Child abuse: Understanding the perpetrators

Review of Abby Stein's book "Prologue to Violence:Child Abuse" -

               [also known as the Vampire Theory of crime]

Abby Stein's important book sings in many keys at the same time. In one key, she challenges the wish that serial killers, pedophiles and other heinous criminals were "bad seeds," a very different species from us "decent folk." Her book opens with this telling quotation:

"Pedophiles are other people; rapists are other people; murderers are other people. It is hard for the mind to know itself as wicked. It tells itself a different story, keeping the darkness at bay" (Nikki Gerard p. 1).

Stein show us convincingly that criminal acts are the expression of dissociated alters spawned during childhood torture at the hands of family members. Her insights are crucial and neglected. An illustration of just how badly Stein's theories are needed is a recent New York Times book review of a sensationally smart serial killer. The review regales us with tales of this crafty killer without ever mentioning his childhood. [...]

Rabbi bans women from public office

YNET

Rabbi Elyakim Levanon, chief rabbi of the Elon Moreh settlement in Samaria, has prohibited female residents from running for the office of community secretary. The elections for the position are scheduled for Wednesday, but so far not a single woman of the 750 eligible adult residents of the settlement has announced candidacy. One woman, who remains anonymous, sent a letter to Rabbi Levanon asking whether she could run for the position. "I am a young woman and I think I have the desire and energy to do things. I also believe there is a benefit to making a woman secretary, because it's not right for men to be the only ones deciding how to run the community," she wrote to the rabbi, asking his opinion. But in his weekly column in the settlement's newspaper Levanon wrote that the position of secretary was not fit for a woman, according to the teachings of the Rav Kook. He said women could participate in various councils, but not as secretaries. "The first problem is giving women authority, and being a secretary means having authority," he wrote. "The second problem is mixing men and women. Secretary meetings are held at night and sometimes end very late. It is not proper to be in mixed company in such situations." The rabbi added that women who desired to affect public opinion should do so through their husbands. "Within the family certain debates are held and when opinions are united the husband presents the family's opinion," he wrote. "This is the proper way to prevent a situation in which the woman votes one way and her husband votes another."

Child molesting & being the Chosen People

by Rav Pinchos Yehoshua HaCohain [The is one of the essays being published in my book on abuse] He discuses the underlying issues which are unique to the Orthodox community concerning abuse]

The author has served as the Rabbi for 3 major frum Eastern seaboard communities, He has paskened Shaalos re: Shabbos, Taharas Hamishpocho, Kashrus, etc.) for 25 years. Received s’micha from Rav Yosef Breuer, ZTvK’L, Rav Shimon Schwab, ZTvK’L and L’Havdil Bain Chaim l’Chaim the Novominsker Rebbe, Shlita. Over the past 15 years, he has become heavily involved with the following issues in the Frum community: Substance abuse, Kids-at-Risk, domestic abuse and violence, and treatment of trauma and molestation . He receives shaalos and requests for guidance from all segments of the Chareidi community from around the globe.

We are the Chosen People! Our relationship with Hashem and the world about us is unique. The Torah tells us this again and again. We also affirm and reaffirm this reality daily in the traditional prayers that we recite in the synagogue.

Our “choseness” is manifest in the uniqueness of our spiritual mission. The Rambam (Yesodei HaTorah 5:1) writes that every Jew is commanded to be a source of sanctification of God’s name in this world and to avoid profaning it. We fervently pray and proclaim many times daily that we should merit this achievement. When we adhere carefully to our mandate and live in accordance with the Torah, then the beauty of our lifestyle is manifest and is the envy of all nations (Devarim 4:6). Consequently, it is extremely painful and unpleasant for me to have to point out and highlight some flaws and failings of Hashem’s special children - the Torah community. I believe that I speak for all the contributors to this compendium when I state that it distresses us when we discuss the topic of abuse in our communities. We are overwhelmed by pain as we criticize our holy brothers and sisters, and this pain is twofold. Simultaneously, we feel intense shame and embarrassment at the tarnishing of the Jewish people’s image as a holy people, and we feel pain for the torment of the victims and their families who are suffering because of our collective neglect. This cacophony of pain torments us and prompts us to speak out. Our goal is to raise the awareness of our people and hopefully encourage actions that will rectify the situation and end the disgrace to G‑d from this colossal misrepresentation of Torah values.

In shocking disbelief we hear and read the reports about the depravity of pedophilia occurring in our midst.Every fiber of our beings mightily protests, “THIS CANNOT BE SO!” It is inconceivable that perpetrators of such heinous behavior could live among us – and could even be our friends, parents, teachers and rabbis.” We instinctively think, “And could it be so prevalent? Impossible! Surely, it must only be an isolated incident!” However, sadly, to our great dismay, this is not the case.

In our discomfort, we can recall reading and hearing about distressing reports even in our Orthodox Jewish publications which contradicted the notion that only very few isolated incidents occur or that there are no significant societal problems. The following was printed 10 years ago in the Jewish Observer: [the rest of the article is in my book on abuse]

Rav Moshe Sternbuch: No Hespedim for molesters

Rav Sternbuch said someone that is known with certainty to be a molester should not have hespedim and he can be quoted on this psak.

I had asked him this question several months ago and he confirmed today that this is his view and added that it can be publicized.

Nationwide gathering on worms in fish

Nationwide Kashrus Gathering on Worms in Fish

International News

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

on Tuesday, May 25, 2010

(click on story to see video) Yesterday, Rabbis from Kashrus agencies across the country gathered in Brooklyn to see and hear how to remove the Anisakis worm from fish. The seminar was sponsored by the Vaad HaKashrus of Flatbush, under the direction of its Rav HaMachshir, Rabbi Meir Goldberg.  The Vaad had flown in Rabbi Shneur Zalman Revach and his assistant Yehudah to demonstrate.  The event was videoed and projected so the hundreds of participants could better see.  Representatives from CRC in Chicago, Star K in Baltimore and Kashrus agencies across the country flew in to attend the seminar.  The OU, the Vaad of Queens, the Five Towns Vaad HaKashrus was also in attendance.

Rav Sternbuch: Shavuos & Unity

Rav Chaim Kanievsky: Treating infertility IVF

SEE Excellent summary Jewish Action

Controversy regarding building 2 mosques near Ground Zero

Fox News

As controversy surrounds the construction of a 13-story mosque just two blocks from Ground Zero, FOX News has learned that an effort to place a second mosque close to the hallowed site in New York City is in its advanced stages.

The Masjid Mosque has raised $8.5 million and is seeking an additional $2.5 million to begin construction. While it apparently has not settled on a final location, it has told donors it plans to build very close to where 3,000 people were killed in the September 11 terror attacks.

In fact, the website appealing for donations boldly states that it plans to “build the 'House of Allah' next to the World Trade Center. Help us raise the flag of 'LA ILLAH ILLA ALLAH' in downtown Manhattan."

R' Moshe Halberstam: Mitzva to imprison molester

R’ Moshe Halberstam (Yeschurun 15 page 646): Let’s return to the original question concerning a wicked molester whose evil inclination forces him to sin and be wicked and it is possible to turn him over to the government in order that he be incarcerated in prison for a number of years until he calms done and returns to G‑d wholeheartedly. According to the sources we discussed before it is clear that there is no sin or transgression in handing him over to the authorities. In fact the opposite is true – it is a mitzva because by doing so he is caused to stop from doing the disgusting deeds. In addition we know that the government will not execute him. Therefore the essence of his punishment is that he will be forced to dwell for a number of years in prison. This will be beneficial to him in that they will assign him a psychologist or psychiatrist who will supervise him and his activities with a watchful eye. Perhaps he will be able to find a resolution of his torment by means of this treatment. So in such a case it is obvious that it is a good thing to save him and to save his family from his incestual attacks on them.

Supreme Court:Sex offenders can be confined beyond sentence

FoxNews

In a 7-2 ruling penned by Justice Stephen Breyer, the Supreme Court says a federal law passed by Congress to keep convicted sex offenders confined beyond the term of their prison sentences is Constitutional. The decision, however, does not foreclose the opportunity for the offenders from continuing to challenge their detention under other legal grounds.

Justice Breyer says there are sound reasons for the law adding that "The Federal Government, as custodian of its prisoners, has the constitutional power to act in order to protect nearby (and other) communities from the danger such prisoners may pose."

Monday's ruling falls under the Constitution's "Necessary and Proper" Clause which Breyer offers five points of justification for upholding the law. "Taken together, these considerations lead us to conclude that the statute is a 'necessary and proper' means of exercising the federal authority that permits Congress to create federal criminal laws, to punish their violation, to imprison violators, to provide appropriately for those imprisoned, and to maintain the security of those who are not imprisoned but who may be affected by the federal imprisonment of others."[...]

Importance of finding kosher fish worms

The following quotes are from my sefer Daas Torah. The essence of the problem is that we need to find kosher worms. There is no problem if in addition to kosher worms we found unkosher ones - that is not a contradiction of 2000 years of tradition from Chazal , Rishonin and Achronim and Shulchan Aruch. It is a problem if we now say that science has determined that there is no such thing as a kosher worm and there never was.

Rivash(487): We are not to decide any of the laws of our Torah and its commandments based on the opinions of scientists and doctors. Because if we were to believe their words, then Torah is not from Heaven—Heaven forbid! They accept this mistaken view because of their false proofs. If you were to determine whether an animal is treyfa based on medical knowledge you would conclude that the majority of the defective animals to be kosher while some that were declared kosher would be declared defective… However, we in fact do not rely on the judgment of medicine but rather on the words of our Sages even if they tell us that right is left. That is because our Sages have received the truth and the interpretations of the mitzvos by tradition generation after generation from Moshe. We do not believe the Greek or Arab scholars whose only source of validation is from their own theory and experimentation which is open to many possible errors—as opposed to our Sages…


Klaussenberger Rebbe:Halacha fromTradition not Science" (Shefa Chaim 6:456): Concerning the assertion of chemists, it is clear that they have absolutely no relevance in matters which are part of our tradition from our sages. The many halachos which don’t have a clear rational basis are not left to the decisions of the scientists. For example, whether a piece of meat which was salted before washing whether it helps to wash it and resalt it? Similarly whether salting requires waiting the amount of time of traveling a mil… Whatever we do concerning these halachos of kashrus are determined solely by the traditions, we have received from our Sages—and not according to the understanding of the scientists…. Even though the Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh Deah 92:11) expresses surprise that the Halacha seems not in accord to physical reality, all the rest of the poskim view that only the Torah view determines Halacha for us. This is true even when our understanding of nature contradicts the tradition. Therefore whenever the scientists establish something which contradicts our tradition, their views are totally irrelevant against what the view of the sages of our holy true Torah have said… Think careful about this because there are many halachos that our Sages established based on their understanding of nature such as the laws of nidah. If one constantly evaluates these halachos on the basis of the views of the scientists—the Torah would be nullified… Due to our many sins this is the degeneration of our times that the views of the scientists are viewed as more correct than the views of our holy Torah and they desert the springs of living water for dry wells. It is as clear as the sun that the scientists have no part or relevance determining the nature of G‑d’s Torah and they are not to be relied upon concerning matters of Halacha and kashrus. Their investigations do not lead to discovering the truth of Torah and that which they imagine should not determined what we do. It is enough if we rely on them in medical matters which the poskim approve.


Michtav M'Eliyahu(4:355): When Rav Dessler was asked concerning certain halachos that the reason that had been given for them is not in accord with modern science... [for example] (3) This that it is permitted to kill lice because they don't reproduce sexually (Shabbos 107b. Rav Dessler stated that concerning these and those like them—the Halacha never changes even though the reason doesn't make sense to us. We are to hold on to the Halacha with two hands whether to be strict or lenient [not like the Pachad Yitzchok]. The reason for this is that the Halacha was known to Chazal by tradition through the generations and they also knew things through experience.... The important point is that the reasoning they gave did not create the Halacha but rather the reverse was true—the Halacha created the reasoning. The reasoning given in the gemora is not the only possible explanation. If they happened to give explanations on occasion which were only true according to the science of their day—we have an obligation to search out alternative explanations that will justify the Halacha according to modern science.... Even if one cannot find a convincing explanation—we must still believe with perfect faith that the Halacha is still true and we hope that G‑d will enlighten us with an appropriate explanation.


Igros Moshe(Y.D. 2:70): That which is not visible to the naked eye it is not possible that previous generations after the completion of the gemora would know about it. Only the Sages of the Talmud (Chazal), with their kabbala and their sevara, could possibly know about it. We are obligated to believe that everything that they say is true. In contrast, after the completion of the Talmud even the Gaonim...

Kiddush HaShem: Rewarding the oppressor R' Yaakov Kaminetsky

update: The current edition of Emes L'Yaakov says that the source of this idea is from the Alter of Kelm Chachma and Mussar Vol 2 page 345. It is there almost word for word. The interesting thing is that this was part of a long letter the Alter of Kelm wrote to Baron Rothschild thanking him for his efforts on behave of  frumJews. He was in essence using this as a means of praise. If you see that even wicked people who intended only to kill Jews but nevertheless received reward for the resulting kiddush Hashem then surely you who have intent only for good will receive reward for the kiddush hashem that results from your generosity. I haven't found this idea anywhere else.


Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky discusses the mitzva of kiddush hashem in Parshas Emor. (Vayikra 22:32) He notes that it is not a mitzva to sancitfy G-d's name but rather that it is a mitzva that G-d's name be sanctified. From this he learns that children are also obligated in the mitzva of kiddush Hashem and this is justification for the view of some rishonim that children are to be killed rather than allow them to be converted to Christianity.

He adds [Bereishis 27:40] an additional consequence of the mitzva being that G-d's name be sanctified. He claims that the non-Jew who kills the Jew gets reward also for bringing about kiddush haShem. He uses this to explain the gemora in Sanhedrin 96b which describes a number of people such as Haman and Sancheriv whose descendants became Jewish. He says that was the reward for bringing about a kiddush HaShem - even though this was not their intent. He also claims that Yitzchok encouraged Esav to attack Yaacov so that Esav would be rewarded by the resulting kiddush Hashem.

Call the police if other ways to stop abuse?

One of the critical issues regarding child abuse is whether to call the police.

There are a number of questions but perhaps the most relevant is - "If I can stop the abuse without calling the police, am I permitted to call the police?" [This is assuming that the abuser is viewed as a rodef - rather than concern with punishing the abuser. In such a framework the only legitimate motivation for action is preventing future harm. This is also not a problem where the government mandates reporting.]

 In an analogous case, many years ago as I was on my way to shul on Shabbos, I noticed that a power line had falled and was lying on a car - and was sparking. I had two choices, to  stand guard over that wire until after Shabbos or calling the power company. Another case is where there is a medical emergency on Shabbos which is life threatening. The doctor lives a block away. Do I have to walk over to his house or can I call him on Shabbos? This in fact is a dispute amongst the poskim whether the prohibitions of Shabbos are pushed aside or nullified in these cases.

Rav Moshe Halberstam (Yeschurun vol 15) writes:... To summarize the matter, in our case where it is not possible for the children to be on guard day and night to stop their father’s sins [of incest], there is only one solution and that is to report him to the police. Even though I cited before Gittin (7a) where Genieva harassed Mar Ukva who was not permitted to report him to the government. But here it is different where the father is sinning physically there is no other solution. … Therefore if you know of a particular person that he is currently sinning and doing evil with his own children, you are obligated to save them and report the matter to the police immediately. That is so that they lock him up in jail and they leave there for an extended period of time until his lusts subside and it is certain that there is no possibility there he will be able to repeat his disgusting deeds a second time. But if he is not involved now in sin but it is known that he does such things – then it would be proper to give him a warning that if it becomes known or it is heard that that he even touches a part of the finger nail of one of these children then he will go to jail for a long time.

Criticisms of plea bargain in 'Starving Mother' abuse case

YNET

The explanations provided Thursday by the State Prosecution regarding its decision to sign off on the "starving mother's" plea bargain didn't manage to convince many people in the legal system. In a conversation with Ynet, a senior prosecutor leveled scathing criticism on the process and pointed an accusatory figure on the softened approach taken by enforcement bodies towards women when there is fear of renewed haredi riots in the capital.

"This woman is fit to stand trial. However, despite this, it is clear that there is a certain disturbance here that makes it clear that if the court were to convict her, she would be sent to prison for a few months to a year," explained the senior prosecutor, who is unrelated to the case. [...]