Monday, August 8, 2016
Jerusalem therapist charged with raping 3 sisters who came for treatment
A neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) therapist pleaded innocent Sunday to charges that he raped three sisters and committed other sexual offenses with them.
Alon Shamir, 50, was arrested two weeks ago and was indicted Sunday in the Jerusalem District Court. He was remanded in custody based on the prosecution’s claim that he may obstruct proceedings if freed.
The indictment alleged that Shamir was very close to the sisters’ family before and during the period of the alleged abuse.
Shamir’s alleged acts were only revealed in 2015 when the sisters spoke with each other about their experiences.[...]
Shamir was accused of multiple counts of indecent assault, rape, having sexual relations with a client and other charges.
“The indictment itself raises many questions and issues,” Shamir’s lawyer, Shiran Golbary, said in a statement. “This is an innocent man and we are certain that after we have read and gone through the appropriate material matters will become clear.”
[...]
YNET
טיפול בלובי המלון וברכב: המטפל מואשם באונס אחיות
אלון שמיר, מטפל ירושלמי בדמיון מודרך, היה חבר של הורים לשלוש בנות והתבקש על-ידם לסייע בטיפול רגשי ורוחני. הטיפול הפך לסיוט: שמיר מואשם כי ניצל את חולשתן של השלוש, אחת מהן קטינה, כדי לבצע את זממו
כתב אישום הוגש הבוקר (א') לבית המשפט המחוזי בירושלים נגד אלון שמיר בן 50 מירושלים בגין עבירות של אינוס, אינוס במרמה, קיום יחסי מין בין מטפל למטופל, בעילה אסורה בהסכמה ומעשים מגונים, בשלוש אחיות. אחת המתלוננות הייתה קטינה בעת ביצוע המעשים.
על פי כתב האישום, שמיר שימש מטפל נפשי משנת 2006, ובשנת 2013 למד לטפל בשיטת NLP שמתבססת על טיפול
בדמיון מודרך. משפחתו של שמיר ומשפחת האחיות היו מצויות בקשר טוב. להורים שלוש בנות, והם נהגו להתייעץ עם שמיר כדי לפתור קשיים במשפחה.
בכתב אישום נטען כי אב המשפחה פנה בשנת 2006 לשמיר כדי שיסייע לבתו, ג', בטיפול רגשי לאור קשייה להשתלב בתחום החברתי. במשך ארבע שנים טיפל בה שמיר בסדרת פגישות. את הפגישות ערך לה בין היתר בבתי קפה, בלובי של בתי מלון, במכוניתו ובביתו.
בתחילת הטיפול הגדיר שמיר את בעייתה של ג' בעיה של "משיכה מינית". במהלך המפגשים הוא היה מנווט את השיחה סביב אותה "בעיה" ונושאים רגשיים נוספים. הוא הראה לג' סרטי פורנו תוך שהוא מסביר לה לגבי תוכנם של הסרטים. אז, כך לפי כתב האישום, הוא ניצל את המצב וביצע בה עבירות מין חמורות, כולל אונס. האירועים נמשכו עד שהתחתנה.
Sunday, August 7, 2016
I Ran the C.I.A. Now I’m Endorsing Hillary Clinton.
During a 33-year career at the Central Intelligence Agency, I served presidents of both parties — three Republicans and three Democrats. I was at President George W. Bush’s side when we were attacked on Sept. 11; as deputy director of the agency, I was with President Obama when we killed Osama bin Laden in 2011.
I am neither a registered Democrat nor a registered Republican. In my 40 years of voting, I have pulled the lever for candidates of both parties. As a government official, I have always been silent about my preference for president.
No longer. On Nov. 8, I will vote for Hillary Clinton. Between now and then, I will do everything I can to ensure that she is elected as our 45th president.
Two strongly held beliefs have brought me to this decision. First, Mrs. Clinton is highly qualified to be commander in chief. I trust she will deliver on the most important duty of a president — keeping our nation safe. Second, Donald J. Trump is not only unqualified for the job, but he may well pose a threat to our national security.
I spent four years working with Mrs. Clinton when she was secretary of state, most often in the White House Situation Room. In these critically important meetings, I found her to be prepared, detail-oriented, thoughtful, inquisitive and willing to change her mind if presented with a compelling argument.
I also saw the secretary’s commitment to our nation’s security; her belief that America is an exceptional nation that must lead in the world for the country to remain secure and prosperous; her understanding that diplomacy can be effective only if the country is perceived as willing and able to use force if necessary; and, most important, her capacity to make the most difficult decision of all — whether to put young American women and men in harm’s way.
Mrs. Clinton was an early advocate of the raid that brought Bin Laden to justice, in opposition to some of her most important colleagues on the National Security Council. During the early debates about how we should respond to the Syrian civil war, she was a strong proponent of a more aggressive approach, one that might have prevented the Islamic State from gaining a foothold in Syria.
I never saw her bring politics into the Situation Room. In fact, I saw the opposite. When some wanted to delay the Bin Laden raid by one day because the White House Correspondents Dinner might be disrupted, she said, “Screw the White House Correspondents Dinner.”
In sharp contrast to Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Trump has no experience on national security. Even more important, the character traits he has exhibited during the primary season suggest he would be a poor, even dangerous, commander in chief.
These traits include his obvious need for self-aggrandizement, his overreaction to perceived slights, his tendency to make decisions based on intuition, his refusal to change his views based on new information, his routine carelessness with the facts, his unwillingness to listen to others and his lack of respect for the rule of law.
Harry Maryles condemns alleged blockbusting in Lakewood area - while he acknowledges he doesn't know if it actually happened
There's a new controversy brewing with bloggerwho presents himself as honest and righteous, but is also seen as having a long history of shooting from the hip, without bothering to ascertain the facts before criticizing and slandering people. He was taken to task this week for a recent article of his. At this point, to me, the details of the article are not the relevant part. What is relevant is that this blogger clearly stated that he does not know the facts and that he has not researched the claims that were made. However, not only did this not stop him from publicly lambasting a community; he brazenly insists that he was correct in his criticisms of that community, even though he got the facts all wrong.
Besides for not apologizing for slander, Rabbi Harry Maryles went to Matzav.com to defend his slander. After making some sarcastic comments, he stated as follows:
"But I felt that as an Orthodox rabbi, I should speak out about what this community has been accused of".
By speaking out, he does not mean defending this community against vicious slander. That is something that he reserved for the likes of Rabbi Michael Broyde. By speaking out, he means that somehow it is the responsibility of "an Orthodox rabbi" to further false accusations and slander.
In a comment on the article, a reader challenged him:
A rabbi has the responsibility to research the facts before he ever shoots from his hips. Not researching the facts is highly unethical and, of course, a true chilul Hashem. What you are doing is furthering distrust of [rabbis like you]. Now, whenever a ... rabbi as yourself makes a claim, it is highly suspect.
Those of us who follow the Daas Torah blog may remember a similar episode from this past January. Again, I feel that the subject is not what is relevant to this discussion. What is relevant is that the blogger came on here and declared:
You won't be publishing this, but I'm going to tell you anyway since you will in fact be reading it before you delete it.
It is not your view about the halachic issues involved here that is in question. You may in fact be right. .... In doing this in such a public manner, you have lost your Chezkas Kashrus among so many of your former supporters
[As an aside, as a follower of this blog I have observed that Rabbi Eidensohn is very liberal in allowing different viewpoints to be expressed. The only exception, where I have seen Rabbi Eidensohn remove or refuse comments are when there is clear abusive language, or when people keep on repeating the same things over and over. Particularly when they are not true.]
I guess that Rabbi Maryles is selective about who may be criticized publicly. This reminds me of a famous line from George Orwell in Animal Farm: "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
Rabbi Eidensohn's response was on mark, which never received a substantive response.
Conceding that I might be correct regarding the facts leaves you in a rather difficult situation when you claim to condemn me for besmirching chashuva rabbonim. If my facts are correct they deserve to be publicly condemned! ....
Harry you apparently didn't bother reading the letters written by a wide range of gedolim that I published on this blog. As you unfortunately have done with other issues you don't bother ascertaining the facts before you pontificate. And you respond on an emotional level rather than as an adult with concern for the truth.
On January 5th, at 4:32 PM the blogger responded:
You're right. I didn't read every single post you wrote on this subject. But I read enough to know that you condemned these Rabbonim Chashuvim many times.
If they deserve to be publicly condemned, Why haven't I seen R' Sternbuch's condemnation. Not his disagreement. His condemnation the Philadelphia Rosh HaYeshiva.
If he did and I missed it, show me his letter now and I will apologize to you.
Rabbi Eidenson immediately responded:
Harry your lack of basic integrity is astounding. You are acknowledging you don't know the material or what has been going on - and yet you start blasting away and then afterwards say you are sorry? You are simply another Joe McCarthy and have no sense of shame.
You might want to read the letter from ... and ... Read the other letters which condemn the joint efforts of ....
So please cut out your nonsense of "Why haven't I seen R' Sternbuch" ..... but you in your gaaveh induced visions "know" better than everybody else in the world.
Harry - you are the one who has to bring proof that what I have done is wrong. Your approach of hanging the accused with a lynch mob based on meditating on your navel and then saying well I will apologize if I made a mistake - is simply rishus. You are a chasid shoteh!
I have letters from many of the gedolim in the world who have condemned the actions of ..... You need to publicly apologize to them for your nasty ignorant comments.
Although all the letters are readily available on the sidebar of this blog, Rabbi Marles has still not apologized, nor has he removed his slanderous post. Apparently, some seven months later, he has still not read the letters and properly investigated the matter. Either that, or truth is simply not one of the requirements that he has for his blog.
I would like Rabbi Maryles to explain his position briefly. At what point will you stop your slander?
He also used obvious falsehoods in the past. A judge's ruling was publicly available. However, Rabbi Maryles decided to quote the now defunct Failed Messiah blog in order to slander this community. Again, he did not read the material. In an effort to justify himself he declared:
Now, I’m sure many reading this will discount the report because they do not trust the source (to say the least). But I am inclined to believe it. Because even though it serves his alleged purposes of bashing the religious world, there is no way Mr. Rosenberg’s blog could continue to credible to even his biggest supporters if he were caught in an outright lie.
Again, why not just read it. It would be quicker than the time it took him to compose his long blog post. In reality, the judge did not say anything of the like. Additionally, Mr. Rosenberg had a reputation of being dishonest. In fact, what was it that brought him to sell off his blog? An ethical person would personally investigate the facts before slandering.
Interestingly, Rabbi Maryles outright denied doing this on Matzav.com. A simple Google search proved otherwise.
I feel that it is high time for the impugned masses of Torah Jews to declare that the emperor has no clothes, and lacks any intellectual honesty.
I think that it is time for the Modern Orthodox world to hire an ethical Literary Ethical Ombudsman - similar to the one that works for the New York Times and similar publications - to review Rabbi Maryles' articles before he posts them. It would also be proper for him to seek out a competent Modern Orthodox therapist to help him understand why he abandoned his integrity when it comes to Torah Jews.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Jew
Saturday, August 6, 2016
Child molester sues N.Y. Rabbi Yakov Horowitz over tweets
USA Today A child molester who moved from New York to Israel as he was being sought on a new misdemeanor assault charge turned to the Israeli court system to quiet a New York rabbi intent on spreading the word about his crimes.
Yona Weinberg, who spent roughly a year in jail for sexually abusing two boys in Brooklyn, lost his bid Tuesday in an Israeli court for an order of protection against Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam here.
Horowitz had been visiting Jerusalem to teach a child-safety class in Weinberg’s neighborhood. The order would have prevented the rabbi from lecturing there because the community center where he was teaching is within a third of a mile of Weinberg’s home.
The bid for the protection order followed Weinberg’s filing a defamation lawsuit against the rabbi, who put out tweets warning Weinberg’s neighbors in Israel of his presence. The lawsuit is pending.
Horowitz said he won’t be intimidated by Weinberg, who used his position as a bar mitzvah tutor to gain access to his 12- and 13-year-old victims. He also sees the fight as part of a larger effort to thwart others from exposing sex offenders and warning potential victims.
The Israeli legal maneuverings are key to this tactic, he said.
“If you care about the personal safety of children, these lawsuits should trouble you deeply,” Horowitz wrote on his blog. “For, make no mistake, if these outrageous lawsuits are permitted to continue, fewer and fewer people will be posting warnings when convicted sex offenders move near you or those you love.”
Horowitz has spent 13 years advocating for child sex-abuse victims in the Orthodox Jewish community and has written several books on child safety and parenting.
“I think this is a test case,” he said. “I am not giving up.”
Just hours after having to appear in court in Jerusalem, Horowitz taught his child-safety class to 200 people. Weinberg unsuccessfully argued that Horowitz would incite community violence against him and his family, the rabbi said. [...]
Rockland's Horowitz not only rabbi threatened by child molester
lohud The Rockland rabbi being sued for tweeting about a child molester's whereabouts is not the only child advocate the sex offender has attempted to silence using Israeli courts.
Yona Weinberg threatened to sue Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn for defamation in May, spurring the psychologist and anti-abuse activist to immediately remove all mention of the convicted sex offender from his blog. Both are based in Israel.
The action comes a year after Weinberg filed a defamation suit against Monsey's Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, a case that is set for trial in November.
"This is a classic example of the sex offender as a bully," Eidensohn told the Journal News/lohud.com in an email. "He didn't say to remove particular items that he felt were false or misleading -- he said everything." [...]
Eidensohn, had posted newspaper accounts of Weinberg's 2009 conviction for abusing a 12- and 13-year-old boy, crimes for which he spent roughly a year in a New York jail. And, like Horowitz, he informed readers that Weinberg had moved to the Har Nof neighborhood of Jerusalem and included his address, "information which is vital for the protection of neighborhood children and classmates who might end up going to his home," Eidensohn said, adding that Weinberg claimed "that some of my posts constituted incitement to violence against him and his family."
"Eidensohn was violating the privacy of my own children. That's against the law in this country," Weinberg said in an email, noting that a local "money changer" threatened him and his family on the street. Weinberg reported that man to police.[...]
Horowitz contends that many didn't know of Weinberg's conviction because Israel doesn’t have a public sex-offender registry. He vowed to fight the lawsuit, which he sees as part of a larger effort designed to thwart others from exposing sex offenders and warning potential victims of the danger. The Israeli court actions are key to this tactic, he said. The lawsuit remains pending.
Weinberg and his lawyer insist he is not a danger.
Columbia psychiatrist "Dr. Richard Kreuger has already stated that I am not a pedophile," he said.
Karliner confirmed the results. "On those tests, he did not come out as a risk," he said.
Kreuger did not return a call requesting comment.
Weinberg maintained that he simply wants to be left in peace. "I pay my rent and taxes on time. I bother no one. I would like to move on," he said.
Horowitz said his denial makes him more dangerous to children and that he has brought media attention upon himself.
Eidensohn agreed, "What he is doing does not seem rational. His lawsuit is generating a large amount of publicity — none of it favorable to him."
Friday, August 5, 2016
'There aren't more sex abuse cases now, just more reports'
In an interview with Kobi Sela, Attorney Rebecca Schwartz, a haredi woman who represents victims of sexual abuse, noted how attitudes about reporting sex abuse have changed in recent years for the haredi public.
"In the past it was generally just older people, talking about what happened in the past, now there's talk in every place. And younger people are talking, too.
"Haredi society is more open now, with the access to social media. In addition, parents are more a aware now than in the past concerning what's going on with their children.
"Haredi society is more open now, with the access to social media. In addition, parents are more a aware now than in the past concerning what's going on with their children.
In addition to her work as a prosecutor in sex abuse cases in the haredi public, Schwartz works to further give haredi women a voice through an online forum that she runs.[...]
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Child molester sues Rockland Rabbi Yakov Horowitz over tweets
lohud A child molester who moved from New York to Israel as he was being sought on a new misdemeanor assault charge has turned to the Israeli court system to quiet a Rockland County rabbi intent on spreading the word about his crimes on the internet and in Jerusalem.[...]
Horowitz was visiting Jerusalem to teach a child-safety class in Weinberg's neighborhood, Har Nof. The order would have prevented the rabbi from lecturing there because the community center where he was teaching is within a third of a mile of Weinberg's home.
The bid for the protection order followed Weinberg's filing a defamation lawsuit against the rabbi, who put out tweets warning Weinberg's neighbors in Israel of his presence. The lawsuit remains pending.
Horowitz told The Journal News/lohud that he won't be intimidated by Weinberg, who used his position as a bar mitzvah tutor to gain access to his victims, who were 12 and 13. He also sees the fight as part of a larger effort designed to thwart others from exposing sex offenders and warning potential victims of the danger. The Israeli legal maneuverings are key to this tactic, he said.[...]
Just hours after having to appear in court Tuesday to fight the petition for the restraining order, Horowitz taught his child-safety class to 200 people, as planned. Weinberg had unsuccessfully argued that Horowitz would incite community violence against him and his family, the rabbi said.
The Journal News/lohud is highlighting the case as it conducts a broader investigation into incidents of child sexual abuse in the Lower Hudson Valley.
For Weinberg to imply Horowitz would incite violence, "is outrageous," Horowitz said, speaking to a reporter Monday from Israel, dismissing the latest court filing as "just another way of him trying to intimidate me."
Samuel Karliner, a lawyer for Weinberg in Brooklyn who helped him comply with sex-offender registry requirements while he was in the United States, said Weinberg was fed up with Horowitz, who has been disrupting his life.
"He didn't bring this suit as an aggressor," Karliner said. "He brought this suit to stop things from happening." [....]
"How can you slander a sex offender?" asked Horowitz, founder and director of the Center for Jewish Family Life/Project Y.E.S. (Youth Enrichment Services), a mentorship program for at-risk teens. "If somebody is out there (molesting) children, how do you ruin his reputation?"
A $55,000 default judgment was issued against Horowitz in June 2015 after he didn't show up in court, unaware he was being sued, he said. The judgment was removed, he said, but the case is pending, set to go to trial in November.
In Israel, a plaintiff can win a defamation suit by showing that negative things have been said or written about him but, unlike in the United States, he does not have to prove his reputation, livelihood or social standing have been harmed, according to legal experts.[...]
"In the event he returns to New York, he will be charged," Brooklyn District Attorney's Office spokesman Oren Yaniv told The Journal News/lohud.
Since Horowitz has been writing about Weinberg, two men have come forward with complaints, alleging Weinberg acted inappropriately around them when they were children. [...]
Karliner said Weinberg wasn't fleeing from law enforcement.
"My client left the United States with consent and knowledge of the New York City Police Department, with the Israeli government knowing that he was coming, with the Israeli government knowing his background," he said.
Horowitz, who faces thousands of dollars in legal fees, in addition to the threat of a judgement against him, pledged to continue his defense in order to protect families who have a right to know a predator is in their midst.
"I will fight to the end," he said.
Masei -76 Hypocrisy , Flattery and Authenticity in Education by Allan Katz
In our parasha God warns the children of Israel about the sanctity of life. Like Noah, who was about to leave the ark, the children of Israel are about to enter the Land of Israel. Both are warned to safeguard the sanctity of life – Noah Ber.9:6 שופך דם האדם באדם דמו ישפך - Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed – and in our parasha Numbers 36:33 ולארץ לא יכופר לדם אשר שפך בה כי בדם שופכו and the land will not have atonement for the blood that was spilled in it , except through the blood of the one who spilled it.
A convicted murderer forfeits the right of existence, the right to dwell on the land. If the act of murder was unintentional but there was carelessness, the perpetrator is exiled to a city of refuge and remains there until the death of the High Priest. His rights on the land are now limited because of his failure to exercise care concerning the life of someone else. The most serious of situations is – when a person is convicted for murder buys his freedom .According to the Torah , it is difficult to get a murder conviction because there is no such thing as circumstantial evidence. The murder has to be witnessed by 2 witnesses who warned the murderer before committing the act of murder that it is forbidden by the Torah and the consequence is that he will be killed by a court if found guilty. In such a case where the guilty person pretends to be innocent and the court is guilty of institutionalized hypocrisy and does not execute the man, the land is made into a ' hypocrite' and 'defiled'. ולא תחניפו ...ולא תטמא את הארץ
The Torah uses an unusual expression –' don't turn the land into a hypocrite.' A hypocrite is someone whose actions, external behavior or words don't match his inner thoughts, core or essence. R' SR Hirsch explains that in the Hebrew, the root of the verb that the verse uses is חנף = cha'naf . This is related to the word ענף = a'naf , a branch of a tree that supports the fruit that springs from it. The substitution of the letters 'chet' for' ayin' is an expression of negation. What appears to be a branch does not fulfill its design, promise and mission. It does not bear the fruit expected of it. It looks like a proper branch, but at its core it is not – like a hypocrite. The design and mission of the land of Israel is to express its inner core and essence and produce the blessings of the land, but when it does not express its potential and is barren because of the acts of man, man has made the land into a hypocrite. The land is no longer authentic and true to its mission. ( Ramban, R' SRH)
The problem with this translation –' do not make the land into a hypocrite' is that in a sense the land is being authentic to its source and inner core, when due to man's sins it no longer produces and lies barren. It is the nature of the land of Israel to respond to man's action - with blessings and plenty of produce in response to his positive actions and with curses and barren fields when man sins. The Kli Yakar translates the לא תחניפו , as do not cause the land to flatter you, from the word – cha'nu'pah – flattery. When a person expresses insincere praise in order to get something from another person, he is flattering him and is therefore acting like a hypocrite. The Persian King A'hasvei'rosh flattered the Jews by inviting them to his royal party and they in turn flattered him, by showing their appreciation and enjoying the hospitality. When the land continues to respond in a normal way to man's sin and unauthentic behavior and bears the produce of the land, it is also being unauthentic and hypocritical. When the land in response does not produce its yield, it is being authentic and faithful to its mission.
We can answer - that according to the Ramban and R' SRH the land is made into a hypocrite when it objectively does not fulfill its ultimate mission to produce crops and harvest. The Kli Yakar speaks in relative terms – the mission of the land is to respond to people's actions so when the land still produces despite man's sin, it is responding to man with flattery.
The antithesis of hypocrisy and flattery is the High Priest. He shows a continuous interest and concern for his people in his prayers that people should not be found guilty in court and that people do not sin, be careless and negligent so people's lives are put at risk and die. He does not flatter or praise people in order to ' get' but is genuine and authentic.
When it comes to educating and raising children and students, the focus is on the ' Lo lishma ', not doing things or learning because they in their essence are valuable to kids. This is much worse than ' making the land ' into a hypocrite ' or flattering the land. Here, we build kids to be hypocrites and non- authentic people. We are building relationships that are conditional and kids and people are only accepted if they perform or behave as demanded. Parents and teachers are more often than not, not authentic and use flattery to get kids to jump through their hoops. Parents are told to ' catch them when they are good ' and then praise them. The praise is used is to flatter kids so they will be more easy to handle and control. It is not authentic or sincere, but used in order to get. The problem with praise that even if it sincere it is experienced as controlling and as judgment by kids. Instead care givers can help kids reflect on how their behavior has consequences for others, rather than consequences for themselves and how they can impact on others and their classroom. Consequences don't help kids to ask – what type of person do I want to be or does my behavior reflect my inner core values. They are never brought into a process, where they can participate on what values should guide their classroom and how problems should be solved. Instead of addressing underlying problems and concerns of both care givers and children , adults unilaterally focus only on their concerns and when expectations are not met , use either positive or negative reinforcements . Rewards, punishments, consequences and praise don't solve problems; just make sure that the locus of control with the adults instead of putting the locus of control with kids and helping them take true responsibility for their education. We want kids to be self-motivated and inspired by their essence and core values, see value in what they do and not become dependent on extrinsic motivators and the approval of others.
The educational system is driven by extrinsic motivators like rewards, grades, honor rolls and praise. The focus is on superficial and extrinsic performance goals such as test scores rather than focusing on the whole child , his thinking, intrinsic competence goals ,helping him develop a love for learning and learning to form his own judgments , getting pleasure in his own achievements and feeling a sense of competence and self-pride. In schools, material that is not on the test or won't be graded has no value. Learning has no value in itself - the focus is to get the highest score, the easiest way possible. So in order to motivate kids to learn the focus is on ' how kids learn ' , so there is plenty of praise for high test scores instead of helping kids focus on what they are learning. Kids are never asked if they find their learning relevant and meaningful and given a chance to participate in deciding on a curriculum that focuses on their questions, interests and curiosity. The alternative to praise or grades is encouragement and informational feedback - a conversation between the adult and child where the adult uses responses that describe rather than judge and asks questions about the process – why the child decided to act or write in a certain way. The renowned teacher – Joe Bower said that assessment is not a rubric but a conversation. Praise and flattery is not a conversation , but doing to kids instead of working with them.
Mekach Ta'us? Discovered after marriage that his wife was Chinese but had operation to remove slanted eyes
אברך חרדי ביקש לגרש את אשתו בגלל שלא ידע שהיא סינית במקור. הנזק, לטענתו, הן העיניים המלוכסנות שקיבלו ילדיהם. הרב פסק: זה לא פגם. ומה אם היו נולדים להם ילדים שחורים? (חדשות)
לא ידע שהתחתן עם סינית - מקח טעות? יהודי שפנה לרבה של רמת אלחנן וחבר מועצת גדולי התורה הגאון רבי יצחק זילברשטיין, העלה שאלה מוזרה לגבי נישואיו עם אשתו, וביקש לברר אם מדובר במקח טעות - כיוון שגילה למפרע שמדובר בסינית.
"התחתנתי לפני כמה שנים עם אשה פלונית", הוא מספר, "ולאחר שנה נולד לנו בס"ד ילד. לצד השמחה הגדולה שהיתה בעת הלידה, נדהמתי להיווכח שלילד יש עיניים מלוכסנות, כמו של הסינים..."
"כששאלתי את אשתי בעניין, היא השיבה לי שאכן היא נולדה בסין, אבל במהלך שנות בחרותה עברה ניתוח ל'יישור' העיניים, ולאחר הניתוח סר ממנה 'המראה הסיני', והיא נראית כאשה 'מערבית'".
"הבעל התרגז מאוד על אשתו שלא סיפרה לו את הדבר, אבל אי אפשר להתעלם מהטענה שיש גם עליו, שכן הוא התחתן איתה בהיותה מתגוררת בארה"ב, וגם הוא לא ערך אודותיה את הבירור המספק" נאמר בעלון שסיקר את הפרשה. [...]
הבעל טען שמדובר במקח טעות, ועם אשה כזו הוא לא הסכים כלל להתחתן, לכן הוא רוצה להגיש נגדה תביעה לגירושין. כשנשאל היכן מוזכר הפגם הזה של 'עיניים סיניות' ברשימת המומים במסכת בכורות, השיב הבעל, שפגם כזה לא צריך להיות כתוב באף מקום... "כיון שבני-אדם כמונו, שאינם מתגוררים בסין, מתביישים בכך, ובוודאי שעל-דעת זה לא נישאתי לאשה זו". [...]
"בכל זאת", קבע הרב, "אין המקרים דומים, כי בענין הריסים אכן מדובר בפגם שאינו נמצא אצל שאר בני האדם, אבל באשר לעיניים המלוכסנות - הרי שליש מכלל האנשים בעולם הם סינים, ויש להם עיניים כאלה... ולכן אי אפשר לומר שזה הוא פגם..."
"אולי העיניים שלנו, הישרות, הן הלא-רגילות, ועיניה של האשה הן הרגילות בעולם" נאמר.
אחד המשתתפים בשיעור שאל מה היה הדין אם היה נולד לבני הזוג ילד כהה עור ("כושי" כלשונו), והרב השיב שכאן יהיה הדין שונה, "כיוון שכושי הוא קללה שקילל השי"ת את חם בן-נוח, אבל עיניים מלוכסנות של סינים? אינן קללה, כי לשליש מבני העולם יש עיניים כאלה".
Expert: Abolish mixed-gender combat units in the IDF - IDF values gender equality over combat effectiveness
However, despite the high numbers shown in IDF stats of the drafts into these units, indicating success, experts on the matter warn that the real picture is far less rosy.
Reserve General Raz Sagi, head of the Forum for a Strong IDF (FSIDF), who has devoted several years of his life to researching the effects of integrating women into combat roles, claims in an interview with Arutz Sheva that the rise in the number of draftees into mixed units should "make us lose sleep."
"When Caracal was formed in 2001 it was a small battalion of 300 combat soldiers, most of whom were women, and the chance that someone would get hurt was small. Today, however, when the army is taking entire already established infantry units and turning them into mixed ones it's disturbing. The Combat Readiness Department claims that they've now lowered the physical strength and fitness requirements four times in order to enable women to be accepted, and this disturbs me. Because, obviously, if the standards are lowered so that someone will be accepted, this means that the actual operational fitness and capability of the unit goes down," Sagi explained.
According to General Sagi, the great like of equality in the IDF is exposed by this lowering of standards. "What equality is there in the IDF if the female combat soldiers in the mixed units run less, carry less weight, and participate less in long marches. The female soldiers become second class. This isn't equality. Justice Strasbourg-Cohen already ruled in the Supreme Court Alice Miller case that the value of operational capability is higher than the value of equality. When the male soldiers in Caracal run, the female ones walk, when the males stand, the females sit. This is equality?"[...]
A more intangible but more less serious problem, according to Sagi, is the effect serving in a mixed unit has on the soldiers' morale. "When you look into the morale in these units, you find a serious problem. The men who are assigned to these units lose their morale. They take off the tags identifying their unit when they come home because they're embarrassed to serve there. Soldiers who don't have pride in their unit won't charge into battle."
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