marriage substitute - therapists

 Aside from cases where therapists give bad advice or continue therapy longer than needed there are cases where therapist gets sexually involved this is also true for rabbinical therapists but there are other issues

I saw man of 35 asked him why he wanted therapy he responded that he had a number of problems and been seeing a therapist in America so thought he should continue in Israel

me "How long have you had therapy?"

patient 10 years!

"That seems a bit long

patient But she said I needed it

Did you see any improvement?

patient No but she said I should keep trying

If you don’t see significant improvement – usually wthin 2 sessions you should try another therapist

But what is your goal from therapy?

patient To get married

But it is obvious your therapist was a substitute for marriage.  no more therapy

Several weeks later he got engaged

I was told a similar story by another therapist. There was a woman of 35 who was depressesd over weight didn’t care about her appearance or life. But once a week for over 10 years she got dressed up and put on makeup – for her weekly therapy session

ן ואילך, ככל הנראה בעקבות ו' ר בכרך, אבר מוצאים את השימוש בניסוי ת תרדה' בתפוצה הולכת וגדלה בקרב בעלי ההלכה. למשל, חרא נמצא מספר פעמים אולר' יעקב וישר בעל 'שברת יעקב', 197 וכעברו מספר דרדרת חרא ורוח למדי אצל מספר ם חשובים בירתו I שתשרברתיד,ם הגיעו לקהילות רבות, כגרן ו' יעקב עמדן 1 198 ו' ל לבוא, בעל ה'נרדע ביד"דה', 199 ותלמידו ו' אליעזר פלקלס, בעל שר"ת 'תשרנה בסור.בה'. 200 במאה ו.תשע עשרה כבד ניתן למצאו אצל בלשון הרבנית כמסבע לשרן שגרד ו ככועס אצל כל הפרסקים ו.גחלים, בייחוד בספורת השאלות רד.תשובות.

בכל ה בבית מדרשו ל ה'נרדע ביד,רדה' נשתגד ד,ביסרי 'דעתי דעת תרדה' אר ו ת תרדה'. אמנם גם ציחף ה לא חרוש שם, והוא כבד ,.,פיע זעיר פה זעיר שם ' הביניים 201 ראחדיד,ם, אך חסה כי תפוצתו במאות השנים הללו במרבה מארד. ה'נרדע ניזזדה' עצמו השתמש בר פעמים ספרדרת, 202 רגם אצל החת"ם סרפד ,.,א נדיר למדי, 203 י בעיקר בלשונות פנייה בבקשת תשרנה לשאלה הלכתית, כאשד המבקש פונה אל ר.נורםק במסדה לשמוע 'ועתר ת תרדה' )בגרף שני אר שלישי!(, אך אצל בן אוצר ו' ה אסאד, א נעשית שכיחה יותר וגרבו השימוש בנוסחה זר בגרף ראשון )'דעתי - ת תרדה'(. 204 בכל המקומרת הללו אין ה אלא שימוש לשרן שבר נרמז כי המשיב מבסא

Dr Brown regarding marriage and Ger

Kedushah: The Sexual Abstinence of Married Men in Gur, Slonim and Toldos Ahron
Kedushah
 Gur: The Ordinances of R. Israel Alter, the Beys Yisroel
Gur Hasidism is a historical offspring of the hasidic groups of Pshiskhe[Przysucha] and Kotsk. Even though Kotsk had its own ideal of abstinence,

there is no indication that this was fostered by Gur until after the Holocaust and certainly not as a norm for the entire community. It was the fourth Gerer Rebbe, Israel Alter (1895–1977), known in Ashkenazi Hebrew as the BeysYisroel (after the title of his collection of homilies, the Beit Yisra’el who brought about the change when he re-established Gur Hasidism in the newly founded state of Israel. Shortly after his nomination as Rebbe in 1948, he inaugurated the Ordinances on Holiness, known in short as the takanot

, and commonly pronounced takunes

They have never been published nor, in all probability, ever formulated systematically. He communicated them to some of his senior hasidim , who later became the community’s first marriage guides (madrikhim ), and they passed them on to the community as “oral law.”The ordinances are known to many, even outside Gur, and, as I was able to verify in conversation with a number of Gerer hasidim , they consist of the following:

•

The couple shall have sexual intercourse only once a month, on leil tevilah (the night after the wife’s immersion in the mikveh at the end of her halakhically prescribed menstrual period).

•

The couple shall refrain from sexual intercourse from as early as the seventh month of pregnancy.

•

After the wife has given birth, the couple shall refrain from sexual inter-course for a further period of six months.

•

During intercourse, the couple shall aim to minimize physical contact. The husband shall wear some of his clothes, including his tsitsit (considered a segulah

—supernatural remedy—against the sexual drive) and will not hug or kiss his wife or engage in any behavior that is not required for the performance of the act of intercourse itself.

•

The husband shall direct his thoughts as far away as possible from the sexual act.

Rivlin: 'We salute the casualties of the Altalena - for not firing back'

arutz7

resident Reuven Rivlin spoke Wednesday at the memorial ceremony for casualties of the Altalena incident of 1948, during which soldiers of the newly-created IDF were ordered to fire on the “Altalena” ship, on which Irgun fighters carried arms to Israel’s shore for the War of Independence. The ceremony took place in the Nahalat Yitzhak cemetery in Givatayim.

The ceremony was attended by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Chairman of the Irgun Martyrs' Association Yair Assiskovitz.

"Seventy years have passed since the command was given, since the lights were extinguished, the light of reason and human discourse, the light of mutual responsibility, and as always in our history when one man raises his hand against his brother, the shock hits the foundations and the house trembles."

"Seventy years have passed and the wound has not yet healed, and that’s a good thing. There are wounds that must remain open, so that we do not think we can just go on," Rivlin added. There was never an incident like the Altalena. An order to our soldiers - to fire on our soldiers? This is inconceivable. We did not think that in the course of a war of survival, they would kill defenders of the land, fighters from among the best of the people, the remnants of the camps who came to fight for the people and the land. Brothers."

"Seventy years later, we must salute the Altalena fighters not only for their devotion, but mainly for the fact that even though they received crossfire, brothers’ fire, they did not respond. They did not meet fire with fire, they did not meet death with death.”

"This was the most important lesson that the young State of Israel, the young Israeli society, learned. The most difficult and painful disputes we will not resolve by force, as Menachem Begin said: ‘My brother, I call you: Do not raise your hand on a brother.' Even today, the lesson of the Altalena is not to stop talking. Brothers have to talk to each other. "

the collective fear of fallible gedolim

to be continued

Prof etkes cites Yated regarding Daas Torah or - why R Kaminetsky is infallible

       עיון אקראי בגיליון "יתד נאמן" מיום שישי, ל' בתשרי
               תשע"א ‎(8.10.10)‎‏ קורע חלון לפני המתבונן "מבחוץ" המבקש ללמוד על מקומם
               ועל תפקידם של "הגדולים" בחברה החרדית בת ימינו. בגיליון שתי ידיעות
               ומאמר פובליציסטי אחד – ובכולם מככבים "גדולי ישראל". עניינה של
               הידיעה הראשונה הוא מאבקה של החברה החרדית נגד הליכי הגיור של חיילים
               עולים המתנהלים במסגרת צה"ל. וזה לשון הידיעה:" - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס

https://www.e-vrit.co.il/7292-details.aspx



 מרנן גדולי ישראל זיע"א [זכרם יגן עלינו אמן] ויבלחט"א [ויבדל לחיים טובים ארוכים] רבינו מרן הגרי"ש 

אלישיב שליט"א, כבר יצאו ב"דעת תורה"
               לרבני ודייני ישראל, בו כתבו כי "הדבר פשוט וברור שגיור ללא קבלת עול
               תורה ומצוות אינו גיור אפילו בדיעבד"" - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס
Shulchan Aruch
https://www.e-vrit.co.il/7292-details.aspx
"השפעתם הקלוקלת של השבועונים.‎[473]‎‏ מנהלי
               תלמודי התורה כותבים: לאור בקשתם של מרנן ורבנן גדולי הדור שליט"א להתריע מפני השפעתם הרעה של השבועונים
               למיניהם פונים אנו אליכם, הורים נכבדים, בכאב וחרדה מתופעה זו החודרת
               בקרב מחננו, אשר מחד גיסא מביאים דברים באיצטלא חרדית, ומאידך,
          
     מעבירים באופן סמוי וגלוי השקפות פסולות ומסרים אנטי חינוכיים." - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס


   פסק ההלכה המנומק מאפשר לקוראיו מעקב אחר טיעונו של
               הפוסק, וממילא פותח את ההכרעה לדיון וביקורת. מנגד הכרעות 'דעת תורה'
               הוכרזו כעומדות מעל לכל ערעור, ומפתחיהן אימצו לגביהן דוגמה של אלטעות
               ‎[...]‎‏ תמורה זו הוצדקה בכך שהכרעות 'דעת תורה' נשענות על יכולות
               על-טבעיות שגדולי התורה ניחנו בהן – 'רוח
               הקודש', 'השראת שכינה' וכדומה – ולכן אין להחיל עליהן את הגבלותיה של
               הפסיקה ההלכתית הרגילה.‎[475]‎‏" - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס
https://www.e-vrit.co.il/7292-details.aspx



"המסקנה העולה מן המאמר היא שמי שאינו מכיר בסמכותם
               המוחלטת של "גדולי ישראל" מקומו לא יכירנו בקרב "היהדות החרדית הנאמנה
               לד' ולתורתו". לשון אחר, הציות ל"גדולים" בלא ערעור מסמן את גבולות
               הגזרה של החברה החרדית בת ימינו. אדם יכול לקבוע עתים לתורה ולהקפיד
               על קלה כחמורה, ואולם כשאינו מקבל עליו את מרות "הגדולים" בלא סייג
               אין לו חלק ונחלה בחברה החרדית. לא למותר להוסיף כי שימושו" - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס

https://www.e-vrit.co.il/7292-details.aspx

ציטוט מ "לשם שמים"

"המחבר
               בפסוק "ככל אשר יורוך" אינו אלא השלכה לאחור של הפרקטיקה הנוהגת
               בימינו, כביכול הציות להוראותיהם של "גדולי ישראל" בכל תחומי החיים
               הוא מצווה מדאורייתא, וכך נהגו קהילות ישראל מדורי דורות." - לשם שמים מאת עמנואל אטקס

https://www.e-vrit.co.il/7292-details.aspx

The Shidduch fraud

arutz7

Why is it that in these somewhat advanced and contemporary times we  allow the idea of seeking matrimonial matches for our children — shidduchim — to be equated with pleas for recovery from an illness, improved health, and the ability to earn an income?

Everything in our lives emanates, in one form or another, from the One Above. At the same time, as created beings, we have been invested with something extraordinarily unique — the ability to make free and independent decisions — as a gift from G-d. According to our sages, it is the will of Hashem that we use our Divine wisdom to channel our energies in good, right, and productive directions.

The odd thing about shidduchim is that in this generation — let us say over the last two decades — the effort to marry off our children has become a dreaded facet of life that has been comfortably couched in the term “crisis.” And those who have emerged as leaders of our worldwide Torah communities seem relatively at peace with the idea that a shidduch crisis is plaguing our community.

DaasTorah on Sexuality to be published in few weeks

I had planned to forget about the time put into this work. but as a therapist

I see there is a real need for it

please tell me issues that you think are important to include

I will be publishing it on Amazon

torah and common sense

I Used To Call For Boycotts Of Israel — Until I Spoke With Holocaust Survivors

 forward

I singled out Israel as the source of the problem. And my conscience did not hurt. Ironically, I had submitted a term paper discussing the Holocaust in media from 1950 to 1960 only two days ago. In my paper, I had made references to Anne Frank, my childhood hero.

that was two years ago. I am a journalist today. I don’t buy diamonds.

I also don’t boycott Israel.

Some of my friends would call me a hypocrite. How could I have gone back on my own words? How can I boycott chocolate brands like Nestlé for their bad trade practices while eating Sabra hummus which is owned by an Israeli company? How can I be so sensitive to the sufferings of Syrian refugees while ignoring those of the Palestinians?

And as someone did ask me, “How could you abandon your principles and become a Zionist?”I understand their disbelief and anger. I used to be one of them. They are not anti-Semites. Neither was I. It is just that I gained perspective over the last two years while they continue to see only what social media shows them. Most of them have never met a Jew, let alone an Israeli. And many in South Asia are emotionally invested in the fate of Palestine because of Jerusalem’s religious significance. Personally, I haven’t stopped caring about the Palestinians. I have simply started caring about the Israelis as well. To boycott Israel seemed like a good idea two years ago. Afterall, the boycott had worked in South Africa. There was no reason to think it wouldn’t work in Israel. It took me a while to realize that the story in the Middle East is not one of white supremacy vs. People of Color and that the boycott called for total economic, cultural, and academic isolation of Israel, civil society included.

How Junk Food Can End Obesity

Demonizing processed food may be dooming many to obesity and 
food-can-end-obesity/309396/e. Could embracing the drive-thru make us all healthier?
atlantic

Homeopathy, quackery and fraud- James Randi | TED2007

James Randi

|

TED2007

החרדית שבחרה ללדת בבית חולים פלסטיני

kikar

בתופעה שהולכת ומתפתחת בבית החולים, ניתן לראות גם אשה חרדית, שבחרה ללדת את בנה דווקא בבית החולים הפלסטיני, אחרי שלדבריה נפגעה מיחס פוגעני בבתי החולים בירושלים. 

על פי הדיווח של יוסי אלי בחדשות 10, בית החולים הקטן, שבבעלות הכנסיה הצרפתית, מקבל בזרועות פתוחות גם את הפציינטים היהודים וגם את הפלסטינים שחלקם בכלל נפצעו במהלך הלחימה ברצועת עזה.

Can Bad Men Change? What It’s Like Inside Sex Offender Therapy

time

Someone has shoved a workout bike into the corner to make room for a circle of overstuffed chairs dug up at the local Goodwill. The men jockey for a coveted recliner and settle in. They are complaining about co-workers and debating the relative merits of various trucks when a faint beeping interrupts the conversation. One man picks up a throw pillow and tries to muffle the sound of the battery running low on his ankle bracelet, a reminder of why they are all there.

Every one of the eight men in the room has been convicted of a sex crime and mandated by a court to see a therapist. Depending on the offense, their treatment can last several months or several years. (TIME has given both the men and the therapists pseudonyms in this story.)

They sit in the circle, the man who exposed himself to at least 100 women, next to the man who molested his stepdaughter, across from the man who sexually assaulted his neighbor. The group includes Matt, whose online chats led to prison; Rob, who was arrested for statutory rape; and Kevin, who spent decades masturbating next to women in movie theaters.

Some of the men’s crimes aren’t all that different from the allegations against public figures such as Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and Roy Moore. Unlike the famous men, they cannot afford lawyers to draft nondisclosure agreements, or arrange hush-money payments, or appeal guilty verdicts, as Cosby’s attorneys are planning to do following his conviction on sexual assault in April. (Cosby could also be ordered to seek therapy.) Nor can they attempt to stage professional comebacks or publish mea culpa memoirs.

Instead, these men were all found guilty and had their names added to a state sex-offender registry. They will remain on that list for decades and, in some cases, the rest of their lives. Anyone can search online for the ugly details of their crimes, including employers, partners and their own children. A judge has limited where most of the men in this room can live, work and socialize–and whether they can access the Internet. Some are unemployed, and many live paycheck to paycheck, dependent on the few employers who are willing to tolerate their criminal history.

The more than 800,000 registered sex offenders in the U.S. may feel that their parole restrictions are onerous, but the mere presence of a known offender in almost any community precipitates clashes of competing interests and legal battles that have only intensified in the wake of the #MeToo movement. In at least 10 recent lawsuits filed in states from Pennsylvania to Colorado, civil rights proponents argue that sex offenders face unconstitutional punishments that other criminals do not, and they note that there are no government registries for murderers or other violent felons in most states. The Supreme Court is scheduled to hear a case challenging the limits of the registry in its October term.

In October, the Supreme Court will consider a complicated case challenging the federal laws that govern some sex offenders. The decision could allow hundreds of thousands of convicted offenders to move more easily across state lines and eventually remove their names from the sex-offender registry.

Even if that suit fails, civil rights proponents and victim advocates will likely confront each other again in the nation’s highest court. A Colorado federal judge recently ruled that the state’s sex-offender registry is unconstitutional. He said the list constitutes cruel and unusual punishment because it can subject these men to ostracism and violence at the hands of the public and that it fails to properly distinguish between different types of offenses.

The Colorado judge’s decision ignited outrage. In response, attorneys general from six states wrote a joint amicus brief to overturn the ruling on appeal. In their brief, the attorneys general quote a judge from a separate case regarding sex offenders in Wisconsin: “Parents of young children should ask themselves whether they should worry that there are people in their community who have ‘only’ a 16% or an 8% probability of molesting young children.”