Sunday, February 23, 2014

Meeting in Lakewood regarding the Torah Approach to Marriage

WHAT? Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn, a Talmid of Gedolim HaGaon Amiti HaRav Aharon Kotler zt”l, Posek HaDor HaGaon HaRav Moshe Feinstein zt”l, and Posek HaDor HaGaon HaRav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt”l, will speak to a group of men about marriage.

The crisis of divorce and broken families will also be addressed. Rabbi Eidensohn will also present his program of Shalom Bayis Beth Dins, which could greatly reduce the number of broken marriages, agunoth, and coerced Gittin. This program has already been approved by leading Poskim in Gittin and experts in family law.

WHEN? Thursday, March 6, 2014 @ 2:10 PM.

WHERE?
Lakewood Township Municipal Building, 231 3rd Street, Second Floor Room C. Parking available at Municipal Parking Lot.

COST
No cost.

WHO SHOULD ATTEND?
One who seeks solutions for the above.

WHAT WILL BE TAUGHT?
What marriage or KIDDUSHIN means and why we must not destroy it. How a Shalom Bayis Beth Din can improve and save marriages. The halochos of coercing a GET when the husband refuses to give a GET. Why the vast majority of coerced Gittin are invalid.

You may call Rabbi Eidensohn at 1-845-578-19171-845-578-1917


 HaGadol HaGaon HaRav Moshe Feinstein zt”l wrote in his haskomo for Rabbi Eidensohn’s first sefer in halacha, “The Rav HaGaon is already known to me for many years as one who delves deeply to clarify complex halochos.” YB”L HaGadol HaGaon HaRav Shmuel HaLevi Wosner of Bnei Braq wrote in his haskomo, “A Talmid Chochom deserves very much credit. Words of truth are recognized, and words proceed from the heart and are written lishmo.”

29 comments :

  1. Kol HaKavod, R' Dovid. H' should guide you...

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  2. R' Dovid Shlit"a:

    May you be met with much success, להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה.

    I'll also add my humble prayer & wish that the group בלעיקוואד עיר התורה should accept to act in their interpersonal relationships על פי תורה in EVERY aspect, as the רבינו בחיי writes in כד הקמח:

    (כד הקמח לרבינו בחיי, סוף ערך סוכה): כי התורה תכלול העליונים והתחתונים ואין לך חכמה שלא תהי' נרמזת בתורה, הן חכמת הכוכבים והמזלות ... חכמות הרפואות ... שיש במצוות רפואת הגוף, וידוע הוא כי בזמן הנבואה היו חולי ישראל שואלין מן הנביא כמו ששואלין עתה מן הרופא ... כי לא תבוא לאדם מחלה עם עבודת ה' יתברך... וכן שאר כל החכמות בלי ספק כולן רמוזות בתורה, ולכך נקראת תמימה שנא' "תורת ה' תמימה", ואילו היתה חסרת חכמה אחת מכל החכמות לא הי' קורא אותה תמימה, והנה דוד המלך ע"ה הי' מתנהג עפ"י התורה השלימה והיו כל מעשיו שלמים וכל מה שהי' עושה הי' מתיעץ בתורה, הוא שאמר "גם עדותיך שעשועי אנשי עצתי".
    (כד הקמח ערך אמונה) והתורה הזאת הצלחת נפשו של אדם בה יושע תשועת עולמים, בה ילמד לישר מעשיו ועמה ידע דרכי החיים בכל פרטי פעלותיו, בטהרת גופו ומחשבתו ותקון נפשו ומדותיו ... שנזכיר אותם תמיד ונהגה בהם יוםולילה ואז יהי' שמורים בלב ... גם אם יש לך עסקים וטרדות או יבואו עליך מקרים תכופים זה אחר זה אל יליזו מעיניך אותם העסקים והמקרים מהיות המצוות תמיד לזכרון בין עיניך.


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  3. What is/are the name(s) of Rabbi Eidensohn's Sefer/Sefarim?

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  4. Please commit to posting pictures of the event, so that we can see the overflow crowd that will undoubtedly turn out for this amazing event. BTW, will anyone else be in attendance from the rabbinic end of the spectrum?

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    1. Originally I had two major rabbis lined up, but I could not confirm them as one left town and the other could not be contacted, so at this point I don't have anyone else. However, there are hopefully people who have suffered from what we talk about on this blog from secular courts and others forcing a GET, and I am sure there will be some interesting remarks.

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    2. Do you care to share the names of those two Rabbi's?

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    3. Share the names when things did not work out? Why should I. I hope another time we can work it out.

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  5. הלכות בית נאמן בענין קנין ופרנסת הבית וביאורים בכמה לאוין , קדושת הבית נאמן,בענין משפחה ותשובות אית נאמן בענין ריביתן
    also in English The Torah that Was the Torah that Will be: Stories of Rosh Yeshivas. Personal encounters with Reb Aharon Kotler and other Gedolim of the past generations.

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  6. will a recording/video be available for those unable to attend?

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    1. This is our first effort and we would like to do many things, but in reality we have to begin with what we have and hope to improve next time. I don't know about a recording/video right now. You are right it is a good idea, but right now I don't have a clear answer.

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  7. You should advertise this in the local Lakewood papers as well as on the local Lakewood email blast which goes to a large segment of the town. They can be reached at Jblasts@Gmail.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the good idea. Even if I don't do it right away, I hope eventually to get media coverage. This time I don't know.

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  8. Reb Dovid,
    Your book the Torah that was and will be sounds very interesting. Where can it be purchased?

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  9. I hope u get 3 people without paying them . The building on 7th and lexington would be a better place u would get a huge crowd

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  10. The book the Torah that Was, etc. is I think on Amazon.

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  11. Will you be addressing Dodelson Weiss specifically?

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  12. Will u be addressing the issues of heter mea rabbonim bizman hazeh and its application etc?

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  13. I can't answer specific questions because I have to prepare myself in the next few days. I began my preparations with a video about Shalom Bayis Beth Din you can click it on at
    https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/107352205/marriage_peace1.wmv.

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  14. I propose a "pink blancmange beis din" - The intransigent party must eat two kilos of pink blancmange a day or be fined $2000 a day while the marriage lasts.
    Shalom Bayis Beis Din is probably no worse or better than this.

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  15. better left unnamedFebruary 26, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    What will make the affected parties want to listen to this Bais Din any more than when they don't want to listen to a therapist, Borer, etc. that takes their spouse's side?

    Is this just another outsider claiming to know better and forcing their will on people that are hurting?

    How about teaching communication skills - and giving rules on how to decide when impasses arise?

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  16. Communication skills and rules are not stronger than what goes on in a marriage. A Beth Din with a signed and sealed authority in Torah and secular law is much more effective.

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  17. better left unnamedFebruary 26, 2014 at 7:26 PM

    I think that your answer shows that you don't understand what it feels like to be stepped on and ignored.

    How is your signed and sealed authority to make decisions going to make anyone feel understood? It sounds like your proposal will just replace one arbitrary tyrannical party [husband/wife] with another [Bais Din].

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  18. Looking for ClarityFebruary 26, 2014 at 8:14 PM

    Can you please clarify some things.
    a Talmid of Gedolim HaGaon Amiti HaRav Aharon Kotler zt”l
    When did you learn with him and what did you learn with him?

    ,Posek HaDor HaGaon HaRav Moshe Feinstein zt”
    When did you learn with him, and what did you learn with him?

    , and Posek HaDor HaGaon HaRav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt”l
    When and what did you learn with him?

    In the past you claimed to be musmach from Rav Elyashiv, but when pressed on the matter you said that he wrote you a letter giving his blessing for the work you were doing.

    So since you have in the past conflated a hamlatza with a semicha, I think it is fair if we wonder about the rest as well. You have claimed to be musmach from Rav Feinstein Z"L. Do you actually have a semicha from him or is this the hamlatza he wrote for you book? Same questions with regard to Rav Kotler Z"L.

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  19. First of all if the couple signs an agreement with legal papers that they will obey the Beth Din, especially if they confer upon it the power of fining them for violations of its orders, they will be pressured to obey the Beth DIn much more than if the two in the marriage just had it out daily with nobody superior to demand any changes. Defying a Beth Din accepted by two sides is a very serious matter at least in the Torah community, but once you sign over a power of arbitrator the Beth Din has real power even in secular law.

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  20. Have you thought of ways how to win the trust of the parties, or is this all about power?

    Why should someone trust you to be meticulous in clarifying the tru dynamics of the relationship, or will you say that it makes no difference?

    Why don't you understand that few people will want to sign their life away and be miserable for the rest of their lives, by giving you the power to decide everything?

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  21. The people who are miserable for the rest of their lives are the people in bad marriages. The children who grow up with divorced parents are also candidates for continuous misery cholilo. People regularly end up in court because of their divorce and spend 300,000 dollars. One person had to pay his wife's 300,000 dollars. And for the rest of their lives, they lack the money to pay what the court mandates and can end up in mail. Is that better than Shalom Bayis Beth Din? And what of the woman who never gets a GET, or the husband who never gets divorced and has to run around here and there looking for someone to permit him to remarry. And this, to you, is not as bad as signing up with a Beth Din?

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    Replies
    1. I usually agree with youMarch 4, 2014 at 3:31 AM

      Even with the pain of the problems you propose to solve, I respectfully disagree on this idea of yours. There is a fine line between being helpful / rodef shalom and a meddler. The shalom bayis beis din crosses that line. And should it become institutionalized, I forsee men refusing to get married 'kdaas yisroel and the shalom bayis beis din'. Getting between husband and wife should only be done in extreme circumstances. Not as a regular practice. Please continue with your many other wonderful activities and let this one drop.

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  22. מיינסטערMarch 2, 2014 at 9:00 PM

    כבוד הרב, מה קרה אצל המפגש, האם הי' בהצלחה?

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  23. I usually, I presented this program to the gedolei hador in family and divorce and they were all impressed with it. What did they know that you don't? If you saw a few children from a divorced family you would probably rethink your ideas.

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