[...] Like the Obamas’ new domestic arrangement, whereby Marian Robinson, Michelle Obama’s 71-year-old mother, will become a third head of household and the primary caregiver for two children born to two high-achieving parents, the linchpin of the Baker-Roby household is a grandmother. Theirs is an old-fashioned scenario that fell out of style as Americans drifted to the hermetically sealed nuclear family. Since the early part of the last century, academics have noted the waning of this arrangement in the United States, because of increased mobility, smaller families and even Freudian attitudes, rampant at midcentury, that described “too close” adult maternal ties as unhealthy.
It is a choice, however, that is cycling back into favor. A recent study by AARP shows that multigenerational households are on the rise, up from 5 million in 2000 to 6.2 million last year, an increase from 4.8 percent of all households to 5.3 percent. It’s not always a smooth ride — families being what they are — but it’s still an appealing solution to the work-life conundrum.
Elinor Ginzler, senior vice president for livable communities at AARP, sees a number of forces contributing to these numbers. “There is some cultural play here,” she said, “as we become more and more a nation of new immigrants who bring that tradition with them. Yet 25 percent of American boomers we surveyed said they expected to have their parents move in with them, and were looking forward to it.” For all these reasons, she said, “Our cultural norms are shifting. There is a great renaissance of what we think about when we think about family.”
And it looks as if one particular family relationship — that of adult daughters with their mothers — may be entering a period of more than just détente, as veterans of the women’s movement endeavor to help their own daughters achieve the work-life balance that may have eluded them. That’s why Ellen Pulleyblank Coffey, 65, a family therapist and author in Berkeley, Calif., calls herself a “feminist grandmother” for her role in caring for Cole, the 2-year-old son of her daughter, Sarah Patrick, an urban planner whose husband, Todd Patrick, is a graphic artist [...]