק'), שכמו שאדם עשיר יעדיף לשלם סכום סמלי ולא לגרש את אשתו, כך גם כל אדם; 'גט מעושה' שייך דווקא בפגיעה שאי-אפשר לסבלה, כמו ייסורי גוף או עונש ממוני כבד ש'מהרס אותו' וממוטט אותו לגמרי.

מכאן שקנס שלא ממוטט את הבעל – אף אם מדובר בסכומים גבוהים דיים – לא נחשב כאונס לגבי כתיבת גט, והגט אינו מעושה!

דברים דומים מצאתי ב'תורת גיטין' (קל"ד ד) וכן ב'אגרות-משה', לגבי אדם שהסכים לגרש על דעת שיתן סכום מסויים, ולבסוף הצריכוהו הערכאות לשלם יותר. הגדיל לעשות ה'צמח צדק' בתשובתו, שאפילו אם יש הפרש עצום בסכום המדובר, אין בכך כדי להפוך את נתינת הגט לנתינה פגומה ('קט"ו לעומת תקט"ו לא מחשיב אונס'). אדם שאוהב את אשתו וחפץ בה, יסכים אף לקבל מספר סתירות לחי (או קנס) ולא לגרשה. לגבי אדם שמוכן לגרש את אשתו כדי להימנע מקנס כזה (במידה ולא מדובר בהקרבה עצומה, זה לא קנס שהורס אותו!), מסתבר לומר שממילא לא חפץ באשתו ונכון לגרשה מרצונו.

ניתן לצעוד אף צעד נוסף – הרב ישראלי, ב'עמוד הימיני', טען שבימינו מאסר הוא רק הגבלת חופש התנועה ולא הרבה מעבר לכך. אמנם, ברור שלא מדובר בחוויה נעימה, אך גם ברור שלא מדובר בסכנת חיים כבעבר (ואפשר שאכן היוצא מבית האסורים כיום, פטור מברכת הגומל). כשם שברגע שנפתח תיק גירושין מוגבלת יכולת היציאה מהארץ של שני הצדדים, כך גם מאסר (לזמן מוגבל!) יכול להחשב להגבלה גרידא. לכן לדעתי ניתן להציע לסרבן לא רק קנס, אלא גם עונש מאסר לשלושים יום, ובכך ייבחן: אם חפץ באשתו באמת ובתמים, יסכים לקבל על עצמו מגבלה זו; ואם הוא מוכן לגרשה על-מנת להימנע מישיבת בית הסוהר, כנראה שמלכתחילה רצונו היה לגרשה, וסירב רק כי רצה לצערה או לסחוט ממנה סכומים אלו או אחרים.

דברי אלו עוררו התנגדות אצל חברי. כשהרציתי את הדברים בכנס לאחרונה, ניגש אלי דיין צעיר ואמר לי שלדעתו כל הנחת היסוד שלי שגויה – ברבים מן הבתים, כך טען, מלכתחילה לא קיימת תחושת דבקות חזקה בין האיש והאשה, וממילא כל צער קטן יכול להחשב כאונס גמור! במקום תגובה, סיפרתי את דבריו לאשתו; הנחתי שהיא כבר תסגור איתו את החשבון...

Chief Rabbi of France under attack for plagiarism & deception

JPost   Gilles Bernheim, the grand rabbi of France, refused to quit on Tuesday despite admitting to several counts of plagiarism and to deception about his academic credentials.

The revelations have shocked France's 600,000-strong Jewish community and he has come under pressure to quit, but Bernheim said that resigning would be a "desertion" as he came clean on one of the faithful's main radio stations in the country.

Gilles Bernheim, the grand rabbi of France, refused to quit on Tuesday despite admitting to several counts of plagiarism and to deception about his academic credentials.

The revelations have shocked France's 600,000-strong Jewish community and he has come under pressure to quit, but Bernheim said that resigning would be a "desertion" as he came clean on one of the faithful's main radio stations in the country. 

"It would be an act of pride and against the collegial structure that presides over decisions. I assume my functions fully," Bernheim, 60, a modern Orthodox Jew who was elected grand rabbi in 2008, told Radio Shalom.[...]

Bernheim's troubles began last month when a blogger accused him of copying a 1996 text by the late French post-modernist philosopher Jean-Francois Lyotard to use in his 2011 book Forty Jewish Meditations.[...]

Last week, another blogger accused Bernheim of plagiarism in a 2002 book and L'Express magazine revealed he had not earned the prestigious rank of philosophy professor that was often attached to his name.[...]