Lech Lecha; Milah & Periah- What are they? & How should they be done?

 Caution - some might find the video too graphic. A number of years ago a friend of mine was teaching mila in a yeshiva for baalei teshuva (i.e., they all had college backgrounds). One day the rosh yeshiva came to him and told him he had gotten complaints about his teaching because of number of the students complained about it being too graphic. When he asked what exactly was the problem since this was a class about mila - the rosh yeshiva said "You use the word penis".

 by Rabbi Shlomo Pollak

The Subject is...

"To perform the Mitzvah of Milah, we have to do two parts, Milah & Periah (מילה ופריעה).

What is Milah? and what is Periah?  How should it be done?...

For generations,  the two were done in two separate steps...

A number of years ago, a new method  was introduced, whereby both the Milah and Periah are done simultaneously.."

Mamzer: Maharsham's solution of annuling the proxy by Rabbi J. David Bleich

  The following is an excerpt from an article which appeared in Tradition. Go to the Tradition website to read the full article.  Tradition

Rabbinic authorities have always  sought ways and means of alleviating the plight of unfortunate individuals stigmatized by mamzerut in order to permit such individuals to marry within "the community of God." Their efforts consisted of examining the loopholes which would have the effect of removing the onus of bastardy. Perhaps the most famous of these proposed remedies is a tentative suggestion advanced by Rabbi Shalom Mordecai Schwadron in his Teshuvot Maharsham, I, no. 9.

The Mishnah, Gittin 32a, states that in former times a husband could appoint a proxy to deliver a bil of divorce to his wife and yet retain the prerogative of annuling the proxy and thereby invalidating the divorce. Originally the husband was not required to inform the proxy of his change of heart. This practice was later banned by Rabban  Rabban Gamaliel the Elder in order to promote "the better ordering of society" (tikkun ha-olam). In defining the concept of tikkun haolam, R. Yochanan maintained that the measure was designed to prevent the proliferation of mamzerim. A messenger, unaware of the fact that his authority to deliver the bill of divorce had been nullfied, might in good faith present the bil of divorce to the woman in question. The woman, equally unaware that the proxy had been annulled and her divorce nullifed would feel free to remarry. Under such circumstances any issue of a subsequent union would be momzerim in the eyes of Jewish law.

R. Yochanan states that it was to prevent such unfortunate occurrences that Rabban Gamaliel forbade annulment of the proxy other than in the presence of the messenger. In the event that the husband transgresses the injunction of Rabban Gamaliel and annuls the proxy other than in the presence of the messenger, R. Simeon b. Gamaliel ordained that the act of annulment itself be null and void so that the bil of divorce may retain its validity. In discussing Rabban Gamaliel's decree the Gemara raises an obvious objection. It is axiomatic that a bil of divorce which is invalid according to Biblical law cannot be validated by rabbinic decree. In response to this objection the Gemara enunciates the well known dictum: "Everyone who betroths (a wife J does so in accordance with the intention of the Sages, and they annulled his betrothal."

The import of this statement is that while the Sages have no power to validate a bil of divorce which is not valid under biblical law they do have the power to annul the marriage itself retroactively. Since they do not acquiesce to the marriage under such circumstances the stipulated condition has not been fulfilled and the marriage itself is null and void. The status of the woman in these circumstances is not that of a divorcee but that of a single woman who had been consorting with a male without benefit of a nuptial ceremony.

Accordingly, as a result of Rabban Gamaliel's decree, annulment of a proxy other than in the presence of the messenger and sub. sequent delivery of the get to the wife become the occasion for the retroactive annulment of the marriage. Tosafot points out that Rabban Gamaliel's decree could be utilied in furthering certain ends which Rabban Gamaliel would certainly not have sought to promote. By invoking this decree acts of adultery could be legitimized with the cooperation of the husband and both the adulterer and the adultress might be enabled to escape punishment.

This could be effected by having the husband draw up a bil of divorce, appoint a proxy to deliver it to his wife and subsequently annul the proxy other than in the presence of his messenger. The resultant effect would be annulment of the marriage ab initio which would then mean that subsequent intercourse with another male was in the nature of fornication rather  than adultery. Ri, cited by Tosafot, maintains that this procedure is perfectly legal.

Maharsham, quoting Tosafot, points out that a mamzer could also be legitimized retroactively in precisely the same manner. If the husband is yet living and willng to cooperate he could simply appoint a proxy to deliver a bil of divorce to his wife and then proceed to annul the proxy other than is the presence of the messenger. Since the marriage is annulled retroactively the liaison between his wife and another man does not constitute adultery and hence the issue of that union are not mamzerim.

The innovative suggestion of Maharsham has been the subject of several recent articles of note. The proposal was brought to the atten. tion of readers of TRADITION by Rabbi Dr. Louis Rabinowitz, Spring 1971, pp. 5.15. Moriah (Elul 5730-Tishri 5731) featured an article by Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, eminent Israeli halakhic authority, containing a lengthy and exhaustive analysis of Maharsham's position. In Panim el Panim of Shevat 2 and I Adar 13, 5733 the Israeli sèholar and jurist Professor M. Silberg discusses practical proposals to eliminate inci. dences of mamzerut. Professor Silberg's views are challenged by Rabbi Judah Dick (Panim el Panim, I Adar 13, 5733), a New York at. torney and Talmudic scholar who has espoused the cause of the agunah both in legal proceedings before civil courts and . in a determined effort to find halakhic redress for her unfortunate plight. 

Maharsham's language, "Had you consulted me before the bil of divorce was executed by the first husband I would have made a suggestion le-halakhah vo-lo le-ma'Qseh (according to theoretical halakhah but not for practical application)" clearly indicates that Maharsham viewed his innovative proposal as relegated to the realm of theory and not for actual implementation. Maharsham's use of the subjunctive phrase "had you consulted me" demonstrates that his answer even at that time would not have been intended for practical application. Rabbi Auerbach presents numerous reasons, many highly technical, in explaining why practical implementation of this proposal is precluded. The most salient of these considerations are the following:

1. The major argument against implementation of Maharsham's proposal is that Ramban, Shita Mekubetzet and Me'iri, in their commentaries on Ketubot 3a state , clearly that any children born of an adultrous relationship prior to the retroactive annulment of the marriage are mamzerim by virtue of rabbinic decree. According to these authorities the rabbinic decree providing for annulment of the marriage was accompanied by a de. cree declaring such issue to be legitimate precisely because the Sages did not want the decree regarding retroactive annulment of the marriage to serve as a tool in the hands of evildoers. This opinion is followed by many latter-day authorities. (See Ketab Sofer, Even ha- Ezer, no. 51; Oneg Yom Tov, no. 169; and R. Shlomo Kluger,H a- Elef Lekha Shlomo, Even ha-Ezer, no. 34. Pitchei T eshuvah, Even ha- Ezer 144: 1 also cites Berit Avra. ham, Even ha-Ezer, no. 49, sec. 5. See also Rashba, Ketubot 3a and Isaac Elchanan Spektor, Ein Yitzchak, I, Orach Chaim, no. 28, sec. 23.) Oneg Yom Tov states explicitly that "It is for this reason that this solution is not mentioned by any authority."

2. Retroactive annulment of the marriage renders all preceding acts of coitus acts of fornication. An individual is not permitted retroactively to transform his actions into transgressions and certainly should not be advised to do so and abetted in such a course of action by a B-it Din.

3. It is not certain that when the husband is counseled by a Bet Din to annul the proxy the marriage itself is in fact annulled retroactively. The phraseology employed by the Gemara in explaining why such annulment was legislated is "He acted with impropriety. . . ." When acting upon the advice of a B.-it Din the husband can hardly be said to have acted with impropriety and hence there are no grounds for annullng the marriage.

4. A number of early authorities, including Ramban, Re'ah and Rashba, maintain that in point of fact the original marriage is never annulled. According to this interpretation, the husband, cognizant of the statutory provision for such annulment, recognizes that annulment of the proxy is of no avail and hence never actually intends to annul the proxy. P'nei Yehoshu'a, Ketubot 3a, offers a different interpretation in agreement with the basic premise that in actuality no annulment takes place. Both Dr. Rabinowitz and Professor Silberg assert that the late Chief Rabbi Herzog did in fact invoke Maharsham's proposal in practice. Rabbi Herzog does indeed discuss Maharsham's responsum in his Heikhal Yitzchak, II, nos. 17- 19. However, Rabbi Herzog's ruling in the specific case brought to his attention was based on different grounds. As is is often the case in halakhic responsa, considerations which are themselves insuffcient to warrant the conclusion advanced are adduced as a usnit" or secondary line of reasoning in order to strengthen the ultimate decision.

Rabbi Auerbach reports that dayyanim in Israel have on numerous occasions refrained from following Maharsham's suggestion precisely because the latter stated explicitly that his words were not intended for practical implementation. Apart from halakhic objections which have been advanced, the proposal as formulated by Maharsham suffers from one practical drawback, viz., it requires the active cooperation of the original husband. Needless to say the cooperation of an estranged husband is often difficult to obtain. [...]

Why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation of children

Washington Post

Julie Lythcott-Haims noticed a disturbing trend during her decade as a dean of freshmen at Stanford University. Incoming students were brilliant and accomplished and virtually flawless, on paper. But with each year, more of them seemed incapable of taking care of themselves.

At the same time, parents were becoming more and more involved in their children’s lives. They talked to their children multiple times a day and swooped in to personally intervene whenever something difficult happened.

From her former position at one of the world’s most prestigious schools, ­Lythcott-Haims came to believe that mothers and fathers in affluent communities have been hobbling their children by trying so hard to make sure they succeed and by working so diligently to protect them from disappointment, failure and hardship.

Such “overhelping” might assist children in developing impressive résumés for college admission, but it also robs them of the chance to learn who they are, what they love and how to navigate the world, Lythcott-Haims argues in her book, “How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.”

“We want so badly to help them by shepherding them from milestone to milestone and by shielding them from failure and pain. But overhelping causes harm,” she writes. “It can leave young adults without the strengths of skill, will and character that are needed to know themselves and to craft a life.” [...]

“Our job as a parent is to put ourselves out of a job,” she said. “We need to know that our children have the wherewithal to get up in the morning and take care of themselves.” [...]

Israeli suspects in court for Eritrean beating

Chronicle

Israeli police say four men will appear in court in connection with the beating of an Eritrean man during an attack by an Arab citizen at a bus station that killed an Israeli soldier and wounded several people.

A private security guard shot the Eritrean, thinking he was an attacker. As the Eritrean lay on the ground, a mob of people cursed him, kicked him and hit him with objects. The Eritrean later died.

Rosenfeld says it is not clear if the men will be charged.

============================

Haaretz

Some 2,000 people, mainly asylum seekers from Eritrea, gathered in Tel Aviv’s Levinsky park on Wednesday for a memorial service for Habtom Zarhum, the Eritrean asylum seeker who died after being shot and assaulted by a mob at the Be’er Sheva bus terminal on Sunday night. [...]

Some of the mourners wept and told Haaretz they did not believe Zarhum was killed accidentally. “I’ve never seen such a thing, only in the Sinai or in the Islamic State,” said Eden, an asylum seeker from Eritrea, referring to the video clips of Zarhum’s killing. “If they had shot him once it might have been a mistake, but shooting him again and again is not a mistake. People trampled on him and threw things at him. The police were there. Why didn’t they stop it?” she said. [...]

 

Mamzerim: When a woman remarries without a Get from the first husband - Rav Sternbuch

 Rabbi Dovid Katz wrote an important article dealing with attempts to deal with the problem of mamzer by using a shifcha. It is available here www.aishdas.org/avodah/faxes/mamzerShifcha.pdf.     This is page 13 and 30 of the article

==============================================

 Minchat Yitzchak: V 47: In the aftermath of the Holocaust, many displaced persons were unaware of the fate of their spouses and loved ones. Families had become separated, and in the period immediately following the end of World War II, there were cases where survivors believed that their families had perished when in reality they had survived. It thus happened a number of times that a woman, believing herself to be a widow, married another man after the war, had children by him, and subsequently discovered to her horror that her first husband had never died! The chaotic conditions prevailing in those years, especially in the DP camps and Eastern Europe, led many people to marry without consulting a rav or Bet Din, so many people were not even aware of the ramifications of their status.

R. Yitzchak Weiss, author of Minchat Yirzchak, was consulted about such a case. R. Tzvi Elimelech Kalish, Rabbi in Munkatch and subsequently in Bnei Brak, was faced with the situation of an entire group of young men who were the children of mothers who had remarried after the war, only to find out later that their first husbands were still alive. As the offspring of second "marriages" which in the eyes of Jewish law were adulterous, these young men were mamzerim. Two decades after the war, these young men, who had grown up in Hungary, wished to marry. R. Kalish therefore asked whether it was actually possible to convert gentile woman as shefachot kna'aniyot in the twentieth century.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Teshuvot Vehanhagot I  764, R. Moshe Sternbuch describes how he was faced with a situation in South Africa of a woman who had had an Orthodox marriage, but had remarried without benefit of a get, a halachic divorce. Her husband had been relucant to give her a get, so she remarried in a Reform ceremony. Obviously, the children from her "second marriage" were mamzerim because in the eyes of Jewish law she was still married to her first husband at the time she had children by another man. Some years later, the woman became a ba'alat teshuva (repentant), sought and obtained a get from her first husband, and even sent her children to Orthodox day schools. She was nevertheless faced with the consequences of her second marriage: her children were mamzerim .

In seeking a solution to this tragedy, R. Sternbuch likewise reasoned that it ought to be possible for a gentile woman to become a shifcho even in modern-day South Africa inasmuch as the entire process would be a legal fiction to which the state would not take exception. In the end, however, R. Sternbuch concluded that if such great authorities as the Minchat Yitzchak and Chelkat Yaakov were unable to sanction such a procedure, in the one case on account of halachic objections and in the other on account of a reluctance to rule absent support from other poskim, then such an option was not practicable nowadays. R. Sternbuch had no choice but to advise the mamzerim to marry converts, knowing, however, that their children would also be mamzerim down to the end of time. As he put it: 

ועל כל פנים אין לנו לפרוץ גדרים בייחוס שלא שמענו מאביתינו כן מעולם אף שהיה יכול להציל פסול זרעו לעולם

In any event, we ought not to "break fences" [i.e. make radical innovations] in matters involving family relations. We have never heard of our ancestors [resorting to such a procedure] even though [the mamzer] would be able to save his progeny [from the taint of mamzerut] forever.

Talk Therapy Found to Ease Schizophrenia

NY Times  More than two million people in the United States have a diagnosis of schizophrenia, and the treatment for most of them mainly involves strong doses of antipsychotic drugs that blunt hallucinations and delusions but can come with unbearable side effects, like severe weight gain or debilitating tremors.

Now, results of a landmark government-funded study call that approach into question. The findings, from by far the most rigorous trial to date conducted in the United States, concluded that schizophrenia patients who received smaller doses of antipsychotic medication and a bigger emphasis on one-on-one talk therapy and family support made greater strides in recovery over the first two years of treatment than patients who got the usual drug-focused care.

The report, to be published on Tuesday in The American Journal of Psychiatry and funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, comes as Congress debates mental health reform and as interest in the effectiveness of treatments grows amid a debate over the possible role of mental illness in mass shootings.

Its findings have already trickled out to government agencies: On Friday, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services published in its influential guidelines a strong endorsement of the combined-therapy approach. Mental health reform bills now being circulated in Congress “mention the study by name,” said Dr. Robert K. Heinssen, the director of services and intervention research at the centers, who oversaw the research.[...]

Experts said the findings could help set a new standard of care in an area of medicine that many consider woefully inadequate: the management of so-called first episode psychosis, that first break with reality in which patients (usually people in their late teens or early 20s) become afraid and deeply suspicious. The sooner people started the combined treatment after that first episode, the better they did, the study found. The average time between the first episode and receiving medical care — for those who do get it — is currently about a year and half.[...]

The more holistic approach that the study tested is based in part on programs in Australia, Scandinavia and elsewhere that have improved patients’ lives in those countries for decades. This study is the first test of the approach in this country — in the “real world” as researchers described it, meaning delivered through the existing infrastructure, by community mental health centers.[...]

In the new study, doctors used the medications as part of a package of treatments and worked to keep the doses as low as possible — in some cases 50 percent lower — minimizing their bad effects. The sprawling research team, led by Dr. John M. Kane, chairman of the psychiatry department at Hofstra North Shore-LIJ School of Medicine, randomly assigned 34 community care clinics in 21 states to provide either treatment as usual, or the combined package.

The team trained staff members at the selected clinics to deliver that package, and it included three elements in addition to the medication. First, help with work or school such as assistance in deciding which classes or opportunities are most appropriate, given a person’s symptoms. Second, education for family members to increase their understanding of the disorder. And finally, one-on-one talk therapy in which the person with the diagnosis learns tools to build social relationships, reduce substance use and help manage the symptoms, which include mood problems as well as hallucinations and delusions.

For example, some patients can learn to defuse the voices in their head — depending on the severity of the episode — by ignoring them or talking back. The team recruited 404 people with first-episode psychosis, mostly diagnosed in their late teens or 20s. About half got the combined approach and half received treatment as usual. Clinicians monitored both groups using standardized checklists that rate symptom severity and quality of life, like whether a person is working, and how well he or she is getting along with family members.

The group that started on the combined treatment scored, on average, more poorly on both measures at the beginning of the trial. Over two years, both groups showed steady improvement. But by the end, those who had been in the combined program had more symptom relief, and were functioning better as well. They had also been on drug doses that were 20 percent to 50 percent lower, Dr. Kane said.[...]

Public Notice from Ami Magazine regarding a forged letter

Mother of three battling MS takes own life at Dignitas assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland

Manchester Evening News

A mother of three from Bury who battled a debilitating illness for nearly two decades has ended her life at an assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland.

Rachelle Linz, 50, known as Shelley, fought with multiple sclerosis for nearly 20 years. She died after taking a fatal dose of barbiturate at a Dignitas clinic in Zurich two weeks ago.

She leaves behind husband Jonathan and three children - Joshua, 24, Hannah, 22, and Jason, 20. All four were by her side when she passed away.

Mr Linz, 51, from Whitefield, who was by his wife’s bedside said the family had always hoped a miracle cure for MS could be found, but his wife had feared she would ultimately die from the condition and made the decision after her health badly deteriorated.[...]

Poll: Should Tamar Epstein's heter and poskim be revealed or kept secret?

I put a poll in the sidebar concerning the issue of the secrecy of the nature of Tamar Epstein's heter and the identify of the poskim behind it.

It is important to take part to convey a message as to how the public - as opposed to bloggers - view the matter.

So far there is considerably less then 100 votes. There are thousands of people who view this blog. Please make the effort to vote. It is totally anonymous - and if you change your mind you can change your vote.

The results so far clearly indicate - as Rav Nota Greenblatt himself has paskoned - secret heterim and secret poskim make a joke out of halacha.

A Rapist’s Nightmare

  NY Times   FOR as long as anyone can remember, upper-caste men in a village here in northern India preyed on young girls. The rapes continued because there was no risk: The girls were destroyed, but the men faced no repercussions.

Now that may be changing in the area, partly because of the courage of one teenage girl who is fighting back. Indian law doesn’t permit naming rape victims, so she said to call her Bitiya — and she is a rapist’s nightmare. This isn’t one more tragedy of sexual victimization but rather a portrait of an indomitable teenager whose willingness to take on the system inspires us and helps protect other local girls. [...]

Bitiya, who is from the bottom of the caste system, is fuzzy about her age but thinks she was 13 in 2012 when four upper-caste village men grabbed her as she worked in a field, stripped her and raped her. They filmed the assault and warned her that if she told anyone they would release the video and also kill her brother.

So Bitiya initially kept quiet.

Six weeks later Bitiya’s father saw a 15-year-old boy watching a pornographic video — and was aghast to see his daughter in it. The men were selling the video in a local store for a dollar a copy.

Bitiya is crying in the video and is held down by the men, so her family accepted that she was blameless. Her father went to the police to file a report.

The police weren’t interested in following up, but the village elders were. They decided that Bitiya, an excellent student, should be barred from the local public school.

“They said I was the wrong kind of girl, and it would affect other girls,” Bitiya said. “I felt very bad about that.”

Eventually, public pressure forced the school to take her back, but the village elders continue to block the family from receiving government food rations, apparently as punishment for speaking out. [...]

Bitiya says she does not feel disgraced, because the dishonor lies in raping rather than in being raped. And the resolve that she and her family display is having an impact. The rape suspects had to sell land to pay bail, and everybody in the area now understands that raping girls may actually carry consequences. So while there were many rapes in the village before Bitiya’s, none are believed to have occurred since. [...]

In one village, I asked a large group of men about rape. They insisted that they honor women and deplore rape — and then added that the best solution after a rape is for the girl to be married to the rapist, to smooth over upset feelings.

“If he raped her, he probably likes her,” explained Shiv Govind, an 18-year-old.[...]

L.A. Teacher of Year fired for child abuse by new special committee

LA Times

When a colleague complained that Rafe Esquith, the most celebrated teacher in Los Angeles, had made a joke about nudity to his fifth-grade students, the district called into action a newly formed squad of investigators to get to the bottom of it.

Internally dubbed the "tiger team," the unit was created last year in the wake of repeated sex abuse scandals that had long plagued the nation's second-largest school district. These investigators were supposed to cut through the bureaucracy's red tape and investigative backlog and quickly ferret out wrongdoing.

In Esquith, they had their highest-profile subject and their biggest test.

This week, based on the unit's investigative efforts, the school board behind closed doors voted unanimously to fire Esquith.

On Thursday, Esquith attorney Mark Geragos criticized the inquiry into his client and slammed the unit as "an investigative hit squad" that was determined to find wrongdoing by probing, if necessary, into every aspect of an employee's life.

District officials defended the work of its investigators, saying they've brought professionalism and a faster resolution to complex cases, which is better for teachers and for students. They said that nearly half of the employees investigated by the unit returned to their jobs.

The team includes seven full-time investigators, a supervisor and two forensic specialists. Among them are former L.A. Police Department detectives and a former investigator with the L.A. County Sheriff's Department. Three former administrators review their work, and the unit is headed by Jose Cantu, who's been with the district for more than 30 years, including 14 as a principal.

Also participating in the Esquith investigation is an outside law firm, a practice the district has reserved for especially sensitive cases.

Esquith qualified for special handling because he is one of the most famous and honored teachers in America, the subject of articles, a documentary and White House accolades. He's renowned for coaxing stirring performances of Shakespeare from Latino and Asian students who live in the working-class neighborhood around Hobart Avenue Elementary School. [...]