Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Vaerah 76 - Sustaining Change or the Teshuva- Repentance of Pharaoh by Allan Katz

 Guest Post by Allan Katz   A central theme in the parasha is Pharaoh's refusal to set free the Israelites despite him and his people suffering the terrible consequences of his stubbornness and counter-will. Pharaoh's stubbornness and defiance was reinforced by God ' hardening his heart ' so that after a temporary relief from a plague, Pharaoh would go back on his word and was able to endure the divine plan of 10 plagues. The first question is how can God punish Pharaoh if his refusal to set the Israelites free was due to ' o' nes '= coercion, duress and force. It was beyond Pharaoh's power and control to set them free because God had hardened his heart against making this decision. The second question is why Pharaoh and people in general don't learn from their mistakes or bad choices, even when they suffer the terrible consequences of their choices and behaviors. The classical example is the alcoholic who because of drink loses his job, his wife leaves him, or gets imprisoned for destructive behavior under the influence of drink. He then shows remorse and makes promises to abstain from drink, which is usually short-lived and he is soon back in trouble again. Like Pharaoh , when they feel the stick beating down on them, they repent and do teshuva, but when the stick is removed , they go back to their old ways.

The hardening of Pharaoh's heart had 2 purposes. It came after an initial expression of stubbornness and obstinacy that had to be supported and counter-act the pain and suffering inflicted by the plagues. God did not want Pharaoh to release the people because of extrinsic reasons that he was unable to bear the suffering caused by the plagues. The Divine plan was that Pharaoh would release the Israelites when genuinely moved to repent and not for the wrong reasons - to avoid the consequences, punishments and suffering. The second purpose was to strengthen and highlight Pharaoh true will and intrinsic choice – to keep the Israelites as slaves. He was therefore not interested in setting them free. Although Pharaoh had no choice but to defy Moses' request and to refuse to set the people free because God had hardened his heart, this was truly what he wanted in his heart and therefore he was punished for this. There is a concept that when a person is forced or coerced to do something wrong or sin because of ' o'nes ' or duress, and there is an element of willingness on his part to do the action, the willingness in his heart defines the nature of the action. Instead of one being forced and therefore not accountable, the person, because of his deeper inner-will is said to have done the action intentionally and willingly. This is learned from the verse in Jeremiah 30:14. עַ֚ל רֹ֣ב עֲוֹנֵ֔ךְ עָצְמ֖וּ חַטֹּאתָֽיִךְ׃If most of a person sins were done intentionally – be'meizid, his unintentional mistakes are considered as intentional sins, since without being mistaken or acting without intention, he would have intentionally done those wrongs and sins at some later stage. So while Pharaoh's actions were not in his control, his heart approved and wanted what he was forced to do.

The reason why people don't sustain change over a long period of time is because they engage in the repentance of Pharaoh – repenting because of extrinsic reasons, changing just to avoid the consequences of sin and inappropriate behavior. And once there is relief from the consequences, they engage in denial or rationalizing what happened to them as being unfair or bad luck etc, and soon goes back to their old ways. Change can be sustained if a person has a new sense of purpose and a new vision of himself. His essential needs for autonomy, competence and relatedness need to be addressed as well. Change cannot be sustained if a person feels forced to change or change just to avoid consequences. He has to change because he believes in the positive value in what he does. Pharaoh has to change because he acknowledges God's role in the world and the role of the Israelites in God's plans. People need to feel self-determined, autonomous, and connected to their inner-beingsand values. So adopting a new life style and focusing on the underlying philosophy helps people with drink, eating, gambling, anger issues etc. Often people are lagging skills and competence required in order to adopt and live a new life style. They also need a lot of guidance to learn new skills. Then people also need to be supported by family, friends and care givers and to have a sense of belonging and acceptance. In this way, even if progress is 2 steps forward , one step back , their hearts are for doing the right thing and the teshuva they do is genuine , not the teshuva of Pharaoh done to avoid consequences.

When it comes to kids, most of their behavior can be described as beyond their control as they are lacking the skills needed to behave adaptively and flexibly when the demands that outstrip their skills are placed on them. If we support their autonomy, competence, relatedness and sense of belonging we will raise children who will engage in true teshuva and sustain real change in their lives, engaging in an autonomous way in the moral act of restitution and reparation and not do the teshuva of Pharaoh simply to avoid consequences. In this way we sustain change and create a commitment to the underlying values involved.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Thought provoking - but not frum: What's Divine About Divine Law by Prof Christine Hayes

We periodically get into discussion - sometimes heated - about man's rationality being subordinate to the Torah. I just came across a new book (publish 2015 ) which discusses these issues in great deal. The author is not frum - in fact she is a non-Jewish professor. She discusses this issuwe in her chapters on natural law.

However I think she has something to contribute to the discussion and clarify what the issues are. Obviously whatever conclusions reached are subordinate to halacha and our mesora. So I would recommend this book only for those who are secure in their Yiddishkeit and would like to gain a greater conceptual understanding of what the issues are and possible solutions.

here is one page of the book
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The present chapter searches for evidence of a moral theory of natural law, distinct
from the Mosaic Law, in rabbinic texts.

Some scholars argue that a conception of natural law distinct from the Mo­sai Law appears in rabbinic literature in sources that deal with norms that pre­date Sinai. In this chapter, we consider this claim by examining texts that deal with pre-Sinaitic normativity in general and the seven Noahide laws in partic­ular. Our goal is to determine whether the rabbinic sources dealing with these topics provide evidence of a rabbinic natural law theory. There is no question that post-talmudic thinkers drew upon the notion of seven Noahide laws as a basis for the construction of aJewish natural law theory, but is such a theory in­ herent in the talmudic conception of the Noahide laws, or of pre-Sinaitic norms in general?

By the Middle Ages, Jewish philosophers were explicitly engaged by the no­tion of natural law and its relation to the revealed law of Jewish tradition. The first jewish thinker to apply the term "natural law" in a Jewish context was Jo­seph Albo (fifteenth century) who divided law into natural, conventional, and divine categories (Novak 1998, 124-25). Nevertheless, David Novak has ar­gued that Albo was not the first Jewish thinker to conceive of natural law in the Jewish context (124) and that "natural law theory, using a variety of different terms for itself throughout the ages, has been a constant element in Jewish thought." In recent years, a number of scholars and constructive Jewish theo­logians have argued that a notion of natural law is compatible with Jewish tra­dition (as a supplement to the revealed Written Law and the Oral Law), while others have argued that the concept of natural law is incompatible with the doctrine of a divine revelation of law.' To be clear, it is not our purpose to de­termine whether Judaism-as a multimillenium religious culture-has devel­oped or incorporated a conception of natural law as distinct from the Mosaic Law at any time in its long history, or whether it can draw upon the concept of Noahide law for the construction of such a view today.' Our question is rather lin I 'I und distinctly historical: do the classical rabbinic sources of late antiquity (i.e., prior to the rise of medieval Jewish philosophy when Greek cat­egories are more clearly adopted and adapted to Jewish tradition) evince a con­ception of natural law that matches and reflects natural law discourse in antiq­uity? This is not a philosophical or theological question about the compatibility of natural law theories and the abstract entity "Judaism:' It is a historical ques­tion about the presence or absence of Greco-Roman natural law discourse and conceptions in the literature of rabbinic Jews from the second to the seventh century CEo Any candidate for the title of "rabbinic natural law theory" will 

Friday, January 1, 2016

No More Statutes of Limitations for Rape

NY Times   THIS week, Bill Cosby was charged with three counts of aggravated indecent assault. The felony charges stemmed from an incident more than a decade ago, in which Andrea Constand says Mr. Cosby drugged and assaulted her in his home. Mr. Cosby says he intends to fight the charges, and no court has found him liable for sexual misconduct.

The timing of the criminal charges was not arbitrary. The date of the alleged assault was Jan. 15, 2004, and Pennsylvania’s statute of limitations for rape and sexual assault is 12 years: If prosecutors had delayed two and a half weeks, the limit would have tolled.

Mr. Cosby’s public fall in the wake of dozens of accusations has been an education in the reality of sexual assault, especially concerning the long conspiracy of silence, and the weight of shame victims are made to carry, when the suspect is powerful and famous. “I was a teenager from Denver acting in McDonald’s commercials,” wrote Barbara Bowman, another of his accusers, in The Washington Post in 2014. “He was Bill Cosby.”

After decades of unsettling claims and quietly settled lawsuits, Mr. Cosby’s public reputation has gone from America’s dad to America’s creepy uncle. But Mr. Cosby finally faces prosecution only because of a deposition made public in July: If that testimony had been revealed just a few months later, it could have been too late for prosecutors to try this case.

The charging of Mr. Cosby, just under the wire, raises a key question: Why is there a statute of limitations for rape and sexual assault at all? Across the country, 34 states have statutes of limitations on rape, sexual assault or both, ranging from as little as three years up to 30. (A few states also have reporting deadlines tied to statutes of limitations; and a number of states provide for an exemption from statutes of limitations if a DNA match is later made on a reported rape or sexual assault.)

Restrictions on how long charges can be brought after the alleged commission of a crime exist primarily to prevent the deterioration of evidence, but also to promote public order, protect criminal defendants who may have a harder time guarding themselves against long-ago accusations, and encourage plaintiffs to bring cases or report crimes swiftly.

Those are laudable goals that make sense in theory. But in practice, they undermine justice for survivors.[...]

Steipler : Yaavetz' cure for severe depression and suicidal impulses - more love and affection with spouse

Steipler (Letters #10): Question: Concerning a person who suffers from severe depression who has tried to commit suicide. Answer. Perhaps it would be helpful to teach his wife to speak to him words of endearment and affection. Perhaps he is one who takes a very ascetic approach to marital relations. In truth that is what he needs for a cure as the Yaavetz states in his Siddur, "There is someone I know who fell into a severe depression and it became apparent from what he said that it is the result of studying Musar books. Because of these pietistic studies he only has marital relations once a week and that only happens after he makes many religious preparations and he only does it exactly at midnight...I told him that he should increase the frequency of marital relations even having them 3 or 4 times a week – or more. And he should be involved in showing affection and hugging and kissing..." Thank G-d he recovered completely from his depression and thus we see clear proof that the advice of the Yaavetz is very helpful....
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Rabbi Eidensohn, as a psychologist who recognizes that there is such a thing as depression (which is not always cured by more frequent marital relations) why do you publicise this kind of teshuva? It may lead people to lose their faith in the Gedolim of the previous generation, or conversely it may lead to an increase in suicides.

Also, as an aside, what cure does the Steipler offer for single men? And what about for women?
l----------------------------
Daas Torah
Rabbi Sedley - as one who appreciates your genuine intelligence, commonsense and sensitivity - I am troubled by your question.The Steipler did not say that sexual frustration is the source of all depression or that a general cure for depression involves sexuality. Not all the details are included in this letter but it is reasonable to assume that a person with a history of depression and suicidal thoughts has been to therapists. Has already been prescribed medication and psychotherapy - but it isn't working. He is dealing with a person who he presumes to be obsessed with mussar and asceticism and as a result has a very unhealthy relationship with his wife. Such are not unusual in the yeshiva world and people who suffered from inappropriate spiritual endeavors [i.e. too much Mussar] were often referred to the Steipler.The point of the letter and the reason it is given out to chasanim - is not to tell yeshiva avreichim to avoid medical or psychological treatment for depression. It is not to say there is no halachically acceptable cure for depression for single men or women.It is simply to say that an unhealthy focus in spirituality can produce depression. An unhealthy attitude towards sexuality can produce depression. That depression resulting from a warped understanding of yiddishkeit and one's human needs - is not a badge of honor.A person needs to know what the Torah expects of him and what his or her genuine human needs and obligations are - and not try deny them by being a "tzadik".i
 .קהלת ז (טז) אַל תְּהִי צַדִּיק הַרְבֵּה וְאַל תִּתְחַכַּם יוֹתֵר לָמָּה תִּשּׁוֹמֵם

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Lesson in true modesty


Tzfas Get: Use of Zichoi for Vegetative Husband: Collection of Views

  update: Received permission to allow downloads. There will be a new corrected version that will be available in a few days.   
בעז"ה בימים הקרובים תצא מהדו' מתוקנת עם כמה הוספות, אשלח אותה בעז"ה, ותוכל להכניסה להורדה.

Tzfas Get by Zichoi for vegetative husband 

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Marc Gafni:A Spiritual Leader Gains Stature, Trailed by a Troubled Past

In his home office overlooking Monterey Bay, Marc Gafni is trying to remake American spirituality. He reads, he writes, and he works to bring a little-known philosophy called integral theory into the mainstream of New Age.

Integral theory “is based on the understanding that evolution itself is an expression of a spiritual universal force of creation embodied in each one of us as us, as unique selves,” said the futurist Barbara Marx Hubbard, who described Mr. Gafni as a leader of the movement.[...]

“We take the best of all the major disciplines of wisdom from the premodern period, the modern period and postmodern period,” Mr. Gafni said. “And we integrate them in a kind of renaissance project.”[...]

But the growing prominence of Mr. Gafni, 55, and his think tank has alarmed many Jewish leaders who know him as a former rabbi who was accused of sexually exploiting a high school freshman and who then moved to Israel to start a mystical community, only to lose it after having affairs with multiple followers.

Mr. Gafni, who talked about his past during several interviews, and his supporters say he has put all of that behind him. He said that old claims against him were all exaggerated, the result of professional resentment, and that he had been the victim of pseudofeminist witch hunts. (He handed this columnist a copy of “Sexual McCarthyism,” by Alan M. Dershowitz.)[...]

Mr. Gafni was born Mordechai Winiarz to an Orthodox family in Pittsfield, Mass., in 1960. His family moved to Ohio, and he attended an Orthodox Jewish high school in New York City. “He was one of the most brilliant students I have ever taught,” said Rabbi Shlomo Riskin, who ordained Mr. Gafni but later rescinded the ordination. [...]

Should approving adult-child sexual relations prevent a person from being a teacher?


The University of Hawaii didn't violate First Amendment rights when it denied a teaching certificate for a Caltech-educated aspiring high school teacher who expressed views condoning adults having sex with minors, a panel of federal appeals court judges ruled Tuesday. [...]

"Oyama's statements concerning sexual relationships between adults and children were of central concern to the faculty," according to a ruling by the panel of judges on the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.

In a class assignment he wrote: "Personally I think that online child predation should be legal, and find it ridiculous that one could be arrested for comments they make on the Internet."

He went on to write that "real life child predation should be legal" as long as it's consensual and that the age of consent should be "either 0, or whatever age a child is when puberty begins."

When a professor discussed the statements with Oyama, he said it would be fine for a 12-year-old student to have a consensual relationship with a teacher, but that he would obey the law and report the relationship, according to the ruling.

Oyama made other comments his professors found concerning, such as disabled students being "fakers."

The comments were relevant in determining whether he should be allowed to work as a public school teacher, the panel concluded, and the university's decision was "directly related to defined and established professional standards" at state and national levels.

"Therefore, the university's decision was, by necessity, prospective in nature," the ruling said. "Oyama stood in the doorway of the teaching profession; he was not at liberty to step inside and break the rules. But that does not mean that the university was obligated to invite him in. Rather, the university could look to what Oyama said as an indication of what he would do once certified." [...]

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Ultra-Orthodox Lawmakers Boycott Swearing-in Ceremony of New Gay Likud Knesset Member


Ultra-Orthodox Knesset members Monday boycotted the swearing-in ceremony of new Likud MK Amir Ohana, the party's first openly gay parliamentarian.

Ohana has entered parliament after Vice Prime Minister Silvan Shalom resigned amid allegations of sexual misconduct.

“I am here with all of who I am and what I am, what I’ve chosen and what I haven’t, and am proud of this: Jewish, Israeli, Mizrahi, gay, Likudnik, security-ist, liberal and a free-market-economy man,” Ohana said.

He said that as a Likud member he was sometimes considered a settler, and he was sometimes considered a Mizrahi, a Jew with roots in Muslim countries. [...]

ln an unusual step, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu attended the ceremony and gave his blessing from the Knesset podium.

“I want to make a clear point that may not be clear. Amir is the first clear, candid representative of the gay community who was elected in an open primary when he was completely out [of the closet]. He was elected by thousands of voters in the Likud primary,” Netanyahu said.

“Amir represents very well our view of liberal nationalism. He believes in the rights of the Jewish people in their land, in protecting the country’s security, civil rights, capitalist economics and a free market.” [...]

A source in United Torah Judaism said the party was not as enthused. “The UTJ Knesset members did not leave the Knesset hall demonstrably, they simply were not enthusiastic to enter,” he said. “There is no decision not to cooperate with him. A few [ultra-Orthodox] MKs went up to Ohana after the swearing-in and congratulated him.”

Israeli Women’s Groups Decry Lenient Rape Sentence of Community Service


A Tel Aviv court’s decision Monday to sentence a convicted rapist to community service rather than jail has sparked a storm of protest among rape victims’ groups and a Facebook page calling for the resignation of one of the judges.

However, some legal experts say that the lenient verdict is not unreasonable given the circumstances. 

Yaniv Nahman was originally indicted on three charges of rape, attempted rape two counts of indecent acts and dozens of instances of invasion of privacy. Police also suspect Nahman drugged the women, but because this could not be proven by lab testing, it was not included in the indictment.

Before the evidentiary phase of the trial, Nahman reached a plea bargain with the prosecution in which the indictment was significantly changed, and included only one count of a forced indecent act and one count of rape. Nahman pleaded guilty to carrying out forced sexual acts on a woman with whom he had been in a sexual relationship for years before the incident.

One complainant refused to testify in court and problems with the evidence emerged with regard to another woman’s complaint. [...]

Dr. Dana Hadar Danzig Rosenberg of Bar-Ilan University agreed. “Any case of rape is very serious. But when one reads the verdict, one must understand that it has to relate to the specific case…If I were the judge I would have given a harsher sentence, but this is not an extreme case, considering that the offender was in jail for six months and underwent rehabilitation. From the perspective of the victims I actually think that jail is not the solution. Sometimes an apology and compensation are more significant.”

The prosecution said it would appeal the sentence.

Rav Shlomo Miller strongly denies the Kaminetskys allegations that he retracted his protest letter


Demonstration Tuesday 6 p.m. at Binyanei HaUma against the Kaminetsky Heter for Tamar Epstein


I was asked to post this notice about the demonstration. Have no idea at present who is organizing it or who is endorsing it. Hope to have more details Tuesday morning