Monday, July 25, 2016

An opinion regarding Yehuda Pogrow's direct involvement in offering help to survivors of abuse

This represents the views of one of the readers of this blog. Yehuda Pogrow is welcome to comment or write his own guest post on his vision and qualifictions
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Guest post by commenter KwikEMart

Thank you Rabbi Eidensohn for posting my guest post on your site.

I have been following the writings and comments of Yehuda Pogrow, both on this site, his facebook page, as well as other blogs. Ordinarily one needs to hear both sides of the story before sharing an opinion, but there is an exception to that rule, that exception is when the one side you've heard disqualified themselves by the way they argue for themselves. I've only heard what Yehuda writes and he is highly UNQUALIFIED to be working with victims.

Yehuda's facebook posts and comments clearly indicate that he is a man that is not ready to be working with victims. He is broadcasting anything negative written about him, and then calling upon that author's employer to break their connection with him. He is constantly using the phrase "has lost all credibility". At different points, Rabbi Yosef Blau, Benny Forer, Meyer Seewald and Yerachmiel Lopin have all "lost credibility". Is there anyone he does admire besides himself? Does he admire Manny Waks, Dr. Michael Salamon, or Magen? How about Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz, or the blogger UOJ who exposed the Kolko story in Yeshiva Torah Temimah? Does he admire anyone besides himself? Does he at least give them some credit even if has some disagreements with them? Is there not a single activist/advocate he respects and that he can get to support his efforts and mentor him in his new role? Sorry Yehuda, credibility is earned, they've earned it through their tireless efforts and their success in the field, you have yet to earn it. And the one without credibility isn't the one who decides that the credible one is no longer credible.

What also disturbs me is how quickly Yehuda switches from the advocate to the victim. When some of the above mentioned people criticized Yehuda, he responded that their agencies should part ways with them because of "the way they are treating a victim" (might not have been an exact quote). Sorry, but if you are playing the advocate, and being criticized for your advocacy, you can't switch hats and then cry about how you are being treated as a victim. All this indicates is how much Yehuda cares about his own ego, and how far he goes to protect it. Unfortunately, some of his posts indicate that he willing to go as far as harming the victim he is supposed to help, in order to protect his own ego.

Let me give everyone a tip, if the therapist you are seeing has their own ego as their top priority, go get help elsewhere. Don't pay a therapist to use you as a means for stroking their own ego. And when it comes to activists, don’t trust someone who comes from nowhere, attacks everyone else, says "Let me be your leader", and has no plan except everyone following him. That is not advocacy. It is simple ego.

What qualifications does this person have? That they were abused? Being abused doesn't make you qualified to help the abused any more than being a basketball player helps you be a basketball coach. Sure there IS common ground and there ARE people who can and do succeed at both, but it is hardly a given. Magic Johnson is an NBA hall-of-famer, he was listed as one of the 50 best players of all time, but as a coach he had a record of 5-11 before quitting (and to all you Knicks fans, I'll spare you the harshness of bringing up the Isiah Thomas era)

Yehuda claims that he is behind an agency called "Survivors for Change". Is this anything more than a Facebook page? Is there a board? Is it recognized as a non-profit? Are they insured? It is also VERY interesting that Yehuda keeps plugging his organization, all while asking why there is even a need for such organizations.

To close, I'd like to remind the public that this was a completely one sided investigation. I did not hear from the other side, just from Yehuda. Some of the things that were said by Yehuda are no longer available to be viewed, but they were still said, deleting them does not mean they weren't said. I feel for Yehuda, he is suffering tremendously from the shocking revelations about his brother, and his own admission of being an abuse victim. He needs help and I believe he is looking for it. But victims are real people who need competent help. It would be malpractice to let Yehuda (at this stage) work with a victim simply cause it will help Yehuda.

To all of you who still say that Yehuda should work with victims, after-all, he himself is a victim, whilst turning a blind eye to all my points above, I have one thing left to say to you: "Hi, I've been circumcised, please let me do milah on your son"

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