The way to Get Observance

Just was consulted as to the best response to misbehavior including off the Derech children |If you pay attention to the Torah way to change behavior,  it is clearly heavily in favor of harsh consequences. Death Penalty or beatings. On the other hand we see that parents are often advised to give unconditional love to children or students who deviate. At one time parents would drive away misbehaving children or children were told to cut contact with less than perfect parents. Which is the correct approach? However it seems that the approved approach keeps changing. So what to do? The answer is that both approaches work sometimes but not always both can succeed sometimes and both can result in really bad consequences.