There is much to learn from the saga of Yoeli. Reading the comments on this post, I think too many people are missing the real lessons.
Reconciliation is a good thing. Therapists, in contrast to accusations made by too many people, are dedicated to הבאת שלום בין איש לאשתו. We are not divorce hungry, and we do not make such decisions for our clients.
This reconciliation is a rare exception, and a special tefilo for its longevity would be appropriate. As is typical for many cases, the sale to the public that the woman is the victim of an abusive husband is fairly easy and popular. It is ignorant to deny that there are abusive husbands. Very close to 50% of all marriages in which there is abuse, the perpetrator is the woman, and the victim is the husband. Yet, any woman with a difficulty in the marriage can buy the world's pity and support with claims of victimization. And the current unbalanced systems built to protect victims of domestic violence support this reverse victimization of men. I am in as much awe of the reconciliation as I am of the blindness that afflicted those who pushed themselves as advocates for women in this saga. I remain appalled at the extremes of falsehood and fabrication with non-existent dayanim, and the pumping of these fraudulent messages to the secular media. The chilul Hashem aspect of all this is outside of the realm of humans to judge, and HKB”H will deal with this as He sees fit.
I will not comment specifically about any organization. But the efforts to intervene here without knowing facts were clearly in the wrong, and I would daven that they, too, learn some lessons.
Lastly, I pray that the children, who were made into victims by the incessant efforts to cut them off from their father, become truly resilient and never experience any ill effects of what was inflicted upon them.
========================================
Statement from Yoel Weiss:
As my wife and I are very public figures who have aroused much interest and strong feelings regarding the breakup of our marriage – I would like to publish an update regarding our current situation.
Statement from Yoel Weiss:
As my wife and I are very public figures who have aroused much interest and strong feelings regarding the breakup of our marriage – I would like to publish an update regarding our current situation.
Baruch HaShem – we have reconciled and are living together as a family with our children. We are aware that this is probably the least expected outcome given the accusations that were made and publicized in all the media. But it is true. We are both firmly committed to making our marriage work and with G-d's help we will succeed.
How this all came about is not something which is appropriate for the present – there are still very sensitive issues that are being addressed. We would appreciate if you would respect our privacy and allow the healing process to work without making us and our children a subject of gossip and Monday morning quarterbacking. Someday it might be possible to calmly explain what happened – but now is not the time.
In addition we have both learned much from recent events regarding saving marriages as well as what not to do when the marriage can not be saved. We have succeeded in helping a number of couples regarding these issues and are looking for a way to help others avoid the pain and degradation that we have experienced. We are presently working on making this advice available in a more structured and useful format. I will update the public as we work this out.
However at the present, all that is relevant is that we are Baruch HaShem a family again.
I think this is the best possible outcome imaginable.
ReplyDeleteI also think this sets an example that almost every marriage can be saved - even when almost everyone in the world thinks it can't be and you have the ORAs of the world beating the Get drumbeat.
Gevaldig!
ReplyDeleteלא מצא הקב"ה כלי מחזיק ברכה אלא השלום
May Hashem help you continue on this positive path, and may you be able to share your insights with others in need of such advice.
If this is true - then what an amazing, beautiful and unexpected piece of news!
ReplyDeleteWhy "if it is true"?
ReplyDeleteWow!!! Yoel and Rivky Weiss (née Stein!!) Should now become "HOUSEHOLD" names!!!
ReplyDeleteWish them tremendous hatzlachah AND SHALOM!!!....and they should be an inspiration for many!
I strongly disagree with the notion that "ORA" stepped over any lines. The Jewish community tries to provide a support system. They do not go into homes to interview couples. If this is a true resolution without any coercion than I wish only the best. Unfortunately though her statements in court were powerful, clear and very deep into their personal lives. That is when a support system steps in to help remedy a situation. It seems unless she perjured herself the community acted appropriately in assisting to the best of their ability. somethings unfortunately do not add up in this story line development but blaming the support system isn't one of them.
ReplyDeleteWould love to be a fly on the wall ...
ReplyDeleteAm I happy for the whole united family, B'H. May Hashem bless everyone with the richtige da'as and live happily ever after. This is to teach us all, Yiush is shelo mida'as, veafilu cherev chado munachas al tzavoroh shel odom al yisyaesh min horachamim. I can see the Mizbeach smiling from ear to ear along with Aharon haKohen. ORA can be put to mothballs and never to be heard from ever again! May the whole world shep nachas from you and yours ach tov kol hayomim, Amen. And the biggest winners are the Kinderlach. The Botei Dinim can learn a lesson and teach the couples a lesson or two. Yes, if there is a will, there's a way.
ReplyDeleteIt is the ORA-types, that whole network, that produce those kinds of false statements to facilitate divorce. They are Divorce, Inc. What is needed is Marriage, Inc. The only support that should have been proffered was one towards reconciliation. Baruch Hashem it worked out this way towards this beautiful resolution.
ReplyDeleteMazal tov
ReplyDeleteYou aren't as pashut as your moniker implies.
ReplyDeleteLet's set aside the fact that several of the subtleties in your comment ("if this is a true resolution", "something doesn't add up") lend the reader to suspect an עין רעה at work, rather than the opposite. Contrast your reaction with others on this thread, who are simply thrilled at the good news of שלום being restored to a בית בישראל.
But putting that aside, your conclusion that 'support systems' shouldn't be criticized is absurd. Even doctors know that their first rule is, 'Do no harm'. If this couple's שלום בית was able to be restored, I would think that every support system that instead stoked the fire, paid for public relations campaigns, and made a media circus out of the woes of this couple should now slink back under their rocks in shame.
It is appalling the attack against ORA this couple was unable to reconcile without a public outcry. We should look to unite not incite or hide behind fear mongerers. The same Aharon hakohen would want shalom not public smiles and abuse behind closed doors. Also where is the proof of their reconciliation? Her sites and public outcry for help are still up.
ReplyDeleteI strongly disagree with the notion that "ORA" stepped over any lines.
ReplyDeleteBottom line. Did ORA further the best interest of the individuals involved? Did ORA even care about the interests of the individuals involved?
Is ORA really an organization of furthering their beliefs and imposing their beliefs and "values" upon others? Are the individuals involved simply pawns for them to play with?
Good news.
ReplyDeleteShe is a low life who claimed that he raped her and enslaved her. Heck, she sued his family! These two deserve each other.
ReplyDeleteSee what happens when outsiders, people, courts, organizations, etc stay out of a private dispute?
ReplyDeleteOnly good.
...except that Yoel always keeps a swatter handy, darn.
ReplyDeleteI do not know about this Weiss case but I know in the case of Yisrael Meir & Lonna Kin, Mr. Jeremy Stern is the one keeping LK chained because he is not removing the slander on YMK from the ORA website.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Mr. Stern definitely crossed the line when he demonstrated outside the chasunah of YMK's nephew. What right did Mr. Stern have to embarrass a kallah with no connection to her chassan's uncle? Jeremy Stern is even worse than Jezebel whom the dogs left her hands and feet for being mesameach chassan v'kallah!
What about all the RICOH garbage prepared by the world class attorney Uzi Frankel?
ReplyDeleteAnyone who read that baloney could not even believe the page numbers on that document.
This "support system" must be good, because you mentioned it 3 times. But the only thing it's really good for is promoting wholesale divorce.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure we all wish them the best and they don't owe anyone an explanation but considering the magnitude of claims against each other it is a little on the unbelievable spectrum so perhaps an explanation of some sort can help it make a drop of sense if it's indeed true; the redeem rivky site is still up.
ReplyDeleteKabel es hoemes mimi sheomro. ve'ein hmikro yotze midei Pshuto. Moshe Rabenu said Boker veyoda Hashem', says rashi ato es shikrus hu. Some wake up when it's too late when it's over. Veonu tfilah, both should work at it, the best investment you can do for all parties concerned, a win, win, win situation. VaHashem itchem!!!
ReplyDeleteThose running to take sides reminds me of the onlookers looking upwards coaxing the distraught in a frenzy to "JUMP" where only the chevra kadisha profits. This is aiding and abetting the helpless to commit suicide R'L'.
Any organization that only takes one side in any matter is chazer treif. So regardless of whether you feel what they do is acceptable according to Halacha, which it is not, anything they do is tainted. I would love to hear of one woman they declined to help because she acted badly or unfairly to her ex husband.
ReplyDeleteWow, amazing good for them, and shame on all those who encouraged hate ובראשם Uriel Frankel, shame on you, you are בזוי ומבוזה
ReplyDelete“Baruch HaShem – we have reconciled and are living together as a family with our children. We are aware that this is probably the least expected outcome given the accusations that were made and publicized in all the media. But it is true.”
ReplyDeleteGood news!! My feeling is that we should make the bracha on hearing unusually good news: Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who is good and does good.
B"H. Yoel and Rivky, may you be blessed with a Binyan Adei Ad always. May you do the needed work and most important one of this generation, to save and repair all marriages and may Hashem give you success a thousand times over and more.
ReplyDeleteHer sites or ORA's? Jeremy Stern is a bottom-feeding muck-raker whose livelihood is based on being able to stir up people into believing he is there to help these 'agunot'. If couples like this one are able to reconcile without his shenanigans, he loses his easy parnooseh.
ReplyDeleteBecause I am a natural skeptic. But hopefully I am completely wrong, and all the Brachos on this page should be fulfilled במילואם!
ReplyDeleteUziel.
ReplyDeleteLet's not forget ORA and their henchmen.
This is what happens when RSK stays out of a private dispute.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that they are together... Tatta shik mich hoizen...
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why the RedeemRivky website and the Facebook page is still up. So, I hope this good news is really true.
ReplyDeleteNot that it was our business before or now but the redeem rivky site is still up, there is only a claim from the husband and not her or others that were involved plus the claims were quite extreme so it's a normal reaction to say if it's true.
ReplyDeleteIf Hashem thought it's a good shiduch who are we to intervene. When Aharon haKohen passed away, Klal Yisrael mourned because when there were Shalom Bayit issues Aharon came to the rescue. For the sake of Shalom Bayit Hashem let's his name to be erased to clear a Sotah. When the Mizbeach cries, Klall Yisrael cries along. Even the SA states, the first thing is Poschin beShalom. It is inconceivable that Hashem misses by +- 50% at the rate things are going. Shalom Bayis is not for free, some have it easier some have to work at it harder, you must invest in it and that is the sod haibur.
ReplyDeleteWhen k-ORA-ch - "lokach es atzmo latzad echad" - comes running and spreading all sorts of divrei bela with their Bullhorn so as to stir up a machlokes kORAch veAdoso bein ish leishto into a wildfire, may the Gehinom open up underneath and swallow them, velo noida ki bo el kirbeno. ORA is RA leShamayim veRA labriyos. Es iz nisht gut far Yidden! Uviarta hORA mikerbecho, veoz yishkot ha'aretz arbaim shana. Amen.
We the People and We Klall Yisrael have you and the children in our minds and our hearts in our daily prayers every morning - Elu dvorim she'ein lohem shiur ... vahavoas Sholom bein odom lachaveiro uvein ish leishto for your success. Aleh vehatzlach!
Obviously these are two sites that are being controlled by "activists." This just makes it abundantly clear that they were using the wife for their "activism." They do not care about what's best for this, or any, woman.
ReplyDeleteYes, have to add (supposed) rabbis to the list above.
ReplyDeleteSo his wife always claimed ...
ReplyDeleteIt might be a good idea to remove the picture of Yoel with the red line from the redeemrivky groups.
ReplyDeleterabbis meaning outside their feild of expertise.
ReplyDeletedidnt the BBD say that was more of a "shalom bayit" case, vs a get case?
Wow, someone ( s) really pulled a fast one over me! Honestly, I might have been embroiled, incensed and unnerved at what was done to you, but I did think she damn .......eh, putting it mildly. ..... looked wonderful!
ReplyDeleteGuest post:
ReplyDeleteGimme a break. I mean seriously? ok i admit that i am happy that a jewish child will now grow up with a tatty and mommy living together, but it stops there. I am sorry dearest young couple but that was a very selfish post. Is it all about you? Where is the apology? Not one time did either of you apologize. Are we not brothers and sisters that follow the same Torah?
Now i am not here to point fingers at either side but one thing is for sure , You are both adults and you are Yeshiva/Beis Yaakov educated representatives of klal yisrael, am hanivchar. We are yidden and much more is expected from us! This despicable behavior that was played out in the media that negates daas torah and halacha caused a chillul hashem brabim and caused am yisrael much suffering and embarrassment. Not to mention Hashem and his Torah.
Anything that was the fault of either of you, am yisrael deserves an apology FROM YOU. If you feel it is not you to blame for this terrible chillul hashem, then tell us who is. (Please do not blame your lawyer$ we know tho$e guy$ already)There must be a din vcheshbon here and the reason is simple: I am sorry to say but you may have been the cause for many frum divorces, with your behavior. It your job to show these poor couples (and those in the future who know what google.com is)where you went wrong, when things went wrong between you. It is your job to point fingers at organizations, Rabbis, 'Rabbis' who pushed you to do the wrong things, that almost led to the mizbeiach crying. The Mizbeiach is still crying. It is crying because young people are being misled by Rabonim who do not have time to make shalom bayis because there are too many to deal with. Rabbis who made peace with the rising divorce rate and are more than happy to refer our young men and women to 'therapists' and agunah organizations , battered wife hotlines, etc who rely on divorces for their parnasah or to impress potential donors about how many 'cases' -sniff- they deal with on a MONTHLY basis. (yearly is not good enough!)
Raboisai, Take responsibility, and help us get rid of the eirev rav in our midst who are breaking up families and destroying klal yisroel.
Wishing you a long,happy life together, yideshe nachas and the strength to do whats right.
Signed in pain,
Apology not received yet
It also makes sure the donations keep rolling in....
ReplyDeletewell said! Indeed an embarrassing moment for Jeremmyora .i wonder if he will release a statement :)
ReplyDeleteHow about an ad: rivkie (and yoel) are free!
ReplyDeleteI am nearly left speechless by the mean-spiritedness of this comment.
ReplyDeleteOne could just as easily have seen this initial update as the first of several steps the couple IS taking to expose the greater community to the lessons learned from this awful debacle.
But along you come, Mr. Cohen, and you're totally dissatisfied that what is 'owed' you is not forthcoming on your timetable.
And you call them selfish?! Have you checked yourself out in the mirror lately?
Taking your train of thought... honestly I don't care if they apologize or not because I didn't follow this case... the only point in their update that raised my eyebrows actually was the fact that they are already counseling people... well... rationally thinking, they should get solid in their relationship first before spend their energy on others... They'll need a lot of energy to deal with their online exposure... and should concentrate on that, on how to talk to the kids when the they learn to access Google... many thinks to be thought and dealt with before trying to solve other people's problems. It's certain that if someone asks for help, it's good they'll help... but... everything has its right time...
ReplyDeleteThis is what she said: "After a while, the abuse became a cycle and I knew my role. He would beat me or rape me or punish me. I played my part. I had to tell Yoily I would be more respectful. Then he would stop. Until the next time.".
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry she went back to him, but thats what abused women often do. During the separation, his behavior was equally abusive. This doesnt change that.http://www.redeemrivky.com/
He abused her, he refused to give a get. We don't know what pressures or promised brought them back but unless he's had a lobotomy he's extremely likely to return to his old ways in the future. Don't attack organizations that were there fore her, and hundreds of other women. Don't see this as a victory or anything beautiful. it isnt.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't abuse her. It is clear that her claims were not true and they were not accepted as legitimate by the courts. On what basis are you repeating these lies?
ReplyDeleteThe organization and individuals who supported her - didn't bother checking whether the claims were true. They supported her simply because she was a woman who was claiming her husband was a monster - thus reinforcing their beliefs as to what (frum) men really are.
As I have noted the claims of abuse and the RICO claims are not true and were not accepted by the court. Why do you insist on believe them?
ReplyDeleteShe was not an abused woman nor an agunah nor a slave or the victim of a family conspiracy etc etc etc.
And she also made sworn statements in the RICO case as well.
ReplyDeleteSince you apparently are a media personality, you should educate yourself on the prevalence of flinging allegations during a contentious divorce case.
Moreover, you probably owe YW an apology for so readily accepting these reports. If you have better information, you should state that. A simple link to a long-discredited site - that fleeced tens of thousands of dollars from the naive public - will hardly prove your position.
And again, I think you've read too much into this statement. What you've termed 'counseling others' might be the simple advice to "Stay the hell away from Jeremy Stern and ORA if you value your reputation, your children's wellbeing, and your spiritual future."
ReplyDeleteSuch simple advice may very well save untold dozens of couples. Similarly, a lot of women probably now prefer that they had never heard the name "Mendel Epstein" either.
for me , most people apologize but don't make meaningful change. Saying sorry and paying the price is a Goyish view of accountability , the jewish view is doing teshuvah and having courage to change and live your life differently. Their teshuvah for me has converted all the negative into positive - what they need is compassion and support , not criticism
ReplyDeleteBaruch Hashem! If this marriage can be saved, many more marriages can be saved.
ReplyDeleteLechol man deboie lemeida and all the rabble rousers.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to - Ger al tevazei beapei, and zechor ma'asecho horishonim, more so where they haven't even been true. You are continuing the ma'assim roim of ORA sharya fom the back door. Beidnah derischa rischa, beidna deChedvesse chedvesse, fershteist. They have just let us in that things are improving, the family just united and shared this hope and simcha with all us well wishers. It's healing time, let the sun do it's job, vehaShemesh marpeh bichnofeha. Amen.
Be kind, don't be Dr. KillJoy, let the peace gel and take hold and strike deep roots for them, and for us Klall Yisrael rooting for the United family's success bederech Yisrael Sovo!!! Consider them being in their Shefa Brochos vehatzlochos, into yerach hadvash, then IYH" shana rishona ad meah ve'esrim shono. Again, Shlach lachmecho al pnei hamoyim, ki berov hayomim timtzoeno.
very well put
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head. That is exactly the Message Yoily gifted us all. Most breakups are not to happen, it is only maisse satan that intervenes. The ones coming to the rescue taking sides are the Enablers. Only mumchim and Gutte Yidden should give guidance to resolve issues al pi Torah veal pi sechel hayoshor. Our heilige sforim have enough advice how to get along constructively, it is only a matter to take that medicine and commit yourself to it. How else can it be that Hashem is machriz bas ploni liploni and 50% or so matches don't fit? Koshe zivugo shel odom kikrias yam suf, hashem sweat it out, now is the turn for the other two partners that need to do the same. Vesof haHatzloche lovo.
ReplyDelete“As is typical for many cases, the sale to the public that the woman is the victim of an abusive husband is fairly easy and popular.”
ReplyDeleteI quote:
Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said to Abram, “Look, the Lord has kept me from bearing. Consort with my maid; perhaps I shall have a son through her.” And Abram heeded Sarai’s request. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took her maid, Hagar the Egyptian—after Abram had dwelt in the land of Canaan ten years—and gave her to her husband Abram as concubine. 4He cohabited with Hagar and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was lowered in her esteem. And Sarai said to Abram, “The wrong done me is your fault! I myself put my maid in your bosom; now that she sees that she is pregnant, I am lowered in her esteem. The Lord decide between you and me!” Abram said to Sarai, “Your maid is in your hands. Deal with her as you think right.” Then Sarai treated her harshly, and she ran away from her” (Genesis 16:1-6).
Sarai felt that Abram, the pillar of חסד, was abusive to her! “The wrong done me is your fault!” Abram was quiet, but allowed Sarai to do as she wishes. Sarai felt that Hagar was trying to take her place and to steal her ירושה.
“But the efforts to intervene here without knowing facts were clearly in the wrong, and I would daven that they, too, learn some lessons.”
ReplyDeleteספר חסידים (מרגליות) סימן עג
ויראת מאלהיך אני ה' (ויקרא י"ט י"ד) זהו כלל גדול שבתורה. על כל דבר המסור ללב נאמר ויראת מאלהיך שמכיר מחשבותיך לפיכך יהיו כל דבריך לשם שמים וכשתשמח בביתך תשמח לשם שמים ומריב אחר אל תתעבר כי מה לך ולצרה זו. וכן אמר אל תדבר מדבר שאינו שלך כי בשלך תזכה וזה חובה הוא לאחר אשר יריב עמו ואין חבין לאדם שלא בפניו וכן אמר שלמה (משלי כ"ו י"ז) מחזיק באזני כלב עובר מתעבר על ריב לא לו.
Translation:
“You shall not insult the deaf, or place a stumbling block before the blind. You shall fear your God: I am the Lord”(Leviticus 19:14). This is a major rule in Torah. On all matters directed to one’s heart, written “You shall fear your God” for He recognizes your thoughts. Therefore let all your ways be for Heaven’s sake. When you rejoice in your home, rejoice for Heaven’s sake. Others’ battles, don’t get involved, for what have you for that trouble? For your matters to succeed, don’t speak in matters not yours,. This is mandatory. You battle with the other. There is no obligating one not facing him. Thus said Solomon: “A passerby, who gets embroiled in someone else’s quarrel is like one who seizes a dog by the ears” (Proverbs 26:17).
Our forefather Abraham, the pillar of חסד, did not intervene with Sarah and Hagar (Genesis 16:1-6) and did not defend himself to Sarah’s charge “And Sarai said to Abram, “The wrong done me is your fault! I myself put my maid in your bosom; now that she sees that she is pregnant, I am lowered in her esteem. The Lord decide between you and me!” (Genesis 16:5).
“But the efforts to intervene here without knowing facts were clearly in the wrong, and I would daven that they, too, learn some lessons.”
ReplyDeleteספר חסידים (מרגליות) סימן עג
ויראת מאלהיך אני ה' (ויקרא י"ט י"ד) זהו כלל גדול שבתורה. על כל דבר המסור ללב נאמר ויראת מאלהיך שמכיר מחשבותיך לפיכך יהיו כל דבריך לשם שמים וכשתשמח בביתך תשמח לשם שמים ומריב אחר אל תתעבר כי מה לך ולצרה זו. וכן אמר אל תדבר מדבר שאינו שלך כי בשלך תזכה וזה חובה הוא לאחר אשר יריב עמו ואין חבין לאדם שלא בפניו וכן אמר שלמה (משלי כ"ו י"ז) מחזיק באזני כלב עובר מתעבר על ריב לא לו.
Translation:
“You shall not insult the deaf, or place a stumbling block before the blind. You shall fear your God: I am the Lord”(Leviticus 19:14). This is a major rule in Torah. On all matters directed to one’s heart, written “You shall fear your God” for He recognizes your thoughts. Therefore let all your ways be for Heaven’s sake. When you rejoice in your home, rejoice for Heaven’s sake. Others’ battles, don’t get involved, for what have you for that trouble? For your matters to succeed, don’t speak in matters not yours,. This is mandatory. You battle with the other. There is no obligating one not facing him. Thus said Solomon: “A passerby, who gets embroiled in someone else’s quarrel is like one who seizes a dog by the ears” (Proverbs 26:17).
Our forefather Abraham, the pillar of חסד, did not intervene with Sarah and Hagar (Genesis 16:1-6) and did not defend himself to Sarah’s charge “And Sarai said to Abram, “The wrong done me is your fault! I myself put my maid in your bosom; now that she sees that she is pregnant, I am lowered in her esteem. The Lord decide between you and me!” (Genesis 16:5).
Sounds like this poor woman had no choice. I'll be surprised if I don't read about her "accidental" death in the future. Those poor kids. She's probably not allowed near a computer to change her websites. She may write the truth!
ReplyDeleteCan we get an Update on this case - or perhaps a Post. Are the couple stay together. I pray for them and a beautiful to come to a reconciliation !
ReplyDeleteNowhere in the Press (not the yiddishe or goishe Press) has this reconciliation been reported which is v interesting.
It is up to the couple as to whether they want to publicize any more information. Yoel has not told me that anything has changed.
ReplyDeleteWhy is the redeem rivky facebook page still up?
ReplyDeleteThat man is an abuser who should be in prison. My heart goes out to that poor woman. I hope she finds the courage to leave him before he kills her.
ReplyDeleteCan anyone update info on Rivky and Yoel weiss
ReplyDelete