A unique chinuch proposal: An annual prayer asifa to daven for the students

Lchvod Harav

the following is an article authored by our Rav, Harav Y R Rubin of Mosdos Ohr Shlomo Manchester England. We would hope you could reprint it on your website. with Brochas of continued success in your Harbotzas Torah and for a chag kosher vesomeach,

C Shriebhand

director of The Informal Project

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A unique opportunity for a Kiddush Hashem

The mechanech was at his wit’s end. He had tried everything including the newest pedagogical techniques that he had learnt at a recent course.  He just could not get this child to listen, and things didn't seem to be getting any easier. The boy seemed to be fine otherwise. His family was baaleibatish, yet nothing seemed to be able to motivate him. He didn't bother anyone; he just sat there, sometimes looking out the window with a far off gaze. The mechanech felt frustrated; if he didn't know any better he would have thought the boy had a personal axe to grind.

Our mechanech had a connection with a Tzaddik and when he visited his Rebbe he wrote in his kvittel about the problem with this boy. The Rebbe looked up to his chossid with warm sweet eyes and asked simply, “Have you davened for this talmid?”  What a stunningly beautiful thought! Have you davened for this child? Does his pain enter your inner landscape? Is this child important enough for your sincere prayers?

Hearing this episode brought tears to my eyes. In the world of education we are often so obsessed with ticking all the boxes, achieving the right marks in tests, approximating preordained levels that we forget who we are teaching. Nothing brings us closer to our students than when we see their difficulties and tribulations as those of Yiddishe neshomas with whose care we have been entrusted. Who wouldn't daven for a loved one? What greater tool could any Torah Yied have?

In parshas Shemini we come across an extremely deep lesson.  “Moshe and Aaron came” (9:23). This “coming” refers to a specific prayer that Moshe and Aaron offered upon the completion of the Mishkan. Rashi explains that when construction of the Mishkan was finished and all the sacrifices had been brought, the Divine Presence still did not descend upon the Bnei Yisroel. Aaron was extremely distressed, because he took it as a rebuke for his participation during the episode of the Golden Calf. At that point, Moshe came and davened for Hashem’s mercy. It was first then that the Shechina descended.

Perhaps this is meant to show us that even after every detail of a set of instructions has been fulfilled, all the boxes ticked, still, it takes a tefillah to actualise the bringing down of the presence of Hashem.

We all are extremely aware of the challenges our young face, and we have all seen our mechanchim trying their utmost to advance their understanding of their students. But, as the Rebbe asked, have we davened for our students? Have we stood with a Sefer Tehillim in hand and beseeched Hashem for Divine help?

I would like to make a proposal. I do so with trepidation because I am fully aware that others may wonder about where this originates. However, sometimes you just have an intuition about something and you want to share it. What happens subsequently is in Hashem’s Hands.

My proposal is simple: once a year, at a date to be determined, every rebbe, mechanech, menahel, Rosh Yeshiva, Beis Yaakov teacher, indeed everyone who has our children's neshomas in their hands, should come together and daven for their students. This will be at one central location, embracing all mosdos.

Each participant will come with a list of their students’ names and after we all say a few chapters of Tehillim, each participant will quietly go through their list. The order of this event can be fine- tuned. I only want to offer the template. 

Now, step back for a moment and just imagine the impact such an event could have. Children would see how their teachers care about them. Parents would witness the deep devotion that their rebbes have for their charges. Just the thought of hundreds, perhaps more, of our mechanchim coming with their lists, asking Hashem for help, beseeching that they succeed with the next generation of hielige neshomas, is awesome.

The children would feel a sense of connection, as would the teachers. Mechanchim from all mosdos would be in one place davening for their students. 

This would be a Kiddush Hashem without any politics or factions. It’s just a case of Torah teachers offering their personal tefillos. Above and beyond all the rules and guidelines, they are coming simply as Yieden, asking for help in the most vital challenge of our times. My heart whispers to me that this would create kovod Shomayim, and I sense that our combined tefillos for our kinderlach would rip open the Gates of Shomayim.

I repeat, I am but a minor player in this huge field, and forgive me for my impertinence, but none is intended. I only bring this proposal because in a turbulent sea, any lifeboat is worthy of support.

I hope readers will take this matter to heart, and if it strikes a chord there, please let’s do something about it soon.

Our children need our tefillos, and we need to be offering them now.

The Million Jew Seder By Rabbi Shmully Hecht

The article below says some important things that need to be said and acted upon. After I read it I spoke with Rabbi Hecht and asked him to write an introduction. One of the comments he made in our conversation was that the concern for the non-observant Jew is not an exclusive Chabad endeavor and in fact there are a significant number of Lubavitcher's who have trouble reaching out to their fellow Jews. He noted that it was important to clarify that his message was not Chabad versus the Charedim - but rather that we all need to work on removing the barriers betwen Jews.
 
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Dear Readers , 

Please allow me to briefly introduce myself. My name is Shmully Hecht and I am the senior Chabad Rabbi at Yale University .  Though I was born and married into prominent Chabad families  on all sides , our recent family ancestry  is quite broad and unique.  The Hecht family can best be described as Galitziana Yidden. In fact, in 1885 my great great grandfather Reb Hersh Meilech Hecht  z”l came from the  Polish town of  Shiniv to America  with the  blessings of Reb Yechezkel of Shiniv; grandson of The Sanzer Rav . My mother’s father, Rav Chaim Gutnick z”l  learned in Telz for many years  with Rav Mordechaii Gifter  before the second world war. My wife’s maternal  extended Weiss family are prominent Satmar Chasidim; Reb Moshe Weiss being a great uncle. My wife’s paternal great grandfather was Rav Nisen Pilchik, among the  founders of Stolin in America. My father is the Senior  Rav in the Sephardic community of Queens where I grew up davening with Jews from Iran, Afghanistan, Morocco, Egypt, Algeria, Tunisia and just about ever middle Eastern and North African Country on the map. I went to Ohr Yisroel in Queens NY for elementary school where the students were best described as black hatters/litvish  and our Rabbeim  were Satmar, Ger, Vishnitz, Belz and Lubavitch. I have spent time with Jews in over 100 cities on 6 continents, and have educated Jews in places as remote as Perth  Australia , Tokyo,Japan and Addis Ababa,Ethiopia .  

I have spent seventeen years as the Rabbi at Yale where I have met Jews from every secular and religious stripe you can imagine.  They span from the Chareidi Phd math candidate from Yerushalayim, to the Jewish Yale undergraduate, born to a Mormon father from Denver . 

In short, I am familiar first hand with the fact that there is really  only one Jew in the world and our differences are minimal compared to our essential bond and oneness. It is perhaps because of the many worlds I have been exposed to  that  I can humbly make that statement wholeheartedly and objectively . I have therefore asked Rav Chaim Kanievsky to officially ask his talmidim this year to kindly invite one Jew to their seder. My hope is to have one million Jews invited this year for Pesach by someone they would least likely expect it from . Even if they don’t accept the invitation, the call itself  will change Israel and the Jewish people in a revolutionary way. Please read the following story to understand why. Times of Israel

An open letter to:

Rav Shmaryahu Yosef Chaim Kanievsky

I write to you in your capacity as one of the leaders of the ultra-orthodox Jewish community of Israel, often referred to as the haredi movement.

On a flight last week from Israel to New York, I had a rather disturbing conversation with one of your of disciples. The individual was an ultra orthodox Jew and a successful Swiss real estate developer who resides in Jerusalem with his wife and seven children. He was on his way to New York for the wedding of a relative. I was returning home from Israel where I had spent the day attending the funeral of the father of a dear Israeli friend of mine from Yale, where I am the campus rabbi.  I had met the  deceased last year at his son’s wedding in Caesarea, where I was honored to officiate. On a subsequent trip to Israel I had put Tefillin on with this 77 year old man, preceded by an in-depth theological conversation about his Judaism and beliefs.  On this return trip to Israel it was at the Shiva house where, upon meeting many of the members of my friend’s F16 squadron, a troubling conversation began. This was a conversation that crystallized on the flight back to New York while talking with your disciple.[...]

Listening to him describe the gap that sadly divides the secular “chiloni“ and ultra-orthodox “haredi“ leaderships of Israel, I was dismayed and  saddened by how far this split has actually wedged a division among our people. Could we have reached such a low point in our history that Jews living in our ancient homeland were flying across the world to avoid having to engage with our very own rabbis? How ironic I thought it was that I, an American rabbi, had flown to Israel first to marry and now bury a son and father of the most secular type of Israelis. Would this young pilot’s first encounter with an Israeli rabbi be at his own funeral?[...]
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This is the Hebrew translation - Rabbi Hecht encourages the distribution of this letter

   מכתב מתורגם לשמולי

Schlesinger Twins: Beth's "friend" confesses that Michael persuaded her to trick Beth into meeting a psychiatrist

[updated with the notes of the confession]

One of the major signs of an abusive husband is his attempts to isolate his wife from all other support and normal human interaction - and to make her totally dependent on him - as well as to destroy her self-esteem and independent judgment and initiative. [As I have repeatedly stated, Dr. Schlesinger is welcome to present his side of the story.]

Dr. Schlesinger has been obsessed with the idea that Beth is mentally ill - post-partum depression and paranoid schizophrenia - despite repeated evaluations that she is not and has not been suffering from mental illness. As recounted in a previous post, he arranged with a psychiatrist that had never met Beth to certify that she was schizophrenic and then Michael called the police to have her committed by falsely claiming that he was a psychiatrist. However this plot failed when the police psychiatrist said Beth was not mentally ill and Michael was kicked out of the apartment and custody was awarded to Beth. This was not his only attempt to get Beth certified as mentally ill as well as to spread rumors in the community that she was mentally ill. He also successfully got a therapist to write an invalid report for the custody trial indicating that she had mental health issues. (That report has been shown to be invalid by subsequent evaluations by recognized therapists.)

However this post is about another attempt to confirm his diagnosis that she was mentally ill -  which involved Beth's friends betraying her.

What follows are Beth's notes of the confession of "Janet" whom she once viewed as a good friend who was after consultation with Michael and some of his supporters - agreed to trick Beth into seeing a psychiatrist who was expected to declare her mentally ill. I had asked "Janet" yesterday to publicly reveal her identity as a means of doing teshuva for her betrayal of Beth. However "Janet" now denies that she betrayed Beth and claims the rest of the account is not what happened. She does acknowledge tricking Beth into going to a psychiatrist to be evaulated for post-partum depression.  In fact even after the psychiatrist said Beth was not mentally ill (post-partum depression) "Janet" actively spread false rumors in the Jewish community that Beth was suffering from depression. I have the letter from the psychiatrist saying that Beth did not suffer from post partum depression.

   "Janet's" Confession 

In search of the historical Pharoah - Rabbi Yair Hoffman

5 Towns Jewish Times     The Gemorah in Psachim (116b) informs us that, in each generation, we are obligated to view ourselves as if we actually left Mitzrayim. Indeed, in Michtav MeEliyahu, Rav Dessler writes that since time does not progress linearly, but rather travels in a carousel like circle, the 15^th of Nissan of the year 2448 is actually the very same 15^th of Nissan of our own year now.

This is one of our obligations on the night of Pesach. This being the case, that halachically we must view ourselves as actually leaving Mitzrayim, in our mind’s eye we should envision and picture the escape.

Let’s give it a try. Before us, standing at the water’s edge about to enter it, stands Nachshon Ben Aminadav. Behind us, on a chariot, Pharoah is leading his hordes of well-trained soldiers. They are rapidly catching up. Yes, it is Pharoah – the short, obnoxious leader of the Egyptians that dared to present himself as a god.

But who exactly was he? What was his name? What do we know about him?

In the 77^th chapter of a work called Sefer HaYashar, which was first printed in Venice in 1525, there are details as to what his name was, and more about who he may have been. [Alter Bergmann published a more recent edition of it in Tel Aviv]. The author of this Sefer HaYashar is anonymous, and there seems to be a debate as to whether it was written in the times of the Tannaim or is a much later compilation.

So, what do we know about Pharoah according to the Sefer HaYashar? Well, apparently he took the throne at the age of twenty. His father, Melol, was sick for the last ten years of his life, but had reigned for 94 years. His name was Adikam Ahuz. In Egyptian, according to the Sefer HaYashar, Ahuz means short, and short he was. He was an Ammah and one half, exceedingly ugly, and had a beard down to his feet. [One perhaps could best picture him as one of the seven dwarfs a la Snow White, but with a crown instead of a nightcap]. The Sefer HaYashar states that his reign started in the 206^th year of Israel’s going down to Mitzrayim, so he reigned for four years.[...]

Dying patients denied experimental drugs - what can be done?

CNN     At first, Sandy Barker decided to behave nicely and sit silently in the audience as an official from the Food and Drug Administration extolled the virtues of a program to get experimental drugs to desperately ill patients.

Then she couldn't take it anymore. Barker's hand shot up.

"I've been sitting here for the past hour trying to be quiet, but I want to tell you what happened to my son," she said.

Barker looked down at a picture of Christian on her lap. She started to cry, but regained enough composure to describe how her son was diagnosed eight years ago with a rare form of leukemia when he was 13. A bone marrow transplant was supposed to help, but instead the donor's cells attacked Christian's body.

Christian's graft-versus-host disease was quickly getting worse. His life was on the line. Nothing was working. 

The Barkers searched for studies he could join but found none. Christian's doctors desperately wanted to try an experimental drug, but first the FDA had to give its blessing. 

The Barkers and their doctors begged the agency to allow Christian to use the medicine. By the time permission was given, more than three weeks had passed, and the graft-versus-host disease had moved to stage 4, the most severe stage. 

Christian died two months later.

During a panel discussion at a conference on rare diseases, Barker says the FDA official noted it can be helpful to lobby one's congressman to get access to experimental drugs.[...]

Last month the parents of a 7-year-old boy did just that and made headlines around the world. Josh Hardy's parents took to Twitter and Facebook when the drug company Chimerix denied their request for an experimental antiviral drug to save Josh's life. After receiving death threats from "Josh's army" -- executives had to hire security guards -- Chimerix reversed its position and granted Josh and other patients like him access to the drug.

Now that he's had the medicine, the virus that nearly killed Josh is gone and he's been moved out of the intensive care unit.[...]

Clergy Counselors and Confidentiality: A Case for Scrutiny: Rabbis Weinberger & Flaum

Jaapl    This is in regards to my recent post regarding Rabbi Biderman's breach of confidentiality by forwarding emails from Beth Alexander to her husband and a judge who is a friend of the husband. That raises the larger question of the parameters of rabbinic confidentiality. I am posting a link to legal discusion of a case in New York in which two rabbis tranmitted information that the wife revealed to them - to her then husband without informing her in advance or even warning her that they were obligated to reveal certain information to the husband. Was there in fact any halachic justification for Rabbi Biderman to reveal Beth's emails to her husband?

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As religious organizations contribute increasingly to community mental health, counseling by clergy acquires greater significance. As a result, clergy confront from time to time ethics challenges resulting from the need to balance a commitment to clients and an obligation to follow the requirements of religious doctrine. The recent New York case of Lightman v. Flaum highlights an example of this dilemma. A woman who asked two rabbis (Flaum and Weinberger) for help in her marriage complained that they had violated the confidentiality she expected of them. The rabbis requested summary judgment based on religious grounds, and the trial court rejected their request. The state’s highest court concurred with an appeal court’s reversal of the trial court. We discuss the arguments raised in this case about the extent to which clergy may owe a duty of confidentiality to those who consult them for psychological help, and we also consider the religion-based arguments that would fashion an exception to confidentiality in this unique context.

Schlesinger Twins: Beth describes the day Michael tried to commit her to a mental hospital

update - text format errors fixed.

In the following chilling yet fascinating account Beth Alexander describes her allegations of abuse by her husband - culminating in his calling the police to have her committed to a mental hospital.

Often when an intelligent, self-confident woman claims abuse by a husband who is perceived as a wonderful man - the question is if these allegations are true - why didn't she just walk out. Why would anyone tolerate this treatment. Unfortunately it is very common - and there are many factors.  In this case her version is supported by the police report.

As with many divorce accounts - it is important to realize this is her side of the story. If Dr. Schlesinger wishes to present his side - I will provide a forum for his version.

Beth's Diary the Day He Tried to Commit Me 

Rav Ahron Sorcher: Shabbos derasha this Shabbos - in Lakewood

Schlesinger Twins: Questioning the Willinger report that the judge used to take custody from Beth (part I)

There have been requests for the original documents dealing with this case. There are a lot of pages. Basically we have a court decision which based on  psychologists who had ties to the father which took custody away from Beth and gave it to Michael. Something rather unusual. Prior to that Beth had full custody because of Michael's attempt to have Beth committed to a mental hospital by falsely claiming he was a psychiatrist. However it was determined by the police psychiatrist that she was not mentally ill. An additional reason for Beth being given custody is because of her claims of physical and mental abuse

There was a psychiatric evaluation at the social agency Esra as the result of Beth being lured under false pretenses for a visit regarding child rearing - by someone she thought was her friend. In fact Dr. Schlesinger's supporters had convinced the friend that Beth was suffering from post partum depression and needed to be evaluated. That psychiatrist concluded that Beth was not mentally ill. There was another psychologist - who Dr. Schlesinger had surreptitiously visit the twins at a social agency.  She observed them for only a few minutes before she was discovered and kicked out. However she wrote a 5 page report not only on the twins but also on  Beth (based on what Michael told her). This "report" was submitted as evidence to the court also.

Basically I am going to start at the end, where recognized experts who examined Beth were asked to confirm or deny the reports from Dr. Schlesinger's experts that were the reason that the judge took full custody from Beth and gave it to Michael. I am simply going to give some excerpts from these reports. It should be clear that the judge's justification for giving custody to Michael is deeply flawed.

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 Dr. Willinger [the author of the main report the judge replied upon ] concluded the children were 'retarded' because they did not speak 200 words at 2 years old. Yet she had only seen them when they were 14 months and 16 months old.

Dr. Willinger based her assessment of the developmental delay on the very general scales of child development.

“A healthy linguistic development can be seen if a child of approx. 18 months has an active vocabulary of 50 words, the “critical amount”, in order to achieve the so-called “vocabulary explosion” which leads a child to have 200 words by the time they are 24 months old, so that they learn about 9 new words a day. It is easy for parents to ascertain a linguistic delay.” Willinger Report

 This is totally debunked by the expert that Beth consulted - Dr Sinko Sanz - who stated:

“I believe however, that these scales do not take into account inter-individual development. This is not just my personal opinion, but the limitations of these development scales are recognised in professional circles. This is also the reason why I rarely apply them…”

Dr. Willinger´s claims were also contradicted by a scientific study that Beth's lawyer submitted, that concluded speech retardation could not be recognised under the age of 3.

Dr. Willinger criticised Beth for not questioning the opinions of her pediatrician, health visitor and child psychologist, who all told Beth that the children were healthy and well developed in her care. She said Beth should have looked on the Internet, seen the development scales, realised her children were not at the right stage and then questioned their professional expertise.

Dr Sinko-Sanz, from a human perspective, defended Beth's actions and said they were perfectly understandable.

“It is a situation where she (the mother) is under strain and where, as far as I know, was given different opinions by many different people. In such a situation you tend to accept the statements that are positive. I think that's understandable. Even more so where the people that said that everything was okay (with the children´s development) were medical professionals.” Court hearing 17 June 2011

Dr. Willinger fabricated test results for 180 questions that Beth had not even filled out! When Mag. Oberschlick produced the pages that Beth hadn't sent back to Willinger and asked her during the 10 hour hearing how she nevertheless had test results for these pages, Willinger denied that the test hadn't been filled out and said she had the completed tests in her office. Even though her original handwriting was on the pages in Beth's possession. She claimed:

“A test for both children was filled out. I have these tests among my documents. It is a mystery to me where these other filled in tests come from. I didn't give out a second document.”  Court hearing, 24.6.2011

Judge Göttlicher did not question this bizarre statement or investigate the matter further.

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Both further psychiatric assessments by Dr Leixnering and Dr Wörgottor totally discredit the Willinger report

Willinger´s report was based on just 2 short assessments of the children.  By contrast, Dr Sinko-Sanz had assessed them over a 6-month period and said they were developing at their own pace.

Willinger´s assessment of  Beth as ´incoherent, illogical, delusional´ was later wholly refuted by 3 senior psychiatrists; Dr Marianne Springer Kremser, Dr Wörgetter and Dr Leixnering, who all confirmed Willinger had fabricated a diagnosis and there were no mental health problems whatsoever.

4.7.1     Dr. Willinger describes the father´s interaction with the children as follows:

The child raising ability of the children´s father can be shown by the given ratings. The children´s father is able to reflect in a variety of ways on the needs of his sons, by being able to recognize their emotional and physical needs.

P.49

In the interaction with his two sons, a loving, caring, intimate, very safe and routine behaviour can be observed.

        In contrast, Dr Löffler, who saw the children long after, on 21.7.2011, just 4 days before the father was awarded sole custody, described the relationship between the father and the children as follows:

Children´s father: no outreach (of children) to children´s father, no independent contact initiated, children´s father crosses boundaries in his behaviour, little reaction to the needs / signals of the child (turning away, ignoring). Danger Report, 21.7.2011, Dr Löffler

Judge Göttlicher herself initially accepted there were flaws in the Willinger report    

          

 In fact, Göttlicher herself initially raised doubts about the self same Willinger report.  Her sudden, drastic decision of 25.7.2011 was highly irregular and unusual considering that just 2 months previously, in May 2011 she denied the father's application for temporary custody on the grounds that the children were well cared for with their mother and she saw no danger: The judge noted:

“The mother takes good care of the children both in their daily care and upbringing and concerns herself with their welfare. This is well attested in the submitted reports in the file, including the reports of the Social Services (second district) and the statements from play groups. This point (the care of the mother for her children) is also not disputed by the father.” 

 Further, even Willinger attested to the loving parenting Beth showed the children:

"Even the report of the court expert, Dr Willinger states that the mother lovingly and caringly looks after the children and they are closely bonded to her.” Appeal Court decision, Denial Temporary Custody May 2011.

The fact that the Appeal Court acknowledged there was apparently nothing wrong with Beth but then said this didn´t affect parenting ability custody decision is simply outrageous.

“From the great wealth of evidence during the proceedings, it is apparent that the mother does not suffer from a psychiatric illness. However, child raising competence has no direct correlation to mental illness.” p.2 Appeal Court decision 2013

update Further refutation of Willinger

        Judge Göttlicher refers (original custody decision) to Beth's claims that Michael Schlesinger was also violent generally during throughout the marriage.  However she goes on to say that “the expert [Willinger] found nothing in the whole examination that indicated that the father might be aggressive, violent or not in control of his impulses. Oddly Judge Göttlicher did not send Dr. Willinger copies of the police documents attempt to have Beth committed nor his subsequent eviction order and restraining order and all mention of it is omitted from the Willinger report. 

          In the custody decision, Judge Göttlicher failed to mention Willinger’s hypothesis as stated by her in the 10 hour court hearing, that either the mother is not mentally ill and everything she alleged about the violence is correct, or she is mentally ill and is paranoid.  Beth's lawyer asked what we could deduce about the father if Beth were not mentally ill and Dr. Willinger stated this would be 'manipulation' by the father:

 “If we accept the opposing hypothesis, that the mother is not mentally ill, then the father's actions can be seen as manipulation.' Transcript, court hearing Willinger, 24.7.2011

As three further psychiatric reports (including a court commissioned one) all confirmed the mother is clearly not mentally ill, according to Willinger's reasoning, the father is manipulative.

The Story of the Jews by Simon Schama (PBS broadcast)

If the video is not accessible try this link
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x166tz5_the-story-of-the-jews-in-the-beginning-ep1_creation

'Open Orthodox' or 'Neo Conservative'? by Rabbi Pruzansky

Arutz 7     "Open Orthodoxy", the Jewish movement which has been kicking up a storm in the US, has faced considerable opposition from the Modern Orthodox establishment there.

The term "Open Orthodoxy" was coined by Rabbi Avi Weiss, himself ordained as an Orthodox rabbi, who argues that "Orthodoxy" or Halakhic Judaism (i.e. faithful to Jewish law/Halakha) needed to be more "inclusive" and "flexible" to innovation than his contemporaries believed.

The movement has gained some traction in recent years, even as it is shunned by most other Orthodox rabbis, and has courted controversy by testing - and, as many respected rabbis insist, by outright crossing - the boundaries of Halakha.

Much of the criticism to the movement has come from the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA), the main body of American Modern Orthodox Rabbis and the largest rabbinic organization in the world.

One of Weiss's most vocal critics is Rabbi Steven Pruzansky, a former Vice-Chairman of the RCA and Arutz Sheva contributor. [...]

"One of their most prominent ordained rabbis has even argued that the Avot [Biblical Patriarchs] never really existed."

Positions such as these are what makes Open Orthodoxy "almost a replication of the road that the Conservative movement took over 100 years ago", Rabbi Pruzansky reiterates.[...]

But despite all that, clearly there are many Jewish people who see Open Orthodoxy as filling a need... that something that is missing in their Judaism. How do you respond to that?

For Rabbi Pruzansky, this question drills down to the fundamental error committed by movements such as Open Orthodoxy: an attempt to adapt and rewrite Torah values to suit every demand or ideal of the contemporary western world.

"You can't slake every thirst, that's the bottom line," he explains.

In particular, he says the domination of Open Orthodoxy and similar fringe movements by feminist activists is an indication that they are not drawing their fundamental values from the Torah, but looking outside of it.[...]

Miserliness and Speaking Badly about Others by Allan Katz

Allan Katz    James Ferrel from  The Arbinger institute ,in his highly recommended TedX Talk – Resolving the Heart of Conflict  –and  Article  explains why we value problems above solutions, conflict above peace, reconciliation and  cooperation, and how to remedy the situation.

In a nutshell – James Ferrel explains that when we objectify people, or we don't share our resources with them - for example by not opening up our homes or our hearts to them , we need to justify our actions and  view of these people as being undeserving.This triggers our looking for plenty of negativity about them and sharing it with others. This inner need for justification is so strong that it overrides the need for peace and better interpersonal relationships.

In the talk he claims that we actually value problems, mistreatment, trouble, and conflict. He explains that according to Martin Buber, we don't have problems with people whom we count or identify with. We see their humanity and that they  - 'are made in God's image'. The others who don't count in our eyes are viewed as objects. It is easier to view or treat people badly if you ' objectify ' them. But objectifying people comes with a consequence – a deep inner need to justify that view. So the heart sees advantage in trouble and conflict, it provides the proof and justification that we are looking for. People then begin to value problems above solutions, conflict above peace and cooperation.

The way out of this trap is to see the humanity of others -and that they are made in God's image. In an article – James Ferrel writes about company executives, employees and representatives of the unions who spent some time in a holiday resort trying to see how they could cooperate much more efficiently. At the end of the 3 days, they attempted to resolve disputes which had been around for more than a year and that were scheduled for arbitration. 'They resolved the disputes in forty minutes , because – during the first 2 days together they solved the heart of the conflict that had been dividing them, which was the mutual objectification and blame for each other. Until they saw their conflict partners as people, with hopes, dreams, cares and fears as real as their own, they needed justification more than they needed resolution and were both unwilling and unable to find creative, mutually beneficial possibilities. They found too much advantage in problems to be able to find lasting solutions.' – James Ferrel. [...]

Are People born Good: Dennis Prager

Schlesinger twins: Beth discusses the issue of psychological assessments typically required in custody cases

Rabbi Tzadok has raised some important questions regarding this custody case. I asked Beth Alexander to respond to his questions as well as to clarify and explain the facts. Her response should correct a number of misunderstandings that have been expressed by some of her supporters and opponents.

I still stand by my original proposal. If Dr. Schlesinger has a psychiatric evaluation by a neutral expert it would end the dispute. If he gets a clear bill of mental health then I think Beth should stop her campaign and accept the court ruling. On the other hand if the evaluation indicates significant problems then Beth should get full custody including the option of returning to England with her children.

Guest post by Beth Alexander Schlesinger

Any legal battle is difficult. Compounded with custody issues, the battle is all the more trying. Navigating your way through a custody battle in a foreign country, in a foreign language, grappling a legal system and its workings that are totally alien and baffling is like being lost in a maze blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back and your feet bound together. 

Not being a lawyer and without always having legal consultation to explain the nuances of the court decisions to me, I have had to try and make sense of a process that has so far not made any sense to a single lawyer or professional that has been involved in the case. The oft repeated terms, 'Kafkaesque, and 'the Wild West' are perhaps the closest way of describing the bizarre chain of events stretching back to 2010. 

Through my own experiences and conversations with countless other parents going though their own hellish custody battles here in Austria, I have gained a crash course in the standard procedures that judges should follow and know that my case has been highly irregular by any stretch of the imagination. 

Custody decisions are almost always based on a court commissioned psychological assessments on all parties involved: father, mother and child/ children. As was to be expected, the judge commissioned such an assessment back in 2010 after we first separated. 

This was carried out by Dr Ulrike Willinger in 2010, a psychologist I later discovered has a direct connection to Dr Schlesinger. Not only did Dr Schlesinger work in the same hospital as her, but it later emerged that she is a close colleague of Dr Thau, the husband of Konstanze Thau, the High Court judge who intervened in the case on Dr Schlesinger's behalf without having any legal standing on the case.

By the time I found that out, it was too late. Willinger had already fabricated a diagnosis on me, falsely labelled the children as 'retarded' for 'not speaking 200 words when the children when 2 years old' and recommended the father for full custody.  Even though the children were only 14 months and 16 months when she saw them and even though the High Court denied Dr Schlesinger unsupervised access.The judge accepted the highly dubious report in its entirety and awarded the father sole custody in July 2011.  

I appealed. The Appeal Court reduced the father's custody to interim custody and sent the case back to the Lower Court for 'further investigation.' They stated that the father would have to prove:

1) his cooperation over an extended period of time (he promised to allow me generous contact to the children whenever I wanted, including long holidays to England with the children should he be awarded custody)

2) that he really is the better parent to manage the daily needs of the children

The reality is:

1) The very first thing the father did after being awarded custody was to break off all contact between me and the children. It was 8 weeks before I saw them again. Since then he has repeatedly cancelled my visits on short notice and without valid reasons.

2) He immediately hired Filipinos to look after the children almost full time while he works. He still has the Filipinos to this day. 

 

For the past 2 years I have repeatedly applied to the court for the judge to commission another psychological assessment on both the children and the father. 

I have presented extremely worrying evidence both about the father's violence and erratic/ irregular behaviour that clearly points to some kind of personality disorder. I have also expressed strong concerns about the children's physical and psychological health, including concerns about their missing teeth which the father has, to date, failed to account for. 

However, instead of commissioning a new assessment on all involved parties as is standard legal procedure in a custody trial, the judge relied on the same fabricated and outdated report by Willinger to award the father full and final custody 2 years later, in 2013. She only commissioned an assessment on me which proved I was 100% healthy. 

The Willinger report has now been discredited by 3 experts, making her initial custody recommendation and the decision that was based on it, completely worthless. 

Although strictly speaking a psychiatric assessment on the father was never specifically instructed by the Appeal and Supreme Court, it is incomprehensible why the father has not not been psychologically assessed since the judge commissioned an assessment on me!

It is a basic legal requirement to assess the parent who is to be awarded full custody by an independent expert, especially in light of the evidence we presented about him. 

Yet, the judge claimed she had enough evidence without commissioning a psychiatric assessment on him. 

Not only does this illustrate the clear one-sidedness of the process but also represents gross negligence by the judge to disregard his attempt to commit me to a mental hospital on a fabricated diagnosis and his lies to the police that he was a psychiatrist when he was a trainee doctor with no experience in psychiatry whatsoever.  

None of the testimony of his violence and erratic/ irrational behaviour reported by myself and other witnesses has ever been investigated by the courts. 

Dr Schlesinger has vehemently refused every suggestion of an independent psychological assessment on both the children and himself. I had no problem being investigated since I was confident of the results which proved beyond any doubt that there is no mental illness and neither has there ever been. I have never in my life taken medication other than paracetamol for an occasional headache which my medical records can also prove. 

If Dr Schlesinger genuinely has nothing to hide, why is he so afraid of being assessed or having the children assessed? What does he fear an independent expert may uncover?