The following is a grave warning to young women and their parents:
There is an individual loose in our community who presents himself as both a therapist and an activist fighting against the dangers of internet pornography addiction. He gives public lectures and speeches in various venues presenting himself as an expert in the field. He has spoken in shuls, Yeshivos, and Bais Yaakovs. He warns young men and young women to stay clear of potential sites and predators. This speaker is eloquent, articulate, and reassuring. He cites facts and figures authoritatively. Yet he has a pattern of eventually getting involved in Biblically forbidden ways with young ladies that reach out to him. These young ladies may be single or even married.
When he speaks at a shul, school or other event, contact with vulnerable young ladies can begin. The contact between the two begins innocently enough, at times, he presents himself as a type of therapist or counselor and promises confidentiality. At first the confidentially is maintained. When the young lady begins to delineate her problem, he explains that the problem is so severe that it must be either dealt with more directly or in person.
The patterns follow typical grooming techniques which are well-documented, of others who attempt to develop inappropriate relationships with unsuspecting victims. They begin by complimenting them. The relationship quickly becomes inappropriate and professional boundaries are not maintained. This individual has an office where he sees people, or he may meet them on a more casual basis. He tells the individuals that they need to develop normal patterns of relationships, and then he models that “normal” pattern of relationship r”l.
This particular individual makes sure that he does not get involved on a physical level with anyone under the age of eighteen. The individual treats his victims as “special” and may even say that this is the first time he has been so “taken” by a person.
The author of this article has met with a victim, and has examined evidence corroborating the victim’s story. The author has no doubt whatsoever as to the veracity of the story.
The author has also reached out to five separate Gedolei Torah – each Gadol has ruled that the information contained in this article must be disseminated to the public on the internet. It was at the behest of Rav Aharon Feldman Shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisroel that this community alert be issued.
If you feel that you or a family member has been victimized by this individual please contact jewishcommunityalert@gmail.com. Your identity will be kept private and this will help prevent others from being victimized.
In addition, Rav Harpenes is of the halachic opinion that all situations of a therapeutic nature should be strictly gender separated. Women must see women and men must see men, according to Rav Harpenes. [This is not a widely held opinion "Please see Dr. Joel Rosenshin's testimony about Rav Moshe and others in regards to this matter, in Dr. Nachum Klafter’s book." ]
Other Poskim have said that ideally gender separation should be maintained, but if necessary and under strict observance of the laws of Yichud alternatives can be pursued. They further instructed that the following guidelines be implemented.
1] Anyone who is currently seeing a therapist or counselor should make sure that the therapist is truly licensed and undergoes regular supervision. It goes without saying that this should be verified independently.
2] All yichud situations of a male therapist alone with a woman must be avoided, notwithstanding any assurances of permissions granted by Rabbis etc.
This specific matter is being researched for any possible illegalities involving misrepresentations of a therapeutic nature, and whether there are any illegalities involved in physical involvement with someone in a therapeutic context, even if the therapist is not a licensed New York State therapist. At this point the name of the individual in question is being omitted as research into the matter continues.
The author can be reached at yairhoffman2@gmail.com
Why didn't he reveal the name?
ReplyDeleteWho is this person? Does he have a name?
ReplyDeleteIt seems a bit odd that Yair Hoffman, who purports to be a journalist, bases his article entirely on the report of a victim. Did he not contact the perpetrator? If he did, why doesn't he mention it? If he didn't, why didn't he? Shouldn't the fellow get a chance to defend himself?
The ruling from the gedolim is odd too. Do they know anything more than what Hoffman is telling them? If not, what is their psak worth? Surely no one will disagree that the public must be warned about a known predator. Why does this require gedolim?
Hoffman says he has met with one victim, but claims there are many. How does he know this? There's a lot of information missing from this article. It's strange.
Hoffman is indicating this guy didn't do anything illegal under secular law.
ReplyDeleteSo if I hear a lecture on the dangers of pornography, in either Baltimore, Williamsburgh or the Five Towns, or wherever else this predator may be speaking, I should watch out for this unnamed, possibly unlicensed therapist. Very helpful.
ReplyDeleteThere is only one individual in the Orthodox community who presents himself as both a therapist and an activist etc.?
ReplyDeleteCause if there are more than one, we have just convinced a lot of people that they are all sexual predators.
In addition, Rav Harpenes is of the halachic opinion that all situations of a therapeutic nature should be strictly gender separated. Women must see women and men must see men, according to Rav Harpenes.
ReplyDeletePlease see Dr. Joel Rosenshin's testimony about Rav Moshe and others in regards to this matter, in Dr. Nachum Klafter’s book.
Why not publish a name so potential victims can avoid him...?
ReplyDeleteIf there is an actual danger, then you reveal a name. Otherwise stop speaking in riddles and shut up.
ReplyDelete"If he didn't, why didn't he?"
ReplyDeleteCause the alleged victim probably didn't want Rabbi Hoffman repeating information to the alleged perp that the alleged victim revealed to Rabbi Hoffman.
Rav Harfenes (which how his name is pronounced) is not alone.
ReplyDeleteRav Yaakov Weinberg zt"l of Ner Yisrael -- not one known for his "kana'us" credentials -- told a friend of mine that a man giving therapy to a woman, or vice-versa is "yehareig v'al yaavor"
Yes! Exactly!
ReplyDeleteWhy ever not? That makes no sense at all. If the perpetrator did it, he's aware of the information. If he didn't do it, he certainly deserves to be made aware of it.
ReplyDeleteTo me it seems that Hoffman is being sensationalistic. He provides no useful information.
Rabbi Hoffman is providing a useful service. If I heard there is a man going around attacking people wearing orange clothing, I'd avoid wearing orange clothing till he's caught. Rabbi Hoffman told me about a man doing bad things. He gave me a general description of the man. Now I can take precautions if I meet someone fitting that description. It's not likely, it seems to me, that very many people will match it. Otherwise, if the description was overly general, it would be burdensome to take Rabbi Hoffman's warning into account, and the warning would be counterproductive.
ReplyDeleteA man who "presents himself as both a therapist and an activist fighting against the dangers of internet pornography addiction." So, women eighteen or older should beware.
Can we move on now, people?
@Ari B - apparently Rav Yaakov Weinberg's concern did not extend father then your friend because I have heard that his daughter Dr. Aviva Weisbord provides therapy for males
ReplyDeletePerhaps his daughter doesn't follow her father's teaching.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and move on if you like. I don't think this is useful at all. He's engaging in sensationalism.
ReplyDeletePerhaps Dr. Weisbord has her own view on this. And maybe she never asked her father the shaaleh. You cannot assume that her actions necessarily reflect her father's view.
ReplyDeleteNo, because if there are a number of men who wear orange clothing, and the name of the attacker is known, it would be irresponsible not to divulge his name. There is really nothing to discuss. This is not the place for misplaced frumkeit.
ReplyDeletebecause if there are a number of men who wear orange clothing, and the
ReplyDeletename of the attacker is known, it would be irresponsible not to divulge
his name.
Not to mention unfair to those who wear orange clothing but are not attacking people.
"The author of this article has met with a victim, and has examined
ReplyDeleteevidence corroborating the victim’s story. The author has no doubt
whatsoever as to the veracity of the story."
Is this serious? Rabbi Hoffman is the final arbiter to wreck the reputation of a person because he spoke to a victim and has no doubt about the veracity of her claim? Is Rabbi Hoffman a trained therapist who knows what to look for exactly?
No. He's a halacha teacher for HS girls who also writes sensationalist articles and investigative articles on important matters such as the shaitel controversy http://crownheights.info/jewish-news/30772/clarifying-the-story-behind-the-laundered-wig-georgie-speaks-out/ and shlissel challah.
He's done this before when he wrote a few nasty "halachic analyses" about other alleged molesters which turned out to be wrong and now he's at it again. The fact that Rabbi Feldman or other unnamed rabbis told him to go ahead means nothing. Rabbi Feldman was also a prime player initially in the seminary scandal that he later withdrew his support for because he'd been hoodwinked by the CBD.
Rabbi Hoffman - if you have good evidence of something improper and illegal, go to the police. Otherwise stop playing advocate and policeman and casting aspersions on a wide range of people and go back to teaching and writing articles. This is SO very unhelpful.
This way he gets to burnish his credentials as an "Advocate for victims" and he doesn't even have to prove that there's an actual victim. Lopin, Maryles and all the others will sing his praises and talk about how he's a "real rabbi" and he may even get a medal for his "courage" one day.
ReplyDeleteand whether there are any illegalities involved in physical involvement
ReplyDeletewith someone in a therapeutic context, even if the therapist is not a
licensed New York State therapist
Doesn't seem likely. Is it illegal for a rabbi to offer guidance and counsel? A mentor?
What was Rav Weinberg's opinion about a woman using a male obstetrician? Also "yehareig v'al yaavor"? If we're discussing a choleh who needs a healer that begins billing at $150 and up, for 45 minutes, the poskim compare this to a OB. !אומן בעבידתיה טריד
ReplyDeleteIn cases where the therapist is not being used for healing, but being used for expensive friendship etc. then it things do change. Yichud, according to all, is always applicable.
maybe she never asked her father the shaaleh.
ReplyDeleteWould Rav Weinberg really neglect teaching his daughter about a very relevant case of "yehar`eig v'al yaavor" - despite her being a psychologist for many years while he was alive? Even saying that she is publicly flaunting her father's opinion about yehareig v'al yaavor is not probable. Her husband is Rabbi Beril Weisbord, the masgiach ruchni of Ner Yisroel. Do they feel that strongly about treating male patients that its worth it for them to defy their fathers opinion that one should rather accept death than to treat an opposite gender patient?
What about her husband's opinion? He is mashgiach at the yeshiva.
ReplyDeleteI see two complaints against Rabbi Hoffman's warning.
ReplyDelete1) He did not mention a name.
2) Is he accurate? Maybe he is wrong.
In defense of not mentioning a name - I do understand him a bit.
How many people give public lectures and speeches in various venues presenting himself as an expert in the field of internet trash? Additionally, Rabbi Hoffman is not suggesting that we don't attend lectures that are arranged by our shuls, Yeshivos, and Bais Yaakovs.
What Rabbi Hoffman is saying is, don't go for therapeutic and other help from a great orator without having gotten a responsible referral. In other words, be cautious! Knowing that there may be this charismatic orator out on the loose, people will be more cautious.
A person who has this type of problem is usually extremely humiliated by this. They would prefer to seek help in the most discreet way. Directly contacting a charismatic "therapist and .. activist fighting against the dangers of internet pornography addiction", who is not from their community, without having to seek a referral and letting another person in on their hurtful secret is enticing.
As for #2 - Rabbi Hoffman's assessment may be wrong. OK. He did not mention this man's name. He is warning the particularly vulnerable - those suffering from trash addictions - to be extra cautious. He also mentions that Rav Aron Feldman and Rav Horfanes agree with him.
You misunderstood Orlow's "wearing orsnge clothing" - it is referring to the victim, not to the perpetrator.
ReplyDeleteCorrect. I'll amend the comment to say: It's also unfair to those whose basic description matches the attacker's, but who are not attacking people.
ReplyDeleteIs the community failing to teach women to protect themselves from pervs and predatory men? Is it even attempting to teach women about this subject? Is the community instilling a sense of naivete about men and is that related to the hashkafa of blindly trusting men in positions of power, when the halacha does not truly offer them that trust or assumption, contrary to ideas that the schools, media, and community teach and promote?
ReplyDeleteThe rules are the same for all professionals, rabbis, men. There is no exception or blanket trust. Yes he was a predator but why in general aren't women protecting themselves? I ask this question because if he indeed did nothing against secular law, it is extremely relevant. If he did actually break laws and forced any women against her will to do anything, then obviously the question is not applicable. But if not, that is a very important question wouldn't you agree?
Is the community failing to teach women to protect themselves from pervs and predatory men?
ReplyDeleteHuh? Do you mean protect themselves from people like Bill Cosby, President Bill Clinton, and so many others?
Mrs. Weisbord is an independent-minded person, as was her father. It would not surprise me in the least if she chose to go her own way. It would be very much in the tradiition of that family.
ReplyDeletehttp://thelakewoodview.com/Front%20Page/mosrim-not-welcome-in-flatbush-3/
ReplyDelete