The impact of the Daas Torah Blog

 Guest post by Beth Alexander

To anyone sinking in a pit of despair, the pain and grief is all consuming to the point of total overwhelm.  The sense of feeling invisible, unheard and desperate for help against a backdrop of seeming indifference is possibly one of the scariest and loneliest of human experiences, enough to push a person to the brink.

That was the point at which Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn found me. My ex-husband who had abused me physically, emotionally and psychologically throughout our short-lived 3 year marriage had followed through on his threat to carry out the very worst. Few women in the Orthodox world succeed in fleeing domestic abuse without being “punished” for daring to seek a way out. A narcissistic abuser will go on to hurt her in the cruellest way possible; weaponizing the children, taking them away from her and poisoning them against her. Anyone who has experienced an abusive marriage will know that the abuse does not end upon divorce. Post separation abuse including endless and senseless litigation as well as ostracization from the community is a living hell. With the full backing and influence exerted by his community, doctor friends, connections with judges and Courts, my ex-husband set upon his mission to erase me from my young twin sons’ lives.

Rabbi Eidensohn heard about my nightmare ordeal and knew intuitively there was more to the “story” than met the eye. Whilst community troublemakers propagated the “2 sides to every story” line in a sneering attempt to further undermine and discredit, Rabbi Eidensohn as a clear-thinking psychologist and psychotherapist with deep sensitivity and keen curiosity knew there could only be one real version; the absolute truth and that’s what he set out to uncover and publish on his pages. 

There was no vested interest and no agenda, neither did he have any personal connections to any of the players involved in the case. Nevertheless, he sought to give a voice to both sides, an equal opportunity to be heard, *really* heard and publicly known and understood. To a victim of abuse who has been disbelieved and silenced to the point of giving up, an outlet like Daas Torah was extremely validating and no less than lifesaving.

That’s not to say anyone is given an easy ride. Rabbi Eidenshohn probes and questions everything. Every statement was vigorously fact checked and verified, every allegation passed through a forensic line of questioning that would be enough to make even the sharpest detective sit up and take note. His research and enquiries were meticulous but once convinced of the crux of the matter, Rabbi Eidensohn is relentless in his pursuit of justice. In my personal case, he knew a great wrong had been done. He was sadly all too familiar with the mindset of those who shamelessly parade about like pillars of community without conscience, who think nothing of stomping out those they perceive as weak and defenceless, especially vulnerable women and children.  

Abuse thrives where shame and secrecy prevail. Cultures which promote victim shaming prevent monstrous deeds from being exposed and as long as abuse continues to be covered up, it’s all too easy to deny its existence.  Community is a gift, there is an abundance of charity and chesed but on the flip side of the same coin is an ugliness that is often tragically only discovered the hard way, through lived experience.

Platforms like Daas Torah are crucial to the survival and well-being of our community. When all other channels fail, publicity serves as a formidable tool for tipping the scales of justice via the court of public opinion.  It challenges false narratives, encourages healthy debate and discussion. I had exhausted all other avenues and been shamefully failed by the Courts, the community leaders, social services and every door had been slammed in my face. My faith in the institutions which are supposed to serve us as well as human decency was shattered. As a pioneer of a blog covering issues of Jewish interest, Rabbi Eidensohn was way ahead of his time. He set out to raise awareness of what had been happening for decades in darkness but few had the courage to bring to light.

My boys now 14 years old have been deprived of a childhood with maternal love. I was excluded from the most important milestone of their young lives, their Bar Mitzvahs. The psychological damage and trauma that has been done to them cannot yet be determined but the scars undoubtedly run deep. 

It is the quiet and unsung heroes like Rabbi Eidensohn who deserve and demand our respect and admiration for dedicating his life to helping and uplifting others and keeping the Jewish world in check where halacha, morality and basic ethical conduct is forgotten.