Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Midos are the most important factor in choosing a wife?

I was listening to a shiur about dating and marriage and the following claim was made
Avraham  insisted that Yitzchok marry someone from his family - even though they were idol worshipers - because midos can be passed down in the family even though faith can not
thus all the baalei tshuva believed properly but they lacked the midos inherent in his family

it is an interesting point - but I can not find any of the commentaries that make this claim
בראשית פרק כד פסוק ג
וְאַשְׁבִּ֣יעֲךָ֔ בַּֽיקֹוָק֙ אֱלֹהֵ֣י הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וֵֽאלֹהֵ֖י הָאָ֑רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר לֹֽא־תִקַּ֤ח אִשָּׁה֙ לִבְנִ֔י מִבְּנוֹת֙ הַֽכְּנַעֲנִ֔י אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָנֹכִ֖י יוֹשֵׁ֥ב בְּקִרְבּֽוֹ: 

אברבנאל בראשית פרק כד
השאלה הג' מה ראה אברהם שלא צוה את יצחק בנו לא תקח אשה מבנות כנען כמו שצוה יצחק ליעקב וצוה אותו לאליעזר עבדו שהשביעו לא תקח אשה לבני מבנות הכנעני האם היה יצחק קטן בשנים או חסר דעת והרי בן מ' שנה היה חכם וירא שמים היה ולמה הזהיר לעבד השמר לך פן תשיב את בני שמה רק את בני לא תשב שמה ולא הזהיר על זה ליצחק עצמו כ"ש שאף שירצה העבד להשיב את יצחק שמה לא יאבה ולא ישמע אליו אברהם וימחה בזה כי הוא היה עקר הבית לא אליעזר ואיך תלה הדבר כלו בו ולא בעצמו ולא בבנו:

אברבנאל בראשית פרק כד
השאלה הה' למה צוה אברהם שלא יקח אשה מבנות הכנעני האם מפני שהיו עובדי עבודת כוכבים גם בעבר הנהר היו כן ומה הועיל בתקנתו והנה אם יצחק צוה ליעקב כן היה מפני הנסיון שראה שהיו מורת רוח לו ולרבקה ולא נסה בזה אברהם ומדוע הרחיקם ולא הרחיק את בנות בתואל ונחור שהיו רעים וחטאים מצד אמונותיהם כאנשי כנען וכ"ש שאמר אשר אנכי יושב בקרבו ובב"ר (שם) דרשוהו על ענר אשכול וממרא והם היו אנשים טובים ובעלי בריתו ולמה אסרם:

please enlighten me- what is the source for this claim?

 אברבנאל בראשית פרק כד
יושב בקרבו רומז לענר אשכול וממרא כמ"ש חז"ל כלומר אף על פי שאנכי יושב בקרבו והוא גדול ממני בעשר וכבוד איני רוצה בכבודו ומתנתו ויותר אחפוץ שתלך אל ארצי ואל מולדתי ששם משפחתי ולקחת אשה לבני ליצחק ר"ל אשה מבלי נכסים ומבלי שיתנו לה דבר כי הנה אף על פי שלא יתנו לה כלל ותהיה נכריה מארץ אחרת היא האשה אשר הוכיח ה' לבני להיותה מבני שם ומשפחתי או לפחות מארצי שבעבור זה תדמה בטבעה ותכונתה לטבע בני ולתכונתו וזו היא הצלחת הזווג ר"ל הסכמת האיש ואשתו בטבעיהם והותרה בזה השאלה הה'.

Abarbanel(Devarim 21, 24): The 12th question is how is it possible that G‑d’s Torah agrees that marriage can be dissolved by divorce. It would seem to be wrong that a man and woman who were  united before G‑d should be able to separate from each other  and that the woman be allowed to have sexual relations with another man and that the man should marry a different woman. It would seem that those things which are done as mitzvos should not be subject to regret and reversal. And surely this would apply to divorce which can be done without significant justification. The Torah simply says, “If she does not find favor in his eyes because he found in her something unseemly (ervas davar) then he should write a document of divorce and give it to her and send her away.” This is especially problematic according to the view that divorce can result even if he doesn’t like the way she makes his meals. Concerning marriage the Torah says (Bereishis 2:24), Therefore a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife and they should be one flesh.” This is a general lesson concerning the nature of man and how human relations change. So how is it possible that this natural process be reversed? Answer (Devarim 24) : There is no question that the actions of man in this world are in order to achieve one of five goals. 1) Acquiring wealth, 2) love of honor,  3) physical pleasures, 4) spiritual perfection or 5) welfare of one’s children. The joining together of a man and his wife in marriage can bring about all 5 of these goals. Marriage can provide good financial benefits because man is not like other creatures who obtain their clothing through nature as well as their food. In contrast man must acquire clothing and food through work which requires much preparations in order to obtain these things. A wife can be very helpful in acquiring material objects as well as food and clothing. Marriage is also inherently helpful in obtaining honor and respect since a single man finds it difficult to obtain honor because true glory goes to one who has a household. Marriage also provides physical pleasures especially since she obviates the need for prostitutes. There are also additional physical benefits in that she can help him with his tasks and work as well as taking care of his bodily needs and pleasures. Marriage also is helpful in spiritual perfection  - not only by keeping him from sin and pursing his lusts - but also in fulfiling       the mitzva of having children aside from the mitzvos that are available to him as married man. In fact marriage is also beneficial for the woman in that she has children. She is the cause of their existence and she raises and educates them as our Sages said in Yevamos (63), It is sufficient for a wife if she simply raises the children and saves her husband from sin. That is why G‑d’s Torah commands us concerning marriage because G‑d saw that it was not good for man to be alone. He also commanded the woman not to commit adultery and that the man was obligated providing her with food, clothing and conjugal duties. However all these benefits of marriage do not automatically exist and come about simply by getting married. Rather these benefits are conditional on there being a compatiblity between the couple regarding their natures and personality to maximum degree possible. This compatiblity also causes love and tranquility between them as it says that G‑d made her an ezer kenego. In other words an ezer kenegdo means that she is an ezer (help) if she is like him (kenegdo) and agrees with him in all matters. The importance of this compatiblity can be seen from the fact that G‑d brought all the animals and birds to Adam in order that he determine the name of each creature. In other words he was to observe each creature to see whether there was one which had the appropriate temperament and was compatible with his personality and his nature. That is why the Torah notes that after examining every creature Adam had not found his ezer kenedgo (his compatible mate). In other words even though he found those creatures which would be ezer (be of help) to him but none which were kenegdo (compatible and complementary to his nature). Because compatibility can not be based solely on the fact that a creature is female. Therefore it was necessary to do something different in order to create the proper compatibility and love. G‑d took one of Adam’s ribs and cloned a woman from it and then brought her to Adam - in order that she have his personality and nature. All of this was done to ensure the proper match and complementarity of the personality and attributes between a man and his wife and that it was inherent from her creation. That is because if it were the opposite then there would be no actual compatibility and thus there would be no basis for a successful household and not one of the five goals we mentioned would be accomplished. If there was no compatibility with the woman then it would be better for the man to remain alone and not join with that vile serpent – the bad wife. This is stated by Shlomo (Koheles 7), I find the woman more bitter than death...Similarly in Mishlei (25), It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a roomy house. Another source is Yevamos (63a), If he merits she is a helper (ezer) and if not she is his opponent (kenegdo). What this gemora is saying is that there is no middle neutral position regarding a man and woman. In fact the wife is either a help or an opponent since it is totally dependent upon the compatibility or incompatibility of their natures. How can there be a middle position in being compatible or incompatible? Consequently G‑d has commanded that when a man finds that his nature and personality are not compatible with that of his wife as expressed by the verse, “And if she doesn’t find favor in his eyes because he found in her ervas davar (an unseemly thing) - that their incompatible natures are the reason that he should divorce her. That is because it is better that they get divorced than have increasing hatred, fights and bickering between them.  The philosopher (Aristotle) has already mentioned this idea in relationship to the conduct of society. He has noted that because of this question of compatibility, men have agreed that there should be a period of engagement (eirusin) prior to marriage in order that they have a trial period to see how compatible they are. Only if they experience the love and tranquility that are the indicators of compatibility will they get married. That is because it is better to divorce her while she is still a virgin then a married non-virgin. This is a very solid reason for divorce besides the reason given by the Rambam (Moreh Nevuchim 3:49). However if they did get married and do not experience the indicators of compatibility in any way, the Torah says that they should get divorced which is the lesser of evils. Because perhaps he will marry a different woman who is compatible to his nature and personality and she will marry someone who is like her. This is preferable to them living their lives in suffering and torment and even worse perhaps killing or adultery and other serious evils. Therefore the Torah said, When a man takes a woman for a wife and has sexual intercourse with her. This means that even though she had intercourse with him which you might think make it wrong to get divorced since he has tormented her – nevertheless if she doesn’t find favor in his eyes or he hates her ... then he has the choice of divorcing her. Nevertheless the Torah doesn’t want her divorced by simply telling her that she is divorced or by giving her money or by sending her from his house. That is to ensure that divorce is not easy to do which would result in a woman being divorced multiple times from her husband – because he was in a bad mood. Another negative consequence of easy divorce would be that she could go and falsely tell people that she was divorced in order to commit adultery with another man. Therefore in order to remove all these pitfalls from divorce, G‑d commanded that a man can only divorce his wife with a written document which requires many conditions to be valid as well as witnesses. All of these serve the purpose of making it not so easy for the husband to get divorced. Consequently if the husband wants to divorce his wife when he is in a state of anger and outrage, this will form a difficult barrier to overcome and he will calm down. This complicated procedure also serves to prevent her from falsely declaring that she is divorced – as the Rambam says in Moreh Nevuchim....


  1. baalei teshuvas are generally treated like dirt by the frum community, i.e. once they want to find a shidduch

  2. I can't remember the name but I've seen it too. The question is based on "Why did Avraham insist on his family but reject the Canaanites when both were idol worshippers?" The idea was that the Canaanites were cursed because of Cham's bad middos while Nachor's family, while idol worshippers, followed the middos of Shem.

  3. Possibly because of the rate of recidivism. Same reason of Koshe Gerim leYisrael kesapachas, one reason is, recidivism. Avraham avinu, Amod haChesed is in the Genes, as stated in the Talmud, Yisrael hem rachmonim bnei rachmonim. Therefore, Eliezer eved Avraham picked for a nichush midas haChesed as being the clincher for the Shiduch.

  4. Well yes, because they actually believe in Torah and are enthusiastic about it. Annoys the FFB's who are going through the motions.

  5. Baalei teshuva are not geirim, they have the same genes. Maybe recidivism is because of the abuse they suffer from the so called rabbis in the teshuva business.

  6. What recidivism are you two talking about? I've known many baalei teshuva, of whom only a handful never remained frum. Eliminating those who were never frum beyond, say, 3-4yrs, I'm not sure I can think of any, offhand, who frei'd out.

  7. My question to you both posted to KA below.

  8. Yes, correct - the guy who mentioned recidivism is confusing geirim with BTs, perhaps that is the disdain that they hold both in. The thinking is probably something like this "those {BT] goyim, they will never be truly Jews!"
    I am trying to think why they look down so much on less frum people. Perhaps it is also because to be accepted, a BT will mimic fum people and pick up a lot of nonsense in meantime. BT yeshivas are usually crazier and have lost grip on reality - but then again, that could be said about Chareidi yeshivas in general.

  9. I am not discrediting any Baal Tshuva, bemakom shebaalei tshuva omdim afilu tzadikim gmurim einam yecholim laamod. The problem might be Relapse, uman dekopid kopid, uman delo kopid lo kopid, a personal independent choice and taste. Veal taam vareiach ein ma lehitvakeach. From my experience, I've noticed a very respected and preferential treatment.

    Definition of recidivism. :" a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior". That is a common denominator for both Gerim and otherwise.

  10. there is another point I would make, regarding the atmospher in the Bt world - and these yeshivot

    The Yeshivot such as Aish and Ohr sameach have charismatic english speaking leaders, but a lot of the rabbanim are themselves Bts and take an extreme position on halacha. Thus BTs are gullible and take on chumras as if they are basic. On the other hand, thos who are FFB and have learned parents, eg Rabbis, they grow up with a wider knowledge of halacha and also kulas, and they execute their lives with very good usage of these kulas.
    Also, you forget that bad midos can also be passed down in frum families. The other thing I have noticed is the case where it is just a family business, i.e. becoing a rabbi. That there was once a good rav , and yet hsi son or grandson is a menuval, with or without reshus haTorah. I have seen that many times in both the hareidi and MO world. Rabbis fooling around with other women, some married even.

    The problem is what business are rabbis in? They get to inherit the notion that they have their own little feifdom (this is handed down) and that they use it to satisfy their material needs, whilst all the same time preaching against what they themselves illictly indulge in. One "gadol" I knew, who was kown for his erudition , behaved like a glutton, hugging a married woman whilst halfway answering a question i asked him.

  11. " Avraham avinu, Amod haChesed is in the Genes, as stated in the Talmud, Yisrael hem rachmonim bnei rachmonim."
    Why do you think that all the leaders of great intellectual movements, eg psychology, economics, physics, are mostly secular Jews? And why are the secular left wing usually involved in humanism, and care even for the rights of the underpriveleged, and even the goyim or Arabs in Israel? Therefore, why should a BT lack this midah?
    Rav Kook made the observation that the seculars actually had a spark and spiritual essence, which the hareidim lacked. I'm sure that made a lot of the hareidim very angry.

  12. Curious. I see no evidence that we're operating with different definitions. And the principles you go on to cite is a different reason than recidivism, which is a move back to pre-frumkeit.

    Perhaps the source of our difficulty is linguistic comprehension? (You just wrote "discredit" when you meant "disparage".)

    Or perhaps it's cognitive; I just re-read your original comment, and you contradict yourself there too:
    If "Amod haChesed is in the Genes" as you assert, then having freier parentage wouldn't be a problem for BTs -- a nafqamina there with gerim. Thus, the Sefer Kuzari, which conceives of such matters genetically ("inyan Eloqi" concludes (1) that klal Yisrael had to come specifically out of Terach's lineage, and (2) that Terach's wayward idolatrous practices & those of his ancestors didn't in any way obscure that underlying potential.

  13. there is another recidivism too - it is all the BS proclamations of honesty, truth , appreciation for science and logic that the BT rabbis make, and that their (in particular Hareidi) halachic system is Divine and can solve any problem, and that it will solve all the world's problems, etc.
    This recidivism is that very soon they relapse into all the stereotypes that they are well known for, - dishonest (intellectually and otherwise), pursuing money and hating truth - oheiv hon, sonneh emet (the opposite of what the Mishnah teaches us to be); disdain for science and all secular studies and worldly matters, a hatred for peopel in general, whether non Jewish, Jewish, secular or even G-d forbid modern /zionist orthodox, mevazeh talmidei chachami, mevazeh Torah (the Written torah is rubbish without the Oral Law), polytheist and pantheistic in their mistaken kabbalism, etc. That's nto to mention the sex abuse they inflict on their own kind.

  14. It has a lot to do with money - there are actualyl 3 or 4 grades of BT:

    1) The learner, someone who can a completely become a yeshiva person, and a Rav, these get the best treatment.
    2) The money man - he is not a great learner, but he is rich, and will pay $$$ - he also gets a lot of Kavod, and his name will be on the first page of books, and on plaques on new buildings, shuls yeshivas etc. He becomes a "chashuva" person.

    3) neither of the above - he is ignored and has no real value to the frum world, other than to purchase glatt kosher everything at extortive prices. he will also struggle to give money away to hundreds of hareidi charities that are not being serviced by #2 above.

    4) The "apikorus" - he is still questioning , since his answers were not addressed properly in yeshiva, and are still not. he might dabble in Modern or Open orthodoxy or even chas v'shalom academia. the category is the worst and must be shunned rather than engaged with in discussion.

  15. There is a story in the Tenakh where one of the nations at war, surrendered themsleves to Israel rather than to their other enemies, because they knew that Israel were Rachmanim.

    The claim of it being in the genes proves the opposit of what Ehud is saying - a BT is usually someone whose grandparents of great grandparents were frum - so they have the same genes as their distant frum cousins.

    One practical problem would be having in-laws who are at least not kosher to the standards of very frum people or they are completely non kosher. Another one might be that Talmidei chachamim should not give their daughters to someone who wants to make love like a rooster. I am curious how they manage to produce large families without doing that dirty thing called marital relations?

  16. You are branching out losing focus. Where were these so called humanitarians, vegetarians, intell's, leftists, when our forefathers were marched into the Gas Chambers? The Jews were asked not to make noise. At the end of the day, Halacha Beyadua. I have belabored this much ado about nothing.

    We were asked to study Torah, They boasted about building bridges, bathhouses, roads all leading to Rome. Hashem offered the Torah to all the Nations, inquired what it states in it, they didn't like it, rejecting it. Only we said na'asseh venishma. Tan venishlam!

  17. In any case, "middos" is not a complete psychological analysis - there needs to be compatibility, and stabilty. I was having a chat with a Rav who was saying he was trained to watch out for BTs who become Obsessive compulsive with religious chumras or halacha. He claimed this is a pre-existing condition, and that religion might be a cover for OCD. However, OCD or other disorders might also be inherent in the poskim, or rabbis who make up chumras, and that they are creating psychological maladies - including but not limited to OCD - by adding more and more to the Torah and what it requires from us.

    I think Rav Moshe paskened that whilst one does not have to wear a kippa if it means losing a job or failing an job interview, he is not allowed to take it simply because he is paranoid about anti-semitism. In which case, it is halacha that is causing problems such as paranoia. And of course, it is funny becasue the Gra said that the Kippa has not basis in halacha whatsoever.

  18. "Where were these so called humanitarians, vegetarians, intell's,
    leftists, when our forefathers were marched into the Gas Chambers?"

    You mean where were the so-called Gedolim , Rebbeim, and frum leaders when these people sounded the alarm 30-40 years prior? When they spoke about a) leaving to America b) building a Jewish State with its own army and borders so as to prevent the nightmare foreseen in the antismeitsm of the Dreyfus trial?

    Witht he exception of a few, they were totally antagonistic, and said it's best to stay put. Only a few very special lights understood the secular genius - or the internal sould of the Jewish people - for example the famous Ohr sameach, the Netziv, Rav Kook, and the autor of the Eim HaBanim Smeichah. these leaders grasped that even the work of the so called secular people in E'Y had an internal purpose and kedusha to it, something that is beyond the comprehension of the mainstream Chareidi viewpoint.
    Many of these people were saving lives from the horrors of the gas chambers, whilst being mocked by the Chareidi leadership.

  19. Anyone is entitled to do as much researcn before closing a Shiduch. Talmud suffices, Kalah sheineha yafot, kol gufah einah tzricha bdika. You also must see her before kidushin to be nosse chen. That is the sod haibur, the attraction, the sparkle in the eye. ROFL, having all that, you still need siyata dishmaya, mazel and work hard at it. Bas ploni leploni, lefi maassov, along with tfila ie. shema yakdimena achar berachmim. Tzadik vera lo, Rasha vetov lo, as hareni na kvodecha (darkecho), Darkei hashem nistoros-Hashem works in mysterious ways, ve'ein li esek benistarot.
    Motzi assirim "Bekoshros = BekoshOros". Veze kol hatorah kulah al regel achat, veidach zil ugmor. My comment referred to -

    *because midos can be passed down in the family even though faith can not*

    Faith is in the Psyche, midos is in the soul. Gene is not the only factor/contributor, other factors are at play e.g. environment, chinuch, but it is an advatageous disposal. If anyone is interested in taking this further, sheyevussam lo!
    And to Passaic friend, although we might have differences, but we can still remain friends. A freilichen Chanukah

  20. Michoel Ber Tochiach! And is the State Hy'V' scud proof? Or tunnel proof? No sooner you come up with a solution, sonei Yisrael reinvent a new klei mashchis. This prooves im H' lo yishmor ir, shav shakad shomer. Until biat Goel, bechol dor vador omdim alenu lechalotenu, and you can't be smart.
    We started out with midos, and here we are thrown in the kitchen sink. Mi sheomar leolamo day, yomar letzoratenu day. Anyone is welcome to take over the vikuach. Not ready to trot the globe. Over n' out!

  21. "Where were these so called humanitarians, vegetarians, intell's, leftists, when our forefathers were marched into the Gas Chambers?"

    Uhhh, those weren't Jews doing that to other Jews. The assimilationist, leftist, rightist, humanitarian and all other kinds of Jews were marched into the Gas Chambers along with "your forefathers"

    "We were asked to study Torah, They boasted about building bridges, bathhouses, roads all leading to Rome. Hashem offered the Torah to all the Nations, inquired what it states in it, they didn't like it, rejecting it."

    Um, you know you are confusing BTs with non-Jews again, right?

  22. "This prooves im H' lo yishmor ir, shav shakad shomer. Until biat Goel,
    bechol dor vador omdim alenu lechalotenu, and you can't be smart."
    It is halacha to be smart and proactive - it is called Hilchot Rodef. Now, you sound liek a New Testament folk to me, who say they don't need to keep mitzvot until the Moshiach comes. That is what the naysayers say about self defence or being smart. Scud -- we developed Arrow. Tunnels--- now there is detection, etc etc. In Sefer Yehoshua, it bemoans the fact that the Pilishtim had iron chariots - a technological advantage over israel. There is hishtadlus in everything, that is the way of the world.

  23. Veda ma shetashuv!

    Ein chochmo vbe'ein tvuna neged H'. Im H lo Yishmor....
    Ele barechev vaele basussim veanchnu beshem ....The Mitzrim also had shesh meot rechev bachur with a trained army chasing us into the sea, velo nishar ad echad.
    Little David fought against the Plishti who cursed him out, responded Beshem Elokim Tzvakot, still and all did hishtadlut mechalukei hanachal, no contradiction there.
    H' yilachem lachem, veatem tachrishun. You mentioned some BT Yeshivot. There must be a big and wide selection, there shouldn't be any shidduch crisis, isn't that Invei Hagefen Beinvei? There is an expression of being *passendig*, NO?
    Ma cheti uma pishi ki dalakta acharay. Tried to give you an honest opinion and reasoning with explanation, and you are all over the place. All your pent up grievances that you have against Judaism 'leshitatcha', you download in response. A piece of advice if you will, kabel et haemet mimi sheomro. You are fully entitled to your choice, preferences and selection of which branch you care to belong, and which shidduch is nosse chen as in the eyes of the beholder, and can be bodek betallis sheim kula tcheles lemala min hamizbeach ad lev hashamayim Leteavon! Live and let live. Whichever way you slice it, Am Yisrael Chai, vaNetzach Yisrael lo Yeshaker. Amen!

  24. "your forefathers", Huh? Lachem velo lo?
    These yefeh nefesh of Tzaar baalei chayimnikes etc. as Yimach shemo being one of them were mavchin bein dam ledam, hypocrites. Um.. wrong again Simanei tlafayim in and of itself is not a siman muvhak. Mi yiten li Talmid chacham ve'eneshchenu.... is

  25. Do you know what quotation marks are and how they function?
    All you did here was launch an ad hominem attack to change the subject away from your mistake that I pointed out.
    You are confusing all non-charedi Jews with goyim. Yet you claim to follow the halacha.

  26. Word to the wise: Throwing in all these Hebrew quotations in the middle of your words doesn't make you sound smarter. Just make whatever point you are trying to make and stop trying to pretend it's a drasha.

  27. Your quotations don't deny what I said. Moshe held his hands towards the heavens, but Joshua had to fight with the sword. Remember. Shaul and Jonathan were killed in war. Even David killing Goliath was simply technology _ he didn't have the reach of strength to win a sword fight. So he innovated. He didn't do magic, he used a sling to propel a stone . Just like iron dome against the pilishtim of today. Iron dome _ science and technology _ university _ defense. Hareidim must hate all this defense, perhaps they should deny it.

  28. Vechi yadav shel Moshe osos milchama? ela lomar loch bizman sheYisrael mishtabdin liban leshamayim... Joshua had a tzivui of kibush milchemes mitzva... Vechi arod memeis, ela hacheit memis... Shaul sinned, he therefore lost, befeirush in Tanach... David took five sharp stones with emuna and bitachon relied on yeshuas hashem... the sling doesn't guarantee to hit such a narrow target, more so with five attempts... vaHashem ito was lil David's secret weapon!!! So much for technology. Lo bechochmo velo bigvura, ki im beruach Hashem Tzvakot. Of course science- technology-Iron dome-University-defense, you forgot to add- with a little bit of Tehilim, vechaval. When they teach Cadets in West Point Military Academy, they lecture that the Six day war cannot be explained in Military terms how it was won, but Divine intervention. Seems they contain Emunah enough for many ktanei amono. Your Honor, I rest my case. The floor is all yours!

  29. Try to read my response in the above. Plain simple English. With all due respect, my friend.

  30. When you explained your issues to the prospectors, what was their response? When you put a house on the free and open market, isn't it the buyers choice?

  31. I personally never looked down on a Ger or a Baal Tshuva, and can only speak for myself.

  32. “Midos are the most important factor in choosing a wife?”
    DT, you’re a psychologist. I’m an economist. You’re interested on tips on how to choose a life partner. Hertz Chumash writes on Deuteronomy 24:1-4; “DIVORCE What we have here is no law instituting or commanding divorce. This institution is taken for granted, as in Lev. XXI, 7 [7They shall not marry a woman defiled by harlotry, nor shall they marry one divorced from her husband. For they are holy to their God 8and you must treat them as holy, since they offer the food of your God; they shall be holy to you, for I the Lord who sanctify you am holy.], and Num. XXX, 10 [10The vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, however, whatever she has imposed on herself, shall be binding upon her.]. We are merely given one regulation in regard to it; viz., that a man who has divorced his wife may not remarry her, if her second husband divorced her or died.”
    You ask good questions: “And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to all the wild beasts; but for Adam ולאדם no fitting helper was found לא מצא עזר כנגדו.” (Genesis 2:20).
    Why was Abraham so adamant Isaac not marry a lady Canaanite? Why did Isaac tell Jacob to go to Haran to find a wife? In Canaan there were fine lady Canaanites. In Haran there were bad characters. Maybe we can learn tips on choosing a life partner. Adam may have struggled with the question of choosing a life partner.
    “And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to all the wild beasts; but for Adam ולאדם no fitting helper was found לא מצא עזר כנגדו.” (Genesis 2:20).
    I’m interested in the parsha. Was this wise of Joseph? “So Joseph gained possession of all the farm land of Egypt for Pharaoh, every Egyptian having sold his field because the famine was too much for them; thus the land passed over to Pharaoh. And he removed the population town by town, from one end of Egypt’s border to the other.” (Genesis 47:20-21).
    Wow Trump is sending 750 more US soldiers to Iraq, because of threats death to America. Trump and Netanyahu are good leaders facing false charges. See

  33. Torah though on ויגש
    “But he replied, Far be it from me to act thus! Only he in whose possession the goblet was found shall be my slave; the rest of you go back in peace to your father.” (Genesis 44:17).
    Joseph, the Viceroy, gives a discount. What can Judah say? Under Joseph’s rules (maybe ben Noah rules), all the thieves in party become slaves, not just the thief. Joseph says; Only he in whose possession the goblet was found shall be my slave. This seems to agree with Torah law that only he in whose possession the goblet was found shall be Joseph’s slave.
    No. First thieves must pay back what they stole and pay fines, e.g. When a man steals an ox or a sheep, and slaughters it or sells it, he shall pay five oxen for the ox, and four sheep for the sheep.— If the thief is seized while tunneling, and he is beaten to death, there is no bloodguilt in his case. If the sun has risen on him, there is bloodguilt in that case.—He must make restitution; if he lacks the means, he shall be sold for his theft אם אין לו ונמכר בגנבתו. But if what he stole—whether ox or ass or sheep—is found alive in his possession, he shall pay double.” (Exodus 21:37-22:3)
    Second, more important, only if he lacks the means to pay back what he stole and to pay the fines, is he sold in slavery for his theft אם אין לו ונמכר בגנבתו.
    Midrash Rabbah - Genesis XCIII:3
    “Like golden apples in silver showpieces Is a phrase well turned אפניו. Like a ring of gold, a golden ornament, Is a wise man’s reproof in a receptive ear.” (Proverbs 25:11-12). Akilas the proselyte rendered the verse: like apples of gold on a silver plate. Is a word fitly spoken [lit. a word spoken on its wheels אפניו]: as a wheel shows a front on all sides, so were Judah's words when he spoke to Joseph logical [seen] from all angles. Thus, “Then Judah went up to him ויגש אליו יהודה and said, Please, my lord, let your servant appeal to my lord, and do not be impatient ואל יחר אפך with your servant, you who are the equal of Pharaoh.” (Genesis 44:18).
    Hertz Chumash p. 169: The pathos and beauty of Judah’s plea on behalf of Benjamin have retained their appeal to man’s heart throughout the ages. Sir Walter Scott called it the most complete pattern of genuine natural eloquence extant in any language.”
    Judah is there as surety/guarantor, to pay the debt of Benjamin to the Viceroy. The Viceroy must release Benjamin, under Torah law and morality. Beautiful.

  34. Avraham instructed haIsh to not get a wife from Canaan because of AZ, yet Avraham took a wife from Mitzrayim Egypt, who were probably worse with regards to AZ.

    And in the end, divorced her (albeit without a ketuba) (though Yitzchak was instrumental in machzir gerushato remarriage)

    It seems Abarbanel is too biased to Christian thinking with regards to divorce being forbidden.


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