A wife is told to serve her husband to increase intimacy and endearment - why only the wife?

We find in the Talmud (and this is also the halacha in Shulchan Aruch) that the wife is told to provide certain personal service for her husband to promote intimacy and endearment.. I have not found a comparable statement that the husband should do things for his wife to increase intimacy - why not?

Kesubos(61a): If she has four slaves -she may lounge in an easy chair. Rav Huna said that even though they said she can lounge in an easy chair but she fills his cup and makes his bed and washes his hands and feet. Furthermore Rav Huna said that all the work that a wife does for her husband she also does it when she is a niddah – except for filling his cup, making his bed and washing his hands and his feet and making his bed. Rava said this restriction for a wife who is a nida is only if she does the work in his presence but he is not there then there is no problem.

Rashi(Kesubos 61a): But she fills his cup and makes his bed – to spread the sheet something which is not strenuous – since it an act of endearment in order that she be more beloved to him. Therefore it is not comparable to the making of the bed mentioned in the Mishna which involves considerable physical effort and she can be forced to do it. She is not forced to do these works of endearment but the Sages merely suggested them as good advice as to how Jewish wives should behave. Except for pouring his cup -  when she is a Nida then all activities which draw them closer and increase endearment are to be avoided because they can lead to prohibited sexual activity.

Rambam(Hilchos Issurei Bi’ah 21:5): It is prohibited to use the personal services of a woman at all – whether she is an adult or a child whether she is a maid servant or a freed women. That is because perhaps it will cause him to have hirhur (sexual fantasies) about her. What type of personal services are we talking about? It is the washing of his face, hands, feets, making his bed in his presence, pouring his cup. That is because these personal services are to only be done by his wife. In addition one should not greet a woman at all – even through an intermediary.

Shulchan Aruch(E.H. 80:4-5): 4) And similarly every woman is to wash her husband’s face, hands and feet and pour his cup and to make his bed. (Some say that she is obligated to make all the beds in the house). And she is to stand before him and serve him doing tasks such as giving him water or a utensil or taking things from him etc. However she does not stand and serve his his father or son (However some say that is only when she is not dependent for support from her husband). 5) These works need to be done by the wife herself – even if she has many servants – she alone is required to do them. (There is a dispute regarding making beds see E.H. 80:8).

Epstein Trial ( 7th Day): Testimony of man who was beaten to give wife a Get

NJ.COM A Brooklyn man, testifying in the trial of a Lakewood rabbi accused of ordering beatings to extract Jewish divorces, described how he and his roomate were awakened and beaten for hours. 

The testimony offered in the seventh day of the federal conspiracy trial of rabbi Mendel Epstein, did not directly link the religious leader to participating in the Aug. 22, 2011, attack, but it connected his son, who is also charged in the indictment, to the attacks that federal prosecutors say were orchestrated to force the men into giving their wives divorces.[...]

Testifying to a jury of eight men and eight women before U.S. District Judge Freda Wolfson in Trenton, Teitelbaum said he had been asleep in his Brooklyn basement apartment for nearly an hour after returning from his job at a local grocery store when he was awakened by a man who punched him in the face. [...]

When he wasn't screaming, he could hear other men beating his roommate, Usher Chaimowitz, who had been asleep in the other bed in the room, and ordering him to grant his wife a Jewish religious divorce, known as a get, he told Assistant U.S. Attorney Sarah Wolfe.

He said the attackers knocked loose four of his teeth. When he asked why they were beating him, he said, one of his attackers told him, "Woe is the villain; woe is his neighbor."

After beating him in the bedroom, Teitelbaum's attackers dragged him, with his arms and legs bound, into the kitchen, where they cut off his pajamas and covered his head and his lower body with towels, he said. [...]

Teitelbaum said the beating lasted about two hours, after which he and his roommate were able to free themselves. [...]

How CAN American Jews be conservative or vote Republican? Dumping Israel is easier than embracing God

Guest Post By Shlomo Pollak

One of the most frustrating phenomena to all those that love Israel, Jew and Gentile alike, is the American Jewish Voters' insistence on Voting Democrat.

From dropping support for Jerusalem as the capital of Israel from the Democratic policy platform, to Obama’s open hostility to anything Israel, there can no longer be any question who's side the Democrat/"liberal"/ "progressive" party is on. From meeting and supporting terrorist front groups to giving voice to the virulent anti-Semitic BDS "movement", the left has resurrected the evil snake of anti-Semitism that many thought was finally dead for good.

The million dollar question is, facing such hostility, how is it that a whopping 69% of Jews voted for Obama in 2012?!?

Recently the brilliant conservative pundit and Orthodox Jew, Ben Shapiro has released a video on this subject. (Link here: Youtube ,and transcript here: Truth Revolt ). In a nutshell, Shapiro argues that the average American Jew "does not care about Judaism or Israel. They care about secular leftism, which is their religion". This explains the great disparity between Jews, concludes Shapiro, "while in general Jews vote three to one for Democrats, Orthodox Jews vote nearly two to one for Republicans" (of the third that votes Democrat, I suspect at least half, are pork voters and do not share any Democratic party values).

Jamie Glazov, another conservative pundit, had on three Jewish writers, (here: Youtube) also attempting to wrap their minds around this puzzling allegiance. Together they work on identifying some subconscious need that seems to be active disproportionately by Jews. The suggestions range from a desire to do the cool thing, be the same as their Gentile neighbor, to cognitive dissonance, or an emptiness that must be filled with meaning and liberal causes.

Could it be that secular Jews find themselves between a rock and a hard place? Can it be that for many, the only two options are reluctantly removing the Israeli flag from their lapel or donning "kippot" on their head??

The Rights philosophy is based on the belief in God, rule of law, and individual responsibility. To Republicans, these concepts speak to the foundation of government and rights, namely that all were CREATED equal and endowed by our CREATOR.... A Gentile that feels squeezed out of the Democratic Party, is disillusioned by the left, or has finally seen the light, can relatively easily embrace God. He must overcome cognitive dissonance, but it does not necessarily mean a complete make over.

For a Jew, a full embrace of God will mean tremendous changes immediately, so long as it's not Christianity or Islam that he joins. The Jewish conservative and reform movements don't believe in God and the literacy of the Torah, and Jews don't tend to flock to Christianity.

That leaves them with what they consider two bad options, and overwhelmingly the Godless way of life is considered the lesser of two evils.

They have concluded, that continuing to support a party and way of life that has removed Jerusalem AND God from their platform, is less life-altering than joining a group that "clings to religion and Israel protecting itself with guns".

It can very well be that a number of motivations are at play, and these suggestions are not mutually exclusive.

Practically speaking, no Jewish need or concern will not be addressed by continuing on this suicidal pact with one political party. The left knows they have our vote no matter how cruel and insensitive they are to "The Random People". Politicians on the right are also beginning to realize that, regardless of their staunch support, Jews give them a cold shoulder. For the time being, has been doing the "right" thing, out of principle. But, with a burgeoning libertarian right, we can't take it for granted.

The conversation regarding this abusive marriage of Democrats and Jews must continue, and be conducted in as public forum as possible. Hopefully, together we will identify definitively the root cause of this self-destructive behavior, and be half way to the cure.

Even if no one changes their voting habits or associations, this conversation is important. The public must know that MANY Jews don't have Israel or Jewish people's best interest in mind. Most people instinctively believe that Jews and Jewish Politicians care about Jewish causes. The left and the media have disingenuously exploited this misunderstanding for years. That's how a Jewish Congressman (Steve Cohen, D-Ten.) has the nerve "to affirm his strong Jewish identity and support for Israel", but accuse Netanyahu and Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner of playing politics against the Obama administration.

Here is a man that obviously views his friendship and political favors from the Khomeini hugging, Israel hating, bully President, as more important then his brethren literally facing Satan with THE BOMB. Since a healthy attitude towards his coreligionists is assumed, the Democratic Party can in turn use this to lie to the American people. They say, "even Jews that surely have Isreals' back agree, this is not a security threat but a political stunt etc.".

These conversations help set the record straight, that the survival of American and Israeli lives are not the main focus, and primary concern to leftist Jews...

...Just like our "cool headed" President .

Rivky's RICO case against Weiss family continues to collapse: Judge dismisses charges against his brother

See Baruch Weiss' motion to have Rivky's charges against him dismissed

Rivky's RICO case is clearly a slow motion train wreck. Another serious defeat for her so far unsubstantiated case against the Weiss family just occurred when the judge dismissed her claims against Baruch Weiss. How much longer are her lawyers going to stick with a case which obviously has no merit. She can't win without evidence - and so far she has produced none. Despite the high level of sympathy and support her initial shocking charges brought her - her supporters have been deserting her as the realization is sinking in that she has no case and that Yoel Weiss is the one telling the truth..

   Judge dismisses RICO charges against Baruch Weiss

Todros Grynhaus Trial regarding allegations of sexual attacks against school girls

update: Monday March 2 (an explanation and paraphrase of Rav Ehrentreu's letter posted below).

I have been told by insiders that it is widely known that the accused is guilty of being a serial molester of both boys and girls over a period of years. The point of contention within the community is whether he should go to jail. His supporters claim that he has received treatment and done teshuva and thus is not a danger to the community while the rabbis - in consultation with mental health workers - say that a person with this history can not trusted - even with therapy. The rabbis and the mental health workers assert that it is important that such a person be removed from the community since abuse is so psychologically destructive to the victims and their families - and therapy is not very reliable.

Rav Zimmerman clearly feels that Grynhaus should go to jail and is therefore is testifying in support of the 2 victims who had great courage in filing a complaint. It is alleged that there are in fact many other victims. Rav Ehrentreu's letter notes that there is strong opposition to the Rav's psak by arrogant and ignorant activists who have produced a flood of letters supporting Grynhaus and attacking the Rav. Rav Ehrentreu states simply they know neither the facts of the case nor the halacha and that Rav Zimmerman has correctly paskened in this case. He notes that the Gateshead Community is blessed having such a Rav who fights for what is required for the well being of the community and he should continue doing so.

=============================================

Manchester Evening News A ‘respected’ religious teacher has gone on trial accused of sex attacks on schoolgirls.

Todros Grynhaus, 50, who has taught in Jewish schools, is accused of exposing himself to one alleged victim he was ‘obsessed’ with, treating her as a ‘plaything’ and taking her to a hotel where he abused her in a jacuzzi.

He is said to have told another ‘vulnerable’ girl ‘you may as well make yourself useful’ as he subjected her to a sex attack. She alleges that Mr Grynhaus on another occasion showed her a passage of scripture ‘about sex’, and that on another his wife caught him in her bedroom. Dad-of-ten Mr Grynhaus, of Castleton Road, Salford, denies five indecent assaults and one sexual assault against two victims.

============I received the following document and letter====

The Gateshead Rav, R' Zimmerman Shlita will be coming to Manchester Crown Court tomorrow to testify on one of the victim's behalf. Many 'local askanim' have taken issue with him, and have stooped to disparaging the Rav with anonymous letters filled with vitriol among other things, lo aleinu. There are, unfortunately, otherwise 'chashuve people' who are backing this menuval.

The letter below was written by Dayan Ehrentreu and was distributed to Gateshead residents in support for the Rav.

Mendel Epstein et al indictment for conspiracy to kidnap, torture and extort husbands - for wives wanting to end marriage

Justice Department

  Epstein, Mendel Et Al. Indictment 

Father sentenced to 20 years for abusing daughters - Mother for 3 years for not reporting abuse

עשרים שנות מאסר נגזרו על גבר חרדי שהורשע בחמישה אישומים, לפיהם מאז 1988 תקף בנותיו הקטינות. אשתו,

אם בנותיו, הורשעה אף היא בסיוע ואי דיווח.

בבית משפט המחוזי בתל אביב, נערך היום (רביעי) דיון בעניין האב התוקף ואשתו.השופטים בראשות שרה דותן, צילה צפת ואבי זמיר, גזרו 20 שנות מאסר על האב, שביצע עבירות חמורות בשלוש מבנותיו, במשך למעלה משני עשורים משנת תשמ"ח ובמאות הזדמנויות, מאז הגיען לגיל 6.5-11, ועד לנישואן בגיל 18-19.

אשת הנאשם, אם הבנות, נגזרו עליה שלוש שנות מאסר, בגין כך שידעה על הדברים. הבנות סיפרו לה, והיא בתגובה אמרה להן שזה קורה בכל בית שני ואף שכנעה אותן שלא לפנות לסיוע המשטרה או רשויות הרווחה בטענה, כי הן "הורסות משפחות", ובכך סיכלה את האפשרות להתלונן על המעשים. בנוסף, נהגה באלימות פיסית ומילולית קשה כלפי ילדיה.

בנוסף חייב בית המשפט את האב לשלם פיצויים בסך 488,000 ש"ח לשלושת הבנות. האם תשלם פיצויים בסך 121,500 ש"ח, לבנות שהן כיום בשנות ה-20 וה-30 לחייהן.

"הרשעת האם בסיוע למעשי האב הינה תקדימית ושולחת מסר חשוב מטעם ביהמ"ש", נמסר מפרקליטות ת"א, "גם כאשר הורה שותק ועומד מנגד כאשר מעשים כאלו מתבצעים, וחמור מכך - משתיק את ילדו מלהתלונן, מערכת אכיפת החוק תילחם עבור הקטין שנפגע ותגרום לאחראים לעמוד לדין ולתת את הדין על מעשיהם. ההורה האחר הוא הכתובת הטבעית עבור הקטין הנפגע וזוהי חובתו המוסרית והחוקית לסייע בכל דרך לילדו". את התיק ניהלה עו"ד דפנה יבין.

[....]

Yeshiva Centre Issues Official statement regarding abuse and Manny Waks reply

This is from Manny Wak's Facebook Page     [It also reported by JWire]

There has been a new development in the Sydney Yeshiva Centre child sexual abuse police investigation. In the past hour the Yeshiva Centre has issued a public statement. Tzedek’s response is below the Yeshiva Centre statement.

OFFICIAL STATEMENT BY SYDNEY YESHIVA CENTRE:
“Sydney Yeshiva Centre, founded in 1956, has educated thousands of students over the years to be proud of their Jewish identity whilst becoming contributing and patriotic members of Australian society.
As part of a commitment to the highest standards of child well-being for the pupils in our care, our school Yeshiva College has comprehensive child protection policies in place.
There have been media reports about a police investigation into allegations of abuse decades ago by individuals who were associated with Yeshiva. Whilst the police have not contacted us about any investigation, if they do so we will fully cooperate.
Yeshiva unequivocally condemns any form of abuse, including child sexual abuse. We welcome any police investigation to uncover any improprieties, especially regarding alleged crimes against children. As a large organisation with hundreds of staff and many thousands of people associating with us for more than half a century, we acknowledge the unfortunate possibility that things may have occurred in the past and we encourage victims to go to the Police.
Australian rabbinical bodies, including the Sydney and Melbourne Beth Din (rabbinical courts), have ruled that incidents of child abuse should be reported to law enforcement authorities and Yeshiva stands firmly by those rulings. We are confident in the outstanding competence and professionalism of the Australian authorities to ensure the protection and welfare of citizens in our society.
Yeshiva stands ready to work together with the relevant law enforcement authorities and professional support services. We are available to offer assistance and support to any victim of abuse allegedly committed by any persons associated with the Yeshiva Centre. Requests for support can be emailed confidentially to support@yeshiva.org.au.”

TZEDEK RESPONSE TO THE OFFICIAL YESHIVA CENTRE STATEMENT:
“This is yet a further positive development – the Sydney Yeshiva Centre has made its position crystal clear; that it does not tolerate any forms of abuse, it encourages victims to go to the police, it commits to fully cooperating with the police, it offers victims and survivors an acknowledgement of what they may have experienced, and importantly, it offers them support and assistance in a practical and sensitive manner.
This is a highly encouraging development and I commend the Yeshiva Centre leadership for their proactive, effective and welcome statement. They have demonstrated a leadership role in this area.
Tzedek looks forward to working with the Sydney Yeshiva Centre and other stakeholders in order to obtain justice for past wrongs and to ensure the safety of our children.”

Rav Chaim Konievsky: Reporting child abuse to police - psak

update: This video was sent to me by an unknown person. My impression of it is that Rav Chaim is simply saying that if there is a situation where calling the police will save people then you can call the police without going to a beis din first.

He did not address that  case where there is suspicion or allegations of abuse . He was not asked  about the question of raglayim l'davar.

In short, the only thing certain from this video is that when it is clear that going to the police is the only way to save someone from being abused - then it is permitted. The other issues were not raised.

FreddieAB •

I have 'nebech' a cousin
In America upon whom someone 'fiddled' with - a scenario of sexual abuse.
What should one do to him?
He wants me to check out the matter. He wants to go to the police

Reb Chaim: "what is the question?"

A child, a child of 11 years old. A disgusting person sexually abused him. The person wants to know if he can go to the police or not?

Reb Chaim: "presumably yes - he will be saving others! - saving others, yes!"

The question is does he need to get permission from a jewish court or anything?

Reb Chaim: "it's logical"

It's logical that one doesn't ask first?
Can one act like this?

Reb Chaim "it's logical because one is saving others"

Celebrity status protected evil pedophile Jimmy Savile for 50 years in England

Daily Mail     "Never again must the power of money or celebrity blind us to repeated clear signals that some extremely vulnerable people were being abused," Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said today as a series of damning reports were published into how Jimmy Savile raped and assaulted hundreds of people at NHS hospitals.

"People were either too dazzled or too intimidated by the nation's favourite celebrity to confront the evil predator we now know he was," Mr Hunt told the Commons.

He spoke as the authors of one of the reports warned that NHS hospitals remain at risk due to inadequate checks on staff and volunteers and services should be "alert to predatory sexual offenders" such as Savile.

Investigations into 41 hospitals, a children's home and a hospice found the free access he was given offered him the "opportunity to commit sexual abuses on a grand scale for nearly 50 years", Kate Lampard said.

His status was "enhanced by the endorsement and encouragement he received from politicians, senior civil servants and NHS managers", she added at a London press conference. [....]

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Kaufman issued a Second Siruv and Hasroah Cherem - by Beis Din Givas Hamorah

Guest post: 

The Rabbinical Court of Givas Hamorah issued a second Siruv to Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Kaufman since he did not respond satisfactorily to the First.

Givas Hamorah - a Bais din Located in Bensenhurst Brooklyn NY  - issued a Siruv against Rabbi Kaufman for causing broken homes and damaging young families  through his Bais Horoah Inc.  10 Maple Terrace Monsey NY

For more information See the attached Siruv